Chapter 137

“I can die, but I cannot grow old. Just like Miss Julia.”

He felt a sense of betrayal.

The excuses that followed sounded half-hearted.

Whether it was good intentions or bad, it was true that the duke had deceived me, and I felt simply hurt.

Just by hiding the factor that would benefit me, living an eternal life, I felt this betrayal.

What reaction would the duke have if he found out that I had hidden something even more significant?

I had never thought seriously about it before.

Everyone knows that I have possessed the body of the Holy Maiden, but they do not know that I am a man.

I have never said it.

Seeing that no one has asked, it seems they firmly believe that I was originally a woman.

Unintentionally, I had been cruelly deceiving the duke.

I had to say it.

Gripping my chest, stained with guilt and obligation, I headed towards the duke’s room.

And finally, I opened my mouth.

“I’m actually a man.”

“······.”

The duke’s eyes widened.

But his eyes only grew larger; he managed to maintain his expression without distorting it.

He is adept at keeping a poker face.

Even so, if he can’t control his eyes from widening, he must be quite surprised.

It is surprising.

It would be shocking for him to declare that the woman he had been so passionately pursuing is actually a man.

“······.”

“······.”

Silence lingered between us for a long time.

It seems the duke is taking some time to accept the situation.

He probably realized from my serious expression that this was no joke.

What reaction would the duke show?

Would he explode in anger?

Would he quietly drive me away?

Or would he turn his back on me now that the love has cooled?

I don’t care either way.

It is just a problem that was bound to surface someday.

I deposited the 300 million received as a settlement with the duke safely in the bank.

Even if I were to be kicked out here, it wouldn’t affect my living for the time being.

However, I am deeply concerned about the fact that I would be exposed to the church’s pursuit without the protection of Dragania.

‘I feel relieved.’

But if you ask me whether I regret saying it, I absolutely do not.

I feel relieved.

I finally told the duke something I couldn’t share with anyone.

I finally dealt a blow to the man who had tormented me.

Just when I thought it was exhilarating.

Finally, it seems the duke has collected his thoughts and parted his lips.

“Ugh.”

“······?”

“Ughhh, ha ha ha ha ha!”

Then, the duke produced a bizarre sound as if he was sniffling, only to burst into laughter.

It seems he had barely held back until now, completely forgetting all semblance of dignity as he doubled over in laughter.

It was the first time I saw the duke laugh like that…

Has he finally gone mad?

I stood there dumbfounded, startled.

After a while, the duke wiped away his tears and took a breath.

“I’m sorry… I laughed too much.”

“Wh-what’s so funny? Did I hear you correctly in the first place?”

“Yes. You said you’re a man.”

“This isn’t a joke. Before I possessed this body…”

“Yes, I know. I know Miss Julia wouldn’t make such a joke.”

“Then why…”

“I had my suspicions from the very beginning. Eventually, I was almost certain. No matter how I looked at it, you didn’t seem like someone who had lived their entire life in a woman’s body. But seeing you come to me seriously, as if you were making a major announcement, and struggling to confess… I’m truly sorry. I just couldn’t help but laugh.”

“······.”

You crazy bastard.

You knew it all along.

You were already certain…

My body trembled with shame.

My face burned red, and I couldn’t bear to meet the duke’s gaze.

I felt like I wanted to get up and run away right then and there.

“Did you feel guilty? Did you feel like you were deceiving me? Was that why you came to tell me? How kind of you, Miss Julia.”

“Th-that’s not it! And you just called me wrong! It’s Miss Julia!”

“I called you correctly, Miss Julia.”

“But I’m a man!”

“You were before. Now, you are not.”

“My mind is still male.”

“That doesn’t matter. Gender follows the body. Since you are in a woman’s body now, Miss Julia is a woman.”

“What kind of nonsense is that…?”

“Think carefully about who is being unreasonable.”

The duke said with a relaxed smile.

Who is being unreasonable?

Of course, it is you.

I was originally a man, it’s only natural.

I was a man before and I am a man now, and eventually, my body will revert back to a man’s body.

It’s just a detour through a woman’s body for a while.

“Oh. Did I misunderstand your intentions? Did you think that hearing this, I would stop loving you, Miss Julia?”

“······!”

He hit the nail on the head.

The duke observed my change in expression and soon chuckled.

How annoying…

“I’m sorry, but that will not happen. You are the only woman who has made my heart race in my several thousand years of life. There’s no way I’ll stop loving you.”

“I’ve always been a man?! Are you gay?!”

“It’s difficult to answer that when I’ve never felt passion for anyone in thousands of years… but, Miss Julia, right now, you are a woman. So I suppose I’m attracted to female entities.”

“That’s not it…!”

“I’m saying I do not cling to the past. It’s not complicated. I passionately love the child who is caring, brave, strong, and intelligent, the current Miss Julia. That’s all there is to it.”

“······?!”

The duke leaned forward and took my hand, confessing again.

What a terrible timing…

I was so startled that I pulled my hand away and stood up.

“That wasn’t a confession, right?”

“I’ll be waiting for your answer.”

“My answer is no!”

“I’ll wait forever. Eternally.”

“······.”

Thud.

After shutting the door behind me, I realized my breath was ragged.

Then, when I touched my face, it felt as hot as if it were burning.

I must be blushing like a beet right now…

My lower abdomen felt a slight itch.

“Damn…”

It’s just a simple physiological response.

It has nothing to do with my true feelings.

I concluded that and hurriedly left.

I felt that the sooner I got away from the smell of the duke’s room, the better I would feel…

*

“Julia. Julia.”

“Ah, yes.”

“······.”

Click.

As Julia regained her senses, she brushed her hair behind her ear.

Only then did her eyes regain focus.

‘Has she not slept well?’

Seeing Julia in such a daze, Alexander felt slightly concerned.

To see Julia looking so absent, he wondered if something had happened.

‘Master’s hands. They were so big…’

Meanwhile, Julia was too preoccupied with such thoughts to focus on anything else.

“Today’s class seems unlikely.”

“Ah?! No! I will concentrate!”

“It’s not that Julia’s attitude is bad. Next Sunday, I probably have to go to the Papal Office, but I’m just concerned that if we have class today, it might end awkwardly.”

“Ah…”

She leaped up like a surprised rabbit, then calmed down and slumped back down, looking quite cute.

Alexander thought that while watching Julia, then turned his head again.

Seeing steam curling up from the kettle, it seemed the water was boiling.

Alexander gestured and instantly turned off the flame.

He poured a chocolate brown drink into two cups, stirred them a few times with a spoon, then brought them over as Julia smiled and received them with both hands.

“That’s really strange.”

“What is?”

“Only you, teacher, would drink hot chocolate in this summer.”

“Ha ha. Inside the church is always so cool… I habitually drink it.”

The two sat facing each other, sipping hot chocolate awkwardly while laughing.

With this, it felt like mid-winter.

Julia took off her shoes and crouched on the chair, blowing on her hot chocolate and savoring its sweetness.

Alexander was captivated by Julia for a long time, unable to take his eyes off her.

“By the way, are the evil spirits quiet these days?”

“They’ve completely disappeared. I can’t hear them at all now. I guess they got tired and fell off. Hehe.”

“That’s good.”

“It’s all thanks to you, teacher.”

“······.”

Julia smiled brightly.

Indeed, the faint malevolent energy that had been felt from Julia was no longer detectable.

When Julia had previously purified her divine power yet the whispers of evil spirits hadn’t ceased, he had considered that they might not be evil spirits at all.

But now, that doesn’t matter at all.

What tormented Julia has disappeared, and she no longer wears a fatigued expression.

He became no longer curious about its true identity.

“You said you were going to the Papal Office, right? If it makes you unable to have class, you must be there all day?”

“It’s an important event. I think I’ll stay for two nights and three days.”

“Hmm. What’s that important event about?”

“It’s confidential.”

“Tsk.”

An emergency meeting was called.

Normally, lower-ranking priests could not attend emergency meetings, but Alexander was an exception.

Usually, after an emergency meeting, he would be given a new mission, so it was easier to understand the nature of the mission by attending the meeting.

And there was something else he needed to confirm when going to the Papal Office.

The previously recorded wavelength spectrum of Julia’s divine power.

Although he had requested a search from the Papal Office’s archives via mail, he couldn’t completely trust the outcome.

In the end, it seemed like he would have to search for and confirm it himself.

‘With this, I will eliminate all doubts about Julia.’

Alexander knew he was a notoriously persistent person.

Plenty of evidence suggests that Julia is not the Holy Maiden, but due to his intuition, he has been unable to completely dismiss his suspicions until now.

Because of that, he had been uncomfortable and distressed.

He wanted to trust Julia completely.

He wanted to treat her no longer as a suspect but as a person.

This return to the Papal Office was a journey to affirm his trust in Julia.

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