I shouldn’t have done that. I shouldn’t have done it…
‘I have, in the end, disappeared from this world without leaving anything behind.’
I really shouldn’t have. My cold reason said so.
‘I had many things I wanted to do too. I wanted to see the sea with you, and I wanted to celebrate Christmas in the Holy Empire with you.’
So did I. My wishes are no different from yours. So please, stop demanding empathy from me.
‘Then you shouldn’t have let that dwarf go.’
Reddish-brown scruffy beard. Dirty appearance. A rugged face and hands that seemed to have experienced a lot of hardships.
Roarock Ironhammer. Dwarf.
An old enemy I had faced with a gun.
‘When we first met, why didn’t you attack right away?’
When Roarock showed a gap, I could have attacked at any time.
‘Why didn’t you attack?’
I could have subdued him, and although the students might be hesitant, I could have killed him.
‘Am I allowed to die, while they cannot?’
It might leave a great trauma for the students. However, the dwarf led you to death.
‘I died from the shell they fired. I was perfectly shattered into pieces.’
Even if Roarock wasn’t the direct cause, he indirectly contributed to your death. I didn’t forget that fact.
‘You have forgotten, haven’t you?’
I haven’t forgotten. I haven’t forgotten. I haven’t forgotten…
‘You’ve already forgotten my death, Lucio Antorelli.’
I still have not forgotten.
‘No. You have completely forgotten. Do you know how much I cried out your name in that moment…?’
So please… stop pushing me. Don’t blame it on me.
‘It’s because of you, Lucio.’
What should I have done?
‘I will ask you one last time, Lucio.’
…
‘Why didn’t you attack?’
…I thought the bullet was loaded. The moment I faced that gleaming barrel, which shattered into white pieces under the bright sunlight, anyone would have thought so.
‘Hmm… The bullet…’
The students were standing behind me. I had to protect them, and I didn’t want to lose anymore. I would eliminate danger, even if it meant throwing my body in front…
‘No. You knew that dwarf’s gun was not loaded.’
…I didn’t know. I truly didn’t know.
‘You knew from the very beginning.’
No, I… really didn’t know. I didn’t know!
‘You knew that gun was unloaded, but was there really a need to kill a defenseless dwarf? Isn’t it okay to refrain from such killing now?’
Please, stop.
‘You compromised. You did.’
Please… stop…
‘I didn’t want to suffer anymore, I wanted to turn my eyes away from my death… I was just trying to find happiness by using Cesar’s death as an excuse… I didn’t want to get involved in such things again.’
I, I…
‘You ran away. You did.’
I compromised. I may have embarked on my last adventure.
‘To escape from reality…’
To reach another world.
“…Head Priest!”
I was startled awake. It was Sofia Sub-priest’s shout. I pulled my lukewarm forehead away from the window frame.
The sunlight seemed to be slanting through the window, and my forehead, touching the frame, felt a faint warmth. I worried if it had gotten burned.
“Aren’t you going to bed too early? Really… If you sleep now, you won’t be able to sleep at night.”
“…Ah.”
“Ah?”
Sofia Sub-priest tilted her head with a frown. Did my meaningless words hold any significance for her?
“It’s nothing.”
“…What is it this time?”
Sofia Sub-priest’s gaze narrowed. Her half-closed eyes poked mercilessly into my chest.
“I had a bad dream.”
“Hmm… Is that so?”
“Yes. It is.”
It wasn’t unusual for me to have nightmares. It seemed Sofia Sub-priest understood my answer, nodding as she moved closer.
“This is all because you suddenly went to sleep, Head Priest.”
“…That’s true.”
“Seriously… Even though you were tired, you shouldn’t have slept that suddenly. Do you know how hard it was for me to manage the students alone?”
Though she said that, there wasn’t really much to manage. We had Laura and Elin, who were quite sensible.
Sofia Sub-priest, who had been scolding me with raised eyebrows, soon couldn’t hold back her gentle heart and returned to her worried expression.
“So, um, was the dream a bit… are you okay?”
‘Was it a dream worth being sane enough to endure?’ It was a question only possible because she knew all my circumstances. I momentarily closed my mouth and fell into thought.
‘…What was it exactly?’
What kind of dream had I just had? I had never had such a dream before.
A dialogue close to a question, continuing in the pitch black darkness. I was crouching my head somewhere, and the subject speaking to me was speaking from the darkness…
It was a dream wandering in that darkness.
“Yes. I’m okay.”
I answered Sofia Sub-priest. Even though I briefly had a strange dream, I was still fine.
“That’s a relief.”
Sofia Sub-priest smiled softly and nodded at my answer. It seemed that was the right answer.
“More importantly, I think we should head to the living room soon.”
“To the living room?”
“Yes. The students are already gathered.”
As she said, I too felt the need to have a proper talk with the students. I got up from the chair placed in front of the window, planning to head to the living room with Sofia Sub-priest.
Beep—.
I thought about going down to the living room.
In an instant, my vision swirled. I pressed my head gently and frowned. Sofia Sub-priest, who had opened the door in front, was still not looking back at me.
It faded away, shrank. In the crazy view that sometimes seemed to expand, I clenched my teeth and pretended to be ‘okay.’ The instinct to maintain ‘normalcy’ dominated my body.
Fortunately, the sudden symptom soon subsided. This was a symptom I was experiencing for the first time as well, so it was hard to understand what the reason was.
I endured that brief moment until Sofia Sub-priest stepped out through the door and quickly returned to normal. I followed closely behind her.
“Head Priest? What’s wrong?”
Sofia Sub-priest looked at me with strange eyes. I shrugged my shoulders, trying hard to act like I didn’t know.
“What do you mean?”
“Your hands. They’re shaking quite a bit.”
“Shaking? What do you…?”
As our eyes met, the tremor of my hand that had been shaking earlier calmed down significantly. I nodded nonchalantly and walked ahead.
“We should hurry down.”
“No, um…”
“It’s nothing. I was just sleeping with my arm under my pillow, and it’s just that my blood wasn’t flowing properly.”
“Ah… I see.”
It was a reasonable explanation. Complimenting myself inwardly, I made my way to the living room.
I felt eyes on me.
“It is best to avoid doing anything close to the grave.”
In the end, it was something I had to say. I nailed it down in a firm tone in front of Daniel and Vivian.
“Ah… as expected…”
“…Hmph.”
The two’s expressions quickly drooped. Though my heart ached at the sight of Vivian, who rarely showed a sulky expression, it was unavoidable.
“That dwarf… Roarock Ironhammer might have set traps again. His reason for being here is simply research on occult and mysterious phenomena; there’s no need to engage in such risky behavior.”
“Yes… I understand…”
“…Well, that makes sense. I get it too.”
The fortunate thing was that both of them quickly accepted it. I nodded and sank into the sofa placed in the living room.
Among the students who had settled in before me, Laura approached and leaned in this time. I naturally turned my gaze toward her.
“By the way, how is that dwarf still in the mountains?”
The spirits of the dull Daniel and Vivian lifted slightly. Vivian nodded.
“Hmm… if that’s the case, the identity of the monster living here is essentially that dwarf. That could be interesting in its own right.”
“No, now that I think about it, that’s true. Professor! How is the dwarf living here?”
Daniel asked. I let out a shallow sigh and thought.
How is Roarock still in the Empire’s territory? Moreover, wearing the formal military uniform that dwarves wore during the Great War.
There were numerous possibilities to consider. Perhaps Roarock’s unit was deployed in this mountain and was annihilated, leaving only Roarock behind, or maybe Roarock was a deserter…
The certainty is that he is still struggling in the past of the Great War.
The image of Roarock, maintaining a notably thin physique for a dwarf, even beyond his military uniform, surfaced in my mind.
“Perhaps it’s because he still thinks the Great War hasn’t ended.”
For some reason, he was trapped here, and finding his way in the deep mountains without a map was nearly impossible. Because this place is akin to a maze of nature, where here seems there and there seems here.
However, that would only be something to say in a situation where procuring food and water is difficult. Regardless of how many years have passed, Roarock was still alive.
If he invests the time he has stayed here until now, he might be able to escape from these dense mountains.
Roarock did not do that. The sign of him continuously maintaining his rifle, which showed signs of regular care despite his lack of resources, and the hand axe hanging at his waist proved that.
Then, why?
Is there really a reason for him to remain in this mountain? Even if he were to leave this mountain, it would still be the Empire’s land, wouldn’t it be better than living a solitary life surviving on his own?
A certain scene flashed through my mind like lightning.
A grave wrapped in sunlight, harmonizing with nature. And Roarock’s attitude that seemed to protect it.
‘Perhaps…’
Could it be that Roarock is tied to that grave?
Caught up in the past, unable to leave this mountain on his own? Just as I began to entertain such thoughts, a heavy sound suddenly echoed from somewhere. I subtly raised my head.
“……”
“Professor?”
Outside the living room window, darkness had already descended. Night had come in the mountains, where the sun set quickly.
-Creak.
It wasn’t a sound from nature. It was an artificial sound.
It sounded like the creaking of ill-oiled hinges or possibly a heavy boot stepping on a wooden plank…
“…Tsk.”
“Pro, Professor? Where are you going all of a sudden?”
I rose from the sofa, buried in it, and walked slowly toward the entrance. My somewhat crouched figure made the students hold their breath and watch me.
Chloe, who was preparing dinner in the kitchen, had quietly pulled out her staff. That was a good move.
-Swish. Swish.
The noise of something being rummaged through reached me up close at that moment, and I forcefully swung open the closed entrance door. With a dull sound, it slammed against the doorframe.
“Ugh!”
“…What is it? Roarock Ironhammer.”
In front of the lodge’s entrance, the one collapsed with his forehead against the ground was none other than Roarock Ironhammer.
“What on earth is…?”
Roarock’s rough hands were rummaging through the trash can. The scruffy-bearded Roarock stared blankly at me.
In his right hand, he was holding the apple core I had thrown away this morning.
