Chapter 385

Chapter 385: Not Now, Nor Ever

Confronted with the young lady’s questioning.

Xu Ming doesn’t know how to respond.

It seems like both are present, yet neither quite fit.

Do I not have a single ounce of affection for Zhu Cici?

That is definitely impossible.

When an extremely beautiful girl says she likes you, claiming you’re unmoved is absolutely a lie.

And am I merely keeping my distance because I fear ruining her cherished childhood impression?

Not exactly.

Perhaps more so, it’s that I don’t want to deceive her innocent feelings.

Maybe this is just my selfishness; I don’t want the good impression I left on her as a child to shatter.

I might be driven by vanity inside, unwilling for her to feel disappointed in who I am now.

Seeing Xu Ming’s hesitating and conflicted expression, Zhu Cici’s lips curl up with a playful “I win” charm akin to a little girl: “Why won’t Master Xu reply to Cici?”

Xu Ming sighs again, his tone laced with helplessness: “Miss Cici, let me be honest. I already have two women I care about. Yes, Miss Cici, you heard correctly—two, not just one.”

Listening to Xu Ming’s words, Zhu Cici tightly presses her thin lips, feeling a pang of jealousy.

Xu Ming having feelings for another woman was something Zhu Cici had anticipated.

Zhu Cici also knows that even if this were to happen, she has no right to blame Xu Ming.

After all, how can promises made in childhood truly count?

Moreover, for all these years, she never went to see Xu Ming.

Isn’t it only natural for Xu Ming to have feelings for others?

But despite being prepared mentally, hearing Xu Ming say these things still makes Zhu Cici’s heart ache.

After confessing to Zhu Cici, Xu Ming himself feels somewhat like a playboy, but he couldn’t say otherwise. He genuinely doesn’t want to deceive this pure-hearted girl.

This isn’t because Xu Ming fears retaliation from the Qi Kingdom or the White Deer Academy after deceiving this young lady.

It’s purely because Xu Ming believes this girl should not be deceived by anyone.

Such a talented and accomplished woman deserves what she considers to be sincere affection.

“Who are those two women?” Zhu Cici asks, her tone tinged with a hint of reluctance.

Even though Zhu Cici vaguely guesses the names of these two people, she still wants to hear Xu Ming say them aloud.

“One is my childhood sweetheart, and also the Holy Maiden of the Heavenly Profound Gate today—Qingwan. We were born together and spent our childhoods side by side. Even when she went to the Celestial Selection Sect, I could never forget her.

“The other is the Princess of the Wu Kingdom—Wu Yihan. Although I declined the Emperor of Wu’s arranged marriage, it was merely because I didn’t want to be bound by the Wu Kingdom. There are many things I need to accomplish. In truth, I do have feelings for Yihan.”

At this point, whatever Zhu Cici wishes to know, Xu Ming will tell her, aiming for transparency.

Xu Ming also believes that once Zhu Cici realizes the person she’s been pining for is a two-timing scoundrel, she’ll eventually give up on him.

Xu Ming indeed doesn’t want to be so direct, as it would surely hurt her innocent memories.

But Cici appears to be a rather stubborn young lady.

If I don’t say this, she might remain stuck for who-knows-how-long, wasting countless time. Better to endure short-term pain than prolonged suffering. It’s better to lay everything out.

She might just feel down for a while, but then she’ll embrace a new life. After all, Zhu Cici hasn’t interacted much with me, nor is she deeply entangled. It shouldn’t be hard for her to move on.

After Xu Ming finishes speaking, silence falls between them once again.

Zhu Cici looks down, as if pondering something, while Xu Ming stands before her, quietly waiting for her response.

After a long pause, Zhu Cici lifts her head and takes a deep breath: “I understand.”

Xu Ming nods: “It’s good that Miss Cici understands. However, if Miss Cici doesn’t mind, perhaps we can become friends.”

Becoming lovers often makes becoming friends difficult.

Even if they do become friends, they’ll likely keep their distance intentionally.

This has been a timeless law.

The reason Xu Ming said this is merely to provide both sides a way out, avoiding making their relationship too strained.

As for whether they can truly become friends, that remains uncertain.

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“So, how does Master Xu view me?” Zhu Cici asks Xu Ming, not following up on the suggestion of “becoming friends.” “I just want to ask, does Master Xu really not have even a bit of fondness for me?”

“…” Xu Ming shakes his head. “Miss Zhu’s beauty is unmatched, rare in this world, and she is well-read and elegant in demeanor. Any normal man in the world, upon seeing Miss Zhu, would naturally develop some degree of fondness.”

Zhu Cici smiles faintly: “So Master Xu is included.”

Xu Ming hesitates momentarily, then nods: “Yes, I am too. But I also belong to the type who lusts at first sight.”

Zhu Cici lightly laughs, covering her face: “Master Xu speaks so directly.”

“Because I cannot deceive the young lady,” Xu Ming looks into the beautiful dark eyes of the maiden. “So Miss Cici, I am such a fickle person and truly do not deserve your affection.”

Zhu Cici shakes her head: “Whether someone deserves my affection or not, I will judge accordingly.”

Zhu Cici: “However, I’m glad that Master Xu told me everything.”

Xu Ming: “Miss Cici is too kind.”

“Do I have one more question? I wonder if Master Xu can answer it?” Zhu Cici’s long lashes flutter gently.

Xu Ming bows respectfully: “Please speak, Miss Cici, as long as it’s something I can answer.”

Zhu Cici’s dark eyes lock onto Xu Ming’s, as if any change in his gaze cannot escape the young lady’s keen observation: “Did Master Xu like me when we were children?”

“…” Xu Ming’s mouth opens slightly, closes slowly, then opens again hesitantly: “Back then, yes, I did like you.”

“That’s enough.”

Zhu Cici steps back, smiling at Xu Ming.

“Xu Ming, you claim to have changed, but in my eyes, you’re still the same as before, always thinking of others.”

“So… let me respond to your earlier proposal.”

A sea breeze blows gently, swaying the girl’s skirt and hair. She holds her long hair beside her cheeks, her gentle smile resembling the blooming of pear blossoms in an ink painting:

“I will not become friends with you, Xu Ming—not now, nor ever.”