Deep in the night.
Schwarz Dragania pulled a chair to the balcony and picked up a teacup.
The cold wind fiercely blew against his flesh.
He brought the teacup to his lips and slowly tilted it.
“Ugh.”
He immediately spat out the tea he had in his mouth outside the balcony.
The Duke frowned and tipped the cup over, spilling all the tea.
He couldn’t bring himself to call back Julia, who had returned to the accommodation in tears, so he sent for another maid, which resulted in this garbage tea.
He had thought Julia’s tea was truly terrible until now.
Looking back, it turned out Julia’s skill had improved significantly since the first day.
“Truly, it’s easier to notice absence than presence.”
His first meeting with her could indeed be called the worst.
The Duke had believed he knew that well himself.
It was a creaky start, but he had hoped to piece things back together quickly.
He believed he could make amends.
But today, he realized that all of that had been a delusion.
‘I knew nothing.’
How much pain he had caused her.
How he had continued to dig at that wound, blindly.
He had been completely unaware.
There was no way to reconcile a relationship that had been shattered from the very beginning.
No matter how well he tried, to Julia, the Duke was merely a cruel and ugly monster.
It was the Duke himself who had hammered that perception into her mind.
“Why am I… why…”
The Duke trembled with his eyes tightly shut.
He had no way of distinguishing whether this feeling was guilt or regret.
No, perhaps it was a third emotion altogether.
He had lived a life distant from desires for thousands of years.
He could hardly recall a moment where he had craved something or felt genuine anger.
Yet strangely, whenever he saw that woman, he would feel restless.
As if he were enchanted.
Naturally, he believed that this tingling sensation he felt every time he looked at Julia was desire.
Just a craving drawn to flesh.
Therefore, he could not even comprehend himself.
What reason could there be to keep Julia by his side after making a vow never to touch her again?
Why would he cling to a woman who held no interest in him, who loathed him?
It took him a long time to arrive at that answer.
“This is what they call love in the human world.”
Love.
He had mocked the notion of having frivolous feelings for nothing more than a breeding partner.
Even after experiencing it firsthand, his thoughts had not changed.
Because of one woman, he was unable to focus on his work, his gaze kept wandering, and blood would rush to his lower extremities, prompting him to relieve himself of desires repeatedly…
It was nothing but an inefficient and incredibly uncomfortable emotion.
So, if he were to ask himself whether this was unpleasant, the answer was absolutely not.
To desire something, to love, was quite a delightful experience.
“Hehehe…”
But he ended up ruining all of it.
He had broken everything right from the start due to a foolish mistake.
That made it even more bitter.
In the end, he hadn’t understood the woman he claimed to love at all, nor had he made any effort to do so.
He never imagined a day would come when he would hate himself so much.
The guilt he thought he would never feel stabbed painfully at his chest, too difficult to bear.
The Duke suppressed a bitter sneer directed at himself and hardened his expression.
He resolved himself.
“After all, this is the right thing to do…”
Returning to his office, the Duke sat at his desk and picked up a pen.
There was no way to correct his mistake.
There were no means of atonement.
He would merely do the best he could, right here and now.
.
.
.
Before the sun rose, his eyes opened of their own accord.
It was such a refreshing awakening that even he was surprised.
Had he ever woken up so refreshed lately?
“Ah…”
As he got out of bed, memories of yesterday flooded his mind, and he felt drained.
So he really had caused an accident yesterday.
It wasn’t the first time the Duke had played mischievous pranks, but all that repressed frustration had finally exploded.
It was bound to happen one day.
It so happened to be today.
That was the conclusion he reached.
“Is today the last day?”
He would probably get fired today.
Quietly slipping out of bed so as not to wake Tia, he began preparing for his final departure.
Strangely enough, he was unusually quick today.
Almost absurdly so.
“I’m off, Mom.”
He lightly kissed Tia’s forehead as she slept and left the accommodation.
His steps were light.
Perhaps it was because he felt that this life was finally coming to an end.
He passed through the noisy kitchen and made his way upstairs.
The Duke’s bedroom door was still firmly shut.
He must still be asleep.
Once the Duke woke up, he would open the door, see him, and immediately hand him a termination notice.
He decided to wait until then.
“Hmm?”
At that moment, he noticed that the office door at the end of the hallway was slightly ajar.
That door is usually kept closed—what could be the issue…?
Feeling that something was off, he headed towards the office, but there was no one there.
Only the intense wind blowing in through the open balcony filled the room.
The office was always cluttered with various books, but today it appeared unusually tidy.
Shivering from the cold, he first closed the window.
Only then did he notice it.
The stationery held down by a paperweight on the desk.
“What is this?”
It seemed as if it had been left out for someone to see.
For example, a maid responsible for cleaning the office…
He cautiously removed the paperweight and picked up the letter.
The lengthy, densely written letter began with “To Miss Julia.”
“Ah.”
Startled, he flipped the letter over.
After glancing around, he quietly closed the office door and returned to the desk.
A letter written to me by the Duke… what kind of disgusting nonsense could it possibly contain?
-To Miss Julia.
You should be the first to discover this letter.
I have something to say to you, so I have left this note behind.
I will keep it as brief as possible so that you won’t feel it’s too long.
First of all, I sincerely want to apologize, even if it’s through writing.
This is something I should have said a long time ago.
I have been under a misapprehension all this time.
Cruelly, I have overlooked your wounds.
I never knew that the sound of my breathing would come to you as a threat.
I never realized that my mere presence frightened you.
With this ignorance, I have continued to scrape at your wounds.
I became aware of this far too late.
You likely have no intention of forgiving me, but still, I shamelessly seek your forgiveness.
The reason I apologize in writing is that by the time you read this letter, I will no longer be at the villa.
After a lengthy vacation, I will have returned to the Duchy of Dragania…
“What?!”
Startled, he dashed out of the office, holding the letter.
No wonder the office had seemed remarkably clean.
Rushing towards the bedroom, he hurriedly opened the door.
If he thumped around too much, the butler would scold him, but there was no time to worry about that.
“Master!”
“……”
He roughly opened the bedroom door, but cold silence welcomed him.
At first glance, it seemed like the Duke had temporarily left the bedroom, but as soon as he noticed the Duke’s gloves, which were always on the table, and the suitcase beside the bed were gone, he realized.
The Duke had truly left the villa.
He numbly looked at the letter in his hand again.
Slowly unfolding the crumpled paper, he read the last paragraph he hadn’t been able to finish.
…I am returning.
From now on, Miss Julia will work as a regular maid under the butler’s direction.
As for the matter of selling my name to the prince, I will consider that a closed issue.
In the future, feel free to call upon the name of Dragania whenever it is convenient for you.
I don’t say this in sarcasm, but sincerely.
If my meager reputation and power can be used for your convenience, it would give me immense joy.
I will stop here.
Thank you for listening to my pathetic excuses.
-Yours, the vile enemy.
“Always so self-willed…”
His hands trembled.
He couldn’t contain his anger at all.
He acted as if he had learned something, yet he remained oblivious and completely lacking consideration for others.
Yet, it wasn’t as if nothing had changed, which was what irked him the most.
If you’re going to leave, then just leave without saying a word.
Why depart with an apology that didn’t suit him?
Why does he seek my forgiveness?
Why does he make me feel this uncomfortable?
Why does he treat me so cruelly…?
“Really…”
Or better yet, he could have asked for forgiveness while facing me.
Kneeling down and showing his sincerity right before my eyes.
What if he just ran away back to his homeland?
What a cowardly jerk.
The anger and hatred boiled over within him, threatening to burst.
“That bastard…”
I hate him for leaving me with nothing but wounds.
I hate him for leaving without giving me a second chance.
I just want to hate him to death.
In an instant, my vision blurred.
