Chapter 185

185th Episode

Get out of our yard!

185? Get out of our yard! #5

Paranoi seemed thoroughly frightened at the mention of drawing his own bl**d.

“…Goodbye.”

It was evident through his tattered robe and mask that he was in a state of panic. Eventually, he just struggled as Luna held him by the side.

“Hehe, you can’t go!”

Luna brought the terrified Paranoi over to the ritual circle and drew an obsidian dagger from her waist.

d*mn, she suddenly pulls out a kn*fe. I couldn’t help but get tense, wondering if she was planning to behead Paranoi and splash his bl**d everywhere.

“I’m sorry…! Luna, please spare me…! I don’t want to d*e yet…!!”

It appeared that Paranoi was just as frightened. He was terrified as if convinced that he was about to d*e.

Ignoring his fear, Luna pressed the dagger against his body and said, “Hold still. I’m just going to prick the tip of your finger. A drop of virgin nymph bl**d should do.”

What? Just the tip of the finger? I thought she was going to make him bleed profusely as a sacrifice.

“Giii…. Eek, the kn*fe, it’s scary….”

Yet, Paranoi was especially unnerved. But given that he was already a coward, I began to just accept it.

Finally, Luna pricked Paranoi’s thumb with the tip of the obsidian dagger, and bright red bl**d began to drip from the sharp point.

Seeing that, Paranoi started thrashing around even more like crazy.

“I’m dying! I’m definitely going to be cursed and it’s going to stab my heart…!”

I didn’t understand what he meant by the curse going into his finger, but thinking of something like tetanus or germs made some sense.

Although Luna was meticulous with her tools, there were certainly limitations in this world where disinfectants didn’t exist.

Or maybe it was just Paranoi babbling. Perhaps troubled by the nymph of ditch water squirming at her waist, Luna quietly said, “Paranoi, if you behave, I’ll let you sleep at home tonight!”

“I will behave…! I’m confident…!”

Upon hearing that, Paranoi surprisingly stopped squirming as if he had forgotten all about it. It seemed Luna was quite adept at handling him.

Like a groom with reins, I thought she might as well be a zookeeper.

Swish.

Now calmed down, Paranoi watched Luna as she performed her work.

As bl**d dripped from the dagger into the ritual circle, the floral-shaped design began to glow with a strange light.

“Now I see, it was Charon’s ritual… Ah, were these guests lost souls wandering in the living world?”

Could it be because he had experience as a cultist? Paranoi quickly recognized what Luna was doing.

I asked, “Do you know about voodoo?”

“In reality, this magic circle is closer to necromancy than voodoo… Originally, necromancy was developed to guide lost souls. Guiding souls has long been the duty of d*ath priests…”

Swish.

Paranoi turned his head as if he were looking at the seated dead on the ground.

“Indeed, it seems the souls know where they need to go and come here with their instincts… So, as the night deepens, even more souls will arrive here…”

“Really, more than now?”

“The festival will continue until morning, so as the night grows deeper, more souls with coins will come. The street performers, storytellers, and entertainers will be more numerous tonight.”

According to Paranoi’s explanation, the street performances that could be easily seen all around during the festival originated from scattering coins on the ground for spirits to collect.

Therefore, people throw coins to the ground without hesitation, and they say nobody really comments on those picking them up.

“And thus, the souls that have paid their fare are able to cross the river… They are unfortunate souls who couldn’t even have proper funerals…”

“I see.”

“Originally, it was the duty of d*ath priests to send these souls to the afterlife. Now, however, such work must be done secretly… I wonder how Pluto’s followers have fallen to this…”

Paranoi shook his head as if he couldn’t understand.

“Pluto is indeed one of the three gods. Why are they being oppressed like this?”

Is he asking me for the reason? Thinking back, Paranoi had mistaken me for Pluto’s son or something.

But even if I considered the reason, I wouldn’t know it. I was just an outsider, Hassan, who suddenly found himself in this world.

However, Paranoi’s words did seem somewhat plausible. Why had Pluto’s followers fallen to the likes of cultists?

From what I had read, they once seemed to have been an established religion in this land.

If what Paranoi said was true, then necromancy, too, was developed to send souls to the afterlife, so the original intent couldn’t be considered sorcery, could it?

I began to feel curious as to why the necromancers and Pluto’s followers had to become cultists.

If only I could find out that reason and how to resolve it, I could boldly act as a necromancer, Hassan.

Honestly, I thought that dealing with minions as a necromancer would allow me to level up much quicker than rolling on the dirt as a brute warrior.

d*mn it, it’s absolutely a puzzling power, yet using it leads to being hunted as a cultist.

Who knows the history behind the necromancers and Pluto’s followers?

The librarian, Erimanthos?

Or the old man scholar, Platan?

I should definitely seek one of them out later to ask.

While I was lost in thought, Luna, who had been intently staring at the magic circle, brightly said.

“It’s done! The magic circle is complete! I’ll send them off to the underworld now! Hassan, lift that big guy onto it!”

Swish.

As Luna pointed at a hooded ghost named Cliff, I lifted the body and placed it on the magic circle.

Then, with a swing like a golf club, Luna smashed its head, sending it flying.

Thud-!

The gruesome sound made me frown, as if the pain had hit me. But soon, I couldn’t help but open my eyes wide and marvel at the unbelievable sight.

Swish, swish-.

The bulk that had been puffed out under Cliff’s robe seemed to vanish as if it had just disappeared.

Consequently, his mask and robe just drooped on the ground like discarded clothing.

The contents inside had utterly vanished.

“It’s done! Success!”

Luna raised her club high and shouted joyfully.

“Next up for a head smash!”

*

As Paranoi had said, as the night deepened, even more unwelcome guests invaded Luna’s yard. Yet neither Luna nor I were that startled, probably since we had received prior warnings.

Of course, the existence of ghosts still felt somewhat wondrous.

Thinking of spirits or ghosts as mere monsters like goblins, skeletons, or arachnids suddenly made it a lot easier to understand.

“Here, line up neatly…!”

Paranoi was setting the souls in line.

“Come on, pay up with 2 copper each.”

I received the money, while Luna sent them off to the afterlife. Working together like this at least allowed us to process the incoming souls relatively quickly.

But d*mn, there were a ridiculously large number of them. We had already sent off dozens, probably around a hundred, yet the line seemingly stretched on endlessly.

At this rate, we’d be able to call it a famous eatery in the city, right?

“This ferry is doing a great job with the souls this year.”

“If it keeps up like this, we’ll really cross the river before dawn.”

“Bring more! Before the pursuers catch up!”

So perhaps word had spread, as it felt like all the souls in the city were flocking towards us.

I felt a sudden chill of fear.

I knew that somewhere in this city, the Shrine Knights were stationed. If they witnessed this scene, we wouldn’t have any excuse and would undoubtedly be branded as cultists.

However, the souls swarming towards us seemed indifferent, continuously tugging at our pant legs.

d*mn, those little devils.

Thinking about it made me angry.

They were only paying 2 copper.

If it were 2 silver or 2 gold, it would be a different story.

To think they were trying to mess with someone’s afterlife for just 2 copper made them truly vile fiends. Is there no way to send them all to the afterlife at once?

“Calming, voodoo-! Ugh, ugh-.”

Luna was already exhausted, swinging her club over thirty, maybe hundreds of times, and was slowing down.

Luna had less stamina than I did. I started worrying that if things continued like this, she might collapse from exhaustion.

Was there any way to speed things up?

While I was deep in thought, Paranoi, who was busy lining up the many souls, approached me with a subtle voice.

“Hassan, if we keep handling them like this, the line will become too long… If I might suggest, maybe you could finish this quickly?”

“What do I need to do?”

“I believe there is a high-level necromantic ritual that opens the gate to the underworld… How about we try it? Create a door at the entrance of the yard and let them pass through it…!”

Let them enter by themselves?

In that moment, I thought of the high-pass functions used at highway toll gates. d*mn, how convenient would that have been?

“How do I go about it?”

“I will draw the magic circle, and you just need to stand on it, Hassan. The energies tonight are very deep with the new moon. And you are a very sturdy pillar of hell. Simply standing there with your legs spread should be sufficient…”

“Ugh, I can’t do this anymore….”

Just then, Luna fell to the ground as if her arms had given out, panting heavily.

Behind us, dozens, hundreds of souls were clamoring to be sent to the afterlife.

Paranoi seemed truly confident, drawing something in the dirt with his fingertips. I wondered what he was planning.

Swish, swish.

The drawing turned out to simply depict two doors, reminiscent of the character for “door” (門).

“Alright, Hassan, just spread your legs and stand here by the doors…!”

“Really?”

With a mindset of having nothing to lose, I decided to go along with Paranoi’s idea. As I placed one leg on each side of the doors, it created a rather imposing pose.

“Is it really just standing like this?”

“Other necromancers may require intricate rituals, but for you, Hassan, that won’t be needed… Just standing there will suffice… Now, take a deep breath.”

Paranoi inhaled deeply behind his mask.

He then shouted towards the long line of souls.

“Everyone, this gentleman here is so extraordinary that his greatness cannot even be described in words! If you crawl under his legs, you will reach the afterlife!”

“Hey, what? Under my legs?”

I was utterly taken aback. d*mn, he was serious about that? I hadn’t expected it at all.

It seemed the souls felt the same way.

“You want us to crawl under your legs?”

“This ferry’s method this year is rather strange.”

“What now? Do we really have to crawl?”

“Though I may currently be a spirit, I was a proud knight in life. Crawling under your legs is unacceptable.”

The souls did not respond favorably. But I could understand why, as I would feel insulted if someone told me to crawl under their legs.

However, at that moment, Paranoi added a few more words quietly.

“Those who crawl under these legs will be granted entry to paradise, Elysium…!”

With that, the atmosphere changed.

“I’ll go first!”

“No, I will!”

“Wiggle, crawl, wiggle, crawl-!”

Suddenly, they began to clamour, crawling under my legs one after another as if possessed. It was an eerie sight seeing various ghosts scuttling towards me on all fours.

It was so terrifying and horrific that I wanted to scream.

“d*mn, this is super scary!”

In fact, I did scream.

But not running away or kicking them was already showing superhuman patience, and I felt quite proud of myself.

Swoosh-.

As they disappeared beneath my legs.

They seemed surprised by the sight of one another.

“It’s really happening. It must be the gate to the underworld!”

“Let’s hurry inside! Wow, this year’s procedure is super quick!”

Whoosh, whoosh-.

Just moments ago, each soul had disappeared at a rate of one every ten seconds, but now they were flying through as fast as three or four in the same time.

At this rate, it truly felt like we might be able to withstand the overwhelming tide of returning souls.

Yet, the chilly sensation of spirits slipping endlessly between my legs made me feel dizzy.

d*mn, what’s happening? Did the gate to the afterlife really open between my legs?

While I was dazed with confusion…

“Ah, ah!”

“Gah!”

High-pitched screams began to echo among the neatly lined-up crowds. I could clearly tell that something had gone wrong.

“Pursuers!”

“The pursuer has appeared again this year! Dammit, hurry! Cross the river quickly!”

Pursuers?

Was the entity that the souls feared finally showing itself? With such a swarming crowd, it was inevitable that we would be discovered.

“Hurry, hurry! If we don’t, we’ll be annihilated!”

In the midst of panicking souls.

“What are you all rambling about? You foul undead sc*m. Did you really think you wouldn’t be caught in such a crowd?”

Slashing sounds against flesh and screams echoed noisily from behind the line.

“Please, spare me.”

“Forgiveness…”

Trembling and lowering their heads, the souls just flattened themselves to the ground as if wishing for this massacre to end—a calamity akin to a natural disaster.

“Indeed, creatures like you should stay flat on the ground. You vile bastards.”

Trampling over their backs was a woman adorned with a majestic lion-mane mask.

Her tattooed body glimmered in the moonlight, an image I could never forget.

“My predictions rarely go awry. Those whom you’d least expect to be cultists are often the most vicious, after all. I had my suspicions that these loathsome souls were heading down the familiar path.”

Swish.

Antiope lifted her short spear high.

“Hassan of Samaria and Luna Noxdotty. You two—”

She pointed the tip of the spear at me.

“In the name of the omnipotent Jupiter, I hereby execute you for your crimes!”

[Author’s Note]

Hassan’s tail was too long…!