Chapter 53

“What the heck? Why am I suddenly on fire all by myself?”

I felt a little pressured as I shifted slightly away from Jed, who was staring at me with his sparkling eyes.

Anyway, one thing was certain after today’s fight: there was something in my heart. When Jed hit my face, something moved in my chest and rushed towards my face. It must have buffered the force of his punch. If that hadn’t happened, I might’ve ended up with a nosebleed.

I couldn’t tell what it was. It didn’t seem harmful, so I decided to just leave it alone for now. Besides, I had no idea how to get rid of it even if I wanted to. I gathered the vital energy pulsing from my heart and slowly exhaled. Along with that, the energy that had been coursing through my body returned to my heart.

Wait a second. Isn’t this mana? The thought struck me suddenly. They said mana had disappeared in this world, but that just meant those who could manipulate mana were gone, not that mana itself had vanished. If mana had truly disappeared, ancient magical tools wouldn’t function, and all sorts of items using mana would’ve stopped working too.

Being able to handle mana in an era where even wizards have disappeared is an enormous advantage. I tried to move the energy that had fallen asleep in my heart again, but it wouldn’t budge. It was barely the size of a bean, yet whenever it stirred, it invigorated my body and hinted at transcending human limits. I was pretty sure it was mana.

Of course, there were other possibilities. It could be divine power like Yulia’s, or it could be a completely different type of energy. As I pondered for a moment, I slowly turned my steps. I was headed not to my lodgings, but to the hotel where Lilian was staying.

#

Recently, Lilian had been experiencing confusion. The memories of the ‘original’ Lilian and her memories from the modern world were intertwining, making her slowly lose her sense of self. Was she Lilian, or someone from the modern… what was her name again?

‘What was my name again?’

Realizing she had forgotten her own name, Lilian stared blankly with her mouth agape. It was very rare for someone in a possession story to lose their sense of self. It wasn’t even a reincarnation, and a lot of time hadn’t passed. But now, she couldn’t even remember the name she used in the modern world.

Lilian was afraid. In this way, would she lose herself completely and just live on as ‘Lilian’? Was there even a way for her to return? Would she have to live here for the rest of her life? Her parents? Her siblings? Her friends? How on earth was she supposed to go on living?

Amid the flurry of thoughts, Lilian suddenly recalled her name and let out a small sigh of relief. Yeah, she hadn’t forgotten it yet. But wouldn’t there come a day when she would forget her name and forget herself? The thought crossed her mind.

“Young Lady.”

“…Catherine? When did you arrive?”

“Just now.”

The moment I saw Catherine’s face, a flood of memories rushed in. Memories of saving Catherine when we were kids, all the times spent together. And amidst that torrent of memories, Lilian began to lose herself again. Just a moment ago, her name had come to mind clearly, but now she had forgotten it again, finally understanding why this was happening to her.

So, the original ‘Lilian’ was using Catherine as a lifeboat to restore her self-identity. But why? Hadn’t ‘Lilian’ already vanished? And why was this happening now? Lilian couldn’t comprehend it.

“Young Lady, is something wrong? Your complexion is….”

“J-just a moment. Yeah. I’m going to lie down for a bit. I’m tired.”

“…I will prepare a tea that helps with sleep.”

“Yeah. Thanks.”

Though my rational mind screamed that I should chase Catherine away, Lilian didn’t want to. It was then that she realized her feelings. She liked Catherine. And ‘Lilian’ did too.

The moment she acknowledged that feeling, the flood of memories that had come rushing in began to halt. Thanks to that, Lilian was able to regain her sense of self. Only then did she understand what ‘Lilian’ wanted to say.

Lilian’s eyes sparkled as if she had spotted prey. But Catherine, unaware of this, simply continued to sip her tea. Alright, ‘Lilian’. It’s okay since you wanted this too, right?

“Catherine, enough with the tea, come here.”

“…Understood.”

With the steam still rising from the teacup, Catherine approached Lilian. Then Lilian pulled Catherine’s hand towards her.

“Young Lady?”

“It’s a bit chilly. Could you warm me up with your body?”

Catherine tilted her head slightly with a blank expression, but eventually cuddled into Lilian’s embrace. Of course, since Catherine was slightly larger than Lilian, she didn’t fit perfectly.

But even that seemed satisfying, as a comforting sensation spread from within. What should I say? It felt like I was on some sort of drug. Though I’ve never done drugs, so I wouldn’t know what it really felt like.

‘Well, I guess I like it too.’

How many chances would I get to indulge in the luxury of holding someone as beautiful as Catherine? Even though it’s a same-sex thing, I really liked Catherine.

‘I don’t think I was a homosexual in the modern world… Hmm, it’s all because Catherine is just too pretty.’

Catherine had so many charms that even other women would find her irresistible. Even when she worked at the House of Portus, there were plenty of women who glanced her way. Even if one wasn’t a homosexual, there would still be a desire to hold someone like Catherine at least once, both sexually and literally.

“Young Lady, your face is red. Are you sick….”

“…Shut up.”

“….”

As I tightened my arm around Catherine, she squirmed a bit. But soon seeming to give up, she relaxed and just settled into my embrace as she wished. I felt the urge to touch her all over, but I knew if I did that, she’d run away, so I kept my hands gently where they were. Catherine was still staring at me blankly.

“…Wait a second, just hold still for a bit.”

“Yes.”

With Catherine nodding in response, Lilian slowly began to drift off to sleep.

#

What’s going on? I think this is the first time Lilian has been so clingy. Of course, if she’s a young lady, it was something she might do regularly.

The young lady always cuddled up to me like this at night when she couldn’t sleep. To be honest, at first I was embarrassed to share a bed with a woman, but every time, seeing the sad expression on her face and her sulking all day made it impossible for me to refuse.

Well, since it didn’t seem like she had any ulterior motives, it was fine. After all, there was no reason for her to have any feelings for me. Who would hold a total loner like me with no charisma out of any interest? She probably just needed the warmth.

By the way, I came to ask Yulia about this power, but I can’t see her anywhere. I thought she was with Yulia. I even considered getting up from Lilian’s embrace to search for her, but there would be plenty of other days to ask, so I decided to stay like this for now.

When would I ever get the luxury of being close to a beauty like Lilian again? Ever since the original young lady disappeared and ‘Lilian’ took her place, she hadn’t once called me into her bedroom.

Speaking of being called to a bedroom, the phrasing sounds off. Called to bed? No, that sounds weird too. As I struggled over that thought for a moment, I pushed those distractions away and looked at Lilian’s face. No matter how I looked at it, she had a perfectly flawless appearance. With porcelain-like white skin and delicate features, it felt like gazing upon a work of art crafted with care by the gods.

I let out a small sigh. The thought of needing to return the young lady remained, but I couldn’t help but feel pity every time I looked at Lilian. It was as if someone who had been living well in the modern world suddenly fell into the medieval times, and in someone else’s body at that.

I finally had no choice but to accept it as a reincarnation. My past life ended in flames, and I was reborn into this new woman’s body. The fact that I was in a woman’s body was a bit troubling, but reincarnation doesn’t come with a gender, so I ultimately had to accept it.

By the way, since I was reincarnated as a human, I must have done something virtuous in my previous life. After all, I would’ve accumulated virtue just by being devoted to my profession.

As I recalled the faint memories of my past life, I slowly studied Lilian’s face and gradually drifted off to sleep.

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