There was something Lucia had heard since she was a child.
“Son, I’m not raising you as a daughter.”
Little Lucia didn’t understand what that meant at all.
To her, the world was the Russell Mansion, and she had never seen another child her age until she was well past the maturity stage.
So, she didn’t really get what her father meant when he raised her all alone.
She just did what she was told.
She was given hard toy soldiers as gifts, swung a sword until her hands were calloused, and learned various bits of knowledge.
She had lived without any doubt about herself.
She simply didn’t know another way to live.
At that time, the information given to little Lucia was highly controlled.
She was so oblivious that she didn’t even realize her body was different from a man’s.
Carlos raised Lucia to be a sturdy man worthy of being an heir of the Russells.
Lucia certainly possessed femininity, but she lived intentionally suppressing it.
As Carlos intended, Lucia thought of herself as a man.
The feminine aspects she felt inside were just an illusion, in her eyes.
It wasn’t until she hit puberty and started going through secondary sexual characteristics that she began to strongly realize her contradictions.
Her height grew every year, but along with it, other things started developing as well.
Her once-flat chest began to form lumps, and her straight waist and hips started to curve like an hourglass.
Once it started, her body transformed uncontrollably, and no matter how much she tried to hide it, she couldn’t.
There were days when she had to deal with blood staining her pants.
That was certainly a characteristic that didn’t appear in males.
“Ma’am, something’s wrong with my body. It’s so different from Father and… the other knights. Am I sick or something??”
Having lost her mother at a young age, the only person who could answer that question for Lucia was the nurse who had cared for her since she was a baby.
Pitying Lucia, who lived without knowing her own identity, the nurse ultimately disobeyed Carlos’s orders.
“Young master… you’re actually a lady.”
That thoroughly hidden fact was a tremendous shock to Lucia.
She had received the necessary education on the topic of sex.
However, it was always skirted around and never explained properly.
They talked about the characteristics of males and females but constantly pressed her to be a dignified man, without revealing anything beyond that.
“What does that even mean? Even if you were born in a female body, you are my son. Don’t think foolishly and focus only on the sword.”
When she finally opened up about her contradictions to her father, Carlos punished her terrifyingly.
Still, Carlos wasn’t completely mad and didn’t deny that she physically possessed feminine traits.
As secondary characteristics kicked in, it became impossible to conceal the growing femininity.
Looking back, she knew forcing herself to halt natural bodily changes would only impair her physical ability and make her skills worse, so she didn’t even attempt it.
Once Lucia accepted that she was female, her relationship with Carlos began to deteriorate rapidly.
Carlos was greatly disturbed by the femininity that began to awaken within Lucia as she became aware of her gender.
“Don’t shake. A steady mind is the path to mastery.”
Yet it was impossible to suppress the femininity that had been repressed for over a decade.
Lucia wasn’t denying her past life.
Swinging a sword was still fun, and improving her skills brought her immense satisfaction.
Defeating opponents filled once-scarce parts of Lucia’s self-esteem after living in the mansion, and since she had lived her life with the sword, there was no way she could part with it now.
However, an explosion of dissatisfaction regarding many other things broke out.
She hated the colorless, unexciting room filled with stiff toy soldiers.
Yet, while staying in the mansion, Lucia had to sneakily read fairy tales from the study to avoid her father’s watchful eyes.
As her inner femininity grew, it became increasingly difficult for her to stay at home.
Amidst her growing frustrations, Lucia happened to eavesdrop on a conversation between Carlos and Lemnos, who were in contact.
“…The outside world is too early for Lucia. When she has more firmly established her resolve, I will allow her to go.”
“Are you still calling your daughter your son, you fool? If you keep this up, even a decent child will be ruined. Show her the broader world, and she’ll understand, just like you and I did.”
“You wouldn’t understand since you have a son.”
“Yeah, I don’t want to know much. But Carlos… this isn’t just a suggestion; it’s an imperial edict. All children of the Five Pillars must enroll in the Academy. Don’t resist and send your daughter off. You can’t just keep her in your arms because she’s precious.”
Hearing that, Lucia quietly rejoiced.
The thought of breaking free from her repressive parents before things went south was thrilling for her.
The year she was set to become an adult, Lucia’s enrollment in the Academy was decided.
For her, the Academy was practically a refuge.
A place to escape from everything that oppressed her.
…
The Academy wasn’t paradise, and there were plenty of hardships, but Lucia loved it.
There were no people to oppress her, she could enjoy her favorite things without restraint, and there was freedom to buy what she desired.
Of course, she still had to pay attention to others to an extent, but she loved to adorn small aspects that didn’t stand out.
For instance, wearing neat, colorless clothing while sporting her favorite accessories or applying her favorite perfume; she savored the little freedoms that she could never enjoy in the mansion.
Not having truly met peers her age, her social skills weren’t smooth, but she eventually made friends.
She was a lot smaller and cuter than Lucia, but quite strong and capable of accomplishing everything she wanted—a remarkable person.
Just seeing him in the same class brought Lucia happiness.
She had no intention of going back to the mansion even after the semester ends.
Whatever excuse she had to make, she was going to stay at the Academy.
She did not want to return to that suffocating place.
But the freedom Lucia was enjoying ended in an instant.
…
As soon as she returned to the dormitory after all the tests were done, Lucia noticed her door was open.
And inside, she could feel a presence.
Suspicious of who had entered, the person inside showed no intention of hiding their presence at all.
“…Father?”
“You’re late, my son.”
Her heart raced like crazy upon seeing his face.
Her body shrank as if standing before a beast, and her line of sight fell downward.
Even though it was a girls’ dormitory, her father, Carlos Russell, entered without a thought.
Carlos looked just as he did months ago when they parted.
His lips were tightly shut as if he believed there could be no compromise, and even at over 180 cm tall, Lucia had to look up at him—his presence was overwhelming to the point where breathing was hard for her.
“How… did you get in here…?”
“Do parents need a reason to enter their child’s room?”
Lucia couldn’t say anything.
Even in the mansion, Carlos would often inspect her room unannounced.
If he found any “unnecessary things,” they would be discarded without mercy.
The nightmare she had forgotten about resurfaced, making her breath grow ragged.
“I’ve heard various things before coming here. They say you recklessly gave the family crest to someone?”
“It was… a necessary action. It was worth it.”
“No, choosing guests for the family is not your decision. It should be up to me as the head of the family.”
Carlos’s firm words made Lucia shrink back.
“…I heard stories about that student to whom you gave the crest. He is quite a troublesome delinquent; don’t ever meet him again.”
“No… that’s not true… Atlas is a good person.”
“If ‘good’ means slicing up fellow new students since the first week, I suppose cannibals living on an island might be regarded as good people as well. I’ve heard terrible things about him, and it seems ‘good person’ is too generous an assessment.”
Loathing to criticize Atlas without knowing anything, dozens of counterarguments flashed through Lucia’s mind, but it was impossible to voice them.
“I don’t wish to discuss this topic any further; just don’t meet him again.”
“….”
“What’s your answer?”
“Yes… understood.”
Those were words she didn’t mean at all.
Whenever she stood before her father, she couldn’t act on her own will.
Her body shrank back, and she ultimately found herself obeying his orders.
Yet, she would only have to endure for a short while; all she needed to do was pretend to follow the order here.
As long as she could hold on for now.
In the midst of that, she suddenly noticed something strange.
It was her dorm room, which felt familiar, yet somehow distant.
It had become excessively spacious.
Carlos, noticing that Lucia was looking around the room, spoke up briefly.
“I happen to be sorting out what’s unnecessary.”
“Ah…”
Lucia, forgetting that Carlos was even in the room, dashed out toward the waste disposal area.
Thick black smoke wafted up from the incinerator.
The incinerator was packed with ‘waste’ that was burning, releasing acrid smoke.
Among the burning garbage were the dolls Lucia had hoarded in her room.
Including the golden bear cub that she had bought with Atlas during an outing.
“No..!!!”
Realizing what she was doing, Lucia found herself reaching into the blazing incinerator to pull out the bear.
The bear, which had the blood of Atlas dried on it, was half-burned already.
Her hand was burned but she felt no pain.
What pained her was merely the fact that a bear filled with memories was being ruined.
“…What am I doing?”
Carlos was watching her actions.
“These are all things you don’t need. I told you to build experience at the Academy and polish your skills, yet you’ve grown complacent.”
– Crunch!
Carlos had suddenly arrived from behind and snatched the bear cub she had been holding tenderly.
Lucia attempted to resist, but her burned hand couldn’t exert strength, and she had no choice but to let go.
There was only one thing that Lucia could do in such a despairing situation.
“Father, please… this can’t happen… I’ll do everything you ask, just let me keep this one…”
All she could do was clutched at Carlos’s clothing as she begged.
However, his face only grew more disappointed.
“You’ve grown weak.”
Carlos turned away and forcefully pushed Lucia aside.
“A rock must not waver.”
Then the bear, reduced to half, fell back into the flames.
“Ah…!!!”
Once again, Lucia lunged to grab the bear, but it was as though she couldn’t move any further.
“Let go…!!”
Carlos held Lucia’s arm.
It felt like he was holding her delicately but with no effort, yet Lucia couldn’t escape from Carlos’s grasp, no matter how hard she tried.
“Remember this well. You don’t need things like that. Holding onto such weak things is why you can’t even shake off my grip.”
All she could do was watch the bear burn right before her eyes.
The memories she shared with Atlas were burning away.
It didn’t take long for the fabric bear to be completely consumed by flames.
Sitting on the ground in a daze, she stared at the blackened remains of the bear.
“…Tsk, how pathetic.”
Carlos clicked his tongue as he looked at the disheveled state of Lucia.
“… Is living as my son that intolerable?”
“….”
Carlos coldly looked down at her tear-streaked face.
“If you truly hate it that much, I’ll grant you your wish. From now on, I shall treat you as a daughter.”
