Sinking.
I thought I could float. I thought I could rise… but that was not the case.
I cannot do anything. Even moving a finger takes immense effort.
Slowly being drawn into shallow water that presses down on my body and suffocates me, like this.
Into the dark water, like this.
…Like this.
It was shallow water, but enough to drown me beneath the surface.
I was sinking.
Gurgle—.
Working during vacation was not a particularly fulfilling thing to do.
Especially in the midst of the sweltering summer heat. Sub-priest Sofia yawned widely and felt the cool air from the air conditioner.
“I’m so… sleepy…”
It was the same professor’s office as usual. Sub-priest Sofia sat at the work desk arranged on one side of the office, enjoying the cold breeze, while Professor Antorelli, seated at the front of the office, silently went about his work.
Returning to such a normal daily routine made Sub-priest Sofia feel restless.
There was plenty she could do, but most of it was resolved after concentrating on work for the past few days. Other than preparing questions for the second semester exams, there was not much urgent work to be done right away.
If she were not particularly adept, it would be different, but Sub-priest Sofia was quite capable. After finishing her work quickly, a deep boredom came over her.
Sub-priest Sofia, leaning on her desk and feeling the cool breeze, slowly opened her eyes. As she made a slight movement to lift her upper body, the hair that stood out on top of her head bounced up.
“Hehe…”
Sub-priest Sofia quietly stood up. A funny prank came to her mind.
Professor Antorelli’s face was not visible as he was bent over his desk, buried under papers, files, and various theological books.
This meant that Professor Antorelli could not see her either. Sub-priest Sofia quietly approached him while bending down.
‘Just a tiny bit, I want to see the head priest surprised.’
Professor Antorelli was always stoic, and occasionally… he would show a faint smile like a bean on a drought, but other than that, he expressed no emotions at all. It was only natural that the desire to see him surprised would creep up. Sub-priest Sofia became convinced of this.
“Hehe…”
A mischievous laugh slipped out. She quickly covered her mouth, but fortunately, it seemed Professor Antorelli had not yet realized.
Sub-priest Sofia, still hunched over, quietly moved next to Professor Antorelli’s desk. Her eyes busily followed his movements.
And then, she froze.
‘…Huh?’
Professor Antorelli had been burying his head in the work desk for a little while now. At first, she thought he was sleeping, but he occasionally lifted his upper body, showing that he was not asleep.
And it became clearer as she got closer.
“Don’t… talk to me.”
An incomprehensible muttering. It tickled Sub-priest Sofia’s ears, as if she could almost hear it. She leaned in to listen to the faint murmuring.
“Stop… I’m… medicine…”
To hear any more, she would really have to be right next to him. The words Sub-priest Sofia could catch from Professor Antorelli were sporadic, making it difficult to guess what he was saying.
‘Medicine…?’
The only word she could understand was the single character ‘medicine.’ Sub-priest Sofia scratched her cheek and tilted her head.
– Thud!
Suddenly, the desk drawer opened roughly. Sub-priest Sofia, startled, instinctively flinched. Should she return to her seat now?
But it felt awkward to move now. Sub-priest Sofia held her breath silently.
– Clatter! Snap!
Next came the sound of something unknown being pulled out of a container full of various things. The noise of the contents bumping against each other.
With a gulp, a swallowing sound followed.
It was a familiar sound. When Professor Antorelli felt pain in his shoulder, this was the kind of sound it made when he took painkillers. He must have suddenly felt pain in his shoulder.
Sub-priest Sofia felt her face grow sad. Seeing Professor Antorelli in pain made her heart feel heavy, knowing the circumstances behind it.
‘This won’t do. I should leave soon…’
Ultimately, feeling a bit soft-hearted, Sub-priest Sofia stood up to end the prank just then.
“…Cough!”
A rough coughing sound reached her ears. Sub-priest Sofia was startled and involuntarily jolted her shoulders.
– Thud!
In the process, she bumped her shoulder against the edge of the work desk. Sub-priest Sofia experienced a pain akin to stubbing her toe, covering her mouth with her palm to stifle a silent scream.
‘Ah, ah…!’
For a moment, her mind went blank, and then, Professor Antorelli’s voice came from above her.
“Cough! Sofia, Sub-priest?”
“Ahhh… Head priest…?”
Sub-priest Sofia rubbed her neck with her hand and sat up. The prank to surprise Professor Antorelli had failed, but that was the least of her worries in the face of the pain that brought tears to her eyes.
“Ah…! It hurts…”
“Over there, cough! What…?”
“Hehe… I was just trying to lighten the mood…”
Looking awkwardly at Professor Antorelli, Sub-priest Sofia couldn’t find the words to continue.
“…Head priest?”
“Yes.”
“Why are you turning your head away?”
Professor Antorelli had turned his head. Though his body was oriented toward Sub-priest Sofia, he seemed to be intentionally turning his head away, hiding his face from her view.
In response to her question, Professor Antorelli shrugged his shoulders and nonchalantly said.
“Nothing, just… cough! It’s nothing.”
“…Head priest. Please show me your face for a second.”
“……”
“Head priest?”
“Just a moment, just wait a moment.”
The hand covering his mouth. In that hand, a white cloth. Sub-priest Sofia recognized it as the handkerchief that Professor Antorelli always carried.
‘…Did he catch a cold?’
She had been concerned about the cough he was making, which was unusual for him. Sub-priest Sofia leaned slightly to try to see Professor Antorelli’s face.
Every time she tried, Professor Antorelli quickly turned away to avoid showing his face.
“Head priest?”
“Cough! Ahem… It’s okay now.”
After clearing his throat, Professor Antorelli wiped the corner of his mouth with the handkerchief and then turned away.
Contrary to her worries, he looked just like he always did. Sub-priest Sofia nodded, relieved.
“Why the sudden change?”
“I want to ask the same. Why did you sneak up like a thief?”
“Ahaha, well… how should I put it? I wanted to play a prank…”
Sub-priest Sofia stammered, realizing she had landed in a precarious situation. If the conversation continued like this, she could roughly predict what Professor Antorelli would say next.
– If you’re that bored, handle these documents over here.
He would say something cruel while wearing a nonchalant expression and toss a mountain of paperwork her way. Just as Sub-priest Sofia was trembling with apprehension and trying to shake her head at Professor Antorelli’s question…
“Here you go.”
“…?”
A few bills were handed to her. Sub-priest Sofia gazed at them with a puzzled expression.
“Since lunch was too heavy, shouldn’t you have something light to refresh yourself? Go buy some ice cream at the cafeteria.”
“Uh… Really?”
“Yes. And please bring one back for me as well. I need to refresh myself too.”
Contrary to her expectations, Professor Antorelli’s words initially left Sub-priest Sofia speechless.
“Understood! Leave it to me!”
She couldn’t resist free ice cream. Sub-priest Sofia quickly accepted the money Professor Antorelli was offering and hurriedly left the professor’s office, fearing he might change his mind and dump a mountain of work on her.
“I’ll be back in a flash! Head priest!”
“Yes. Have a good trip.”
Leaving behind the indifferent Professor Antorelli, Sub-priest Sofia skipped up the hallway joyfully.
“Ice cream~. Delicious ice cream~.”
With a wide smile, only thoughts of the refreshing and sweet ice cream remained in her head.
‘…Did she leave?’
I listened to the sounds coming from the hallway. The sound of Sub-priest Sofia’s excited footsteps and humming gradually faded.
Soon, as the sound disappeared completely, I quietly made my way into the pantry on one side of the professor’s office. It was stocked with various refreshments, black tea, and had a sink.
What I was looking for was not the black tea I usually drank, but the sink.
“Ugh…! Cough! Cough!”
With a cough that was almost a retch, a lump of congealed blood fell into the sink with a splat. I felt the warm flow of dead blood running down my chin.
“Kah! …Damn it.”
I quickly wiped it off to avoid staining my clothes. Wiping around my mouth, the familiar and unpleasant metallic smell of blood stained the handkerchief.
The handkerchief was already red since it had absorbed a previous cough, so I reached for some tissues in the pantry to use.
– Whoosh—!
I turned the faucet on the sink as hard as I could, wetting my hands to scrub my mouth roughly. The blood that had started to dry was beginning to wash away with the water.
Once I had completely cleaned up, I turned off the water in the sink and looked into the small mirror in front of me.
‘More effective than I thought.’
The moment I took the medication prescribed by Moritz, I began hearing things that sounded like hallucinations again.
That said, I never expected to vomit blood right after taking medication. Was I in such a severe condition?
What was clear was that after vomiting the dead blood, the voices that had troubled me until just a moment ago had disappeared. I stared blankly at the macabre heap of blood that had burst into the sink.
Dark red blood clot. Within it, there were clusters of dark, irregular shapes. I realized it was the residue from the medication that Moritz had mentioned.
Did such things linger inside me?
Sitting unexpelled, residuals in my body. How much was left, I wondered?
“Hoo…”
A deep sigh escaped. It was not a sigh of frustration but rather one of relief.
‘Thank goodness.’
I was relieved I hadn’t shown such a sight to Sub-priest Sofia. She worried too much and had a strong attachment to people, so if she were to see me like this, I could only imagine what kinds of worries it would cause. I didn’t want to make her unnecessarily anxious.
I would quietly do what I needed to do.
Quietly, like sinking…
