The dawn sunlight began to dimly filter over the bed.
And my eyes, eagerly welcoming it, were already wide-open.
I hadn’t slept a wink all night. I could have slept and was moderately tired, but I didn’t.
It wasn’t a problem with the medication. It was purely my issue. I propped myself up on the bed, sat at the edge, and stroked my chin as I fell into thought.
“I need a transition.”
Let’s think about it this way.
I am in the process of childbirth.
Childbirth is accompanied by pain. At the end of it, a precious life may be born, or if luck and circumstances do not favor it, unfortunate events may occur.
Things like the mother losing her life, the fetus dying, or the umbilical cord strangling and negatively affecting growth…
What I want to say is, in other words…
“You don’t look well, Lucio.”
The crux of the matter is that for a better tomorrow, one must endure pain in the present.
If enduring pain is indispensable, is it misfortune? Or is it similar to a smack for feeling the sweetness that follows the bitterness more intensely?
Regardless of the family situation, I ultimately have to face reality. Hypotheticals about the future don’t matter.
“It’s ironic that the drugs I took to forget about myself ended up allowing me to hear my voice now. Isn’t it puzzling?”
Because I am still tormented by illusions.
“It’s pathetic, you know. You’re so delicate, take care of others well, and consideration for others is ingrained in your body… that you have to endure this kind of pain.”
“…….”
“So, let’s get comfortable.”
When I came to, my hand was holding a sharp cutter knife.
– Swish—!
The blade slid out, making a crisp sound as it followed my finger movements.
This thin object, with its delicate appearance, hides the weight of a lethal blade… does it know the weight of life?
Perhaps it does not.
If it did, it wouldn’t make such frivolous sounds.
I tossed the cutter knife onto the nightstand beside the bed. The rough motion caused it to glide across the top before it collided with a thick Bible against the wall, stopping its movement.
“Ah… in the end, you compromised again.”
“…….”
“Don’t be too disappointed. There will be plenty of opportunities.”
I opened the drawer of the nightstand. Inside, where light barely penetrated, the pill bottle I had hidden to the best of my ability revealed itself.
“Go ahead and try to escape. But if I might offer a word of advice… how would that change anything?”
It would change. You aren’t reality.
I immediately opened the lid of the pill bottle and took out a colorless, odorless pill, swallowing it down. The hard foreign sensation was felt deep in my throat.
I didn’t need water to wash it down. My desperation and impatience acted as a lubricant, gently moistening the inside of my throat.
It wasn’t wise to hastily swallow the pill, but I didn’t care about that.
“Haah….”
Letting out a deep sigh, I slowly closed my eyes. The thoughts that had been swirling chaotically in my mind just moments ago had completely vanished.
Slowly, very slowly, I sank into the depths of my inner self.
Unlike before when I was drying out, the inside of me now filled with vague beliefs became unfathomable.
So, I went deeper.
Deeper.
Deeper still.
And as I delved even deeper…
“…Cough!”
At the end of it, a faint result emerged.
I wiped the blood trickling down my lips with my sleeve and dashed straight to the bathroom.
– Splash—!
As I filled the sink with water, I spat out the pooled blood, saliva, and clots of dead blood that had gathered in my mouth. The thick, dark red clots fell into the sink.
After staring at it for a while, I washed the blood off my lips and hands with running water and began preparing to go out.
I didn’t have to go to the professor’s office today, but it was a duty day.
“Professor Scarlet Underwood.”
The mysterious female professor in charge of the third-year destruction magic department whom I had encountered several times during the Grade-by-Grade Duel. It was the day I had to work in pair with her.
It was an extremely awkward situation, with an unusual anxiety about what might happen.
I hoped nothing would occur today. I wished not to hear any more voices or have any strange thoughts.
As I piled up various hopes, I found myself standing in the living room of the staff dormitory, ready to go out.
“…Shall I go.”
After standing absentmindedly in the living room for a moment, I left the dormitory.
“Cough!”
I made a small coughing sound that I hadn’t released until then.
*
A rich aroma of coffee, something I hadn’t experienced before, wafted through the faculty office.
If I could measure the concentration of the coffee aroma floating in the air, it probably wouldn’t be less than 80 percent. It was that kind of atmosphere.
“Hmm… then I’ll just have to check the dormitory area in the early morning.”
“Yes. After that, check the restaurant area to see if there are any gas leaks….”
“Got it. Are there any unusual matters I should know during the patrol?”
“Umm… no. That’s all.”
And there, sitting amidst the faculty office, was a mysterious female professor receiving handover from the professors who had worked the previous duty.
“Then, we’ll take our leave now.”
“Thank you for your hard work, Professor.”
“Yes. You’ve had a tough time.”
It was Professor Scarlet Underwood, a prominent professor at the Caldera Imperial Academy responsible for the third-year destruction magic department.
As the two professors who had worked the previous duty passed by me and left the faculty office, Professor Underwood’s gaze, which had been following their movements, naturally turned toward me.
“Oh, you’ve arrived, Professor Antorelli. Good morning.”
Professor Underwood waved at me with her signature alluring smile. Sophia Sub-priest and I slowly walked into the faculty office and bowed our heads.
“…Yes. Good morning.”
“You’ve come too, Sub-priest. Good morning, Sub-priest.”
“J-J, good morning….”
Sophia Sub-priest looked noticeably timid, likely due to the unique domineering gaze emanating from Professor Underwood.
Having been a professor at the academy for a long time, Professor Underwood’s experience made her presence overwhelmingly felt every time I encountered her.
Though she didn’t appear old, she certainly had an aura that couldn’t be ignored… it was that kind of vibe.
“Sub-priest. Relax. You’re too stiff.”
“Ah, well….”
“It’s okay. It’s all right… here, would you like some candy?”
Professor Underwood reached out her hand. On it lay candy wrapped in what appeared to be red strawberry-flavored wrappers.
Sophia Sub-priest, who couldn’t resist sweets, quickly relaxed her face at the sight of the candy and dashed over for it.
“Can I really have this?”
“Yes, of course. Just make sure to throw the wrappers in the trash, okay?”
“Yes! Thank you!”
After taking the candy from Professor Underwood’s hand, Sophia Sub-priest unwrapped it and popped it into her mouth, beaming with happiness. The sweet taste of the candy spreading in her mouth brought forth an adorable expression.
Seeing Professor Underwood look at Sophia Sub-priest with eyes as if she were watching a child made me feel, for some reason, that she seemed to look older. Despite only appearing to be in her late twenties at best, why was that?
Upon reflection, considering she was a classmate of Professor Armstrong, whose beard was already showing gray… Professor Underwood must actually be quite aged, contrary to appearances…
“Professor Antorelli, what are you thinking so deeply about?”
When I lifted my head at the voice that seemed to have thorns, Professor Underwood was looking at me, smiling.
Upon facing it, I inexplicably felt a chill run down my spine, making me shudder.
“…It’s nothing. Just some pointless thoughts.”
“Right? Pointless thoughts.”
“…Yes. Seems like it.”
“Okay. I like that. Sit over here.”
Is this woman using mind-reading magic or something?
While harboring such trivial thoughts, I sat in the chair Professor Underwood pulled out for me. Coincidentally, it was the seat right next to her.
“Is there anything regarding the handover?”
“Yes. There’s nothing special, but it seems I’ll have to patrol to the dormitory today. The warden is unwell and has taken sick leave.”
“Hmm… understood. I’ll write the duty log.”
“No. I’ve already written it up. You don’t have to get up.”
“…Really?”
An awkward silence settled. Even among the academy professors, a basic hierarchy existed, with a vertical culture that valued treating the other more favorably based on seniority.
Thus, I thought writing the duty log was my responsibility, but since Professor Underwood said she had already taken care of it, I had nothing to say.
Reluctantly, I sat back down in the chair from which I had partially risen. Professor Underwood had already taken out her glasses from somewhere and was reading a thick book that she had pulled from somewhere.
“You can handle your personal work too, Professor Antorelli. There’s really nothing to do during the daylight hours anyway.”
“Understood.”
In the end, even after coming here, my tasks were set. I took out a bundle of paper I had prepared from my bag.
Now that we had entered the summer vacation season in earnest, I was busy creating exam questions for the first-year A-class students for the second semester.
If I didn’t get it done now, it was clear it would become troublesome later. The academy festival was also taking place in October, making it all the more pressing.
– Rustle. Rustle.
Thus, a quiet white noise filled the faculty office. Professor Underwood flipped through pages while sipping coffee, I formulated exam questions at the work desk next to her, and Sophia Sub-priest, seated right beside me, assisted me with research…
A peaceful time continued on, with only the sound of Sophia Sub-priest sucking on candy being the audible disturbance.
And then it happened.
“Interesting.”
“…Yes?”
I turned to the direction of the voice. It was where Professor Underwood was seated, directly next to me.
As I glanced over, caught off guard, Professor Underwood took off her glasses and looked at me. Her expression was full of questions.
“What’s wrong?”
“No, just now….”
“Yes?”
“…….”
Honestly, it was a rather uncomfortable situation.
I hadn’t expected to start hearing voices in front of these two people. Usually, after taking the medication, I would be fine for several hours…
“The exam is unusual. Lucio.”
It seemed the interval for hearing them had shortened. I nodded at Professor Underwood, who was looking at me with a confused expression, and replied.
“…It’s nothing. I must have been mistaken.”
“What? What a dull conclusion.”
“I’m sorry.”
“No, well… it’s okay.”
Professor Underwood’s gaze turned back to her book. I too shifted my focus back to the exam question papers I was preparing.
“It’s creative. Even if I were to return to teaching, I probably wouldn’t have come up with such an exam. Excellent, Lucio.”
“…….”
“Say something back. I’m giving you a compliment here, you know?”
Honestly, I felt an intense impulse to take my medication right away. But I couldn’t take it now.
Should I run to the bathroom? Wouldn’t that be weird? But there was no other way.
“I’m complimenting you. I’m complimenting you.”
“…….”
“I’m praising you, who has completely forgotten about me.”
I can’t. I need to go to the bathroom. I need to…
“I’ll come visit again later, Lucio.”
In an instant, the voices vanished. And, in tandem, the familiar nausea and taste of iron returned.
“…Cough!”
– Drip—.
As blood spilled onto the exam question paper, I thought to myself.
‘This is….’
Really, it’s a serious mess.
