“Please, sit over here.”
“…….”
Sitting on the bed, Laura shyly said this while patting the spot next to her.
Professor Antorelli quietly watched her for a moment before spotting a chair placed in the corner by the dressing table. He pulled it over and sat in front of the bed.
At that, Laura’s expression became something to behold. Even facing the stiffened face of Laura, Professor Antorelli spoke nonchalantly.
“I’m drenched.”
“…Ah.”
Though it was somewhat dry, his clothes were definitely soaked, dripping drops of water.
Seeing that, Laura nodded in understanding and suddenly stood up from the bed, retrieving a magic wand from the drawer of the bedside table.
“It’s not my specialty, but….”
She lightly waved the wand, and an exceedingly simple magic circle materialized in the air, wrapping around Professor Antorelli’s body. He could have been startled by the sudden magic, but instead, he waited quietly for Laura to finish her spell.
Eventually, the magic circle opened up. A warm breeze wafted from it, drying his wet clothes and body.
“Thank you.”
“…It’s nothing.”
With that, their conversation ceased, and Laura found herself in an awkward situation once again.
“Adelheit Student.”
“Yes, Professor.”
“I heard you wanted to meet me.”
Professor Antorelli directed his gaze toward Laura. Unable to meet his eyes, she shyly looked away.
It was true that she had told her father she wanted to meet Professor Antorelli.
When she heard that he would personally visit her after receiving Laura’s request, she felt nothing but joy.
She thought he would free her from the mysterious pain that plagued her, recurring nightmares of Cesar’s death. But…
‘…What should I say?’
Laura couldn’t figure out how to start the conversation. Her lips trembled.
“Uh… that is….”
“Adelheit Student.”
“Yes?”
Laura raised her head and looked at Professor Antorelli. His indifferent face was staring directly at her.
“Would you care to see this?”
His gaze fell to where something was located.
“Ah….”
A softly glowing golden orb. It possessed both warmth and tranquility, in geometrically perfect form. It was a golden flower that radiated the beauty of harmony.
The golden flower that blossomed from Professor Antorelli’s hand began to gently illuminate Laura’s dim room. She stared at it, mesmerized.
The day at the beginning of the semester, when Professor Antorelli scolded Laura. The day they first met.
In other words, the day that marked the beginning of all the theological classes they shared.
That day, Professor Antorelli showed the first-year Class A students this beautiful golden flower, made from divine energy.
Proof of faith. The flower of the beginning; that was it.
As the comfortable and warm energy flowed from it, Laura’s mind began to wander before she suddenly snapped back to reality.
– Due to the battle that day, Lucio now bore a semi-permanent injury on his right shoulder. He mentioned that every time he used divine power, it hurt like he would faint.
The fact that Cesar Li had taken Laura hostage came back to her.
Laura’s complexion paled. Absently admiring the flower, she recalled the unsettling memory and looked back at Professor Antorelli.
She was certain she heard him say he would feel faint every time he used divine power. The pain severe enough to make someone faint…
Without understanding Laura’s feelings, Professor Antorelli asked,
“Are you calm now?”
Laura felt her heart drop. With a panicked expression, she shouted.
“Pro, Professor…! It’s okay now, please stop!”
Perhaps sensing something from her urgent expression, the divine energy that had emanated from Professor Antorelli faded away. Laura unconsciously let out a sigh of relief.
“Ha….”
To her, Professor Antorelli asked with a stern face.
“Since when have you known?”
“Ah.”
Laura studied his expression. It was a stiff, unyielding expression, the kind one makes when they’ve been caught exposing their flaws.
“The, the fact that Cesar Li….”
“Huh….”
Professor Antorelli let out a deep sigh. To Laura’s eyes, it appeared as though he was barely holding back his curses.
“Whatever you heard from Cesar is not true.”
“Didn’t you just ask me when I found out?”
“…….”
Why was he telling lies that would soon be exposed?
Was it such a secret that he desperately wanted to hide? Laura’s expression grew complicated as she gazed at Professor Antorelli.
“Does it hurt a lot?”
“…It’s bearable.”
“That’s not what I was asking.”
Laura looked into Professor Antorelli’s sunken eyes. His dark brown irises were so deep they appeared black. She had thought they were just black, but upon closer inspection, that wasn’t the case.
It seemed one could only understand something’s true nature by looking closely. Laura thought she was realizing this truth far too late.
“How long have you lived with such pain? Alone….”
Professor Antorelli met Laura’s bright red eyes for a brief moment before casually averting his gaze. A string of half-hearted excuses spilled from his mouth.
“It’s been several years now. All the wounds have healed, and according to the doctor, there has been improvement… So really, it’s fine.”
“…Is that so?”
“More importantly, Adelheit Student.”
Professor Antorelli’s gaze sharpened. It had been a long time since she faced such a firm resolve in his dark eyes.
“What do you think of Cesar?”
What does she think of Cesar?
In other words, what does she think about what he did to Laura? What did she think about his actions in wanting revenge on the Duke of Adelheit?
That was Professor Antorelli’s first question.
“I think it was justified. What my father did… It’s disgusting, even in my eyes.”
“…….”
“This time, can I ask a question?”
Professor Antorelli didn’t agree, but right now, Laura was oblivious to that. She aggressively threw her question at him.
“You said just a moment ago that you would acknowledge it.”
That he would admit he was wrong. Professor Antorelli had indeed said that when he entered Laura’s room.
“Can I know what that means?”
Professor Antorelli looked at Laura without a word. Laura didn’t back down, maintaining eye contact.
A strange silence hung in the air as they locked eyes, and eventually, it was Professor Antorelli who surrendered.
“…It’s literal. I mean that I will admit I was wrong.”
“So, what exactly was wrong…?”
“The feelings I had about Cesar’s death. My sadness, anger… all of it was hypocrisy.”
Professor Antorelli’s eyes were filled with waves.
Emotions of regret stemming from the past. Laura could neither comprehend this emotional turmoil nor find the words.
“I will admit it all.”
Professor Antorelli lowered his head, his gaze vanishing.
“Thinking back, it has always been this way.”
He spoke.
Feelings stemming from Helena’s death had dragged on stubbornly, reaching today.
Feelings that arose from Cesar’s death had, in fact, been close to hypocrisy.
In other words, Cesar’s death had merely been an excuse for those emotions.
“I was angry at Helena and Cesar’s deaths, and I felt guilty.”
“That’s the same for me….”
“Not the same. The guilt I felt is fundamentally different from what you, Adelheit Student, feel.”
Professor Antorelli’s fingers trembled as they fidgeted. His right hand, tightly clenched by his left, started to shake.
“Everyone said it wasn’t your fault; it was unavoidable. They all said that.”
“…….”
“Isn’t it funny? Despite hearing that, I still tried to compromise with myself.”
The attitude of trying to compromise with one’s emotions. Claiming it was unavoidable, in the end, became a double standard that bled into acceptance.
“It has tormented me so much that I’ve denied it all this time. I have always thought that compromise was a cowardly act. But….”
Now, it might be too late for that. Professor Antorelli raised his head.
“Who will ease my guilt? Who will forgive me? Realizing that, I suddenly felt a sense of relief.”
He had been angry at Helena’s death and felt guilty.
No one would be left to forgive the sins that weighed down on Professor Antorelli.
She was already gone.
“That’s why I choose to acknowledge it.”
The anger he felt towards Cesar’s death. The guilt that stemmed from that anger.
That it was all manipulated emotion. That his dissent about Cesar’s choice was wrong.
Cesar had made his own choice.
He thought deeply, sharpened the blade of revenge for that day, and gathered allies. The acknowledgment of his own thoughts regarding Cesar, claiming it was hypocrisy.
Laura understood Professor Antorelli’s words. He continued.
“Adelheit Student. While the one who could forgive me is gone, you still have someone who can forgive you.”
Laura’s heart raced fiercely.
Thud. Thud.
Just once, twice. Her heart, which began to race as if in a wild sprint, Laura couldn’t calm.
“Ah….”
Staring blankly at Professor Antorelli, her mouth opened slightly.
It felt as though her heart would tear apart.
She felt pain knowing his past, and was hurt that it involved the deaths of Helena and Cesar, a substantial part of that past.
And it pained her that Cesar’s anger had turned towards her. Surely, it had been so.
‘The only one who can forgive me….’
Someone who would free her from her inexplicable guilt. Laura’s gaze naturally turned toward that person.
That was the man sitting in front of her.
With his tousled hair, the glasses that seemed to be put on in a hurry, and his sunken eyes. At first, she disliked everything about him. Professor Lucio Antorelli.
Only he could forgive and comfort Laura. Only he could embrace her wounds.
“Laura von Adelheit. I… forgive you.”
“Ah, um….”
Laura could hardly continue her words. And no wonder….
“Forgive, me… I….”
Because of the tears trickling from Professor Antorelli’s eyes, clouds lingered in his eyes for a moment, like a sudden downpour.
“I forgive you… I forgive you….”
Repeating just those words, Professor Antorelli cried. His body slowly slumped.
Seeing that, Laura felt an unexpected pang in her chest.
“Th-thank you….”
As if the rain had suddenly stopped, a faint ray of sunlight filtered through the window of Laura’s room. Bathed in it, Laura seemed to shed tears perhaps as the last pain inflicted upon her.
The final phantom pain that haunted Laura vanished just like that.
