This cannot be happening.
Really, this cannot be happening.
Professor Antorelli was crying out like that. Although he didn’t voice it directly, his sighs could be read simply through the altered flow of air, a type of thing that was instinctively felt.
And the students sitting in the classroom, too.
“This, this cannot be….”
Right now, this situation was just as deplorable.
Who could possibly accept such foolish education? Who on earth walks down a path so recklessly, without any plans?
At the end of that path lay a new stepping stone called ‘academic achievement.’ It was only natural that progressing towards it was the duty of a student.
However, around that path, there was fresh grass, beautiful flowers that were worth pausing to admire, and cheerful birds chirping nearby.
Why does the person walking that path only blindly gaze at the end of the road, which is not even clearly visible?
Is this really the right thing to do?
‘This, this is not right…!’
Laura von Adelheit, sitting in the front row of the classroom while looking at Professor Antorelli from the closest distance, screamed inwardly.
In fact, if the situation permitted, she felt like she wanted to scream out loud. She couldn’t bring herself to do so.
The atmosphere in the classroom had transformed into a truly silent crucible, changing into a calm seabed submerged beneath the surface.
“…The elders who rule well should be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching.”
Professor Antorelli muttered something. He had not opened anything.
He was reciting a verse from the Bible.
He was reciting the Bible.
He, Professor Antorelli, was teaching now.
“Abraham went into the wilderness under the guidance of the Lord with only one son, and he was tempted by the devil.”
As he fasted for ten nights and their bellies were hungry, he was tempted by the devil.
The tempter approached him and said, “If you truly believe in the Lord, tell this stone to become bread.”
Didn’t Abraham reply, “The scripture says that man shall not live by bread alone, but by every word that comes from the mouth of the Lord”? Are you defying the Lord’s words?
When the tempter retreated, this time a treacherous serpent in the form of a man appeared before Abraham.
“The scripture says to turn it into quail. Then I will do that for you,” it whispered.
Abraham replied, “This scripture is the Lord’s word, my sustenance, and the light of my life. How can I trade it for mere quail?”
Then the serpent twisted its body and retreated, and next, a red dragon with seven crowned heads and ten horns blocked his path, saying.
“Turn back the way you have come. And throw all nations into confusion. I will give you that power.”
To which Abraham said, “Do not test your Lord, who has already granted victory over the world, and the believers. Get behind me, Satan. Return to the den of beasts where you belong.”
And so, the devil, who had been trying to tempt Abraham in various forms, fled.
“Abraham finally crossed the wilderness, and prostrating himself before the Lord, he prayed. I have followed your blessed word. Then the Lord ignited a fire and pointed to that place, saying…”
– In this furnace, offer your son as a burnt offering. And when you have done so, come to me. You will be the father of many nations.
“…Abraham, without hesitation, attempted to offer his son as a burnt offering.”
……
Silence flowed. Among the students, nothing, really no words came out.
The Abraham of the biblical story he spoke of definitely followed the Lord’s word.
So, was that right?
“When Abraham was about to offer his son Isaac as a burnt offering, the Lord stopped him, saying.”
– You may have seen me, but what about your son, who followed you? What will you do with him?
It was not right.
The Lord had stopped him.
From just hearing the story, yes. The Lord might simply have been testing Abraham’s faith, but.
“…Everyone.”
Now, the thirty-two students sitting in front of Professor Antorelli.
“Get a grip.”
Have you not all ignored every piece of knowledge and academic achievement you have built up until now? Didn’t you just blindly run towards Professor Antorelli’s words? Didn’t you mechanically memorize his words as if you were a machine?
‘That’s too much….’
It was an impossible thing. This cannot, should not be happening.
Only then did the students realize why Professor Antorelli had not been in a good mood throughout the class. He wasn’t angry, nor was he greatly upset or disappointed.
He had been feeling sorry for the students. Truly.
After standing in front of the podium for a moment, observing the students, Professor Antorelli let out a faint sigh and slowly walked across the platform.
“Following my words is good. However, that doesn’t mean you should completely disregard your own thoughts and follow like a machine.”
That was indeed true. The students would unconditionally follow whatever Professor Antorelli said. Of course, the students of Class A in their first year hadn’t always been that way from the very beginning.
So when did it become like this?
The answer came directly from Professor Antorelli’s mouth.
“Midterm assessment, integrated exam for first-year theology.”
The integrated exam for theology. An unprecedented exam in which the entire first-year class was assessed together, presided over by Professor Antorelli.
He stated that was the trigger.
Then, what part of that exam was the trigger?
“That exam was a problem you had to solve entirely on your own.”
The exam from Professor Antorelli. A five-step path to proof of faith.
Was it the kind of exam that someone else could solve for you? Was his theology exam that flimsy?
No, this wasn’t a matter of whether the exam was flimsy or not. This was, this was….
“Those were problems you had to solve, problems from your own ‘life.’”
That’s right.
The five questions he posed toward faith. Each of those problems sought different answers.
It wasn’t that the five questions wanted a single answer. All the questions would yield different correct answers depending on the one taking the exam.
For example, if a question like “Write down your parents’ names” were posed, barring siblings, the answers would necessarily all differ.
Professor Antorelli’s theology exam questions were the same.
While some questions might indeed allow for a unified answer due to their nature, even so, the directions of each question were far too varied.
In the end, it becomes impossible to solve.
So, yes.
To read the question and to know what kind of answer to write along with the intentions contained within that question could surely be explained.
However, after hearing Professor Antorelli’s explanation… Can that answer, derived from it, really count as correct?
In questions that require you to think entirely on your own and seek answers yourself, if the commentator’s remarks from the question-maker are mixed in… After coming up with an answer for questions that you couldn’t solve no matter what, would that answer truly be the right one? Could you have written the same answer without listening to Professor Antorelli’s explanation?
“If I solve it for you, the heartfelt answers that you should have thought about yourself could… disappear forever.”
The answer to that question was, of course, ‘no.’
Professor Antorelli, after all, even the students who had to solve that problem could not be assured that their answers would be the same before and after hearing his explanation. In that sense, Professor Antorelli’s exam guaranteed autonomy.
The students stared blankly, not even having time to savor the sweetness of the edible paper that melted away in their mouths, as they gazed blankly at Professor Antorelli, standing on the podium.
“And that is why, I did not want to provide you with a solution to that exam. Of course, I could provide a solution. Just because I do not solve it does not mean I cannot explain it to you.”
The flavor of the paper, which was certainly made of sweet sugar, had an oddly bitter aftertaste.
“Among those sitting in this classroom, there are some students who are anxious about whether they can maintain their place in Class A next year….”
Some students, hearing his words, flinched. They were students uncertain if they could preserve their status in Class A in the second-year section, which would be determined based on their grades.
“In such a situation, I do not want you to advance to your second year in this state… Absolutely not.”
His expression was resolute. As Professor Antorelli’s mouth firmly closed, the students could not readily open theirs.
“…Relying on me is fine, of course. I can certainly accept childish mistakes or academic complaints for your sake.”
That is, after all, Professor Antorelli’s role. Doing so is what he took on as his duty.
No. Even before it was a duty, it seemed more like…
What could it mean, it was, indeed, a matter of feeling.
Professor Antorelli continued.
“However, the problems you must solve must be solved by you. I cannot lead you through everything.”
That was such a piercing truth that the students unconsciously had to slowly nod their heads. Looking back at the past, the students had certainly shown many instances of overly relying on Professor Antorelli.
Then, what the students sitting here should do is…
“Break free.”
Professor Antorelli said. The students looked at him in unison.
He stood firm. On the platform, in front of the podium. Standing with two legs firmly atop the platform.
“I do not mean to interpret all of my lecture content arbitrarily or to say that you should listen with one ear and let it pass through the other. I only mean, break free from me.”
…They thought they had broken free.
After completing Professor Antorelli’s assignment, the students believed they had shattered the invisible confines that bound them. They thought there were no longer any obstacles in their way and that only infinite possibilities lay ahead of them.
That statement only partially was true.
“What you should show me is merely the mutual respect that should be maintained between educator and student.”
My wings, my wings are itchy. I feel an itch in my shoulder blades.
Are they about to emerge? What? If so, what on earth lies in wait?
That feeling was frightening, like breaking out of an egg. Yet at the same time, what could it be that awaited in that unknown future?
It was a curiosity that was hard to bear.
“During these past… eight months, or perhaps just over nine months, it is very good to have deeply internalized my lessons. However….”
The students felt like they were about to cry for some reason.
This isn’t the last class. However, next year, they might not be able to take his class.
That small possibility. Because of that…
“Honor knowledge and faith, but do not honor the people.”
– Ding— ding—.
“…We will conclude today’s class here. Please reflect deeply on what I have said.”
Professor Antorelli then departed.
With Sub-priest Sofia leaving the classroom, the restraint of “no movement during class time” was lifted.
However, no one moved.
Laura clenched her fist tightly. Something, something opened. It had finally cleared.
‘Break free….’
Break free.
The mother bird, teaching her chicks to fly, said so as she dropped them from the nest.
Now, shouldn’t they fly on their own?
