A Basement-Dwelling Loser, the Inquisitor – Chapter 193

[Ede]

─Hey, bartender, make me a glass of Lax! LOL

─Lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies, lies!

─Sister, I really always wished for your happiness, but that Ga-eun dude is just wrong…

─Bartender, shake the Lax instead of stirring it!

─You’re saying those two are dating? There’s no way our Ga-eun could be taken by that lame Edde streamer! LOL

“Wow….”

Just one minute into the broadcast.
More than ten thousand viewers tune in in just a minute.

Of course, it’s understandable given the dating rumor between Ga-eun, known as the best in New Dimension, and Edde, the global PVP ranking number one. Still, it’s a number that would undoubtedly astonish anyone.
If it were me, I’d be so burdened I would have turned the broadcast off immediately.

[So shall we start slowly?]
[Yeah. Anyway, the things we need to talk about are already decided, so I don’t think we need to wait longer.]

What should I say?
Hearing about their relationship makes every little conversation seem sweet.

I’ve never been in a relationship before, so I don’t really know, but wouldn’t new couples all share that kind of vibe?

Or maybe not.

[Hmm, everyone! Hello!]

─Eha
─HㅇHㅇ
─Hello
─Hurry and tell us! I’m holding my breath because I’m so curious!

[Come on, don’t rush me! You’re not someone who watches my broadcast regularly, right?! Since there are more people today, I’m making sure to say it beforehand. I really dislike rushing in my own broadcasts; you all get banned immediately if you do!]

─Heh, LOL
─Wouldn’t it have been fine if you just came a bit earlier? (Seriously clueless)
─For real, it’s been over 10 hours since the bait was dropped, LOL
─If you go to the fan cafe now, some of the Dengjeops are holding their breath and dying. Is this reaction even right?

[Hey! Is this something I can just talk about and move on? Ga-eun, Edde, you both should be talking with me on the broadcast! Anyway, if I get rushed one more time, you’ll all get banned. I won’t hold back.]

Hmm.
Edde seems to have a kind of chaotic broadcasting style.
It’s totally the opposite of me, who always caters to what the fans want.

Of course, I think there’s no right or wrong in broadcasting styles, but watching a completely different style makes me feel a bit anxious.

If I did that, the chat window would be flooded with fire emojis.
I’d end up feeling sad and catering to the tastes of Rebongi…

Thinking about how I’m always swayed by the Rebongi, I admire how Edde can lead the broadcast in the way she wants.

[Anyway, last night? Suddenly, this story started coming up from midnight? Hmm… The one about Ga-eun and me dating.]

─Please, don’t take our Ga-eun! T_T
─What does Edde think she’s doing, trying to take our Ga-eun???

[Hey! At a time like this, shouldn’t you say you hope I’m happy?! You all used to spam in the chat that I should hurry and find a good man! No, how come all the people saying such things are Dengjeops? Isn’t that a bit much?]

─Still, that auntie is way too much for our Ga-eun.

[Hey!!! Usually, in a situation like this, the guy would get cursed at, so why am I the opposite?!]

Dengjeop.
I wonder what that means…?
I’ll have to ask later.

[Anyway! About that bait, it’s all wrong! Me and Ga-eun are just discussing PVP-related stuff? That’s pretty much all there is to it, so let’s stop the weird speculation now!]

─Where’s the evidence?
─Why the honorifics? This is so awkward; ;

[Of course, I brought the evidence. I’ll go through the posts that clarify that controversy one by one. This is a place for clarification, so please allow me to speak politely, you jerk???]

As she said this, Edde brought up a summary post about the incident on the broadcast screen.
Looking at it again makes it feel pretty plausible, which is quite scary.

[First! It’s about Rene’s stream ending, right? It was suggested that I ended it because I might accidentally reveal my relationship with Ga-eun… but that’s not true at all. Let me play the call recording for you.]

Saying that, Edde launched a file named ‘recording.’
In that file were obviously my voice and Danjangemong’s voice.

And obviously, there was no discussion about Ga-eun and Edde’s relationship at all.
Only my worried voice about whether spreading Ga-eun’s playstyle would cause problems.
Then there was Danjangemong’s voice, reassuring me that there were no issues at all.

[Did you hear that? The reason Rene ended her broadcast was not at all because of that, and afterward, she just fell asleep because she was tired. …Well, with just this clarification, can’t we consider the controversy over?]

─So unsatisfying…
─Give me back my 10 hours, give me back my 10 hours, give me back my 10 hours, give me back my 10 hours!
─Are you saying that beast analyzed Ga-eun’s playstyle?
─Whoa, d-d-d-d-d
─Global ranking NPK, watch out! LOL ‘Beast’ Rene is coming! LOL
─That was just the trigger; dating Ga-eun is a different story though? Just because that’s cleared up, doesn’t mean other evidence disappears.

[That was just the trigger… Well, that’s correct. So of course, I brought evidence related to that as well. Please wait a moment, …Here!]

This time, Edde displayed the miscode conversation history with Ga-eun on the broadcast screen.
It was just filled with business-like discussions, really.

[…Do you think this is the kind of conversation that two people in a relationship would have?]

There wasn’t completely no personal conversation, but… Hmm. Anyone looking at that conversation wouldn’t feel like they were in a relationship at all.
Even I, who knows almost nothing about love, felt that way…

─LOL
─They’re just two PVP-obsessed idiots…
─Sorry, Edde, I think I misunderstood, ㅇㅇ…
The chat window’s mood was similar too.
So the clarification perfectly wrapped up.

…In other words. Now was the time to reveal the real reason for starting the broadcast today.

[Anyway, it looks like we’ve cleared all confusion about that post.]

─So boring, what a letdown.
─Is there no hidden story?…
─Can’t we just say they’re dating? That would be way more fun, ㅇㅇ

[And since we’re on the topic, I’d like to announce something major.]

─Oh
─Is it something big???
─Did you finally make your pro debut?

[Didn’t I tell you all countless times that I’d never go pro? It’s not that… um. It’s a bit embarrassing to say, but… I’ve decided to date Ga-eun because of this whole incident.]
[Hello! I’m Ga-eun, and I’ve started dating Edde.]

─????????????????????????
─???
─What the heck is this?????

★

Upon Edde’s announcement that I was dating Ga-eun, the chat exploded into chaos.
It took a whole 30 minutes for that turbulent scene to calm down.
Longer than it took Edde to start her broadcast and clarify the controversy.

[…After confirming our mutual feelings, I confessed first.]
[Huh, hehe…]
[To be honest, I’ve had a crush on Edde since my kickboxing days. She always came to support me in almost every match, and no matter the price to travel the world, she was always there for me….]
[I fell for her at first sight… because of Ga-eun, I learned kickboxing, started in New Dimension, and became a streamer… This is officially a pure love story!]
[That’s right, haha. It’d be fun to go on a date together at a gym or something.]
[Heh…]

─Damn…
─Today’s Lax is going to end in tears! LOL
─Kuaaaah! Give me back Ga-eun! You auntie!
─Damn it, I didn’t wish for the auntie to be this happy…
─I’ll take a 2018 Lax, bartender…
─Auntie, auntie, auntie, auntie, auntie, auntie, auntie, auntie, auntie, auntie, auntie!

And as Ga-eun and Edde began sharing what had happened, there was a huge spike in viewers asking for Lax in the chat.

Well, personally, I think they make a good pair…

[It’s all thanks to Rene. Should I say she’s like the Cupido of love?]
[Hehe, saying that makes me a bit shy.]

Yeah.
But still, I wish they’d stop mentioning my name in between.

[Then let’s slowly bring out our final guest for today.]
[That’s right. Our love’s Cupido… Rene…!]

…Yeah.
Ultimately, my turn has come.

“Hello… I, I’m Rene…”

─Because of you, Ga-eun! Because of you, Ga-eun! Because of you, Ga-eun!
─Cupido of love LOL damn it LOL
─Ga-eun! I’ll just die… Keek…

[Rene, you’ve been watching the broadcast the whole time, right?]

“Yeah…”

[Thanks to you, we could be like this, and as the chat said, since you’ve become our Cupido of love, don’t you have anything to say?]

“I really congratulate you two… I hope you have a nice love for a long, long time…”

[Thank you.]
[Thanks, Rene. I hope you’ll take care of us in the future!]

─Rene, damn it, go ahead and smash the heads of those two lovebirds with Warhammer right now…

Yeah.
That choice doesn’t sound too bad…