Chapter 170

“Hmm… I’m not quite sure what I should say, but… Wasn’t it because Mirnel, the elf, and Evan were sticking together so closely today?”

“[…I’m not sure.]”

After a brief silence, Aria responded, and Stella chuckled.

She had always been a girl who didn’t lie, but now it seemed even she was just like any other girl. Stella thought to herself, “Even she’s no different when it comes to being a girl, after all…”

Though she herself had never been in love, she’d read various books that suggested women undergo significant changes when they fall in love.

While she wasn’t sure if it was true, given the way Aria behaved today, she felt she could glimpse how much love could transform someone—sometimes for the better.

And as a friend, Stella couldn’t be happier to see this positive change.

“[…Stella.]”

“Hmm?”

“[I have a question… Is it alright if I ask you something?]”

“What is it?”

What was this about?

Aria usually asked questions, but it was the first time she was bringing up something so serious.

Stella’s heart started pounding, curious and excited.

“[Uh… well…]”

“You can say it whenever you’re ready. I’ll answer you to the best of my ability.”

“[…]”

Perhaps reassured by my words, Aria, who had been silent for a while, nodded her head but soon returned to deep thought.

Was she trying to organize her feelings into words inside her head?

This continued for about 10 minutes.

Then, when it seemed like she had gathered her thoughts, Aria began to speak again—still talking from under the covers.

“[Let me give you an example…]”

“That might be better. It’ll be easier for me to understand if you use hypothetical scenarios instead of directly talking about your feelings.”

“[If, all of a sudden, you became a man…]”

“Huh?”

Though puzzled by the sudden “what if you were a man” scenario, Stella decided not to ask further and let Aria continue, understanding it might be easier for Aria to convey her emotions through examples.

“[Though you would still think of yourself as a woman, right?]”

“Ah… Yes, that’s true.”

Stella hadn’t particularly concerned herself with her gender much. Wizards rarely did. Some female knights might regret being women due to the physical differences between genders, but for wizards, magic is a science, and there’s no gap between men and women in wielding it. Those deeply passionate about magic often think it irrelevant whether they’re male or female.

“[And if, hypothetically, you were told to date a woman, could you do so with a calm heart?]”

“Ah…”

Now she understood.

It was only now that Stella fully grasped what Aria was trying to explain. Priests and nuns are, above all, expected to love everyone equally without bias toward any single individual. However, even within the priesthood, love and marriage are not frowned upon. In fact, for nuns, it’s often seen as a virtue to find love and marry. The only taboo is falling for someone who is already committed.

In other words, even as a saint, there’s nothing wrong with Aria having feelings for Evan—if he didn’t already love someone else.

But for Aria, things felt a little more complicated. She had lived her whole life as a cleric, healing and helping others without much thought to romantic notions. Her feelings for Evan had arisen unexpectedly, all while she was still deeply involved in other duties. She likely felt it inappropriate to feel this way toward Evan when so much was still unfinished.

Despite trying to control her feelings by telling herself that loving a man as a man—different from the love between two men—was absurd, today’s sight of the elf and Evan together had caused her emotions to break free.

While it wasn’t exactly the same as two men in love, Aria seemed to think it was close enough to use this example to convey her emotions. Everything she had said so far may not have been entirely factual, but it was her way of describing the closest emotions she could relate.

For Stella, this was still a bizarre comparison, and she felt a little disoriented.

“So… are you asking if I could date a woman if I became a man?”

“Yes… or if, even as a man, you would date another man?”

“Hmm…”

It was definitely a tough question. There was no way to answer it just by thinking for a few minutes. Stella had never experienced such a situation, so even trying to judge it properly felt absurd.

Still, explaining her thoughts clearly wouldn’t be too difficult.

“It might come down to whether you worry more about societal expectations or follow your own heart. Or maybe you care about both?”

“[What do you mean by that?]”

“Well, if you’re the type to care more about societal expectations, then if I became a man, I would probably date a woman because—”

Because this isn’t a country where same-sex relationships are easily accepted. Stella herself, as a woman, assumed she’d eventually fall in love with a man. But if she were suddenly turned into a man, whether she could fall for another man—well, she couldn’t say for sure. She’d have to experience it herself, and as long as she remained a woman, that would remain hypothetical.

“On the flip side, if you only cared about your heart, well… whether the other person is a man or a woman, and whether I am a man or a woman, I would probably just date whoever I love.”

The straightforwardness of that statement made Aria’s eyes widen before closing again, realizing it wasn’t what Stella truly believed.

“If you cared about both, you might prefer dating a woman, but if the person you love is a man, you might separate for his happiness.”

People think differently. Gender doesn’t change that.

If a heterosexual couple were split because one of them suddenly changed gender due to some event, it might be tragic.

But if, despite the change, one continued to love the other, it might be called beautiful love.

Unfortunately, reality isn’t so romantic. People often love the appearance as much as the heart. It might be hard to be accepted no matter how beautiful the person’s soul was if their appearance didn’t match expectations.

Still…

“I think I would date a woman.”

That’s what Stella thought.

“[But…]”

“What? It’s not like anyone else would care if I were dating a man when they don’t even know I used to be a woman. Even if they did, who cares if a guy and a girl date?”

“…”

“If I had been dating a man before and then I turned into a man, it would probably depend on how that man would perceive me.”

If a man suddenly found his girlfriend had turned into a man, would he still be able to continue the relationship?

Stella didn’t think so.

From that point on, the person loving the original version would likely be gone, so continuing the relationship would mean transitioning to loving someone as a man.

Perhaps this was the most rational decision from the perspective of a wizard.

“That’s right… if I suddenly became a man, wouldn’t it make sense…”

Stella turned her head to look at Aria.

“To just start dating Aria instead?”

“[N-no, stop joking, Stella…]”

“Hehe, not a joke. Anyway… you don’t need to overthink this so much. Just follow your heart. Why worry about the past? The present is what matters.”

“[…]”

After Stella’s words, Aria fell silent for a while before finally responding with a small voice, as if she’d come to a conclusion.

“[Thank you, Stella.]”

Had she finally sorted her thoughts?

Smiling gently, Stella nodded, wishing her friend the best.