“….”
Sua first took a look around her surroundings.
The Mystic group were each lost in their own inner torment.
Now was the chance. Sua frantically tapped away at her phone, which she had hidden beneath the desk.
[Sua Squad]
[Sua: What’s up? What are you doing?]
[Deer: What do you mean what’s up?]
[Deer: I’m helping improve your image at work. In return, you’ll have to do Kim Yu-han’s makeup and mimic his voice later.]
[Deer: It’s a suggestion to support each other. I’ve already discussed it with Saeng-ji and Monkeying. They’re acquaintances with you, but we’re friends.]
[Monkeying: Yeah, it’s true. At first, I felt betrayed. How could you, Sua, be the true identity of Kim Yu-han? It felt like getting shot in the head.]
[Monkeying: But thinking about it again, it’s not bad.]
[Monkeying: Seeing my friend succeed feels good and I might even get introduced to some famous actors later.]
What? The latter part sounds sincere.
[Sua: No, I get it. I understand, but why does my image improve?]
Sua couldn’t comprehend it in her mind.
Hadn’t Sua just been turned into a soulless machine? What does that have to do with an improved image?
[Deer: Hey, would you rather honestly say you have Servant Syndrome? Isn’t this way much better?]
“….”
That’s right.
These guys seriously believed Sua had Servant Syndrome. Realizing this fact made her head spin.
There were piles of stories she wanted to share, but unfortunately, Sua didn’t have much time on her phone.
“Excuse me.”
It was Kim Sun-il speaking.
“Yes.”
Was it because he was handsome? Sun-il had only said two words, and yet Go Eun-bi looked at Sua with an expression she had never seen before, her eyes sparkling.
Sua thought inwardly, “Wow, I really want to punch her.”
Kim Sun-il continued to speak.
“Sua, what happened to make you this way?”
“If I start talking, there’s no end.”
Deer took a sip of water.
“Well, it’s like you weren’t really human. No matter what you did, it was beyond the capability of an average person, the kind that makes one’s heart ache.”
Kim Sun-il quietly stroked his chin.
“…Simply put, this problem existed from before and has gotten much better now, right? Still, you’ve made some good friends who worry a lot about you.”
Sua wanted to refute that.
That’s not right. It means I was so incapable that it was frustrating! Ah, of course, this is something Go Eun-bi deliberately said to make Kim Sun-il misunderstand!
Sua realized it would be pointless to say anything to Eun-bi. Calling Kim I-seo would be the answer.
“President. What’s the purpose of this meeting?”
“Do you know that since Sua suddenly grew so much, it has led to a lot of work for Mystic?”
“Yes.”
“There’s an urgent need for talented people across various fields, and we’re thinking of utilizing these people.”
“Talented people?”
“Yes. Media connections, community opinion and fan café management, and live streaming support. Each of them are very reliable, right?”
At the same time, Seo Yeon-joo whispered in her ear.
“They’re quite helpful to you, aren’t they? It would be troublesome if they turned against you one day, right? So we’re treating them well in advance, ensuring they’re on our side.”
“Ah.”
“People like that usually work out of passion. Even by just showing up, their enthusiasm must be skyrocketing. Of course, besides this, we’ve prepared many gifts; compared to what we’re getting, they’re getting a good deal.”
Are they really fans?
Sua was confused but somehow understood the purpose of this meeting. In fact, it was organized by Mystic.
At that moment, Kim I-seo spoke.
“Let’s just exchange greetings today. Mystic is extremely busy. Thank you all for taking the time.”
As soon as she finished speaking, the three friends stood up simultaneously.
Kim I-seo smiled at them.
“I’ll continue to take care of you all. If you need anything, feel free to let me know, and in return…”
The president hadn’t even finished speaking when the friends answered.
“We’ll deliver journalist updates immediately.”
“I’m an expert in fan café management. Don’t worry!”
“I’ll promote Mystic during my live streams.”
Afterward, as they left the meeting room,
Sua quickly stood up.
“President.”
“Yes, Sua.”
“Since these people are helping me, I’ll see them off.”
And with that, Sua hurriedly chased the friends out. Afterward, only the Mystic team remained in the meeting room.
“Are they insane?”
Kim Sun-il’s first words.
“To the point of wearing down his personality for method acting, just how much effort has he put in until now?”
“It’s indescribable. And somehow…”
Kim I-seo nodded.
“Sua always requested an immense amount of scripts. I used to wonder if she actually read through all of it, but now I understand. Sua must have read them all with total immersion.”
“…Immersion should be moderate. It’s self-destructive.”
As Kim Sun-il frowned,
“Nevertheless, it’s touching.”
Seo Yeon-joo interrupted.
“Isn’t it obvious that even though you’re empty inside, you kept acting with various emotions because you wanted to get along well with us?”
Kim I-seo finally sighed.
“Haa….”
The worry on her face was evident.
“To gain an incomprehensible ability to act, did you lose yourself in exchange? There’s probably no stranger tale like this in the world…”
Actually, Sua hadn’t lost anything.
.
.
.
.
.
At that moment,
Sua entered the hallway, intending to immediately catch her friends but cautiously went into the bathroom instead. After checking every stall to ensure there was nobody inside,
—Has this girl suddenly become smarter?
—Possibly due to being in an extreme situation.
“Quiet. I’m serious.”
Sua immediately questioned her friends.
“What are you guys? Why are you here?”
“Well, why else? We came after receiving an invitation. Not from anyone but from you, who helped us get it.”
Deer showed the text received from Kim I-seo.
“No, um, what I mean is, if you were coming, why didn’t you say something beforehand?”
“You hid the identity of Kim Yu-han too.”
“…”
That left Sua speechless.
The friends had only received invitations for helping her out. They felt hurt by her omission of the truth about Kim Yu-han.
Then Deer extended her hand.
“Anyways, it all worked out, right? Looking at you just now, it seemed like the company strategy was to keep quiet about everything. So, we decided to help you solidify this image of being robotic.”
“…What, can you even see that?”
Sua was amazed. Friends are more than just acquaintances, aren’t they? Understanding your image management like that.
That’s how they shook hands.
“Naturally. First, Servant Syndrome must never be revealed. Imagine the exploitation via contracts every single time? Calling you a retard, surely.”
“No, um, I understand you did it for me, but I…”
“What? Did you just say ‘I’?”
“…Nothing.”
Sua trailed off, incapable of rejecting the description of “retard” and “Servant Syndrome.”
Retard was something Sua herself couldn’t deny out of conscience. The latter part, well… Somehow, her friends believed she had Servant Syndrome and were helping her, right? So.
…Amazing. How did it even come to this?
“Why did you stop speaking? Yeah, we didn’t leak any of your dark history, did we? And that makes us pretty good sisters, right? Mm?”
“Yeah, that’s truly grateful.”
Sua vigorously shook the hands they had clasped.
“By mouth?”
“What?”
At the same time, their eyes sparkled.
“Sua, can you give us a Kim Yu-han voice impersonation?”
“Oh, really. Please. Do it.”
“I seriously can’t believe it’s really you, Sua? Is it?”
Sua was repelled.
“Ah, stop it. I don’t do that kind of stuff.”
Then her friends gripped her hand tightly.
“Did we ask for money or threaten you? We worked hard in our respective fields for your success. You can surely do this much, right? A mere voice impersonation…”
“…”
Upon reflection, that seemed true.
“Ah, really just this once…”
Sua cleared her throat a few times and then,
『Shhh, it’s a secret.』
“Aahhhhhhhh!”
“Kyaah! Kyaaahh!”
“Eheheheheh!”
Panic erupted among them.
They jumped around and eventually slid down the wall. How crazy was the show when it aired back then?
Sua was frightened that someone might hear them.
“Hey! Shhh!”
Sau covered her friends’ mouths.
“Is the voice impersonation done?”
“Don’t forget to appear in our shows later!”
“Let me meet Sun-il again!”
“And trust us a bit. Sua, let us know if there’s any surprising turn later. We’re friends, after all.”
“Alright, alright…”
Sua sighed deeply.
Certainly, success is extraordinary. She had never imagined sharing such moments with her friends before.
Well, consider having gained a noisy but dependable ally.
.
.
.
.
.
After seeing them off, Sua felt a mix of emotions.
‘Not sure if it’s a good thing or a bad thing…’
Yes, it confused her.
Is the misunderstanding set by her friends really a help? Should the truth be revealed now?
Unfortunately, her brain couldn’t determine.
Right at that moment,
—Absolutely good enough.
Kim Yu-han Sua spoke.
‘Yu-haan Sua!’
Sua cried out in joy. My light! My intelligence!
—In my opinion, the friends did something truly incredible today. They built a foundation for Sua Senior to move onto a bigger stage. Truly worthy to mention.
‘Eh? Turning me into an emotionless machine was that?’
—Exactly. Sua Senior.
Kim Yu-han clicked their tongue.
—First off, do you realize you’re currently succeeding at an incredible pace?
“Yeah. I know.”
The news articles flooding in made it impossible not to know.
—The problem is, your intellect’s growth rate can’t keep up with your rapid success. That’s a serious issue.
“…”
Sua narrowed her eyes and glared at Kim Yu-han.
“… Continue.”
—It’s true that while Sua Senior has become skilled in image management, you’re fundamentally human. Can you honestly guarantee perfection in every moment?
“Uh… No, not really.”
—As you ascend to greater levels, you might make a mistake even in unexpected moments. This industry is a thin ice sheet. One mistake could send you plummeting.
“Right… but still…”
—But because of today’s actions, even if you make a mistake from now on, it won’t bring any harm. In fact, the occasional slip-ups might even be beneficial.
“What?”
Sua tilted her head in confusion.
“Am I hearing correctly? You mean I should deliberately fail in image management from now on?”
—Yes, that’s correct.
“Why?”
—Why? Well, when they think of you as a machine that has lost emotions but goes crazy with efforts, people will sympathize and applaud your perseverance instead of criticizing the flaw.
At that moment,
Crack!
A sound like something breaking echoed inside Sua’s head. Simultaneously, her mind went blank.
Finally, overloaded.
‘…’
Moments later, Sua replayed Kim Yu-han’s words.
‘…I don’t know what he means.’
—My point is, they begin to see your uncouthness, not as flaws, but as heart-touching traits they should embrace.
‘What is that supposed to mean?’
—Haa…
Kim Yu-han sighed deeply and said,
—First, return to the meeting room.
“Eh?”
—And when the opportunity allows, reveal the embarrassing truth about yourself.
“What?”
Sua jumped.
“Wha, are you crazy? The entire reason I’ve been controlling my image is to hide, and now you’re saying I should openly reveal it?”
—That’s the only way you’ll understand what I say.
Kim Yu-han stopped speaking there.
◈◈◈◈◈
Surprisingly, Kim Yu-han’s plan was quickly put to the test—right after returning to the meeting room.
Click—
“…”
The atmosphere was heavy when she opened the door.
“I’ve arrived.”
“Sua, you’re here.”
Sua noticed a subtle change in Kim I-seo’s tone.
Previously, it felt like Kim I-seo always viewed her as this difficult and complex person, but now, there was a more subtle change. A sense of worry seemed to be infused.
“Uh, Sua.”
Kim I-seo began speaking.
“From now on, you don’t need to force yourself to act out emotions while we’re around. Even if it might not resonate with you, we care about Sua as is. Please show us your true self.”
“I don’t have alexithymia.”
“Don’t hide it. There’s nothing to be ashamed of.”
“No, I’m not hiding… it’s that…,”
Sua’s words were halted by the earnest eyes of the Mystic group. At the same time, Kim Yu-han’s words came back to her: to reveal her own shameful self, as advice.
“Ugh, fine. Let me speak.”
From Sua’s perspective, claiming to have alexithymia was far from reality anyway. She also wanted to understand Kim Yu-han’s words, which led to this decision.
“There’s something I want to tell everyone.”
Sua started speaking.
“In fact, there was a time I firmly believed I was an arctic fox—a cute, soft, and delicate creature.”
“…”
The expressions of the other side grew serious immediately.
Sua pressed on despite her hesitation,
“And I like stuffed rabbits. When I’m bored, I even play with them. I hold one in each hand and make silly dialogues, and when I’m lonely, I even eat meals with them…,”
Sua felt sweat streaming down her body.
Was she explaining her alexithymia too openly? Had she said too many embarrassing things? Oh, it seemed like foolishness. Why did Kim Yu-han suggest her to say such things?
Just then, Mystic glanced at each other.
“Didn’t we already think this was correct?”
“Yeah, guess so.”
They nodded immediately.
Correct? What exactly did that mean? Did they know all along that Sua was a bit silly?
Kim I-seo approached her.
“About what you just said,”
“Yes.”
“Those are roles from your past performances, right?”
“Huh?”
“Sua, you have alexithymia, and from the roles you’ve played until now, you solve the situations you face by dressing up like a suitable character each time. That seems like what’s happening. Right?”
Not the roles just assumed, but my own lived experiences. Hello!
“No, no. They’re not roles but my own self. And I’m telling you how I’ve lived my life.”
“Sua. Stop.”
“Excuse me?”
“It’s okay if the people around you find someone who acts childish endearing, but it’s not because they liked that person. It’s because they thought the person was easy to take advantage of. What I’m saying is that Sua does not need to make efforts to blend with us by thinking of herself as an incompetent and silly role.”
“Not, my life isn’t that foolish and…”
Sua finally comprehended Kim Yu-han’s words.
She understood. These people had accepted her as if she had lost her humanity, and when Sua occasionally revealed her rough behavior, they began to feel her humanity.
A massive dizziness overwhelmed her.
“But isn’t this too complicated? Having alexithymia is a bit…”
“No need to lie. Seriously.”
Sua decided to add force to her voice.
“That’s not the truth—!”
“Look at that, it’s Wi Ji-hye’s tone.”
“That’s not true!”
“This is Lee Kang-cheol’s tone. Sua, you’re filling yourself based on the various roles you’ve played in the past. You can trust us.”
“…”
Sua was terrified.
At this point, she was unsure whether the world was deluded or if she herself was. Was it true? Do I really have alexithymia?
Is it possible? Maybe I truly have alexithymia?
‘…’
She shook her head violently shortly after.
There’s no way! Is the world gone crazy?
—The world is functioning normally.
Kim Yu-han said.
—Let’s trace the road Sua Senior has traveled.
“Wasn’t I riding in a van?”
There was a brief silence.
—Sua Senior, you’re succeeding at an astonishing rate. In the middle of all this, wasn’t it during which you played the role of a cold and distant individual?
“Ah.”
Sua reached the truth.
“So… I….”
Have the friends misunderstood you to have Servant Syndrome, and the Mystic team to have alexithymia?
It’s not true either way, right?
Oh, how unfortunate, Sua! How did it come to this?
—Well, it’s more appropriate to reflect on how you’ve succeeded this much. Isn’t it truly remarkable that you’ve concealed your clumsiness and come this far? I assure you, it’s the highest output among all the clumsy ones.
—Yes, rejoice. Being viewed as something everyone likes is far better than being seen only as a retard, right? You’ve become an exceptional actor.
After an extended silence, Teukjeon chimed in.
[The retard can act too well.]
‘…’
At that instant, Kim I-seo spoke again.
“I’ve pondered what I can do for Sua.”
“I don’t know what it is, but I’d rather you not do it.”
Sua’s tone was somewhat cynical.
Sua’s cynicism. Sua’s resignation. Sua’s abandonment…
At that moment, Kim I-seo continued,
“Just as Sua inspires our acting, we’ll try to teach her how to feel emotions.”
“Right. Mystic is family, isn’t it?”
Sua shook her head.
“No, this is really wrong…”
“Alexithymia isn’t wrong. It’s a sign that Sua has worked hard. Gradually, let’s help Sua reclaim her humanity.”
“…”
Sua concluded there.
No, in what way exactly…
It seemed impossible to shake free from this misunderstanding.
