A Basement-Dwelling Loser, the Inquisitor – Chapter 167

“Why are you thinking about your oshi? If you’re talking about that VTuber I know… I have no idea why. She’s blonde, after all.”

“Not just blonde, but platinum blonde! …Hmm. I wonder if I should share this. It’s gonna be a long story. …No, it’s better to tell it. Master, are you okay with this? I really want you to hear this. Of course, I don’t know what you’re thinking, but I feel like it might help a little.”

“Ah, that….”

Is it okay to say I don’t want to?

But if it’s something they’re eager to talk about, maybe there’s a reason.

‘If you want to fulfill that desire you’re holding onto, you have no choice but to move forward.’

…Yeah.

Running away won’t change anything.

I acknowledged that myself and was trying little by little.

I wanted to show the Rebongi who Selene Benedetta is.

So I shouldn’t refuse someone who wants to help me.

Even if it makes things more difficult for me.

“I’m okay, really….”

“Okay… then I’ll just sit here.”

Owen said that as he sat next to Tuni.

In other words, right across from me.

It was a bit awkward.

“Before we start talking, I have a few questions. First. Didn’t Master say something earlier? About how I looked strange and alien?”

“Eunho!”

“Ah, just listen for a second. Did you seriously ask that because you think so?”

“…I don’t know.”

I truly didn’t know.

At first, I didn’t think I looked strange at all.

In fact, I thought I was quite pretty.

A look that was filled with the preferences of a goddess, no less.

…But the gazes around me continually contradicted that thought.

Starting with the family at the monastery, my colleagues in the cult, and even the heretics.

‘Because of your hair and eyes, you’ll never find another man who’d marry you!’

‘Look at her hair and eyes. It’s just too….’

‘Yeah. Really, completely….’

‘From the start, your looks don’t even make sense. It’s proof that the ones who call themselves gods are abnormal!’

They insulted me, calling me strange and alien.

The only one who positively affirmed me was Iya.

And that was the same when I returned to Earth.

‘Wow… hey, look over there….’

‘That’s insane.’

Wherever I went, there were always eyes on me, and those gazes were exactly the same as in that other world.

Until I met Bora, I had to live in the midst of such gazes.

Then my thoughts must be wrong.

I must be a strange and alien existence to people.

It was only natural to come to such a conclusion.

“Even if I don’t think so, if people say it, then it must be true….”

“Hmm. Then here’s my second question. No, should I say this is a request? Could you take off your sunglasses for a moment?”

“Ah… okay….”

My hands were trembling.

Just the thought of someone uncovering my secret filled me with fear.

Bora or her family. And I’m no longer scared of Tuni.

But I couldn’t refuse, and I shouldn’t refuse.

So I slowly took off the sunglasses and set them aside.

“Is it done…?”

“Yes. …Hmm. By any chance, Master, are you an albino?”

“Hey!”

“Ah, just listen for a second.”

“…No, I’m not.”

When I was asked in the other world if my appearance was due to an illness, Iya had told me not to worry, that it was nothing of the sort.

“It’s good that you’re not sick. Either way, let’s start… ah, I shouldn’t really be saying this. This is something meant only for the members. …Well, if my story helps someone, that’s okay. But absolutely don’t tell anyone else, okay, both of you?”

“I don’t have anyone to tell.”

“Yeah….”

“Can you tell Ga-eun or the Manager a bit? I’m going to talk for a little while and then leave.”

“Okay.”

With that, Owen cleared his throat and began speaking slowly as Tuni put a grilled piece of meat in her mouth.

“Like I mentioned earlier, my oshi… my favorite has platinum blonde hair, you know?”

“You can just casually say oshi. It means the same, right?”

“Ah, yes. Then I’ll speak comfortably. Anyway, my oshi’s hair is platinum blonde, and they talked about it during a member-only stream. They said their hair color was actually a result of dyeing. They even mentioned that their eyes were colored contacts, and I was honestly shocked….”

…Is this really an important story?

It must be, but why has there been talk about VTubers since earlier?

I don’t get it….

“And the reason for dyeing… is apparently because of being an albino. They said they were born with albinism.”

…Ah.

“When they were young, they knew they were sick to some extent. They had mentioned before that they were a sickly beautiful girl. But they only talked about their illness being albinism just now; that’s when I found out.”

“That’s…interesting, huh….”

“Yes. They said they had white hair and red eyes just like you, Master. So when I saw you for the first time, it surprised me. Well, they’re a Japanese VTuber, so I knew it was someone else all along.”

I see.

Someone with a similar appearance was already by Owen’s side.

So that’s why he asked if I was an albino.

…But how does that lead to him helping me?

What on earth does Owen want to say to me?

“Master, do you dislike your appearance?”

“…Yes.”

Of course, I hate it.

This unusual appearance. This appearance that isolates me from others.

How could I ever like it?

“It’s the same with that girl. She also used to dislike her appearance a lot.”

“…Huh?”

“Because of being albino, she was always at the hospital when she was young, and she hated her looks due to the way the hospital staff looked at her. She hated those pitying, weird stares.”

Similar appearance.

And similar experiences.

Hearing that made me focus naturally.

“But at some point, she began to think, why should I dislike my appearance?”

Before hearing that story.

“…What do you mean by that?”

“I mean, right? It’s not like she did anything wrong, so why dislike it?”

“Well, that’s true.”

“So from that moment, she started to take pride in her appearance. Something different, something special. …So I hope you think the same way as her, Master.”

Be proud of this appearance?

How could I…?

It’s actually you who are being incredibly strange, talking casually with me.

I answered with silence, conveying that sentiment.

…And Owen chuckled lightly before continuing.

“Someone who can’t accept themselves won’t be able to accept the affirmation of others. At least, that’s what I think.”

“But…. But everyone around me has been…!”

“Were you like that with your sister too?”

…Ah.

“That might be a bold thing to say, but I’m here now.”

And with Owen’s words, I could finally realize.

I see.

I was trapped in a prison I built for myself.

Even when people praised me, I had already dismissed it and thought it couldn’t be true.

“To begin with, if you look weird, then none of the girls around me are even human.”

“Do you want to die?”

“No, I mean it. If you compare them to you, they’re all animals. Except for my mom.”

There were definitely people who affirmed me.

Not just Bora, but Tuni and Owen too. In that other world, Ariel and the old man were there too.

‘She’s really cute, you know.’

Above all was Iya, who always positively affirmed me.

But I hadn’t been able to accept that, and I had erected walls around me.

Because I was different from what the preferences of the goddess dictated.

Because I was just a child.

Because of my position, it couldn’t be helped.

Because I convinced myself that people didn’t care about each other’s appearance.

I made all those excuses and built my walls.

“But that VTuber, she’s actually blonde, right?”

“She’s platinum blonde! The reason she dyed it is a whole other story, which I won’t tell you. If you’re curious, you should join the membership.”

“Sorry, but I wasn’t curious about that.”

“Geez.”

Someone who can’t accept themselves can’t accept the affirmation of others.

I wish I had figured that out sooner.

“If you weren’t so much of an otaku, it would’ve been a wonderful story.”

“You don’t have the right to say that.”

“You and I are practically a mountain apart….”

“…Tuni.”

“Yes?”

I slowly asked Tuni, who was tilting her head.

“I’m not weird, right…?”

Tuni smiled and replied.

“You’re not weird at all. In fact, I’m almost envious.”

“You should definitely be envious.”

“Do you really want to die?”

And with just that light-hearted reply, it was enough for me.

“I’ve always been told I was weird since I was a child…. That’s why I hated this hair and these eyes so much….”

“…Those people are the strange ones.”

Tuni said that and stood up, quietly hugging me.

Those arms.

Those eyes.

Were so warm.

“You’re not weird at all. I’m seriously envious to the point of jealousy. Those people are fools.”

The image of me accepting my appearance still hadn’t fully formed yet.

“I’m not weird, right…?”

“Yes. You’re not weird.”

But just being able to think that much was enough for now.

“Thank you….”

★

“I’m leaving now.”

“Eunho. Don’t let anyone else come here.”

“Why?”

“Why do you ask? You just saw a girl crying right in front of you, and you want to say something like that?”

“Ah… okay.”

“Call me before you go home. I’ll be in the car.”

“Understood.”

“Um, um… I didn’t cry, though….”

“…Oh, right.”

“Hmph.”

“I’m serious….”

I really am.

Why does it seem like neither of them believe me?

“Oh, and if you later ask me to introduce you using this as leverage, I’m gonna kill you.”

“Is it okay to say that in front of the person involved?”

“You wouldn’t understand, right?”

For some reason, both of them were looking at me.

What couldn’t they understand?

Do they not understand what I just said?

…Just how stupid do they think I am?

I meant to ask about this meat restaurant we came to celebrate my victory.

It’s really delicious because the meat is expensive, after all.

But I don’t really need to bring it up here.

It’d be pretty embarrassing to reveal my lack of knowledge to someone else….

“More than anything, it’s impossible for me to do that. No matter how much you’re my Master… I can’t compare with the one living in my heart….”

Owen said that while thumping his heart.

“…I genuinely wish sometimes that you’d just go die.”

“You say a lot of nice things, but that’s a harsh way to put it. Anyway, I’m off. See you later, Master.”

“Ah, take care. Thank you for the conversation earlier….”

“Hey, considering you helped our team, it’s really nothing. …Oh. If you want to hear that story I mentioned in more detail, you should check it out on OnTube….”

“Just get lost already!”

Tuni shouted that as she pushed Owen and slammed the door shut.

…Could it be that they’re not getting along?