Chapter 148

148th Episode

Hassan and the Underground Market

“Hotshan, no way! This one is the last, I’m telling you—!”

Luna flailed her hands as if trying to shake me off, but my hand was already grabbing the last Wildling stuck to Luna’s chest.

And then I slurped.

Gulping, guu-ing…

『You have consumed the breast milk of the Queen of the Sky.』

『Mission + 100.』

『Current Mission Points + 279.』

Swish! Drinking that strange liquid creature gave me over 200 mission points! sh*t, I can’t even tell if this is a dream or reality.

With 200 mission points, I can surely level up at least twice. As my current level is 19, if I use all these points, my level will break into the 20s.

Then achieving the rank of a Silver Tier adventurer, which requires level 30, might not be just a dream.

“Huff—.”

“Hotshan, you idiot! You ate all of my Wildlings! I only told you to eat one!”

Apparently, Luna was pretty mad that I had eaten all her Wildlings. Well, no wonder—each of them costs about 2 gold, so they’re extremely precious creatures.

Of course, she has every right to be upset if I just go around eating them.

I understood that very well, yet the moment I tasted their flavor, I couldn’t think anymore—it was like my body was demanding it. I wonder why I acted like that.

“Sorry, Luna. I didn’t do it on purpose. Here, let me give you the gold equivalent of what I ate.”

“…Okay!”

When I handed Luna 4 gold coins, which was the equivalent of what I ate, her expression instantly brightened up. Although her rapid mood swings were hard to adjust to, it was somewhat helpful.

“Haha, I got my gold coins back. What should I do with this now? Should we go check out if there are more Wildlings?”

“Ho-ho, it seems my brother and sister have already adapted to the underground market. Meanwhile, I’ll go check out the Dragon Whisk Lute I’ve been wanting to buy for a while.”

“In that case, I’ll take a look too… there’s something that’s been on my mind.”

With that, we parted ways, each to squander the money we had.

As a result, Luna and I wandered around the underground market together, looking for the place where we had just eaten the Wildlings.

However, there wasn’t a single place selling the liquid monster.

Apparently, the three Wildlings Luna had purchased earlier were the last ones available.

“The stock doesn’t usually come in regularly. Maybe one a month, if that. And you never know when they will.”

“Maybe while gazing at the Milky Way, one will fall by luck.”

Even the merchants of the underground market marveled at the rarity of Wildlings. Indeed, they were costly and rare creatures.

It feels like something akin to a 100-year-old ginseng-eating white fox—ginseng-eating white foxes are used as valuable medicinal materials. Whenever my father found one of those creatures, he’d be delighted for a month.

In any case, we spent about half a day wandering around the underground market.

“My legs hurt.”

After spending a long time walking, the tired Luna sat on an old wooden barrel lying nearby. I also sat next to her, deciding to take a brief rest.

At the perfect moment, the two totems Luna had prepared earlier were there, so I used them to level up. Of course, without any hesitation, all the stats were invested in Strength.

As a result, out of the two levels I leveled up, I was granted additional stats once, so my Strength stat increased by a total of 3 points.

“Glory to Chaos.”

Ding!

『Name: Hassan Lv. 19 22

Strength: 9 12

Agility: 4

Health: 6

Mission Points: 179

Blessing: Blessing of Chaos 『Radiant Hand』『Cloak of Night』』

“Ho-ho.”

My strength stat is at 12.

12.

12, which isn’t that far from the 15 that Hippolyte’s Strength stat had. If I remember correctly, Elpride’s Strength stat was around 12.

Gaaaaaaak.

Tensing my hand into a fist, I could feel an undeniable sense of omnipotence coursing through my body.

There was a definite sensation that I could now accomplish things I couldn’t before. In truth, this feeling had started when my stats crossed over 10.

How much stronger have I become?

If only there was a bench-press machine to measure my strength, but while I was lamenting the lack of it, I noticed Luna glaring at me intently.

“What’s up?”

“Just… nothing.”

In response to my question, Luna continued to gaze at my face without explaining. How long has it been since I last felt a stare piercing through me like this?

Even though we are close, this somehow makes it all the more awkward.

“Still, you’re ugly.”

“Hey, why the sudden insult?”

“Your hair is black, and your eyes are black too. Black is an ominous color, you know. But I like it.”

Suddenly belittling someone’s appearance—does this mean I’ve just realized I’m ugly? I started to worry whether the ‘bean paste hat’ effect in Luna’s eyes has finally worn off.

“Still, I like that you’re ugly. I don’t think anyone else would like you but me.”

“What? Why the weird reason?”

Is there some hipster quality in the standard of beauty? Hearing that Luna likes me because I’m ugly was oddly reassuring.

Still, I rarely got called ugly, but here, due to the prejudice that all barbarians are ‘strangely born,’ there wasn’t much I could do about it.

Then Luna said something.

“However, what looks nice to me might look nice to other people too.”

“…What? Why do you suddenly say that? Is someone liking me?”

“No, it’s just that I thought maybe in the future as you keep getting famous. You’re getting stronger, and as your fame grows, admirers will appear. Among them, there may even be women.”

“Why are you worrying about that so early?”

In response to my casual remark, Luna said,

“Hotshan, I wish you become famous enough that you reach Gold Tier, but on the other hand, I also wish you remain my small hero rummaging in the dirt, just like this.”

Instinctively, I could tell Luna was feeling anxious.

I had heard the same story—women often worry if their partners will get entangled with other women.

In severe cases, some even go as far as preventing their partner from interacting with or talking to other women. One of my friends had a girlfriend who was exactly that type—she even removed every single female name from his phone.

Of course, I understood why she felt that way since my friend was a popular socialite, but I’m just an unremarkable barbarian at the bottom, far from being popular.

Luna probably worried that someday another woman might try to get close to even me. And oddly enough, Luna’s hunch often hit eerily close to the truth.

So, while picturing Hippolyte’s face in my mind, I delicately and casually asked,

“Uh, Luna? Not really important, but out of curiosity… what do you think about polygamy?”

At my question, Luna’s face immediately crumpled.

“Why are you asking that?”

Well now, she counters instead of answering directly like she usually does. It was almost like getting a sharp counterpunch instead of her usual chatter.

Just now when I was answering, I got hit in the chest by Elpride, but this punch to my abdomen hurt more.

“C’mon, it’s just out of curiosity.”

“Just out of curiosity? There must be a reason, right.”

“Really, genuinely curious.”

“…Why are you curious about that?”

Luna began hissing like a fierce dinosaur, her claws out. I could faintly see her sharp fangs, making her quite intimidating.

“Quick, tell me the truth, or I’ll bite you, Hassan!”

“No, well, that’s…”

sh*t, at a time like this, if only I had the silver-tongued eloquence of my friend. What would Malco say in a situation like this?

“Brother, you’re in deep sh*t.”

He’d probably say that. Wait, what’s that? Did I just hear Malco’s voice?

Turning my head, I saw Malco walking our way, practically half-n*ked.

Finally, this guy caused trouble. Adding public indecency to petty theft and raucous misconduct now, huh?

“Malco, you piece of—What happened!”

I ran towards Malco with all my strength. The tension from Luna’s counter-question dissipated with the third party’s entry. Thankfully.

“Malco, you b*stard! Long time no see!”

“To be greeted warmly like this feels wonderful. It’s like a little sunshine has graced my frozen heart. Still, the situation hasn’t changed much.”

Malco was wearing nothing but his underwear, sans the ridiculous wizard’s hat and the cumbersome musical instrument he usually carried.

What kind of trouble could have reduced him to this state in just half a day?

“What on earth happened?”

“I was robbed by thieves. Who would have thought they’d even steal the clothes I was wearing!”

“sh*t, you had your clothes stolen?”

A thief who could steal even worn clothes deserves a different title, like an artist or something, rather than a mere thief. Perhaps the King of Thieves?

At that moment, Malco added more.

“In truth, I lost it all in gambling. If I had gone just a little longer, I could have won big! But, Mercury, why do you subject me to these trials…?”

“sh*t man, I really thought you had your clothes stolen.”

If a thief could steal even the clothes off someone’s back, they were definitely connected to the Thieves Guild in some capacity.

Maybe if we trace this guy, it could help dismantle the elusive Thieves Guild we’ve been unable to track for so long.

We couldn’t figure out where or how to begin with such a broad area like the underground. Asking around, “Do you know about the Thieves Guild?” simply wouldn’t work.

As I was slightly disheartened by this, Malco grabbed my collar.

“No, I was robbed alright. It was definitely a scam. The bastards set up a rigged game on me. If this isn’t being robbed, then what is?”

“Man, sh*t like that happens to everyone who loses money gambling. Let go of me, bro. What’s with a half-n*ked guy—”

Between men, the only touch allowed is during emergency rescue or when fists fly in violence, that’s the universal rule. Any other touch? It’s straight-up out of bounds.

“Let go, dude, before I punch you!”

“I was robbed, man. They took my gold, my gold!”

But clearly, Malco wasn’t in his right mind.

Based on his story, he seemed to have lost all his gold in half a day. It would be strange if he was sane after such a disaster.

If I lost money gambling, I wouldn’t have any self-control left.

“Lord Hassan, Lady Luna! Lord Malco! Were you here…! I’ve been looking for you quite a while…!”

Just then, someone was waving far away, heading toward us. It was Paranoi, the Nymph’s convert. In her hand, she held a peculiar bone.

“Hehe, I got lucky…! I managed to buy a Nymph hand bone for 7 gold coins…! They said that wands made from Nymph hand bones are very effective, right…?”

A Nymph holding a Nymph hand bone? My brain was twisting, trying to figure out how to explain such a bizarre sensation.

“Hey, isn’t this Nymph prejudice?”

“It’s fine between Nymphs…!”

If it’s okay between Nymphs? Like how blacks might tease each other with racial slurs but it’s not okay for someone else to do so—is it something like that feeling?

As I was convincing myself of this idea, Luna, who had been sulking nearby, suddenly brightened up and spoke.

“Nymph hand bone! Wow! Check it out! Show it!”

As always, her knack for forgetting sulks and anger quickly was quite admirable. Luna’s life must always be enjoyable.

Swish. Clatter.

Luna took the hand bone from Paranoi and exclaimed, “Ooooh~.”

“This, is this the famous Nymph hand bone…”

“Lady Luna, isn’t it amazing…?”

“…It’s really cool. So, you have two of these great bones?”

“Ye, yes, but…”

“Paranoi, it’s amazing!”

“Hyeeek!”

Soon, Luna grabbed Paranoi around the waist tightly.

This is all ridiculous.

Still, today was just a preliminary experience of the underground market. The real quest starts tomorrow with Hippolyte, so I guess it’s fine to relax today.

The balance between work and rest is crucial, after all.

So summing it up, Malco lost everything gambling.

Paranoi apparently blew her money on some hand bone?

Luna and I have around 4 and 6 gold coins of the underground currency remaining. We definitely earned over 30 gold, yet we wonder where all the money went. Earning is brutally hard, but spending it all within half a day is effortless.

Still, that’s the life of low-tier Iron to Bronze adventurers.

Without ever having made significant money, they can’t save. Even getting such an opportunity, they tend to blow it all at once like hitting a jackpot. Many also end up in debt.

Simply being debt-free makes it a relatively hardworking and decent life for a low-tier adventurer.

“Hm, Paranoi, this still seems fake, though.”

“Th, that’s impossible…!”

“Nope, it’s fake. This looks like a monkey bone to me. Look, the joint structure and knuckles are a bit different, right? I’ve handled a lot of monkey bones, so I know.”

Luna had a keen eye for materials. Therefore, Paranoi’s bone was proven to be a counterfeit, not a real Nymph hand bone.

Paranoi screamed in anguish.

“Hiiiiik! Lord Hassan! What should I do…! I’ve been scammed…! All my money….”

“sh*t, what to do, you ask? You need to get a refund.”

Seven gold coins is a huge sum. While losing money in gambling can be chalked up to one’s own fault, selling fake goods is something that should definitely be contested.

“Where is the place? Let’s go.”

“Th, there, that way….”

We led the distressed Paranoi, wandering through the alleys of the underground market. After turning through several corners, we came upon a store filled with strange items—bones of odd shapes, pots with plants growing, leather pouches, and oddities of unknown purpose.

What should we call this? An underground sundries shop? Exactly, that’s it.

“Welcome.”

The shop owner was a man with one eye covered by an eyepatch, wearing a black bandana on his head. With his beard, he appeared to be in his thirties to late forties, though in this world, it’s hard to tell the real age due to old-age blindness.

“Looks like you aren’t here to shop, are you?”

Because of Paranoi’s whimpering, the man smirked and pointed to the corner. There was a broad iron sign hanging there.

“Our store is guarded by a Hydra. No returns, so leave.”

Etched onto the iron sign was a nine-headed lizard. Was this shop affiliated with the Thieves Guild? That’s probably why they could sell counterfeit goods so brazenly.

This is great.

If we investigate this guy, we might obtain information on the thieves I was looking for. With this in mind, I decided to threaten him and test out my newly honed intimidation skills, learned from the slums.

“Be a good boy and give back the money. Otherwise, you’ll end up looking bad. I’ll flay your skin.”

“Wha? S, skin?”

The one-eyed shop owner flinched slightly at my threat.

We are four.

He is alone.

Seems like he has no choice but to back down, right? But after a while, he burst out laughing.

“I was startled for a moment. So, you’re a barbarian brimming with wildness, it seems. Intimidation, huh? But I’ve been doing business here in the underground for more than a few months.”

Indeed, this guy must be experienced, judging by how ineffective my half-practiced growls were at frightening him.

The one-eyed man spoke.

“If you want to boast about your strength, go ahead and break that iron plate over there. Then I’ll reconsider giving you the money back.”

The one-eyed man pointed at the iron plate hanging on the wall with his finger. It was a sturdy, cool-to-the-touch iron plate, fairly thick. This would pass as a proper iron plate, no doubt.

“I wanted to see how much stronger you’ve become, this is perfect.”

“Really going to try? It won’t even get a scratch easily. It’s made of titanium, you know. Even a bear couldn’t bend it—.”

Crack.

“Didn’t you say it wouldn’t bend? Why… why is it bending…?”

“Alright, give the money back now. And you, you have something to tell me.”

Crack. Crack.

I casually threw the crumpled iron plate in front of him, now balled up like a piece of paper.

He was astonished and at a loss for what to do,

…and truthfully, I was just as shocked internally.

sh*t, my strength had increased beyond my expectations.

[Author’s Note]

Alright, the illustration of Paranoi was completed last night… Soon, it will be available as a large image in the work settings…

Anyway, despite the controversies surrounding Paranoi’s character, she won the illustration voting overwhelmingly… We must accept the results… This is democratic Micturition-style… If you don’t vote actively, you might end up with a cover illustration of a character you don’t want…

For reference, the composition, posture, and costume in the illustration are crafted by me, Micturition, racking my brain to make something the readers would like…! I hope you can feel the hard work put in by both me and the artist star741…!!!

---