Elsi was small. She had been that way since the day she was born.
The Rainelle Clan was a prestigious magical family, but it was renowned for its imposing presence. Among the seven siblings, Elsi was the only one born with a petite physique.
Including her only younger brother, Lupin, there were only two of them. If they had been born into an ordinary family, they might have grown up receiving more love, but the Rainelle Clan was not ordinary.
The world of high nobility is cold.
They were people who calculated familial loyalty based on political advantages. There was no exception in the competition for succession, and from a young age, they were trained in the art of slander and intrigue.
No sympathy was given to those born weak. Elsi was naturally overlooked and even grew up being beaten.
It was unfair. Though she was not even ten years old, Elsi, who was exceptionally clever, knew the truth. Being born weak was not her fault.
If a crime had to be identified, it would lie with Elsi’s parents. But even her parents did not protect her. Instead, they overlooked the bullying directed at Elsi.
As long as the line wasn’t crossed, establishing a hierarchy among siblings was seen as a natural occurrence. This was common sense in the world of high nobility. Elsi found it unbearably sorrowful.
Every time her older brothers and sisters brushed past her, patting her shoulders, and every time they laughed at her for being a little girl, Elsi gritted her teeth.
She cried many tears. Elsi was as soft on the inside as she was on the outside. A timid and small brat, yet the conviction that she could not simply endure this state of affairs lifted her up.
She would remember.
The Rainelle Clan was a family of magical nobility. In the long journey of seeking truth, innate physical ability was nothing more than a trivial condition.
True talent lay in the brain and magical power alone. The clever Elsi knew well that the petite body and weak strength were of no significance.
So, she locked herself in the library at all costs.
Even the subtle scheming of her siblings could not deter her fierce resolve. It took years for the disdainful and wary glances toward her to be transformed into jealousy and awe.
Elsi entered the Academy. There, among all the talented individuals of the continent, she began to stand out.
Both the Rainelle Clan and the Academy were no different in their meritocratic ideals.
Soon, her treatment within the family improved dramatically. After entering the Academy, she even garnered a group of followers.
The only thing Elsi had to do now was one thing.
Revenge, a just bloodletting for the resentment engraved in her heart.
Elsi returned the disdain and misery she had endured during that time. No, it was even more than that. Elsi no longer wanted to be overlooked.
Yet she harbored a subtle fear.
What if her opponents were cunning, like she had been during her childhood?
What would she do if they grew stronger and came back to take revenge on Elsi later?
Because she was both a victim and an offender, she knew. It was not entirely impossible, so the fact that she was just a timid and cowardly girl only fueled her aggression further.
She would smash them, so they wouldn’t be able to rebel again.
It was ironic. Elsi’s cruelty stemmed from her anxiety. The fear of maybe returning to her childhood transformed her into more of a demon.
The only exception in this chain of violence was her younger brother, Lupin.
He was the one who had been bullied alongside her since childhood, the one who always called her “sister” and followed her.
Elsi cherished Lupin more than anyone. From the times they were both being bullied, Elsi had seen him as someone she needed to protect. That’s why she moved with heavy steps that day.
It was news that a low-ranking noble dared to touch her brother.
The man looked like a young noble. True to the swordsmanship department, he was quite tall, and though his muscles weren’t bulky, they were solid.
With black hair and striking golden eyes, he greeted Elsi with a disinterested attitude. In the meantime, his junior had the audacity to ask him to leave.
It wasn’t bad. Elsi liked strong people like him. Their strength, unbreakable, was something she both admired and felt was absent in her own being.
So, she enjoyed breaking such strong individuals as well.
She could finally understand that they weren’t truly strong; under excessive violence, anyone could become weak.
She sought reassurance that it wasn’t just her who was weak, something Elsi had always longed for. She thought that this day would be the same.
Until the moment the man lifted the axe.
It was a shocking ambush. In the brief moment of inattention, screams and bl**d burst from behind her, and before she knew it, the man charged at her.
Even so, it was too late. Elsi was not a rookie; she quickly covered herself with her shield.
She thought it was over. Despite having some hidden tricks up her sleeve, she was complacent, believing she could not lose to him.
So when she was knocked down along with her shield, Elsi couldn’t regain her senses.
Every time the axe blade glimmered, her shield shattered violently. Shards of mana spread like glass fragments. Beneath it all, Elsi could only let out screams.
It didn’t take long for her shield to break.
When she regained her senses, only the raised axe was visible. Elsi recalled the long-forgotten fear for the first time in ages.
The humiliation she had to endure as a child, when she was vulnerable.
That shame was now turning back on her. The dampened fears laced through her mind started returning her to that timid and cowardly day.
She was terrified. So, Elsi apologized.
She acknowledged her mistakes and accepted her defeat.
She could endure the humiliation as long as she remembered it to return it later. It was something she had experienced countless times before.
At least, until the man opened his mouth.
“Senior Elsi, what did you just say?”
His breath was ragged, and his golden eyes cutting through the crowd were unbearably cold. Elsi froze at that steady gaze.
He was serious. That look sought to inflict raw violence.
It was something Elsi had feared most. The existence she had dismissed as weak was now returning the violence she acted upon others.
Having seen countless humans ruined by pain and violence, Elsi could hardly imagine herself in that situation; at that moment, the shell of cruelty she had painstakingly built shattered.
She was scared. He seemed intent on killing her. There was no chance for revenge.
Elsi Rainelle’s life was on the brink of ending.
With nothing left behind.
Elsi pleaded. She begged for her life, crying that she was wrong. Yet, his gaze remained unyielding.
In the last moment, as the axe struck, Elsi tightly closed her eyes. Tears streamed down her face. That was the essence of Elsi as a girl.
A coward, weak, the voice that had criticized herself countless times during her childhood resurfaced.
She didn’t want to d*e.
She pretended to be strong in vain. If only she had faced the situation more honestly instead of recklessly charging in.
The sharp sound of a blade striking echoed at that moment.
Elsi’s trembling eyes turned aside. The axe blade was embedded right next to her. She almost wet herself on the spot.
She looked up at the man with a tear-streaked face. He still wore an indifferent expression.
“…There won’t be a next time.”
It was the moment Elsi crumbled.
After that day, the mockery and criticisms directed at Elsi revived. Just like in her childhood.
Elsi responded desperately. One by one, she sought out those who dared to insult her and crushed them, resorting to even harsher violence to prove her fearsome nature.
Yet, the voices that belittled her always followed her like shadows.
She was terrified. She didn’t want to return to her childhood.
The life-threatening experience she felt that day mixed together with the nightmares of her youth. It was like the memories of fear, sticky like mud, began to cover her mind and heart.
Ian Fercurus, she feared him. So very much.
So, when he came looking for her again, Elsi felt an urge to run away crying. She didn’t want to follow him. But the fear, magnified by sleepless nights, stripped her of her rebellious spirit.
Her heart raced when she saw the hand axe again. Her trembling legs made her sit down unbidden. Before that axe, Elsi had to revert to the timid girl of her childhood.
Yet, there was one difference from that time.
The hand that patted her head. A warm comfort and reassurance she had never received in her childhood.
Every time she saw the hand axe, Elsi would revert to that weak girl. But in the touch that patted her, she received more reassurance than ever.
It felt good. It was an emotion she thought she would never receive.
After gaining strength, the people of the world only sought to use her. Or they regarded her with glances filled with fear and hostility.
Thinking about it, the life Elsi dreamed of was not like this.
She merely didn’t want to be neglected. How she ended up this way, she could not understand.
It was around that time that she began to associate with the man named Ian Fercurus.
It was shameful and painful. She had gritted her teeth for the showdown with her rival, Delphine, but after sitting on the throne for too long, her fierce spirit had faded.
But she thought it would be alright. Elsi was strong, and she was a genius.
That was a misunderstanding. In the ambush, Elsi was defeated once again. She had to helplessly watch her companions, with whom she had spent days together, meet calamity.
Once again, she felt as if she was returning to her miserable childhood. A girl who did nothing but scream.
It was then that the man rose.
It was a miracle. Covered in bl**d, battered and bruised. It was already normal for him to have fallen. Yet, he did not collapse.
In the face of that inexplicable ferocity, Elsi had no choice but to keep her mouth shut. As he took down Permian, Olmar, and Aisia in succession, she saw him defeat Delphine.
He was strong.
Not in brute force, but in spirit. It was a strength Elsi could never possess.
He was magnificent.
She admired him without realizing it. If his previous defeat was merely due to fear, Elsi finally accepted that she was completely beaten. It was an acceptance and submission.
Ian Fercurus was above Elsi Rainelle.
From the moment that thought was etched in her mind, Elsi worked hard to gain his recognition.
Even when he sent her on trivial errands at the orphanage, she followed without complaint. Occasionally, she would grumble out of longing for his touch, but fundamentally, Elsi was rather obedient to Ian.
She was yearning for the love and recognition she had never received from her parents in her childhood. She hoped Ian would affirm her existence.
That was why she grew even angrier. Elsi had no way to forgive anyone who touched her.
That was how she had learned to live. Hadn’t Ian broken her in that way?
She wanted recognition. But Ian did not side with her simply because the opponent was a child.
Because he claimed that the opponent was a child, she ought to let it go?
What about her own childhood? Elsi felt a surge of emotion.
She wanted to pound her chest and plead, to show what the neglected and bullied child had become.
She had to trample them. Only then could she avoid being hurt.
In her anger, she couldn’t see anything around her. So, what she saw next was sharp, silvery claws reflecting the moonlight.
And the man who leapt into them.
Ian collapsing while bleeding.
Scenes of everything came rushing back into Elsi’s mind like pages of an album being turned.
Before she knew it, Elsi was sobbing, holding onto the fallen Ian.
“Are, are you… alright? Huh, hey!”
The man managed to open his eyes. And he smiled faintly, as if it were nothing to worry about.
“Call… me a noblewoman…”
The appearance of Ian from that night haunted Elsi for a very long time.
Even when lying down, he came to mind; even when closing her eyes, he lingered.
When eating, Ian’s smile on the pool of bl**d arose in her thoughts, and the same happened in moments of daze.
The only reflection Elsi held was one question.
Why?
Why did he throw himself to save her?
Was she not a rotten and selfish girl? A violent embodiment of a “little villain” that couldn’t even tolerate a child.
Elsi had feelings for Ian. He was a person she wanted to be recognized by, an object of admiration.
However, being a coward by nature, she could not even imagine him throwing his life away to save her when he was in danger.
He would surely cry out in fear, yet how could Ian do such a thing?
She could not understand it at all. So, when Elsi heard the news that Ian had awakened two days later, she walked over in a daze.
But why did she lose her courage standing at the door?
Her heart raced, and anxiety gripped her. Her hands trembled uncontrollably.
What was happening? Elsi could not even comprehend the nature of this feeling.
It was then that she heard the man’s voice.
“…Senior Elsi.”
At that soft voice, Elsi turned to look at him. His golden eyes were fixed on her without a word.
The lively atmosphere of laughter and joy became quiet, as if it were a lie. Soon, there were only Ian and Elsi in the hospital room.
The world was so different. Some people were concerned even when standing still, but Elsi was not among them.
That’s why Elsi had to ask in a voice that was even more timid.
“…Why did you save me?”
Even after speaking, she thought, Oh no.
It was such an abbreviated statement. No apologies, no gratitude, none of the other mixed feelings.
Even she thought her tone was rude, and Elsi felt distressed. It hadn’t been so bad before, but today she was overly concerned with how she appeared to Ian.
But the man showed no sign of caring about that.
Instead, he responded calmly. As if it were nothing, immediately.
“Just because.”
Elsi’s eyes went blank.
