Chapter 1650 – Conquering Nan Sheng, Killing An Huan (Sixty)
She couldn’t help but think of Lü Zheng’s earlier words.
“Living is easy, but living with dignity is difficult.”
Kang Xintong couldn’t imagine that she might end up in such a plight years down the line.
After throwing up, she curled up, hugging her knees and weeping bitterly, resenting her gender. “Sir… all women in this world are fated to suffer. Why must there even be women? Wouldn’t it be better to just die at birth?”
Even if her mother meant well, so what?
Just because her mother wanted the best for her, could she disregard her will and thoughts and impose such cruelty and torment?
Was what she thought was good truly good?
Why didn’t she ask herself whether dignified death without pain or a life filled with oppression and violence was better?
Isn’t violence and torment disguised as love just abuse?
Lü Zheng interrupted her spiral of chaotic thoughts just in time.
“You are thinking these nonsensical thoughts because you have seen too little. Just like how you only saw your mother’s wickedness. But you are unaware that all sentient beings suffer. Whether it’s the women in these dark alleys or the other refugees who haven’t had a meal in days, their greatest agony isn’t the torment inflicted upon them, like hunger and poverty, but the endless nature of that torment, which can only be escaped through death. Living yet seeing not a glimmer of hope, existing like a walking corpse, not even understanding why they live, only knowing that living one more day is one more day… This kind of undignified torment is often harder to bear than physical suffering.”
Common people can often endure physical pain, but they can’t withstand mental agony.
The result of being unable to endure leads to people like Kang Xintong entertaining thoughts of escaping through death.
That’s just jumping from one dead end into another.
“What good does having more experience do?”
After all, Kang Xintong was still just a little girl who had just turned twelve.
Although her life had its bumps, she hadn’t faced the cruelest human purgatories, and the world to her remained black and white.
Lü Zheng wanted to teach her what “grey” meant.
“It’s not that all women in the world will end up like this, just that times are unstable, and anyone can fall into that situation.” Lü Zheng said, “Using beauty to serve men is a shortcut, but not every ‘shortcut’ can reach the same height. Even ‘serving men’ has its own levels of high and low status. If your target is your stepfather, then the prostitutes in the back alleys would most likely depict your later life. But if you choose a powerful noble or a tyrant who holds the world, it would conjure a different situation. Isn’t that thinking too small?”
Kang Xintong had no words in response.
After quite a while, she awkwardly lowered her head.
“I don’t think I have that capability.”
Kang Xintong knew she had a strong foundation, inheriting the best traits from both her biological parents, something evident from her stepfather’s increasingly intense and bizarre gaze over these past two years. Although she was naive, she understood his thoughts; it was a gaze that unabashedly revealed the ferocity of a predatory beast. Every time her mother panicked and went into a frenzy of abuse, it gave her a false sense of security.
She thought that if that man were completely obedient to her, then her mother wouldn’t dare abuse her anymore.
Time and again, those hints led her to construct this equation in her mind.
Using her body to exchange for power in a man’s hands and thereby suppress her abusive mother could lead to a better life.
Just as Lü Zheng said, her experiences were limited, and her narrow vision constrained her imagination.
The best choice she could conceive was this, and her only target was her stepfather.
In such a case, how could she believe her delicate charms could attract someone more powerful than her stepfather?
Lü Zheng sighed and shook his head.
“Do you know who Liu Xi is?”
Kang Xintong shook her head.
Although Jiang Ji was a powerful lord known throughout the lands, few common folks knew her. Dongqing was somewhat better, as Jiang Ji’s fame was quite high, and many knew her name, origins, and gender. The people of Nan Sheng were rather clueless; they barely understood that aside from Nan Sheng, there were other nations, let alone the lords of those lands.
They struggled to survive; how could they have the leisure to learn about these things?
Even if they wanted to, they had no means to do so.
“Liu Xi is a woman.”
Kang Xintong blinked in confusion, guessing, “A stunning beauty?”
Lü Zheng recalled the faces of his childhood friends and shook his head in denial.
That girl was quite popular among the young girls from Langya County, but he hadn’t heard of any man who would like her; she was too sharp-tongued and bitter to the core.
In contrast, Zixiao, known as the flower of Langya, had far better luck with men than that authentic woman.
“She is not a peerless beauty; indeed, she has an ordinary face, but few people pay attention to her looks. Actually, no matter how ugly or beautiful she is, whether whole or disabled, it means nothing to her or those around her.”
Kang Xintong asked, “Why is that?”
“Because there are not many who are qualified to gaze upon her face directly. People look down at her, first seeing her feet, not her face.”
Kang Xintong asked again, “Then who is the lady?”
“The lady?” Lü Zheng scoffed with a smirk, “No matter how dignified a lady might be, she still relies on her husband and family. Once the country falls and her family collapses, should her husband lose favor and her family abandon her, even a lady who is above all others can end up in the back alleys; how can we compare?”
Kang Xintong was puzzled; who exactly was the “Liu Xi” that Lü Zheng spoke of?
“Liu Xi” was a woman, yet with a status even more exalted than a lady; could she possibly be the Emperor?
She timidly asked, “The only ones more exalted than a lady are either the Emperor or gods from the heavens…”
Lü Zheng replied, “Not quite the Emperor, since she didn’t publicly declare her ascent, but she’s close enough—a de facto emperor without the title.”
He explained that in the lands of Dongqing, a dynasty could be established, with Jiang Ji having the authority over territories larger than Dongqing, thus qualifying her to be called an emperor.
However, her ambition clearly exceeded what Dongqing could accommodate.
Nan Sheng was also one of her targets.
Kang Xintong’s mouth gaped wide open, her little face alight with astonishment.
“The higher you climb, the farther you can see. Even if you can’t reach her level, by observing her, you can remember that a woman’s beauty is neither a blessing nor a curse; it is simply a part bestowed by one’s parents, something innate. Being a daughter doesn’t mean you must crawl in the dust.” Lü Zheng chuckled as he flicked her forehead, “As long as you stand at a higher position than others, your beauty becomes merely a capital they praise you for, while otherwise, it is just a prey for their envy, much like your mother, who is merely a prey.”
Kang Xintong’s lips turned pale.
“Your mother indeed made mistakes, but wishing for you to live with dignity is her true intention.”
Lü Zheng surprisingly had the patience to express so much, and even he found it odd.
Had Wei Ci been a live-streaming dried fish, he would have only been able to express his feelings with a double tap of 666.
Lü Zheng would never know how greatly his words had tilted the fate of Kang Xintong.
