I woke up, of course, on the hospital bed. As I stared blankly at the ceiling, a silly thought crossed my mind: I seemed to come to the hospital quite often ever since this had happened.
Looking around, I could see the bustling scene of the hospital. It wasn’t a patient room, but rather the emergency room. I didn’t see anyone specifically waiting for me. Shortly after I regained consciousness, a nurse who discovered me brought a doctor.
“You have a mild concussion. You’re lucky. You’ve got quite a bruise, but ice packs will do the trick.”
“Just a concussion… is it?”
“Yes. If you’d like, it wouldn’t hurt to undergo a more detailed examination.”
“No, I think I’m okay.”
Although my head still hurt a bit, it wasn’t a severe pain. According to the doctor, I hit my head on a soju bottle that had fallen, which was fortunate since it wasn’t a dangerous weapon. I was told that I was quite lucky because the assailant stumbled slightly at the last moment, so I didn’t receive a direct hit.
I was told that I could rest for a bit and then be discharged immediately, but I wasn’t sure what to do in this kind of situation. Should I go to the police station? Who should I contact?
The drunk who attacked me must have been caught, right? I wondered if Park Chan-wook was okay. Thinking about it, a deep sigh escaped me. Park Chan-wook’s mumbling had definitely been accurate. I had no luck. It was just one of those days when nothing seemed to go right.
For now, I found my phone, which was next to my cap. Due to the daze, I couldn’t wear the cap for a while. When I checked the time, about three hours had passed. I had several missed calls, all from Ham Yejin. She probably knew my condition by now and must have called out of concern, even though she knew I couldn’t answer.
I dialed her number to let her know I was okay, and before the phone rang three times, it connected.
“Hello?”
“Are you alright?”
The speed at which she jumped into the question without any pleasantries was exceptional. Her stiff voice contained an unmistakable deep worry.
“I’m fine. They say it’s a mild concussion.”
Ham Yejin let out a sigh of relief upon hearing my words and brushed her chest.
“That’s a relief.”
“Yes, they say I can be discharged right away.”
“Then please wait a moment. I’m on my way.”
“Huh? Aren’t you supposed to be working?”
“I’m writing an incident report.”
“You don’t have to go that far because of me…”
“Well, I’m heading to the hospital anyway. There’s no turning back now…”
True to her words, Ham Yejin arrived in less than ten minutes after hanging up. Since she was in the hospital, she couldn’t run, but I could tell from far away that her expression was tense as she walked quickly toward me.
“Welcome.”
“Is your head alright?”
“I told you it’s fine.”
I had mentioned it earlier, but Ham Yejin barely listened as she checked the wound on my head.
“It’s really swollen. Are you sure it’s fine?”
“It doesn’t hurt that much. It stings a bit when I touch it.”
In reality, it was a bit embarrassing. I had lost consciousness from a mere bump.
It seemed Ham Yejin didn’t think of it that way.
“Just to be safe, we should do a thorough examination…”
“I really am fine. The doctor said so too.”
Ham Yejin still wore a slightly dissatisfied expression but eventually agreed to my words. Since someone came, and there was no reason to stay in the hospital any longer, we proceeded with the discharge procedures.
I climbed into Ham Yejin’s shiny foreign car.
“So, are we going to the police station now?”
“No, we’re going home. There won’t be any crazed police officers calling the victim to report the same day. Since I’m purely a victim without direct involvement in the violence, my safety is the priority.”
I wasn’t sure about the person who was with me.
“Um… will that be okay? That kid saved me.”
“The assailant has already been arrested in the act, so it should be fine. If not, I’ll handle it somehow.”
Even if I was a National Intelligence Service employee, I didn’t have that much power, but I still felt grateful for at least that assurance. Park Chan-wook’s first impression had been close to the worst, but ultimately, he didn’t seem malicious, and he had rescued me. Of course, in the end, I had also helped Park Chan-wook, so it wasn’t something I considered as a debt, but I certainly didn’t want him to become a criminal because of this incident.
“Of course, the police will contact you for a separate investigation. You are still a victim, after all. They may request your attendance at the trial. You can refuse if you wish, but it’s better to cooperate. They’ll come to your house as needed.”
“Um, could I possibly get Park Chan-wook’s phone number?”
“I thought he was an acquaintance of yours. Don’t you know?”
“Well, it’s just that we met for the first time today… He’s a writer from the same publishing company.”
“I’ll make sure to pass on the message.”
Then there was a brief silence.
“I hope you’ll be more careful moving forward. I know these things can’t be avoided just by being careful, but I worry.”
“I’ll try to be careful.”
“Avoid deserted alleyways… and try to avoid going alone… Besides, Seol-guk is quite a famous person, so you might attract unnecessary attention.”
I couldn’t say her worries were excessive. These things had actually happened, and this wasn’t the first time. Even if I were to concern about it, it wasn’t a situation I could laugh off.
“Should I get a GPS on my smartphone?”
“That wouldn’t be a bad idea. Shall we install an app when we get back?”
That had been intended as a joke.
By the time we arrived home, it was already dark. I thought it was unnecessary, but Ham Yejin insisted on accompanying me inside.
She even held my hand.
I felt strange. It had been a long time since I held someone else’s hand, and it felt awkward, yet it was hard to bring myself to say that I didn’t want it. Just for a moment, I tolerated it and went along.
I thought we’d go back just like that, but Ham Yejin laid me down on the sofa and began getting ice from the fridge for a cold compress. I wasn’t going to say “Aren’t I leaving?” because I wasn’t that insensitive; I obediently followed along.
“Really.”
“What’s wrong?”
“I just feel like you require a lot of care.”
“I’m not that much of a child.”
If someone else had said that to me, I would’ve scolded them for being ridiculous. But since it was coming from Ham Yejin, who had actually taken care of me a lot, I couldn’t deny it.
Even though I didn’t have a massive injury that required nursing, Ham Yejin stayed by my side. This time felt comfortable. In fact, it had always felt that way, but I just denied it back then.
Back then, accepting this time comfortably was a sin and a shameful weakness. I didn’t want to admit my own frailty. I didn’t want to accept it, but eventually, I changed and learned to acknowledge it: the weaknesses and stubbornness I had.
Was I being a bit more honest now?
“One thing, I would like your opinion on…”
“Sure?”
“Um, there’s a junior at my university. She’s a woman, and we have a pretty good relationship, but she’s looking for a job here after living in the countryside.”
Ham Yejin seemed hesitant.
“She asked me to help her find a place to stay. But as I mentioned, this house is mine…”
“If it’s that kind of problem, I have no say in it. I’m okay with it, so do what you feel is right.”
In fact, I was living for free in this house, so I had no right to tell her not to offer a room to a friend. Also, if she was a friend of someone like Ham Yejin, she wouldn’t be a strange person.
“I’m sorry. She has helped me a lot in the past, so it’s not easy to refuse.”
“You don’t have to worry about it.”
“Still, her personality is good, so she shouldn’t cause any trouble. However, I wouldn’t recommend becoming too close.”
“She has a good personality, right?”
“She does, but she tends to walk her own path a bit.”
Her own path?
“It feels a bit awkward to say this, but she’s a bit…”
“A bit?”
“A psycho.”
I had just thought she wouldn’t be a strange person. Hearing that made me even more curious. I don’t think I had ever seen Ham Yejin use profanity or vulgar language, so what could make her say such a thing about someone? And how could that person still remain in her life?
It was clear that this was someone unusual.
“I think she’ll be moving in next week, and I’ll go visit her then.”
As we chatted like this, it was already getting pretty late. Ham Yejin checked the time and hesitated slightly before speaking up.
“Shall I stay the night?”
Of course, it wasn’t about any romantic situation. I had already slept in the same room with Ham Yejin several times, so it wasn’t that strange. I appreciated her concern for me, but it was a bit regrettable that I had to decline her offer.
“It’s okay. You have to work tomorrow, and there’s no bed here.”
“Shall we buy one?”
“Where would we find the money for that?”
As I declined with a smile, I could see Ham Yejin’s expression darken. I felt a bit guilty. I didn’t want to see that look on her face.
“Really, I’m fine. It’s okay.”
I said I was okay to let her know I truly was. How ridiculous of an expression that is.
But that was the only thing I could think to say. Ham Yejin, still hesitating, didn’t stand up easily. Eventually seeming to collect her thoughts, she straightened her bent knees. And then, rather than leaving, she embraced me as I lay there.
It was an uncomfortable position, but I didn’t complain. I wasn’t surprised either. I simply returned the embrace. Before I knew it, tears began to flow from my eyes without me realizing. Both of us held each other tighter.
I knew that Ham Yejin didn’t ask me about the details of what had happened today on purpose. She had sensed that I didn’t want to relive it. After meeting Ham Yejin today, I had not said anything but that I was okay.
She easily recognized that my words “I’m okay” always implied that I wasn’t really okay. She knew me too well to pretend she didn’t. I still didn’t know much about her.
In front of Ham Yejin, I always felt like a child. The tears that had flown unnoticed suddenly grew to the point of sobbing, and I ended up revealing everything I had hidden inside like a true fool. After sobbing for quite some time, it was time to part ways.
“In fact, if Seol-guk had kept saying he was okay, I wouldn’t have left.”
“Isn’t the opposite true?”
“No.”
Ham Yejin smiled lovingly.
“No, it’s not.”
And she repeated it once more.
