It was a chilly winter night.
Chloe found herself unable to get to sleep. A jumble of various thoughts swirled chaotically in her mind.
Many things came to mind. However, they quickly faded away.
As if the boiling water that had reached its peak simmered down as soon as the fire was turned off.
Even if its residual heat lingered, the slowly cooling water found it difficult to boil as it once did.
Chloe’s mind was just like that.
“Haa….”
Staring blankly at the ceiling for a moment, Chloe eventually pulled the soft, cozy blanket up tightly. Wrapped in the warm embrace, her thoughts continued to churn.
‘Get away, perhaps….’
The theology class taught by Professor Antorelli today. She kept running through the content of that class in her mind.
Lying flat on her back with wide-open eyes, Chloe soon twisted her body and rolled onto her side.
Thoughts have a limited capacity, and once that limit is surpassed, one’s mind reaches a threshold. This is when one may feel disinterested in everything or suffer a blank mind.
On her side, Chloe felt that her thoughts began to flow like streams, aligning themselves in a parallel direction. The thoughts that had filled her head began to filter out gradually.
‘…Certainly.’
As Professor Antorelli said, the students had been too dependent on him.
While it was true that he taught them many things, he was not someone who would teach them everything.
Professor Antorelli, he is a professor of theology. A person who teaches theology. Nothing more, nothing less.
A professor of theology. He was a person who could neither step outside the social status brought by that title nor should he.
Yet the students tried to find out everything from Professor Antorelli. They sought to obtain everything from him. They approached him with burning eyes as if they could grasp all aspects of life from him.
The result was this.
‘I was too dependent….’
Chloe clutched the edge of her blanket tighter. The plush and warm blanket crumpled as it formed creases.
How much had Professor Antorelli pondered? When the students, during his lectures, gradually moved toward the right path and new doors opened, yet they remained blind to everything but him.
When they began to pester him to explain the questions for the integrated theology exam while he was slowly becoming aware of this sign.
How deep had he dug through his concerns when that which was elusive even to him transformed into certainty?
Before today’s class… how many thoughts had he gone through?
Perhaps it would be hard to express it in words. How much he must have struggled, and perhaps… he grieved alone over the guilt of shaping his students this way.
If the ‘true’ Professor Antorelli that Chloe knew truly cared for his students while desperately trying to approach them, then indeed, it would be so.
Would other students be having similar thoughts? As Chloe reviewed the faces of her classmates in Class A that floated through her mind, she tossed and turned in bed.
She sincerely hoped so. She wished that other students would notice this side of Professor Antorelli. Chloe earnestly wished for that.
Something deep in Chloe’s heart seemed to be tickling her incessantly.
– Clank.
That small breeze, as if a gust of wind blew and extinguished a candle, faded away when she heard the rustling from Elin’s bed, who shared the same dormitory with her.
“…Elin?”
“…….”
Cautiously calling out Elin’s name, Chloe received no reply, but she did not miss the slight flinch of Elin’s shoulder as she turned her back.
“Are you… asleep?”
“…….”
“Are you not asleep? If not, shall we talk a bit?”
“…….”
“…I see. You don’t want to talk to me anymore.”
“…No, what.”
In the end, it was Elin who raised the white flag. She nervously scratched her head, then quickly turned toward Chloe.
“…Why? What do you want to talk about?”
“Just… some small talk. Since you can’t sleep anyway.”
“Haa….”
“Why couldn’t you sleep?”
To Chloe’s question, Elin remained silent for a moment. Sitting up on her bed, she turned her gaze toward the window between the two beds.
Outside, white snow was falling. It drifted slowly in stillness, occasionally blowing in the wind, landing heavily on the ground.
As Elin peered beyond the slightly frozen window frame, she spoke in a lower voice.
“…Just, too many thoughts.”
“Is it because of Professor Antorelli’s class?”
“…….”
“Right.”
Chloe slowly sat up in bed. Her pink eyes sparkled.
“Then, should we talk a bit about the professor?”
“…It’ll be the weekend tomorrow. Let’s at least get some good sleep.”
“Since it’s the weekend tomorrow, it’s all the more reason to talk.”
“…….”
Tomorrow is the weekend. And next week, winter break begins.
Even if told not to rest, there would be plenty of time to relax ahead. Chloe moved closer to Elin’s bed and sat down.
“…We’ll soon be second-years.”
“Right.”
“…How was it?”
Chloe asked. Elin continued to gaze outside at the snowy scenery without turning her head.
“What?”
“How was the past year spent at the Caldera Imperial Academy?”
“…It was good, what else? Why do you ask that?”
“I see. It was good…”
“Why. Did you not enjoy it?”
“Hmm, no. I enjoyed it too.”
Chloe turned her gaze toward the window along with Elin. The darkened view in front of the dormitory, illuminated only by the streetlights, was blanketed in white snow. Indeed, the world was being painted over in pure white without a single blemish.
“…Will we be able to stay in Class A next year?”
At Elin’s question, Chloe looked at her in surprise. This wasn’t a typical question from the normally easygoing Elin.
“Well, I’m not sure. It’s a bit ambiguous. With grades and talent and all…”
“No, it’s not like that, Elin.”
“…Well, I guess I could stay as a Class A student somehow… but it’s true that I feel a bit anxious. It’s something beyond my control.”
“…You’ll be fine.”
It will turn out well. Everything, everything…
Elin’s worries, Chloe’s concerns, other students’ struggles, and also…
‘Professor… Professor Antorelli.’
Even now, in this early morning hour… he might also be unable to sleep and tossing and turning. No, he must definitely be.
The wounds that Professor Antorelli might be secretly hiding, wounds that he cannot reveal.
I wish they could be covered up by this white snow.
The snow kept falling. Again and again…
Continuously.
*
“Everyone, let’s make this winter break significant and rest well to not be overly buried in studies…”
Professor Scarlett Underwood, the acting chancellor of the Caldera Imperial Academy, spoke in a gentle voice. The students seated in the auditorium still had alert eyes.
“…Thus, we conclude the winter break ceremony of Caldera Imperial Academy. I hope you all welcome a renewed new year.”
– Clap, clap, clap—!
Applause erupted. I had already been covering my ears. My gaze wandered aimlessly until it landed on Sub-priest Sofia, who tightly grasped my clothing.
Since my ears were blocked, I couldn’t hear Sofia’s voice over the muffled sound of applause. However, as I quietly watched her lips move, I could roughly discern what she was saying.
‘It’s okay.’
After the thundering applause ended, Professor Underwood stepped down from the stage. The students, with excited expressions, began to gather their bags and hurry out of the auditorium.
“Wow… what a tremendous atmosphere.”
Professor Esther, who had been sitting next to me, stood up with a bag full of papers and documents and approached me. I nodded and echoed her words.
“That’s understandable. For the third-year students, winter break means graduation is just around the corner, and for the first-year students, it’s their very first winter break.”
“True, that makes sense. Everyone has worked so hard.”
The first-year students had entered the Caldera Imperial Academy and studied unfamiliar and unfamiliar subjects before taking exams, so they must have had quite a tough time.
Even though I knew well how hard the first-year students had it, I still held onto a single worry.
‘Did they understand well…?’
The serious topic I discussed with Class A first-year students during last week’s Friday class. The admonition not to rely too heavily on me, nor to be trapped within my framework.
Did they truly absorb that well? Or did they perhaps misunderstand?
‘…They are smart kids.’
They are all sharp and intelligent, so they must have understood the message I was trying to convey. Worrying like this is endless.
As I watched the students pour out toward the auditorium doors, Professor Esther spoke up.
“By the way, Chancellor Damian hasn’t returned yet.”
“…Indeed.”
As she said, Chancellor Damian had temporarily gone on a trip and had since stepped down for a while.
It was hard to accept that he suddenly left for a trip without any warning to the other professors aside from Underwood, but it was even more disconcerting to receive a sudden notice of his leave without prior discussion.
“It seems like Professor Underwood must be quite overwhelmed… Although he wanted the chancellor position, I don’t think he expected to take on the role of acting chancellor so suddenly.”
“Is that so?”
“Yes. I ran into him in the annex hallway and had a light chat while heading to the main building. It seemed like Professor Underwood was caught up in some complicated issues.”
“Complicated issues….”
“Oh, speaking of which, Professor Underwood asked me to convey his thanks to Professor Lucio.”
“…Ah.”
I wondered what that meant. It seemed to refer to some ambiguous conflict between Professor Underwood and Professor Armstrong.
“I’m sorry if it sounds like I’m speaking for him… But, you know, I frequently hang out with Professor Lucio. Professor Underwood must not intend to belittle him.”
“I understand.”
In any case, I was relieved that it was resolved well. It seems that things tend to work out like this as the year comes to a close.
Apart from that, I hoped that the Class A students would ponder my words a bit deeper during this winter break. If that goes well, it would indeed be perfect.
“Shall we go now?”
“Head Priest! Let’s go eat something delicious!”
As I woke from my deep thoughts, both Professor Underwood and Sub-priest Sofia were waving at me.
Well, it’s time to escape work and lighten the load a little.
“Yes. I’ll go now…”
“Ha ha! Professor Antorelli! Where are you rushing off to?”
Just as I was about to head toward Professor Esther and Sub-priest Sofia, a thick arm, like a log, grabbed my shoulder. A familiar voice resounded in my ear.
This voice was undoubtedly…
“…Professor Armstrong.”
“It seems like this year has peacefully come to an end, so let’s go have a meal with the academy professors! Professor Underwood and I will use our strength!”
“…….”
“By the way, you have no excuse for not attending! Unless it’s a matter of life and death, you must be there!”
Seeing Professor Armstrong laughing heartily, I genuinely began to feel a threat to my life.
It seems my stomach will have to endure some hardship today.
