The exam is over.
To be precise, Professor Antorelli’s first-year theology integrated exam has completely come to an end.
Professor Antorelli was no longer on the podium. After Sofia Sub-priest collected all the exam papers, she handed them over to Professor Antorelli, who abruptly left the examination hall.
The primordial flower he left behind on the desk slowly scattered into the air, simply because the subject of divine power, Professor Antorelli, had vanished.
As I stared blankly at it, a feeling of loneliness and solitude washed over me.
When I thought of it as the ‘life’ of Professor Antorelli, the feeling became even more profound.
Before long, the primordial flower, which had been faintly glowing on the desk, completely disappeared, dispersing golden particles as it melted into the air.
After the primordial flower disappeared, the students who had remained in the small auditorium began to stir.
“…What was that?”
“This is…. what I experienced today, the exam…”
“…Let’s go.”
Unlike when they entered the small auditorium in noisy clusters, the students quietly packed their belongings and left the examination hall.
With 320 students exiting at once and no one to guide them, it was expected that chaos would ensue if all of these students tried to exit through the small auditorium’s narrow entrance.
However, the students patiently waited their turn.
While the movements were not so orderly as to be described as regimented, at least no one strayed from the line or cut in line.
They merely waited for their turn to come. Waiting for the student in front to go first.
Thus, the orderly exit of a massive group of 320 students from the small auditorium was yet another spectacle.
“……”
Professor Marcello blankly observed this spectacle and, realizing that the other professors who had been nearby were gathering their belongings to join the queue, began to gather his own pen and bag from the desk.
After collecting his belongings, Professor Marcello joined the line leaving the small auditorium and had no choice but to partake in the silence of that still line.
‘…The exam.’
Professor Antorelli’s exam. The more Professor Marcello contemplated it, the more thoughts filled his mind.
Professor Marcello reviewed Professor Antorelli’s questions from the beginning. He was convinced that the more he recalled his questions, the more he could gain.
‘The first question is, who am I.’
The intent of that question was to ask for a clear manifestation of my true self as revealed by inner reason. Professor Marcello examined whether there was another intent mixed within the question once more.
‘What was my answer?’
As a servant existing here by the grace of the Lord, Domenico. That Marcello was here.
Recalling the answer he had written, Professor Marcello couldn’t help but admire it.
‘I fully revealed my reason… with not even a hint of concealment, perfectly.’
What would it feel like to be stripped bare in front of so many people, with not a piece of clothing left on? Professor Marcello felt relieved that only Professor Antorelli would inspect his exam paper.
‘There was no other intent hidden in the first question aside from that.’
Thinking this, Professor Marcello glanced at the line exiting the small auditorium. The queue stretched out in front of him and showed no signs of diminishing.
Thanks to this, Professor Marcello found himself able to immerse his thoughts more leisurely, which was a good thing.
‘The second question is, the goodness that is determined by fully revealed reason.’
Who is your neighbor?
This question was one that could not be answered unless one was aware of their own criteria for ‘goodness.’ It was undoubtedly a difficult question, but in the context of having completely revealed oneself in the first question, it was not so difficult.
Professor Marcello, recalling the name of the teacher who had taught him in his childhood, wrote it down. The teacher that Marcello remembered was always someone who cared for others, generously offered love, and could pray entirely for the sake of others.
‘There wouldn’t be any hidden intent… No, there’s no room for another intent to intrude.’
Indeed, the criteria that define goodness differ slightly according to each reason and are constantly evolving; thus, there was no space for another intent to intrude among the irregularities of mutable reason.
Just like the students lined up before Professor Marcello.
‘The third question, the third answer.’
Are you someone’s neighbor? Professor Marcello’s answer to this was, ‘No.’
He pondered whether there was a hidden intent behind that as well. Although the exam paper had already departed from his sight, when he closed his eyes, the third question inscribed on the exam paper appeared very vividly.
[You, son of man. Hate the scales that provoke and deceive, but the just weights that do not lie are pleasing to the Lord.]
The verse from the Bible that stated if one stays away from lies, the Lord will be pleased was given as part of the prompt.
[Are you someone’s neighbor?]
Using the criteria for ‘neighbor’ defined in the second question, the question demanded the fidelity of myself.
For some reason, Professor Marcello found himself thinking a lot about this question. It was too vast to simply be regarded as a demand for proof of fidelity.
Loyalty, love, good deeds, virtuous character, purity…
And, the honesty that Professor Marcello had written down as his answer. The virtues that constituted fidelity were far too numerous.
‘Was it asking whether I possessed these virtues of loyalty, love, good deeds, and… umm…? But, if so…’
Regardless, the third primordial flower bloomed through Professor Marcello’s hand. Casting a beautiful golden light over the exam paper.
‘Then, does that mean multiple correct answers are acknowledged?’
It probably does. Before taking the exam, Professor Antorelli clearly proclaimed, “The answers submitted by those who solve the exam differ for each individual.”
Recalling that statement, Professor Marcello thought.
‘If I could go back to the time before I took the exam… would I write the same answers?’
Imagine ten professors Marcello each taking the exam.
In total, there are ten instances of taking the exam. During these ten attempts, would the ten professors Marcello write down the same answers?
‘I can’t say for sure.’
Considering such a hypothesis, even Professor Marcello struggled to reach a conclusion due to the richness of diversity. There would be various variables, and depending on the thoughts that arise at the moment and the inner self laid bare, the answers could vary.
‘Loyalty is an important virtue of fidelity. Not to mention love, good deeds, and virtuous character… Unblemished inner purity and honesty are complementary virtues, so perhaps among these…’
……
…….
…a flash.
It brushed through his mind.
A realization that tingled along his spine, like lightning.
“Words, not even…”
Came abruptly to Professor Marcello.
‘…Inner purity and the honesty necessary to pursue it. It’s not just honesty that’s required.’
What is necessary to maintain inner purity is…
…The fourth question, and Marcello’s fourth answer.
[To be patient.]
Professor Marcello hurriedly glanced around.
[To be gentle.]
The line of students exiting the small auditorium had now diminished by nearly half. When he anxiously checked his wristwatch, it was already noon.
[Not to be envious.]
Professor Marcello quickly broke away from the line. As he forced his way through the students leaving the small auditorium, those who had been pushed aside frowned at him.
[Not to boast.]
“I’m sorry! Everyone! Just passing through for a moment! I have something urgent to take care of!”
Hearing Professor Marcello’s urgent words, the students who had frowned momentarily softened their expressions. There remained a trace of displeasure, but there was a look of justification that said, ‘Since it’s the professor.’
[Not to be proud.]
‘Quickly…. Quickly…!’
Time was running out for Professor Marcello.
He could see him tomorrow, or the day after, and as long as Professor Antorelli does not suddenly resign from his teaching position, he could meet him at any time.
But thinking about whether he could fully maintain this realization… No, he could not.
[Not to think hatefully.]
Why did I only realize now? Why did it take so long to understand?
Professor Antorelli’s theology exam. The questions…
[To become good.]
Even though the form may change, the essence remains unchanged.
All of them indicate one place.
That is what Professor Marcello came to realize.
“Gasp…! Haah…!”
Professor Marcello ran. He ran, expelling rough breaths.
He was searching for Professor Antorelli, who had long since left the small auditorium.
*
“Gasp…! Hah…!”
Professor Marcello heaved heavy breaths, his shoulders rising and falling. In his tired gaze, the slowly walking backs of Professor Antorelli and Sofia Sub-priest were reflected.
“Professor Antorelli!”
Professor Marcello fervently called his name. Upon hearing that desperate voice, Professor Antorelli turned around and looked at Marcello.
“Before you go, please just answer this one thing!”
The noon sunlight was mischievous, allowing only a small amount of light to shine on the floor of the corridor where Professor Antorelli stood. Professor Antorelli’s face was shrouded in deep shadow.
Approaching slowly towards Professor Antorelli, Marcello opened his mouth.
“The second question…! The Tereans and the Samaritans…!”
The story about the Tereans, who had a poor relationship with the Samaritans due to ethnic conflicts, and the love shown by the Samaritan who aided the Tereans.
Though it might sound like a simple question of who the true neighbor is, upon delving into its substance, it wasn’t simple at all.
The party asking the Lord about the concept of ‘neighbor’ was a Terean priest. Upon hearing his question, in response to the Lord’s inquiry, “Who became a neighbor to the merchant?” the Terean priest hesitated to say that the Samaritan, who usually had a poor relationship with him, had become a neighbor, and instead said, “It is the one who showed love and good hands to the merchant,” and spoke in a roundabout way.
And the Lord’s response to him was:
“The priest mentioned in that story…. That is…!”
You go and do likewise.
Despite inquiring of the Lord about the concept of ‘neighbor’, the Terean priest, still buried in his own definitions and tedious notions, hadn’t been able to provide a genuine answer.
For this reason, the Terean priest had spoken such a response. That was the real meaning of this story. And…
[You, son of man. Hate the scales that provoke and deceive, but the just weights that do not lie are pleasing to the Lord.]
Professor Antorelli’s exam paper warned against not lying.
[Are you someone’s neighbor?]
It asked whether the predefined concept of neighbor fit one’s own self.
[Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.]
It promised that if one desires to find, it will be given, forcing continuous contemplation about the questions that have already been solved.
[How do you give love?]
It inquired about the ‘love’ shared by the neighbor that had already been addressed in the second question.
Professor Marcello enlightened himself by sifting through this story and the exam questions presented by Professor Antorelli.
The Terean priest within the story was indeed Professor Marcello.
“That parable, could it be…!”
To the professor, who was trapped in his definitions and rigid concepts, Professor Antorelli offered a small crack in that solid frame…
“…Professor Marcello.”
Professor Antorelli spoke. The hallway where only Sofia Sub-priest, Professor Antorelli, and Professor Marcello stood was so quiet that even the breath seemed controlled, causing Antorelli’s monotonous voice to resonate clearly.
“Only if you change will the students also change.”
“……!”
With that remark, Professor Antorelli turned back around. Sofia Sub-priest walked quietly alongside him.
Slowly, Professor Marcello stared blankly at the back of Professor Antorelli as he receded.
“……”
And then, he bowed his head.
Slowly, very slowly. Lowering his head and bending at the waist.
“Oh, ah….”
Just like Professor Antorelli, Professor Marcello’s upper body, which had been covered in shadow, gradually began to bask in more sunlight as he lowered his posture.
Thus, when Professor Marcello fully absorbed the light throughout his body.
“The servant of the Lord, this old body… the Dominican dedicates the rest of his lifetime to prayer…”
He was completely hunched over with his head bowed.
Hot tears flowed. Streaming down the small wrinkles etched around Dominico’s eyes, so very hotly.
Reason is cold, but the faith that envelops it is hotter than anything in this world.
In the direction Professor Marcello bowed his head, Professor Antorelli had already left.
Yet, only those who are patient, humble, not boastful, not envious, and seek to become good can fully behold…
Such wisdom allowed to those in low places.
[You go and do likewise.]
“Grant me the strength to do so….”
There, through the window, poured in a brilliant golden hue…
There was light.
Blessed and blessed, it is the grace of the Lord.
