Streamers. Among them, there is a tradition-like culture especially popular among beginners.
When you hit your first year of debut, you look back on your very first broadcast.
Most of the time, it’s filled with non-stop screaming as you can’t bear the embarrassment.
After all, isn’t that just how people are?
Revisiting your immature past self, a time you’d rather not remember, is quite a shameful experience.
Naturally, I was no exception.
“Ugh… Uuuuh…”
An unexpected mental attack.
Words didn’t come easily due to the embarrassment. My brain froze as if it had a bug.
In the video, I’m seen raising my arms, showing my armpits. On top of that, I’m fidgeting with my fingers, my mouth curving up drunkenly, a beaming smile on my face exuding happiness.
Oh no.
It happened during a battle.
Because my face was heating up, I missed a critical timing.
Worse still, my dagger’s trajectory slightly twisted, dealing insufficient damage to the Energy Mage, who in turn stepped back with a puzzled look.
“Ah, but… isn’t that a foul?”
– What’s with the voice lol
– Just a female prodigy
– (Message deleted by admin)
– Wow, good reactions at this house
– Maiden actions
“If you keep sending videos like this, I’ll block you.”
What in the world did I find so amusing back then?
In the video, my voice sounds embarrassingly sweet, a tone I’ve never heard myself use.
No, I wasn’t exactly unaware, either. I was having trouble keeping my cool while just receiving compliments on my skills earlier too.
Honestly, it was still nice to realize that people liked me. It wasn’t completely bad.
Then and now, I’ve always needed people’s attention and affection. These things are incredibly precious to me; my heart melts just from receiving them.
But shame is still shame, after all.
I didn’t want to keep watching such videos.
When I think back to that time… it feels strange somehow.
My spine shivers from shame, but a warm sensation rises from my lower abdomen.
It’s awkward. This is, after all, my historic first broadcast. I didn’t want to look disheveled at this moment.
With strained voice, I asserted myself.
“I don’t think saying this means I’m going to lose.”
Due to the missed timing earlier, the Energy Mage got an opportunity to counter.
An aqua wave is racing toward me.
That color indicates a skill that triggers an explosion and area-wide slowing effect. It seems their intent is to alter the combat dynamics rather than inflict immediate damage.
Can I dodge this with just movement?
It might be a bit too late for that. I need to either counter with my own skill or block the explosion outright.
There was no need to overthink.
Energy Mage. A class designed for maximizing effectiveness against Shield-type opponents.
The wave precisely made contact with the edge of my blade at consistent intervals. A somewhat heavy sensation confirmed the successful block, and the wave dissipated.
I promptly interrupted their follow-up with a thrown dart.
Now, I must regain the initiative…
“Supporter Clevor donates 10,000 won”
“(Attached video: Gawol showing collarbone)”
“Could you just pour me a drink?”
…And then I need to.
The corner of my vision catches the sight of white skin. Her collarbone, beautifully extended from a neck slightly flushed from intoxication, is exposed.
Did even Sansa think she went too far this time?
The donation feed cut off and a three-hour exile was imposed. But the memory already seen doesn’t just disappear.
“Hnnn…”
– Judge, she was the one who tempted first
– (Message deleted by admin)
– She seems surprisingly transparent from her reactions lololol
The battle shouldn’t be this hard.
I keep losing momentum, my advantageous position slipping away bit by bit. And my opponent isn’t stupid – they don’t let such chances go easily.
It hurts my pride.
It’s like I’m struggling against a low-level mob.
My opponent’s not terrible, but they’re not especially good either. I should’ve already crippled their mobility when I drew my weapon. Now, with frustration building, I bite my lips.
“Really, this is too much…”
In this match, I absolutely refuse to let it end without a true fight.
[Victory]
[Black 68 RP → 89 RP]
Releasing the tension from my thighs, the Energy Mage’s body collapsed helplessly. I nudged the now lifeless corpse with my foot. Lying down on the floor, I finally felt some relief.
I’ve won.
Thankfully.
“Haa… That was close. Still, successful once again?”
[Remaining Health: 100%]
To be honest, there were many critical moments.
My winning condition in this match wasn’t simply eliminating the opponent, but avoiding all strikes entirely.
I initially planned for an aggressive quick battle, but the influence of the donation videos made that impossible.
The videos should have been just a few.
I thought Sansa would manage after the collarbone exposure, but instead, she added the donor’s name to the list, establishing a “standard.”
Still, humans are adaptable beings.
The relentless mental attacks eventually became somewhat tolerable through repeated exposure.
A fight that would have normally lasted just three minutes.
Once I adapted to the donations, I fully regained control. Consequently, there was no need to roll the punishment roulette.
– gg
– All excitement’s gone
– Boring
– This is rigged
– Lie lie lie lie lie lie
“Puh.”
No matter how much the viewers complain, my mind doesn’t change.
Rules are rules, that’s why they exist. If I easily break my promise to viewers and act arbitrarily, that would be problematic. It’s not just about losing goodwill; the entertainment value of the broadcast itself could disappear.
Therefore, the confident smile I wear now is all for the stream.
I turned off the video donations right after the game finished, so there’s no chance of further mental attacks.
“I see a lot of dissatisfaction, but a promise is a promise. Despite how regretful it is to me not fulfilling your expectations… there’s nothing to be done.”
Just this time, I didn’t quite think it through.
A rank game is an environment full of variables. When the opposing team peaks, it’s often because our team has bottomed out. More importantly, I was now the primary target for many Snipers.
This is when I was building my winning streak, having surpassed 300 RP.
Whether it was due to bad timing, or intentional, I suspect the latter.
With the report filed, the details will be left for the company to judge.
What’s certain is that it was a team member’s attack that pierced my shoulder. And the timing was particularly abusive.
An untrustworthy ally.
To compound the problem, the opposing team users targeted me quite persistently. Still thinking I could manage, my pledge to avoid all deaths was too careless.
[Victory]
[Black 297 RP → 315 RP]
[d*ath: 1]
Thanks to the Snipers’ efforts, I recorded a single d*ath.
It was a hollow victory.
“But, isn’t it against the rules? They hit our team, not me!”
– ??? : A promise is a promise.
– ??? : It was very regretful not to meet the viewers’ expectations.
– lolololololololololol
– Should we spin the roulette?
– Sansa: Spin itSpin itSpin itSpin itSpin it
The world kept tormenting me.
Right. Rules are rules.
If I made a promise, I need to keep it.
Ultimately, I put up the punishment roulette on the streaming screen.
The Sansa visible in the chat window was quite annoying.
‘Traitor. You deceived me.’
– Shall we add this? It seems… inappropriate.
– Anyway, we decided not to spin it, right?
– Still, you never know.
– No, even so, it’s better to put in something bold. Isn’t that how we keep viewers’ excitement up?
– That, yes.
When deciding the punishments, Sansa rather enthusiastically persuaded me.
While I was the one to ultimately choose… generally, people need to be able to blame others a bit to maintain mental health. Especially someone as unbalanced as me; it’s good to blame others when you can.
“Anyway, I’ll spin it. I’ll wrap up the stream for today.”
Watching the roulette spin round and round, I felt somewhat tired.
Please, at the very least, let something doable come up.
Just in case, I added a few relatively easy options.
Things like ‘miss’ or ‘sing a song’ are something I could probably attempt.
As the roulette’s speed slows down, the potential penalties begin to narrow down.
‘Wear school uniform during broadcast’ eliminated instantly.
Instead, the ‘miss’ or ‘singing’ I hoped for disappeared quickly from the list.
Even ‘broadcast with collar’ fell off the contender list.
Super spicy ramen challenge.
Wearing nurse outfit.
3-hour chat session calling viewers ‘master’.
Terrifying options were being removed one by one, but my situation didn’t improve.
The final chosen penalty was ‘public cosplay picture release’. The exact character is still undecided.
“This requires some preparation. It’ll be tough immediately. I’ll do it when I’m ready…”
With the penalty decided, that’s it.
It’s time to really end the broadcast.
I had thought out our farewell message for quite a while.
“I’ll be going now. Our farewell message is this. Hmm. …I love you.”
I’ll always say I love you when closing the broadcast.
There will definitely be someone who replies in kind.
When the chat fills with loving words… I’ll surely feel happy.
– Woa
– I love you too
– Woa
Oh no.
I can already feel my tension easing.
