The attack on Dedolant’s Secret Supply Depot carried on through the night.
Of course it was happening at night since we resorted to a surprise attack along with arson tactics.
And therefore, all of us in the Imperial Army had to stay up and hustle without even catching a wink of sleep.
“Hmm.”
What a fulfilling sleepless night. Yeah, this kind of thing’s way more invigorating than working overtime, you know?
Now, I may not be as skilled as Kaya with swords and shields, flying around like a whirling dervish, but I’m a Klawitz! Occasionally stepping out to assess the scene in person helps keep my mind clear.
“Nice work, Legion Commander. How bad are our casualties?”
“There were some casualties. Even though we had the advantage with our surprise attack combined with arson, we sustained some damage. If anything goes wrong, I assume responsibility…”
“Come on, when you’re fighting a battle, zero casualties would be more bizarre. Quickly send the wounded to the rear, and ensure those who lost their lives are properly documented and reported.”
A soldier often mourns and remembers the sudden d*ath of another soldier right beside them.
However, a commander, while they may feel sorrow, can’t let themselves get lost in it. No matter how you slice it, they’ve got a job where they must view human lives as numbers.
You need to desensitize, but without becoming entirely emotionless. Always a tough balancing act; no doubt about that.
“Sir!”
“Yes, Chief of Staff.”
“Upon returning, please have the General Staff prepare and submit the next offense plan against Dedolant’s defense strongholds. With the supply depot gone, the impact will surely show within a few days.”
Thinking about it, they’re barely hanging on as it is. Not being able to eat properly will seal the deal. The commanders are all or nothing types anyway—if they lose, they’ll all be dead.
But for the soldiers and kingdom folk at the bottom, it’s a different story. Hopefully, before we complete the Manhattan Project, the enemy comes to their senses. Blasting them all to smithereens might be satisfying, but honestly, a quiet resolution would be just fine. We don’t need our empire known as monster-makers—it’s bad for our reputation.
“Oh, but Chief. A report just came in.”
“Where from? Perhaps from the capital?”
“Not exactly… it’s a message from His Highness the Second Princess requesting to see you.”
Stop. Right there. I don’t want to think about the whipping I’m going to get already. After all, isn’t it destiny to endure nagging from women as men?
Come to think of it, my dad was subtly being led around by mom too, as far as I can remember.
Honestly though… I am a little scared. What’s she going to yell about this time?
But it’s all good! I haven’t done anything out of the ordinary. I didn’t go meet some girl. This was just to boost morale and maintain my field acumen!
I am confident! Even if the Princess criticizes me, I can take it with grace!
In fact, responding confidently might just encourage her to back off!
…
That was me earlier. You’re such a j*rk.
“I’m sorry. I was wrong. Your Highness, Princess.”
“How dare you tell me something is dangerous, then proceed to the enemy’s supply depot with Dedolant’s troops nearby?! And you’re the Chief of Staff who’s supposed to lead the Imperial Army?!”
“Because of that exact reason, I thought leading our troops there was necessary… Yes, my apologies. I’ll shut up now.”
The moment I returned, Princess charged straight into my office, completely ignoring what others thought or how they looked at us.
She didn’t bother to grab my collar like last time. Instead, she grabbed my wrist and launched into a complaint about my disregard for life and safety.
“Are you claiming that you’ve now adapted to being Chief of Staff, so my advice is trivial now?!”
” Absolutely not! How could I ever be someone like that?!”
“Then what is this?!”
“Even those who command from behind must not lose their field perspective.”
And exactly what does this field experience entail anyway?
Under the Princess’s pressing questions, I confessed something that had been lingering within me since a while ago… or maybe even longer.
“At first, I thought I would only command a platoon at best.”
“Really, Kael? That’s unlikely.”
“It was so at first. And then, in the blink of an eye, I was promoted higher and higher, until I found myself in this position.”
This is a result of my past memories, the advantages I had due to my background, and a little luck all combined. People may add skill to that list, but I primarily credit those three factors.
“Thanks to that, I can make the most of my somewhat limited talents. Nevertheless, I am not made of steel, Your Highness.”
As I’ve already mentioned, a commander inevitably needs to view lives as numbers. From the soldiers leading teams in the field to the Legion Commanders, and ultimately, up to me.
When a hundred soldiers d*e in battle, they’ll mourn the loss. In our case though, we’ll be relieved it’s not more.
You don’t have time to grieve the d*ath of a hundred; there must be two hundred injured. Now, how do you efficiently transport and treat those two hundred? How do you fill the gaps left by those who’ve died? And how much damage did our enemies sustain, causing our losses in the first place?
You become desensitized. If you don’t, you won’t survive on the battlefield. But you also can’t allow yourself to become completely emotionless and start treating lives like disposable resources. You’ve got to find that balance, even when the war rages on. Every day, countless lives are lost, and yet the world moves on.
“My father once told me this: those who are far removed from the field do not understand its difficulties, while those who stay only in the field may not comprehend the challenges of leadership. So the best option is to occasionally switch positions and see things from the other’s perspective.”
“The Duke of Bertier speaks wisely.”
“So that’s why I do this sometimes—just in case I’ve become so entrenched in my current role that I lose touch with the field and the hardships there.”
Thinking about it now is a little scary. Am I slowly turning into a monster?
When someone dies, do I simply think, “Oh, they’re dead. I need to quickly replenish these numbers.” And worry more about the financial costs and logistics than the grieving families of the lost sons, husbands, or fathers?
“Perhaps it would ease the pressure if I stepped down as Chief of Staff now. While I wouldn’t fully retreat from command, I could move further back, so to speak…”
“I think it’s necessary to see this through to the end. Since I’ve brought us this far, I should also be the one to lead them back home.”
That’s the fate of someone who leads many soldiers, isn’t it? You lead others’ precious sons to battle, and you have to make sure you send them back home safely.
No matter if your previous life was in a democratic country or if it’s a monarchy like now, the principle remains the same. When borrowing something, it’s essential to ensure its safe return.
And in this case, you should treat soldiers as borrowed resources, with the responsibility to return them in good shape, not as something damaged upon arrival.
“Well, there are my reasons, but Your Highness, you are correct as well. Of course, from my high position, there’s a duty to send soldiers home safely, not recklessly endanger myself with these direct missions, causing confusion in the Empire’s command structure.”
“Hmph. Acknowledging your mistake now doesn’t make anything different.”
Princess casually moved and sat on the table.
“I get it. No matter how composed you appear, I know how anxious you must be inside. Showing it won’t help anything, and even if it did, it wouldn’t be right either.”
“Maybe sending me here was because my older siblings knew you, Kael, needed someone like me.”
She picked up a document that was lying around and scanned its contents. Based on what I know, it recorded casualty figures from one of the sieges a few days ago—a sheet where human lives were represented as mere numbers.
“Even seeing reports like this daily, you haven’t become as callous as you could, Kael. That’s rather commendable.”
“Or maybe I’m simply not suited for this position.”
“Don’t say that. The way you’ve handled things so far proves otherwise.”
Let me say it again, Kael. You’re, well, a good person.
Her words made an involuntary smile creep onto my face. It felt like a comforting reassurance or a boost of courage. Amazing how just her single statement could make me feel so much better.
“After this war is over, let’s brainstorm ideas to help those who were hurt or fell during their service, together, you and I.”
“Your support as a Princess would make a huge difference.”
“Because you get aid from the royal family?”
“No, because you, Princess, are here by my side.”
Just like now. When things get hard and you need a shoulder to lean on, knowing you have one nearby is reassuring.
With a gesture, Princess signaled me closer and smiled.
“Remember our previous conversation? The one where I told you to try calling me by my name?”
“I recall.”
“Go ahead. Call me by my name. Isabel.”
“…Isabel.”
“One more time. This time, a shortened version. Belle.”
My rational mind screamed this isn’t appropriate while my mouth acted on its own. Finally, my conscience just gave up, throwing its hands in the air.
“Belle.”
“Only when we’re alone, alright? Understood?”
“Understood. Princess… Belle. I’ll do as you ask.”
As soon as my words finished, the distance between the Princess and me—and now just Belle—shortened. I wasn’t sure if I moved closer or if she did.
But one thing was certain: her lips were extremely warm and tender.
