Sure! Here’s a comedic translation of the provided text:
—
Comment and Coupon Givers: Thank you all! 230th Time
71. Peace with Magical Beasts #3
Introducing Jupiter, the man who named himself after the legendary ancient divine being that led a griffon westward. Alone, without parents, he broke out of an egg somewhere in the western ancient nest, chewing on barren desert scorpions and poisonous snakes to survive. Talk about a self-made man!
Anyone who gets in his way? Dead! And dinner. He’s not shy about using cowardly tricks like betrayal and lies. Trust? Ha! He’ll happily stab his own brother in the back if it means he can gain an advantage.
For Jupiter, living a desolate life meant that getting fooled by lies and schemes was the real issue. And oh, how many bloody days of slaughter and chaos it took for him to claim the title of lord over the western desert!
“I can only trust myself!”
All he has are enemies—no friends, no allies!
But living a life surrounded by foes means he’s always on edge.
Fatigue.
Just when the burdens of weariness land heavily on his shoulders, he finds himself mechanically embracing women.
Regardless of the species, every female has this softness that can melt a male’s brain. It’s a shame it lasts less time than your average one-night stand!
Especially when those same females start to control him, pretending to be lovers, bouncing around like they run the show—it makes Jupiter want to scream into the empty mouth of his cave!
“Get off me, you crazy…!”
In that sense, the female griffon he encountered in the desert felt pretty special.
Born to the leader of a sizable group, this small griffon was completely oblivious to the world, perhaps even unaware that snakes and scorpions are often poisonous.
If you ask the stone dwarves, she was born clutching a golden hammer.
“Such a boring girl. But strangely attractive.”
Jupiter approached her purely out of curiosity—an excitement in wanting to corrupt the pure and a whimsical hope that maybe, just maybe, he could find some peace hanging out with her.
The female, the leader’s daughter, versus him, an orphan abandoned by his pack. An odd pairing indeed! But Jupiter was a badass who had been toughened up rolling around in the sand, and surprisingly, that ruggedness appealed to the females.
After many silly trials and tribulations, Jupiter finally snagged the peace he had long desired!
“Kicking the talented aside, crushing the pathetic, and eliminating anyone who dares betray me. This nest is mine! Who are these spoon-fed losers to tell me how to run a city? Trying to kick me out? Nonsense!”
Boom!
Jupiter lunged like a lightning bolt at the red dragon before him. Scaled creatures? Absolutely intolerable.
Especially Azidahaka, who is the least tolerable of all.
“Go to hell, and apologize to Juno, you filthy traitor!”
Clang!
With a sharp beak, Jupiter sunk his fangs into the dragon’s neck.
“Let go of me!”
The pain caused the dragon’s red scales to shred away, thrashing wildly, creating a storm in mid-air.
The dragon swung its tail, hurling the griffon clinging to its neck aside.
“Oh, so you really held onto Juno’s betrayal, huh?”
“Yes! She was innocent, never witnessed a drop of bl**d. Do you think you can imagine how it felt to see her being ripped apart by your dragon kin? No way! You cold-hearted, scaly fiend would never understand!”
“Shouldn’t you know that if you crush others, you have to prepare to cry puddles of your own tears? And that wasn’t me! It was the radical dragons while I was out…”
“What? Puddle of tears for those who cause tears? Alright, I’ll return that favor!”
Jupiter flipped and dove straight down, aiming for the white-furred beast like a deadly missile.
“Azidahaka, lose something precious…!”
Jupiter crashed down like a god.
As he arrived, the fire dragon flapped its wings to stop him, but a flock of griffons descended upon the fire dragon, flapping their wings and attacking with beaks and claws.
“Stop! Stop, Jupiter!”
“No, it’s too late!”
In a flashback to the past, the treasure he snatched from Juno, head of the griffon flock—the ability he gained from eating the fruits of the World Tree, Thunderbolt, gave him speed that could outpace anything.
Boom!
Lightning struck the ground, and suddenly everything in his world froze. His speed was such that everything but him stood still.
In this frozen world, only Jupiter enjoyed freedom as his paw came crashing down on the back of the white beast’s head.
Crack!
Electric current crackled outward from his paw, scorching everything nearby.
As time resumed, Jupiter scanned the ground for any sign of the now-charred white fur.
“What a pesky creature. Disappeared without a trace. Be grateful I sent you off without pain.”
Under his paw, blackened ash swirled away in the rain. He thought of his attack as having incinerated the white beast—at least, for a moment.
“Quick, aren’t you? Good thing I was on high alert, or I would’ve been a goner. Fk!”
“……”
Jupiter grimaced at the annoying voice.
Wasn’t that the white beast he thought had burned away, looking straight at him from a distance?
Boom!
Jupiter charged down again like a bolt of lightning toward the white beast. In a world frozen in time, only Jupiter enjoyed god-like freedom.
Hissss!
But in this halted world, when his eyes caught the red gaze of the white beast tracking him, he felt a chill of horror splashing down his spine.
‘How dare this punk…! But there’s no way it can stop this!’
Crack!
His charged front paw fell towards the white beast like lightning.
Last time it was luck that allowed it to escape with a trick. Miracles don’t happen twice.
Flash!
Boom!
The speed was so incredible that it left sound behind.
Following the impact of his paw, Jupiter could hear the thunderclap echoing, feeling the bare ground beneath his claw as he growled fiercely.
“Definitely felt something with my paw… How did it roll away from my attack? What the heck kind of trick was that?”
“As you said, I just rolled away. Your pattern is simple to read. Before a strike, you always announce it with a flash and thunder. But shouldn’t you be more careful behind you?”
“What…!?”
Jupiter was about to turn at the white beast’s taunts when suddenly a massive weight crashed onto his back, sending him rolling into the muddy ground.
“Jupiter! I’ll chew on your neck for a snack!”
Chomp chomp, rip!
Three mouths gnawed at Jupiter’s wings and neck.
The beautifully crafted white armor made by the stone dwarves clanged against the ground, splattering red droplets of bl**d mixed with rainwater.
“You filthy mutt, how dare you bite someone! A dog biting its master gets executed!”
“I’m not just some dog; I’m the very wrath of Pluto!”
Whoosh!
Jupiter felt the jaws of the three-headed beast heating up against his flesh.
It was the fiery breath of dragons, as troublesome and aggravating as their solid scales!
Hating the species of dragon made him despise hybrids like this one, too.
So without holding back, he decided to unleash his thunderbolt at full power.
Whoosh!
Crack!
As the trios of jaws heated up, Jupiter’s body began to glow bright.
Moments later, a massive explosion erupted, leaving the three-headed beast to stagger on the ground, spewing bl**d like a fountain.
“Jupiter! Don’t run away!”
The middle head of Cerberus, blown off by the electric attack, snarled at the sky, looking furious. Jupiter looked down at him, chuckling to himself.
His body shrank, transforming back into human form. As he stretched out a palm, a glowing spear materialized in his hand.
“Now you un-flying beasts can just gawk up at me from that muddy ground. Why do you even bother trying to reach the skies? Just be content rolling like a crayfish or goldfish in the muck!”
Crack!
Jupiter hurled a lightning spear straight through the beast’s torso.
The power of the lightning, as heavy as the rain-soaked world itself, sent the three-headed beast crashing down, its heavy body hitting the ground.
Grrr…
“Thinking you’re special just because I didn’t k*ll you? It’s simply for Pluto’s sake. I don’t want him with you at the end of the underworld!”
As the three-headed beast lay cold and still, Jupiter looked down at it mockingly when someone started clapping.
Turning his head, he saw the white beast—who he had neglected for a moment—grinning wide.
“Congratulations! Looks like the name of Satan is misapplied to the master.”
“……”
Jupiter stared silently at the white beast.
It had the same scent as him—born with nothing but believing in its own strength, rampaging with a cocky swagger. A whole lot like his younger self.
The moment he laid eyes on it, he knew he could never befriend this creature.
Resembling his precious daughter, who was once Juno, the leader’s daughter, nurtured like a greenhouse plant.
This thief-like male, trying to snatch her away from him, as reminiscent of his young self as he could get.
Though he lacked the foresight like the fire dragon, he probably thought that overworking females and running them to d*ath was just a part of the game. Definitely just like him.
Self-loathing and that racial hatred, combined with a defensive stance to protect his position from the youngling, had Jupiter boiling hot in fury.
“You ungrateful brat! It’s all your fault! If you never came here, Cairo would have been peaceful! It would have basked in my glory under my rule forever, and my daughter would have remained my one and only darling!”
“Who are you blaming? You caused all this! And if she’s grown up this much, shouldn’t you let her be independent? Have you been projecting your dead wife’s image onto your daughter? With a bitter dad like you, it’s no wonder it’s a tough case! You should have managed both her and wifey better from the start!”
“AAAHHHHH!”
Jupiter couldn’t hold back his rage from the taunts as he lunged at the white beast with the spear of lightning.
“Kraaaah!”
Meanwhile, the fire dragon, who had beaten the griffons like flies, stomped on Jupiter, pinning him into the mud.
Fire dragon, hybrid beasts, and the ridiculously loud idiot crowd. The Cairo Council. His half-brother Pluto, along with political issues piling up!
Jupiter thought he had way too many enemies.
Maybe since the moment he hatched from that egg and the snakes started eyeing him, there was never anyone on his side.
“d*e! d*e! Just d*e already!”
In the aftermath of the stormy, exhausting battle, the fire dragon stomped him relentlessly into the mud. That all-muddy stickiness clung to him like a bad cold!
Even if the mud shakes off when the rain stops, the tension and anxiety weighing down on his shoulders would follow him like a chronic disease.
‘Juno…’
The face of that small griffon, which had been a refreshing light in his life, sprang to his mind.
Flap, flap.
Was the impact of the fire dragon pressing down on him enough to send him hallucinating? Jupiter felt like he could almost see that face he wanted to glimpse even in dreams vividly before him.
Pweee!
‘Juno…?’
A small griffon, slicing through dark storm clouds and flapping its wings with shining lightning, flew toward him victoriously like the goddess of victory herself!
‘Juno!? No, wait…!’
What he thought was just a mere hallucination was actually happening right in front of him.
The griffon, looking just like his wife, bore a shining jewel in its beak while slicing through the storm clouds.
He never imagined his daughter, hidden away in Olympus, would come to this dangerous place. Maybe he wasn’t totally alone after all, in that moment of realization.
Pwee!
“White One! Bring that ambrosia and let’s get out of here!”
[End Notes] If you enjoyed reading, please tap the recommendation at the top of your mobile screen! With just 2 seconds of your time, you can bring joy to a writer’s day.
—
Hope you enjoyed the comedic twist!
