Hope (2)
Chapter 316
Ray had been lost in deep thought more often lately.
These thoughts were usually meaningless musings.
Looking back at the past, most of them were fantasies about how he could have achieved better outcomes.
Revisiting his mistakes and poor decisions one by one, time passed quickly while he continued to ponder.
However, no matter how hard he thought, he couldn’t clearly envision a perfect happy ending.
Until now, Ray had invested his entire lifespan into issues he believed he absolutely had to resolve. Even upon reflection, he rarely found fault with those judgments.
Though his younger sister’s presence was bothersome, when he recalled the genuine smile Bella had shown to Lea, Ray couldn’t help but smile as well.
Ray had done his best given the circumstances and abilities bestowed upon him.
Still, maintaining an awkward distance from the children he cared for while wandering aimlessly was undoubtedly Ray’s clear mistake.
Most of all, Ray deeply regretted not trusting Luna earlier.
Luna possessed extraordinary talent. Ray feared she might change in the wrong direction.
As children grow, their personalities and values continue to evolve. Ray lacked confidence in his ability to control these changes.
Therefore, he secretly worried that Luna might go astray, unsure how to correct her if she did.
This fear-based wariness significantly influenced Ray’s failure to open up fully to Luna.
However, over time, Luna always remained in the same place, respecting and staying loyal to Ray.
She patiently waited without urging for the day Ray would completely open up and share his hidden stories.
When Ray finally realized Luna’s consideration…
He stupidly hesitated once again. Afraid of hurting her and overly confident in bearing burdens alone, he acted so foolishly.
If Ray had honestly leaned on Luna sooner… Yes, the story’s conclusion might not have changed greatly.
But he could have reduced the depth of the wound etched in Luna’s heart.
He could have left warmer memories for Luna, who waited endlessly before eventually finding answers and reaching out her hand.
Ray regretted this immensely every time he reflected on the past.
And now, at this very moment, Luna was showing a sentiment close to hatred toward Ray for the first time in her life.
“Ray.”
“…”
“Answer me.”
A quiet passion flowed from Luna’s silver eyes.
Seeing this unfamiliar side of her, Ray felt not fear, but sorrow.
All Luna had ever earnestly wished for from Ray was not grand at all.
“Just stay by my side. Stay close, healthy, and happy.” That’s all she wanted.
With that simple, modest hope, Luna consistently stayed by Ray’s side.
Yet even at the end of his life, Ray betrayed Luna’s wish.
Reflecting on his sins, Ray painfully opened his mouth.
Now, all Ray could offer was an honest confession.
“In the illusions of the future… I met you there.”
“…”
“I met you suffering alone for decades, tormented by loneliness while still bound to my requests. I… didn’t want you to endure such suffering.”
“That’s not what I wanted.”
Luna asserted, causing Ray’s hand to tremble.
As if already seeing through what her future self had pleaded to Ray, Luna pressed him.
“What did the me you met beg of you?”
“…To do nothing, just to stay by our side.”
“Is that all?”
“…To trust and wait for me.”
“But.”
“…”
“But why?”
“…”
“Ray, answer me.”
“…”
“Answer me!”
“…”
Luna’s voice cracked more and more as Ray remained silent.
Finally, Luna’s voice turned rough as she revealed her frustration with a distorted expression.
“So why exactly are you doing this?”
“I…”
“You…!”
Unable to contain her agitation, Luna’s eyes reddened.
“If you could stay by my side even for one more day, I could wander through hell itself. You asked to stay close, to wait for you…!”
If only there had been ten more years to struggle, Luna would have surely found a way to restore Ray’s body.
If that seemed impossible, perhaps placing Ray to sleep within a paused space-time until ten years later would have worked.
If Ray desired against such extreme measures, though it would be painful, she would have respected his wishes.
Yet Ray wouldn’t allocate even those ten years to Luna.
Facing Ray, who so easily cut short his remaining life, Luna repeatedly pleaded.
Whether five years, three years, or even one year… Just spend this remaining time by my side, creating peaceful and happy memories.
So that after you leave, we can cherish those warm days a little longer.
Please stop fighting and rest now.
However, Ray ignored Luna’s wishes until the very end.
Ray, who had spent his whole life wrapped in unknown anxieties, finally smiled upon finding his place of death, leaving Luna’s hopes ultimately betrayed.
Luna regretted the past.
If only she hadn’t obeyed Ray, if only she had forced him to distrust her…
Even if their relationship had grown distant, you wouldn’t have let go of life so easily, she regretted later.
Recalling Ray’s tiresome lies, Luna gripped her chest.
“Now… please stop. Don’t make me hate you. Let me remain as you hoped.”
Luna wanted to berate and curse Ray further.
She wanted to threaten that she wouldn’t be confined by the image of a good mage if he left like this.
However, unable to do so, Luna looked at Ray, whose eyes reddened as his lips moved.
“Luna, you said I was your priority…”
Ray spoke cruel words through his trembling voice.
“I… can’t do that.”
Ray directly witnessed how the bleakness of the red sky could devastate human spirit.
Thus, Ray believed restoring the blue sky was more important than living a few more years.
There were certainly many who would mourn Ray’s death.
However, as time passes, memories and emotions inevitably wear down and dilute.
The wounds of the heart could slowly heal under the peaceful blue sky through new relationships.
Ray firmly believed this, but he belatedly realized it didn’t apply to Luna.
Forgetting wasn’t a blessing she possessed.
Seeing how Luna could vividly recall memories from age eight, Ray recognized his mistake.
Without the blessing of forgetting, Luna would forever live facing Ray’s death.
To remember some warmth to occasionally push away that terrible pain, Luna wished for Ray to stay by her side as long as possible.
However, Ray couldn’t turn a blind eye to everyone else’s suffering for Luna’s sake alone.
“I can’t… prioritize only you.”
Transmitting his selfish and cruel obstinacy to Luna, Ray finally fell to his knees.
Ray could no longer meet Luna’s eyes.
Feeling nausea rising, he panted and bowed his head.
“Luna, I’m sorry. I… I was wrong. I made too many mistakes.”
He knows this is an irreversible error.
Still, Ray pleaded with Luna for the sake of everyone who must continue living after his departure.
“Please forgive me… someone like me.”
“…”
Luna stared at Ray kneeling and begging for forgiveness for a long time.
Ray, with his head bowed, couldn’t see what expression she wore as she looked down at him.
Only feeling indescribable self-loathing and disdain, Ray clenched his jaw and trembled his shoulders.
After observing his pitiful and contemptible figure for some more time, Luna… finally spoke.
“Stand up.”
Luna’s voice was as calm as usual.
Ray immediately rose as Luna instructed.
Luna looked at Ray’s reddened eyes and forced an artificial smile.
“Alright. I’ll do things your way. I’ll cooperate with you. I’ll watch you until your dying moments.”
Luna extended her pinky finger toward Ray with an apparently bright expression.
“Promise me one thing. Swear to definitely keep this last promise. Then I’ll help you.”
Luna didn’t reveal the content of the promise first.
Still, Ray nodded resolutely.
“I swear.”
“Then promise. When everything is over and it’s time for you to leave, promise not to ask anything of me. Make that promise.”
“…”
It was a promise that was too easy, simple, yet enigmatic.
Ray didn’t immediately understand why Luna requested such a promise.
Not asking? Not asking to protect Lea or Bella, or other acquaintances?
Or not trying to control me with wordplay like being a “good mage”?
“…”
No. It wasn’t that.
Ray looked into Luna’s silver eyes again.
The intention behind the promise Luna demanded was much more… clear and harsh.
The stories people tell loved ones when facing death are predictable.
Thank you for everything. Don’t grieve too much. Be happy. Live a long and healthy life.
Luna was telling him not to leave her such requests.
Not to bind her.
From what…?
Yes, from a world without you.
“…”
Luna was still smiling beautifully at Ray.
The color of the sky wasn’t important to her. Whether the sky turned blue or red…
In her eyes, which knew no forgetting, the world without Ray would forever remain gray.
To not suffer too long in that bleak gray hell and be able to leave on her own…
“Promise not to ask anything, will you?”
“…”
Ray stared into Luna’s eyes with bloodshot pupils.
No. Absolutely not. There’s no way I can keep such a promise.
Ray wanted to shout that right away, but felt as if someone was choking him, hearing only the sound of air escaping inside.
He had already committed too great a sin against Luna.
Ray could no longer force his selfishness onto her.
“…”
Ray finally raised his pinky finger to follow Luna.
Ray’s finger shaking violently as it reached toward Luna’s extended finger kept missing.
Luna grabbed and pulled Ray’s finger to lock it with hers.
When their fingers tightly intertwined…
Tears that had gathered in Ray’s swollen eyes streamed down his cheeks endlessly.
“Luna…”
“…”
“I… I wanted to protect you.”
Ray couldn’t hold back his sobbing.
Toward Ray who couldn’t suppress his crying, Luna finally erased her false smile and gently smiled.
Did the man who always pretended to be strong and obsessed with keeping distance ever shed tears for anyone else like this?
Satisfied that he cried for her, Luna shed tears together with Ray.
“I know.”
She had known this well since their first meeting.
As Luna pulled Ray’s cheek closer, she confessed.
“My life’s color has always been you.”
Their lips touched.
Their first kiss tasted salty. Very, very salty.
