“Excuse me? A spoon?”
—
The small conference room. The art director tilted their head in confusion at my odd proposal.
“Did you just say…a villain that uses a spoon?”
“That’s right.”
I replied calmly.
The art director continued to stare at me blankly, clearly not understanding.
“Why out of all the weapons in existence must it be a spoon…?”
“I watched a movie last night,” I explained.
“Please don’t tell me the movie was literally called ‘Spoon Murderer’?”
People like you who pick up on things too quickly are annoying, you know.
You’re surprisingly spot-on.
An old movie that briefly became an internet sensation – Spoon Murderer. It’s a comedy where the protagonist gets continuously harassed by nothing but a spoon.
The spoon, an incredibly ineffective weapon, slowly and inefficiently beats the protagonist over and over again. There’s no real lethal damage.
As a result, the protagonist spends their entire life being tormented by the spoon murderer, unable to die. No matter where they go or what they do, the spoon murderer always shows up.
Inspired by this, I thought it might be fun to have a third-rate villain like that in our game.
“So you kind of get the idea… But does it have to be a spoon?”
“Is there a problem?”
“It just lacks any real style, you know. What could possibly be done with just a spoon…?”
“We’ll make it stylish.”
“Ugh, seriously…!”
Unable to bear it any longer, the art director frowned deeply, tapping the desk with both fists.
“Does this really seem like it’ll sell? Last month’s featured product sales hit rock bottom! Don’t we need a proper rebound this time?”
“Oh, so Manager Kang is capable of worrying about company sales now? I’m actually touched. I thought you were planning on leaving soon.”
“Director, you’re the one making me want to leave for the first time!”
Huff, huff. The art director was out of breath from raising their voice too much.
This is why desk jobs can be scary. Look at their poor stamina. We should probably make them exercise soon.
“Don’t get too worked up. Sales that hit rock bottom will eventually rise again.”
“Are you really confident about this…? With a spoon…?”
“What else is there but to try and see what happens? That’s my style, right?”
“Please don’t forget that we’re the ones suffering because of that style of yours…”
The art director took a deep breath. Appearing a bit calmer, they lowered their voice and asked me again.
“So, do you have any sort of strategy in mind…?”
“Of course. Obviously.”
“And what exactly is it?”
The art director narrowed their eyes.
Smiling, I said,
“We’ll release him as a limited character. We make sure his appearance is decent as well.”
“…”
Now the art director tilted their head back, lacking even the energy to argue. Their long hair hung in the air like a bunch of seaweed strands.
Let’s have some abalone seaweed soup for lunch today, perhaps.
“Director, please…”
“It’s possible, alright? If Manager Kang does a good job, we can have a major success with this pick-up.”
Given the nature of subculture games, having a good-looking face takes care of about half the battle. The other half will be the charm we show during the game.
I chose the spoon as his charm point.
A persistent, third-rate villain desperately clinging to the protagonist like the spoon murderer from the movie. I wanted to create a jester who doesn’t know how to quit.
“This is where Manager Kang’s strength is truly needed. That’s why I specifically called you here today.”
“…”
The art director looked around the small conference room. There were only two people present – me, the general director, and the art director. Just the two of us.
“Sigh… All right, let’s try it once.”
The art director picked up the pen and began to jot something on a blank sheet of paper.
“Villain, right? Since our protagonist Arna is female, this one will be a male character… Ah, what’s this guy’s name?”
“Shin Yoon-seong.”
“So, let’s go with something Korean…”
With just a few simple strokes, the outline of a character already appeared.
Pro-level, as expected.
“Should I draw him as good-looking? You know this, right?”
“I know. You said earlier that he needs to be good-looking to sell. But what about the spoon? Teaspoon? Or a rice spoon? What size?”
The central weapon concept. The spoon is confirmed. Now comes the matter of what kind of spoon it should be.
And of course here, …
“Rice spoon. Stainless steel. Please draw it as basic as possible.”
“Wow, imagine this guy brandishing a rice spoon in battle… Honestly, I can’t stop laughing.”
“That’s the point.”
With a perfectly normal physique and a completely non-threatening spoon, he will torment our protagonist.
As long as it’s funny, that’s all that matters. Other factors are unnecessary. We’ll focus solely on making the users happy.
“I made a rough sketch. How does it look?”
The result came out. That a masterpiece like this can be done with just a line makes me excited for the final complete version.
“Hmm, it’s perfect. The height is just right, the hair is full, exactly what I imagined.”
“Is that so? To me, it just feels strange. Look at this rice spoon. It’s like it’s trying to test someone’s eyesight…”
The art director, looking less than satisfied, tapped on the spoon section.
“Still, is this really going to work? Won’t PD say something about it?”
“PD…”
The general producer.
The person who basically just sweeps around the village like a local chief before finishing their patrol.
The guy who disappears right before the user feedback meeting to avoid any complaints, then uses me as a shield.
And worst of all, the guy who ate all the precious homeroom Home Run Balls by himself.
I love Home Run Balls so much.
“Director? You suddenly look gloomy. Are you okay?”
“PD… no, I’ll handle PD properly.”
“Hey, were you about to call him a son of a… No?”
“Let’s call it a day now, lunch is ready.”
Quickly organizing the meeting documents, I stood up. The art director followed suit.
“Director, hold on.”
“Hmm?”
Just as I was about to leave the meeting room, the art director called me back.
Is there something else to say?
“Devoting yourself to work like this is good, but… Sometimes take care of your body as well.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“I’m just asking you to sleep a bit. You stayed at the office all night last night, didn’t you?”
Next, the art director brushed off the white dust from my shoulder.
“The same clothes as yesterday, messy hair… You clearly stayed up all night.”
This is why people with good perception are annoying.
I waved my hands to tell them not to worry.
“I’ll go to a sauna during lunch. I’ll catch a nap there.”
“Look, you should take care of your health while you have a chance. See? You’re already wobbling. If you faint for real…”
Bang!
“Director!”
I didn’t even get the time to take care of myself.
Right after the art director warned me, I lost consciousness right there.
Damn.
I haven’t even deleted all the adult content from my hard drive, and now I have to deal with this situation.
—
*
—
The XXth National Magic Power Utilization Competition – Senior Division
Grand Prize Winner, Second-year Combat Division Arna Kristin Dotir
Han-yul Military Academy
—
“Shit… It completely failed.”
After fully understanding the situation, the first word I muttered in this world was that.
It’s a complete failure.
Everything around me was alien – active holograms scattered everywhere, students in uniforms walking about, military vehicles openly transporting weapons and ammunition right down the middle of the road.
This isn’t the world I lived in.
To be precise, this was the world within the game <Tyr One> released by my company.
Is my body still intact?
No, the degenerate body I had is nowhere to be found now.
The messy hair and the tired eyes have disappeared.
Instead, reflected on my phone – jet-black hair like ink, pale skin, sharp eyes.
It was exactly the face of Shin Yoon-seong drawn just moments ago by the art director.
I’ve become Shin Yoon-seong.
I’ve turned into the third-rate villain we just created.
Out of all the characters, why did I have to possess this clown?
This must be divine punishment.
What should I do now? Should I continue to live as Shin Yoon-seong?
The thick tresses are particularly strange. Isn’t it somewhat too blessed for me to suddenly have such hair?
—
“Damn fool…”
Getting hung up on a single strand of hair. This is already a world filled with monsters and lesser monsters. One mistaken step and I could perish.
Though, I’ve already fallen once in a way.
If I had known this would happen, I should have made a more peaceful world. Or better yet, I should not have been involved in this game from the beginning.
I wish they had just quietly made a dating simulation; why did I choose to meddle with this game looking for some sort of glory?
—
“Shin Yoon-seong, what are you doing here?”
While I was sitting alone on the bench drowning in despair, a male student in a uniform called out to me.
“Didn’t you have an evaluation match with Arna today?”
“Arna…?”
That familiar name. Arna Kristin Dotir of <Tyr One>.
Are you telling me I have an evaluation match with her right now?
—
“Stop pretending you don’t know. You were the one who started it, challenging her. Don’t tell me you’re building suspense so you can no-show?”
“…”
Perfect timing for crap. Right after arriving, I already have to tangle with the protagonist.
What a cursed game this is. The person who made this must be a devil.
Ah, I’m the devil that made this.
“Hmm…”
Anyway, it seems like I have to participate in some kind of evaluation match…
Should I just no-show? I’m probably going to lose anyway. Is there any need to go there just to get beat up?
Ding!
—
Quest: Duty of a Villain
Proceed with the evaluation match against Arna Kristin Dotir.
—
Completion Reward: <SP Point 1>, <Arna's overall stat +1>
Failure Penalty: <Seizure of 1,000 eyebrow hairs>
—
“…”
1,000 eyebrow hairs to be confiscated?
There’s an even more devilish person here, isn’t there?
