The illusions of my companions flicker before my eyes. By now, I’m quite used to this sight, so I know what will appear next. First is Yuna, then Akashi. And the last one…
An illusion of a companion appears. Then, behind me, an illusion of myself emerges, responding to the companion’s words with envy and jealousy, contradicting them while they rebuke such behavior.
– I’m disappointed in you, Myungho. I thought you wouldn’t resort to such methods. You’re no different from other men, are you?
You don’t understand how it feels to not have something. Don’t deny it. Isn’t the arm and the iron bow proof enough?
One who has nothing can only resort to this. Don’t look down on me with that contemptuous expression. Do you understand the emptiness of someone who lacks everything?
– Did you think I was special? No, not at all. I’ve seen countless others spout the same nonsense as you. They all ended up the same—either cutting their own lifelines towards their dreams and dying, or lacking the courage to die and continuing to live. If you think you’ll be any different… you’re sorely mistaken.
You don’t know how it feels to be mocked. Don’t deny it. Do you really think I can’t see those disdainful eyes looking down on me from above?
It’s inevitable for someone who doesn’t know what to do to make mistakes. Don’t look at me with that mocking gaze. Do you understand the anxiety of ignorance?
– …Myungho, why… did you do such a thing…? I’ll do better, so… let it go. If I become stronger, that’s all there is to it, right…? I’ll protect you…
Do you understand the frustration of being born powerless? Do you realize that what’s easy for you is an almost impossible feat for me? Do you know that your sympathetic, concerned gaze makes me feel infinitely miserable?
You don’t understand. You don’t understand the sorrow of being incompetent. Alterra.
“You won’t understand… You won’t understand the fleeting desire to help someone else, even if it’s just for a moment. The desire to be acknowledged by someone you care about… Does that feeling even exist within you?”
I never intended to be a hero, but I accepted because I wanted to be that kind of ‘good person.’ I didn’t expect to lack this much talent, but then again, this is a fantasy world I only heard about through stories.
A place where even an amateur can become the protagonist. A place where I could be treated as something special, regardless of my past. But in reality, it wasn’t like that at all.
Still, deep down, I had this strange conviction that I wouldn’t die. Looking back now, it was insane.
Even though we could communicate, continuously provoking a hostile half-dragon would be considered suicidal behavior—even for someone who wants to die. Maybe that’s true.
But after meeting Alterra, I started to feel something changing. Instead of aimlessly wandering without purpose, I began to want her acknowledgment and to stand beside her.
Even if I had to sell my soul to a demon. But I guess, to you, I’m still just a small creature that needs protection, like a child who will disappear the moment I look away.
…If I cannot stand beside the star, then I will bring the star down, even if it costs me everything—
“Huff, huff… Huff…”
Even though this is just a dream, one should know better than to say crazy things. As I tried to shake off these blasphemous thoughts by messing up my hair, I heard Alterra’s voice.
“Good morning… I don’t think. Did you have a bad dream? Your expression looks like you’ve had a nightmare.”
Morning? I was sure it was daytime just before I fell asleep. Yet outside the window, people were bustling to work under the morning sunlight.
How long have I slept? My throat felt parched, and my stomach loudly demanded food. My head throbbed.
It’s not because of alcohol. It must be because of the dream. I was consumed by jealousy and envy throughout the dream, so it’s no wonder my head hurts.
“Here, some honey water and boiled eggs. The lady gave them to us as a service. I thought you were incredibly resistant to alcohol since you drank that much and were fine, but it seems you were just pretending, huh?”
Alterra seemed to feel a strange sense of victory as she handed me what I needed with a smile. Though I was suffering from the aftermath of the nightmare rather than a hangover—it wasn’t worth mentioning. I quietly ate what she gave me.
It tastes good. Now that I think about it, I paid 1 gold earlier and didn’t get my change. Is this the special treatment? If it’s real, I imagine today’s breakfast will be abundant.
If not, recalling yesterday’s events should suffice.
“By the way… Alterra, what are those black metal chunks…? They don’t seem like ordinary items…”
Though I’ve seen black metals before, these felt distinctly different from anything I’ve encountered. Moreover, placed beside Alterra, they didn’t seem like ordinary objects.
“Oh, these? You’ll find out when we get to Landekrihen.”
“Wait, Alterra. Are you really planning to go there? What about your revenge? Wouldn’t it be better to go straight to the dragon across the strait? Anyway, even without us, there are plenty of strong beings who can handle it. Think about it again.”
Having witnessed how powerless she becomes when unable to properly wield magic, I wanted to dissuade her from her intentions. Besides, fighting in that state?
“I have everything planned out. Do you really think I’d charge in blindly unarmed? And besides, this is the world we’ll live in eventually. Whatever schemes the Demon Tribe might be plotting, I can’t let it fall into flames again.”
Nevertheless, Alterra reaffirmed her determination to fight. I wanted to tell her to stop, but I lacked the justification.
I didn’t have the courage to tell her not to go because I didn’t want to see her hurt.
—
“Akashi, Miss Alterra, and even Myungho intend to go? Truly, they are my comrades! But… um. What about me? I don’t have any arrows…”
To Yuna, who mentioned that mediocre arrows couldn’t withstand her bow, I handed over a piece of metal extracted from my body.
Upon receiving the lump of metal, Yuna looked at me with confusion, shaking her ears slightly while saying it couldn’t be shot with her bow. How exactly does an arrow look again…
This is roughly the shape, isn’t it? Since detailed processing was difficult, I infused the metal she held with mana, shaping it roughly into the form of an arrow that remained in my mind.
Ordinary iron would have been impossible, but since it originally came from my body, precise processing like this was possible as long as there were no external interferences.
Yuna stared intently as the lump of metal gradually shrank, transforming into arrows.
“This should do. Since it’s not an ordinary sturdy material, it should hold up even when shot with your bow. If you’re curious, you can test a few once we arrive.”
“Indeed, Alterra is amazing every time I see her… The shape is a bit different, but this should work fine!”
Filling her quiver with the arrows, Yuna seemed delighted as she urged us to hurry towards the teleportation device.
A teleportation device. What does it look like? The concept of instantaneous movement was unfamiliar to me. The closest experience I had was from the fake Underworld.
The door leading to the Dwarf ruins felt more like a separate passage rather than actual teleportation.
“Teleportation device. I wonder how it works…”
Akashi, who had been silent, finally spoke up upon hearing something he recognized.
“What? You’ve already experienced it. The Dwarves’ dimensional gates. The only difference is that these are far less stable and crude. Cost is also an issue.”
Though the mention of dimensional gates deflated my enthusiasm a bit, knowing it was similar somehow reassured me.
“How much does it cost?”
“6 gold per person. Items are half price, but it’s still ridiculously expensive. Back in the day, my followers used these daily as casually as eating meals.”
If item fees are included, we’ll need to spend some money. Still, I shrugged it off. Money can always be made, and if it’s a Dwarf device capable of breaking dimensions, it’s only natural that it’s pricey.
Seeing Myungho alone with an uncomfortable expression, I approached him, put an arm around his shoulder, and reassured him that everything would turn out fine.
“It’s not just us going to fight. Why so glum? There will be heroes and others gathering too. Remember that Sun Hero you mentioned before? He’ll be there too, right?”
“So, maybe we don’t really need to go…”
“Stop being so negative. We might need to go, just in case. Even paper becomes lighter when shared. Besides, we do have the leeway to help out, don’t we?”
Myungho looked at me strangely. Did I say something wrong?
“…Oh, right. Paper becomes lighter when shared… If you want to go, then let’s go. We can retrieve Mari and thwart the Demon Tribe’s plans.”
His lack of enthusiasm was palpable.
Well, I’ll let it slide. Dragging him along forcefully would be counterproductive anyway. Part of the reason for going was to test the utility of these metal chunks, so I decided to proceed.
