It is a rare occurrence, but I have gone out a few times on the weekend.
Due to the high population density of the city, there are not many places I can roam freely… Still.
Walking through the city and taking in the peaceful streets serves as a nice change of pace, and very occasionally, I have ventured out simply missing the warmth of other people.
Of course, in those cases, I would quickly have to return to the dorm after seeing the throngs of people bustling on the streets and in the squares.
People here, people there.
As the world progresses, they say there are people everywhere…
‘Indeed, this doesn’t suit me.’
I barely managed to suppress the queasiness rising in my stomach. It was a feeling that had come and gone several times throughout the day.
“Hmm… how about this one?”
“Oh, yes. That seems fine.”
When Professor Esther showed me a magical item whose purpose was hard to discern, I nodded my head. Outings with Professor Esther generally proceeded in a similar manner.
I had made an effort not to show my discomfort, so it wasn’t entirely Professor Esther’s fault that we ended up heading into crowded areas.
Although Professor Esther is aware of my participation… she only seems to recognize it as something I’ve ‘participated in.’ I have never fully confided in her about my circumstances like I did with Sofia the sub-priest.
And that has come back to me like a boomerang.
“Look, there’s one here too. Hmm… it seems a bit cheaper than what we saw earlier?”
“But this one doesn’t have a meter, does it?”
“Ah… that’s true…”
Professor Esther had also made time to go out. I knew well that, even with the upcoming academic assessments at the end of the semester, she was just as busy as I was.
She must want to relax a little on the weekend, but she insists on suggesting an outing for me…
‘Is she trying to help me feel better?’
Indeed, I had shown signs of fatigue lately. But that was due to preparing for the exams along with the confession I held for Jericho, which had disrupted my sleeping pattern; I didn’t actually need something to lift my spirits.
‘…Nonetheless.’
I thought she must be genuinely concerned for me, which is why she suggested this outing. Thus, even if the situation had become slightly askew, it would be right to graciously accept it.
Another thing I found bearable was seeing how Professor Esther was trying her best to lead me to less crowded places. It didn’t feel good to see her making such efforts to think of me.
“Hmm… I think our research members would like this. This should be enough for now.”
“Are you not going to look around more?”
“No, um… I think this should be fine!”
By “research members,” she was referring to the members of the magical theory research department where Professor Esther serves as an advisor. After all, the purpose of this outing was to buy supplies needed for the festival booth they were preparing.
“Then… now…”
“…Hmm.”
The corners of Professor Esther’s mouth creased downwards slightly. It probably meant we had not yet purchased all the necessary items or that the shopping hadn’t been satisfactory.
“Shall we… head back?”
“…….”
Professor Esther suggested that we return first. My complexion probably hadn’t shown too much, and it seemed she wanted to consider me.
But still…
‘…This won’t do.’
No, it wouldn’t do.
I immediately grabbed Professor Esther’s hand. She momentarily showed a look of surprise, but she didn’t pull away.
“Professor Esther. How about we look around a bit more?”
“No, you really don’t have to…”
“Isn’t there anything lacking? It seems you still need to buy more.”
“Are you really okay with this?”
The way she asked suggested she was indeed thinking of me. I barely managed to suppress the urge to bite my lip.
While I didn’t feel bad about her consideration, still…
‘Because of me.’
Seeing her suffer losses because of me was something hard for me to bear. I can’t stand such a thing.
“Professor Lucio?!”
“Over here.”
I moved forward while holding onto Professor Esther’s hand. She had initially shown a flustered expression but soon followed me silently with her head hung down.
My palm felt tingling sensations. Her slender fingers were lightly scratching against my palm. I tightened my grip on her hand.
“Uh, uh…”
While Professor Esther made an unintelligible sound, she showed no intention to pull away, indicating it didn’t seem to hurt her.
“I’ll head from that direction first.”
“C-coming…”
No matter what, the outing was just beginning.
*
Professor Esther Garrett glanced at the large hand grasping hers.
‘It’s big…’
A hand larger than hers, rough yet radiating a warm heat.
Calloused skin grazed lightly, and the touch of hardened scars brushed against hers… such was the hand of a man.
Professor Esther couldn’t fully believe that her hand was being wrapped by such a hand.
‘…Still, there’s no need to wander the shopping district again.’
In reality, she had long since gathered most of the items needed for the festival booth of the magical theory research department where she served as an advisor, so there was no pressing need for a shopping excursion.
She felt embarrassed to be honest about the reason for the outing; the discussions regarding the festival booth were merely an excuse.
In a sense, it came close to a lie. There was a slight sense of guilt in fulfilling her personal desires with such a falsehood.
The fact that she had started to suggest returning was derived from that reason. It had felt as though she was coercing an outing for various reasons.
Although Professor Antorelli didn’t show any apparent dislike for going out, it was hard to hide the way he had begun observing the surroundings.
The moment Professor Esther noticed that, she concluded that it would be best to curb her personal desires at this point.
‘He seemed quite tired lately… I thought it was a good time to help him feel refreshed…’
Yet, as she intended to give up on the idea of going out on a weekend meant for resting, Professor Antorelli didn’t do so.
“Professor Esther. How about we look around a bit more?”
It seemed that he thought he might have inadvertently shown discomfort for a moment, as his tone held a hint of apologetic emotion directed toward her.
Professor Esther had no choice but to nod, thinking of it as a bit of stubbornness.
While walking hand in hand with Professor Antorelli, she found herself biting her lip, overwhelmed by the inexplicable emotions rising within her.
Being led by his hand towards somewhere, she could feel her face burning from the warmth emanating from that hand.
Be happy. It was a hope that this moment would last forever. Greed knows no bounds.
While feeling happiness, Professor Esther simultaneously recognized that his consideration stemmed from her own desires.
‘If I had honestly communicated my reasons and suggested an outing, he would have probably… politely declined.’
However, if she bluntly stated her true intentions … she would have to face his unique approach of refusing in a firm but considerate manner, ensuring that the other person would not feel offended.
Professor Esther did not want to envision such a scenario. She didn’t want to experience it in reality either.
In a sense, it was a selfish desire. She felt a twinge of guilt, her conscience weighing heavily.
‘Still, if I don’t do this…’
It’s hard to create more opportunities to connect with Professor Antorelli. No, it simply cannot be done.
While they shared lunches every weekday, the relationship never progressed beyond that. It wasn’t merely due to the walls he had up.
Here, Professor Esther believed she needed further points of contact. Almost as if, in the early days of her appointment, they had taken shifts together.
“How about this one?”
As she pondered various thoughts and rationalizations while walking, she found herself entering a magical tool store alongside Professor Antorelli.
“Yes, four?”
“…Is that okay?”
“Oh, yes… that’s fine.”
“So, what do you think about this?”
Accepting the small generator-like object Professor Antorelli offered, Professor Esther began to carefully inspect it without even noticing its heavy weight.
She had already purchased a magical meter earlier, which was comfortably settled in her bag, but it wouldn’t hurt to check out a better quality item. After all, it would be used by the students.
Thus, she wanted to provide them with the best quality possible. From this thought behind Professor Antorelli’s suggestion, she felt his warm consideration once again.
“This is good too, but the cylinder here is a bit small. The cylinder should be easily visible.”
“Ah… is that so? I’m sorry. I’m a bit clueless when it comes to magic…”
“Pfft… No. If I approached theology, I’d become a fool too.”
“Still… I’m not really any help.”
Though looking indifferent like usual, if one observed closely, he exhibited a genuinely sulky demeanor, feeling he wasn’t being helpful, which made him rather endearing.
If others were to see that expression, they might think, “Isn’t it the same as his usual face?” and she would have nothing to say in response. Professor Esther had no delusions about being under the spell of love.
At the same time, however, a peculiar thought began to creep into her mind.
‘If things continue like this, wouldn’t it be alright…?’
Going out was pleasant. Professor Antorelli didn’t appear tired at all, nor did he seem to dislike the outing itself.
He only showed a slight tension in the crowded areas, but that didn’t mean he hated going out.
So, if that’s the case…
‘Just a bit more…’
Would it be wrong to indulge a little longer?
Thinking this, she began to give in to her personal desires that had started to roll gently.
“How about we go that way this time?”
“That sounds good.”
Professor Esther thought.
She wished the weekend would last a little longer.
