Yeon-joo continued walking along the path.
<21 years old>
21-year-old Seo Yeon-joo had transformed into someone almost unrecognizably beautiful compared to her past. This was due to her rigorous self-management.
“It’s easy, really easy… It’s not difficult anymore…”
21-year-old Seo Yeon-joo mumbled these words.
Their eyes met, then she smirked. She exuded an arrogant attitude, like someone who understood the workings of the world.
–Seo Yeon-joo, what is your life?
“Life itself is just one long movie. There’s no choice but to act throughout. It’s simple once you get it. Just gauge the situation and do what everyone will like, and that’s it. Then you’ll earn both affection and money in abundance.”
“…”
Seo Yeon-joo’s expression became ambiguous.
In the end, even 21-year-old Seo Yeon-joo didn’t talk about herself. When asked what her life was, she only responded with what everyone would like.
Click-click—
Seo Yeon-joo continued to walk.
Her pace had quickened somewhat. In a corner of her mind, there was a hope: perhaps if she kept walking straight, she’d reach a definitive answer.
“…”
But soon, she had to stop.
Because she could go no further.
‘…Thorns? The path’s blocked.’
Thorny bushes, piled up like mountains, blocked the road. The thorns were long and razor-sharp.
–Seo Yeon-joo, what is your life?
This time, there was no Yeon-joo to answer.
It was only natural. She couldn’t go any further.
Then—
–Seo Yeon-joo, what is your life?
A pitch-black shadow coalesced into the shape of Seo Yeon-joo and materialized to ask.
“Frankly, I don’t know.”
—That’s all there is. Those are simply the footprints you’ve left while walking through life.
The shadow briefly spoke.
—So, Seo Yeon-joo, what is your life?
“…I don’t know. Stop asking already. If I keep going a little further, I think I’ll understand. Is there no other way?”
—No. Even if you go further, there will be no other you.
“Why isn’t there?”
Seo Yeon-joo was bewildered. The Seo Yeon-joo at 22, 23, 24… all should have been there, right?
At that moment, the shadow pointed at the 21-year-old Yeon-joo.
—Your answers ended right there.
It was then that Seo Yeon-joo finally understood.
The 21-year-old Yeon-joo had defined life as “a movie that must be acted throughout life,” and that thought had remained unchanged until now.
Thus, even if she went further, there would be no other Yeon-joo, and even if there was, there would be little to gain. After all, those Yeon-joo’s would give the same answer as the 21-year-old.
“Then, what lies at the end of this path?”
—My question’s answer. What you’re seeking.
“Then why didn’t you say that earlier?”
Seo Yeon-joo approached the thorny bushes.
“…If I can just push through this, I’ll know everything. Who I truly am, what voice of my heart I carry, and what I want to do.”
She attempted to test the thorny bushes with the tip of her finger.
But—
Snap—
“!”
The thorny bushes, alive like a whip, lashed out and struck her hand. It was so sudden that there wasn’t even time to scream. A moment later, pain surged.
“Ah, ouch…!”
As a burning sensation like fire spread, blood flowed from her hand. However, where her blood touched the thorny bushes, it sizzled and disappeared.
Seo Yeon-joo finally understood the rule.
‘I have to erase the thorny bushes with my blood to move forward.’
And the next thought that struck her was—
‘Am I insane?’
It was absurd. How much blood would she need to shed to penetrate such a massive thorny bush? Even torture couldn’t be this cruel. Even with a hundred lives, it seemed insufficient.
“…”
But Seo Yeon-joo soon shook her head.
‘I want to change from before. I must find the answer.’
After making up her mind, she moved forward again, shielding her face with her arms and forcing her way through.
However—
“Hiih! Yik!”
It hurt. It hurt far too much.
There was no way she could advance further.
How many times did she attempt this?
“Aaah… aaah…”
Eventually, Seo Yeon-joo collapsed.
Her entire body was torn and bloodied.
It was a point of no return. It even seemed impossible to attempt again. At the mere sight of the thorny bushes, her legs trembled uncontrollably, fear now etched into her mind.
The shadow observed Seo Yeon-joo dispassionately.
–Seo Yeon-joo, what is your life?
“My life, my life is…”
Suddenly biting her lips, Seo Yeon-joo—
“What am I supposed to know—that!”
She shouted furiously.
“If I knew it already, would I be here? Why does this thorny bush even exist in the first place? This rule is absurd! Break through this and you’ll tell me the answer? Does that even make sense? It’s no different from torture! You’re just causing pointless suffering!”
–Every answer lies beyond the path.
Even as the blood-soaked Seo Yeon-joo almost shrieked, the shadow’s response was calm. It simply ended there.
–Moreover, this space exists because you wished it to.
Seo Yeon-joo shook her head, shedding tears.
“No. I don’t want this. Just let me out already. I don’t know anymore. Or just kill me if you must. I don’t want anything else now…”
All her earlier confidence, her belief that she could hear her heart, had vanished. What she had dreamed of in animated movies—some miraculous awakening—was too far from her reality.
There was no sudden realization, no sudden acquisition of immense power, no indomitable courage that would arise in her.
She was weak. She was still weak.
Meanwhile, Seo Yeon-joo sensed a presence. Her past selves had caught up and were watching her.
“Haa… haa…”
Amidst her excruciating pain, the bloodied Seo Yeon-joo stared at them. At fragments of her own past.
A single thought came to her mind.
‘I used to be so fresh and beautiful…’
Now, she finally understood.
Her past self wasn’t as ugly as she had thought at the time. It wasn’t something that deserved to be hated. Instead, it should have been loved.
That’s why she regretted it now.
Why hadn’t she been confident back then? Why had she always berated herself for being ugly, slept poorly crying, and lived only to please others?
Why had she lived every moment as if she were running from someone?
–Seo Yeon-joo, what is your life?
The shadow’s question prompted all her past selves to speak in unison.
“To stop my parents’ fights.”
“To desperately avoid being bullied.”
“To suffer as punishment because I couldn’t end my own life.”
“To maintain myself in ways others would approve.”
“To perform and receive affection.”
Seo Yeon-joo’s chest tightened as she listened.
“…”
It felt like a boulder had fallen on her chest.
‘So pitiful. Too pitiful.’
Her past was devoid of love. Her heart was empty. She had merely observed life, witnessed it, but never truly lived as herself.
‘What if…’
If she had been born into a happy family, if she had been wealthy, if she hadn’t been bullied, if she had been beautiful as a child, if she hadn’t contemplated suicide, if she hadn’t suffered from depression—
“…”
Seo Yeon-joo smiled faintly.
Because there were too many “ifs.” She realized now. None of these assumptions held any meaning.
After all, the past couldn’t be changed.
Perhaps her fate had been decided from the very moment her parents destroyed their belongings while arguing in front of her, sealing her path to live this way.
–Seo Yeon-joo, what is your life?
“Alright. I don’t care anymore.”
She couldn’t bear her own insignificance.
She was far too mediocre to be a tragic heroine, too incapable to be the hero. She was just… ambiguous.
Somewhat talented, somewhat unfortunate, unable to do anything important at crucial moments — a pitiful human who wasted her bright youth.
‘Looking at it now, my younger self was lovely enough. If I had thought about it then, if I hadn’t filled my life with other people and truly focused on myself…’
…Then perhaps things would have been different by now.
But.
At that moment—
–Seo Yeon-joo, what is your life?
When the question was repeated,
Or rather, exactly when she saw her own reflection in the pool of blood on the ground, a thought suddenly crossed her mind.
“…”
The red pool reflected her own face. Naturally, since her eyes were perfectly fine, she could see herself clearly.
There stood 25-year-old Seo Yeon-joo.
This was the current Seo Yeon-joo.
“…”
Seo Yeon-joo raised her head to look at her past selves once, then lowered it again to look at the reflection of herself in the puddle. She repeated this slowly about three times.
Why hadn’t she realized?
The current her wasn’t too bad either.
No, perhaps she was even excellent. The result of relentless daily self-discipline could only be this way.
So, perhaps.
It wasn’t too late.
When she becomes 30 or 40 and looks back on this moment, she might consider it a radiant period. Instead of despairing, why not start moving forward now?
“…”
Seo Yeon-joo swallowed hard and rose.
If it wasn’t too late, she should challenge herself immediately.
Once more, she charged into the thorny bushes.
Whoosh!
“Ugh!”
But, as expected, it was difficult.
Trying to move forward despite grinding her teeth was hard. Moreover, the thorny bushes seemed alive, writhing as if harassing her. They seemed to mock her, as if saying, “You’ve lived life like this forever, and now what silly feat are you attempting?”
Infuriatingly, she had no choice. Her body trembled at the very sight of the thorny bushes now, making it impossible to take a step forward.
“…”
But Seon-ju collected her breathing.
Because she had decided to move forward.
‘If it’s too frightening, then why not just close my eyes?’
Thinking about it, that made sense.
‘I’ve always lived by pondering over things that frightened me.’
Afraid her parents might divorce, afraid of being bullied, afraid someone might hate her, afraid to even face the next day… That was always her.
Ah, now she understood what the thorny bushes represented.
Yes, they symbolized Seon-ju’s future.
That vague, ever-worrying future which gnawed at her heart every time she wondered about it!
So.
If she wanted to change moving forward, her task was clear.
‘I need to reform this blasted attitude first. Filling my heart with fears only makes it hollow. Just look at my past. Let’s fill it with something else.’
Yes, it’s like being reborn.
With this realization, Seon-ju leaned against the thorny bushes.
Now, the hideous thorny bushes were no longer in her sight. All she could see were her adorable childhood selves.
And that was Seon-ju’s resolution.
From now on, she would not tremble in fear about an obscure future while moving forward. She would focus only on the present.
Puuuuh!
A step back caused the thorns to tear through her back. Yet, oddly, Seon-ju wore a faint smile.
Perhaps she had been hearing her inner voice all along, just without the courage to face it. She had postponed repeatedly, only thinking of her fears.
It was time to confront it now.
–Seon-ju, what is your life?
“Alright. I’ll tell you.”
Seon-ju stepped back again and spoke.
“I’m certain of it now.”
Puuuuuuh!
A big step back caused the thorn-like blades to wildly tear at her body. It was a terrifying scene. Yet, despite spitting out blood, Seon-ju didn’t stop for a moment.
I’ll endure. I can endure.
Though excruciatingly painful, it wasn’t as bad as before because she wasn’t trying to forcibly anticipate an unclear future. Now, her eyes only saw her past selves.
Actually, her current appearance might be grotesque.
Struggling through the thorny bushes, screaming, trembling—it was far from the image she had dreamed of. It wasn’t sophisticated or pure.
Far less appealing to others.
But why was that important?
Ultimately, wouldn’t it be a scene she would fondly reminisce about when she looks back? Yes, that’s what mattered!
There was no doubt her future self would view this time as brilliantly commendable! It was an effort solely focused on herself, excluding all other fears!
So!
Focus on the present!
Future can’t be known immediately! Fiercely struggle right here, right now! Reflect on the distant beauty of the past from now on! That’s enough, isn’t it?
With one more step.
And then another step, pushing the future and fear to the back.
“Life.”
Then another step.
“My life, my existence…”
Yet another step. Nothing to fear.
“…is walking backward on a flower path.”
Something incredible happened.
Whooshh!
The pools of blood Seon-ju had spilled on the ground began to sprout into flowers. Her past selves were marveling.
With each step she took, the blade-like thorns shredded her, but Seon-ju didn’t stop. Instead, she was convinced this was the right method.
Puuuuuh!
Shred me more, more!
Leave no form of me!
Because that self, who needlessly worried about an obscure future, the self who crammed her heart with others, wasn’t necessary to the future anymore!
So Seon-ju willingly squeezed herself deeper into the thorny bushes without stopping her retreat.
Strangely, the more she did this, the more the landscape brightened. Flowers bloomed densely everywhere from her bloodlike struggle.
“Go, go, don’t be afraid, Yeon-joo.”
And how much time passed?
When Seon-ju became something unrecognizably human, she realized she no longer felt the thorny bushes against her back. She had finally broken through.
A smile came naturally.
But it wasn’t because the pain was gone.
‘…It’s beautiful.’
It was because the path she had walked had turned into a splendid flower path filled with joyful laughter of her younger selves. It was heartwarming.
–You’ve arrived.
A single line from the shadow.
Yes, this flower path was the sight of her destination, and simultaneously the enlightenment Seon-ju gained.
Life is walking backward on a flower path.
The future is unpredictable and therefore unsettling, but trembling while moving forward is a foolish choice. Just focus on the moment and give your honest best. You’ll surely realize later that it was a beautiful, flower-like moment when you look back.
–Seon-ju.
This time, the shadow asked differently.
–What do you want to do?
“…”
Seon-ju could not answer.
Because her entire body was torn apart by the thorny bushes. Practically no skin remained, and bones could be seen in various places. She was more like a lump of blood-covered muscles.
That’s when the young Seon-joo’s gathered flowers and made a crown, placing it on her head.
As if to say “you’ve worked hard” and “thank you.”
And as if to say “please take care in the future.”
Simultaneously, something miraculous happened. Her battered body returned to how it originally was, but she was now smiling, more beautiful than ever.
“Yes.”
With a bright smile, Seon-ju spoke.
“Now, I can clearly understand my life. I can hear my heart without fear.”
What my inner voice, my honesty, my wish means…
Even though I come from a divorced family, grew up without much love, got bullied in school, trusted no one, was stupid and pitiful…
Even so…
“…I have always wanted to love myself.”
She wanted to love.
Seon-ju carefully embraced her younger selves with tears streaming down her cheeks.
◈◈◈◈◈
‘Lies, lies, lies.’ Filming location.
The crowd in front of the desks and monitors used for monitoring was not a joke. Directors, staff members, and personnel watched breathlessly.
Their mouths were incessantly murmuring.
“Sua didn’t get an NG this time!”
Everyone had their own expectations, but still, worry outweighed them given Sua’s numerous past NG’s.
“Will we finally see Yeon-joo’s acting this time?”
“Right. What kind of acting will she show?”
“We have our own guesses, don’t we?”
“Yeah, like, crying… losing her mind in despair… throwing a tantrum… or ultimately following Soo-hee and committing suicide…”
A lot of the possible outcomes they could naturally predict were listed.
The staff and personnel had long read the scripts, and many had their own forecasts about how things would unfold.
Director Park Mu-ryong spoke up.
“Quiet. We’ll know by watching directly.”
Then everyone fixated their gaze on the monitor and…
“Uh?”
Everyone blurted out their confusion simultaneously.
◈◈◈◈◈
Sssss!
Yeon-joo suddenly came to her senses.
“…Ah?”
The sensation of standing on sand, the weight and warm presence of Sua on her back, told her she’d returned to reality.
Despite going through so much in that experience, it seemed not even a second had passed in reality. However, the stream of tears still flowing down her cheeks proved that it was no mere dream. Completely different feeling from before.
At that moment, figures dressed in black suits appeared on the sandy beach. The Ji-il faction in pursuit had arrived.
<‘So thorough. Did you find this burial spot ahead of time?’>
The actor in charge of the Ji-il faction smirked.
Yeon-joo thought. What was Park Si-yeon’s honesty?
Was groveling pitifully for her life the right answer? Or should she mourn Soo-hee’s death and cry her eyes out?
Any of these options would have some merit. They couldn’t be outright rejected. But—
—
Yeon-joo instead smiled.
Because the best choice was clear now.
Park Si-yeon was very much like herself.
She only cared about others’ opinions and always hid herself. Somewhere along the way, she forgot what her honest self even was.
So.
—Don’t live like a dog, live like a human.
It was time to heed Lim Soo-hee’s words and grasp that, just like Seo Yeon-joo who confronted herself through Sua’s words.
<Soo-hee, can you just lie there for a moment?>
Yeon-joo gently laid Lim Soo-hee down on the sandy beach and searched inside her suit, drawing out a knife.
The members of the Ji-il faction couldn’t contain their laughter.
<You thinking of committing suicide? A little too hasty. We'd happily do it for you if you just stayed put. You probably can’t even handle wielding that right, or you'll just suffer more pain!>
<No.>
Yeon-joo shook her head.
<Kill them.>
She said with a smile while tears streamed down her face.
<You'll all die by my hand today.>
<...Are you joking? Someone whose hands are shaking so much right now.>
<Maybe.>
Surprisingly, Yeon-joo easily admitted it.
<But.>
Her face exuded a sense of relief.
<That’s not important right now.>
She was honest now.
She wasn’t overthinking or trying to please others. She was simply showcasing her raw desire for vengeance for Soo-hee.
In this moment, both Park Si-yeon and Seo Yeon-joo simultaneously realized why people cherish honesty.
Now she knew: honesty truly has value. It enriches your own life. It lets you feel like the true owner of it.
So Yeon-joo held the knife. Not to kill others, but simply to be honest with herself.
For her, the person Lim Soo-hee longed for.
<Soo-hee, am I a little more human-like now?>
Yeon-joo’s smile shone brightly.
