Without a clear goal, if a person wanders aimlessly or sets just one goal without any further plans, that person is bound to drift.
When one problem is solved, the next one can hit unexpectedly, catching you off guard, which is an age-old human mistake.
And that mistake has now come to me.
The original purpose of the outing, as stated by Professor Esther, to purchase supplies needed for the festival booth being prepared by the members of the magic theory research department, had already been completed.
There wasn’t much worth buying even if I forcibly wandered around the shopping district; everything was similar to what I had seen before, so there was no real need to walk through crowded places.
The problem arose here. After the purpose of the outing I had heard from Professor Esther was resolved, I hadn’t seriously considered what to do next.
I’m not particularly knowledgeable about magic, nor do I frequently go out.
Purchasing necessary items or groceries meant just a quick outing with Sofia Sub-priest to shop and then rush back to the dorm, and apart from that, I hadn’t explored for any hobbies or leisure activities except when going for walks.
So, as time passed, we left the bustling shopping district overflowing with people and strolled leisurely down a quiet street near the city square.
Where we stepped was not in the direction of the Academy. Nor was it away from the Academy.
We simply walked along a flat street that neither brought us closer to nor further from the Academy, doing so slowly enough to avoid tired legs or aching feet.
There were few passersby. Yet, it did not carry the chilly atmosphere of the sparsely populated outskirts of the city; from the row of large buildings lining either side of the street came the sounds of quiet conversations and, occasionally, lively chatter.
Somewhere, a delicious aroma wafted through the air. Having eaten lunch early, my nose, catching that scent, naturally urged my growling stomach.
I followed Professor Esther quietly by her side. The first time I met her, she had chatted away effortlessly by herself, but as time went on and we reached this point, she had become quieter.
Professor Esther didn’t speak.
Was it because she found the outing with me uninteresting? Or was she exhausted from trying to match my feelings?
I wasn’t sure. However, I could pinpoint one thing I knew; it didn’t seem like she disliked maintaining the silence as we walked.
Grabbing at the collar of my coat that fluttered gently in the cool autumn breeze, Professor Esther subtly hooked her arm through mine. I accepted it silently.
“It’s a bit chilly…”
“……”
Unable to take it anymore, I removed my black coat and draped it over Professor Esther’s shoulders. I was quite sensitive to the cold, so it was a good decision to have worn a coat over my priestly robes.
Normally, I would have come out wearing an official coat typical of Greca, but since the local archbishop was not overly strict, it was permissible.
When I hung the coat over her shoulders, Professor Esther, whose frame was relatively small, was almost buried in it. Though she was taller than Sofia Sub-priest, the difference in build was undeniable.
Professor Esther looked at me with surprise in her eyes, and since there was no particular pride to take in this, I simply stared ahead and mumbled.
“You’re dressed too lightly.”
“Ah… I’m fine…”
“No, really. I’m quite warm. I think you should wear it. That would make me feel at ease.”
“If that’s the case… I will gratefully accept it. Hehe…”
Surely, as the chill faded, the color of Professor Esther’s face brightened as she wore my coat.
The guilt of making her wander the streets with no plans at all felt a little lighter.
‘…This way of thinking isn’t good.’
Even if the cold had somewhat abated, it would still be wise to head somewhere. Whether it meant heading back to the Academy or… at least entering a nearby restaurant.
As I pondered these thoughts, Professor Esther, who hadn’t removed her arm from mine, carefully opened her mouth. I was somewhat grateful that she broke the long silence.
“Um, Professor, if you still have time… would you like to have dinner… before heading back?”
“Dinner, you say?”
“Yes. If it’s troublesome, that can’t be helped… I really don’t mind. So…”
Watching Professor Esther, who seemed desperate to convey her request while burying herself in the coat, I couldn’t help but smile softly and nod.
“Yes, I don’t mind. Is there anything in particular you would like to eat?”
“Ah…”
After staring at me blankly for a moment, she quickly nodded her head vigorously.
“Then! How about… deer dishes? Do you like them?”
“…Deer dishes, you say?”
“Yes! There’s a restaurant I used to frequent.”
Deer dishes…
They were something I had grown tired of eating in the past. There was a forest near the army base where deer used to abound before the dwarf scouting party crept in and drove them away.
So when it became a struggle for the supply officer and Meijhem, who had been troubled that mere canned combat rations wouldn’t satisfy the stomachs of the energetic twenty-somethings, a notice came down from the higher command that allowed hunting and cooking local animals as long as they could be procured nearby. Thus, everyone went wild with deer hunting.
I never participated in the deer hunts. The soldiers had told me, “You don’t need to get your hands dirty in such matters, priest,” and I didn’t particularly want to see blood just for personal gain.
Looking back now, it’s a funny thing. Aiming my rifle at dwarves and elves wasn’t for personal gain, yet was it justified killing?
But that’s how I was back then. I had to be.
If I hadn’t even done that much rationalizing, I might have lost my sanity long ago and wouldn’t still be here.
“Um… Professor Lucio?”
When Esther carefully spoke up, I was able to pull myself away from my wandering thoughts. She looked a bit anxious and opened her mouth once more.
“If you don’t like deer dishes, I can go somewhere else. If you’re tired, we can just head back to the dorm…”
“Professor Esther.”
“Yes?”
“Could I request your guidance? I also like deer dishes.”
“Oh, is that so?”
Professor Esther’s expression brightened noticeably. I nodded and entrusted myself to her guidance as she slowly turned away while still hooked on my arm.
“Yes. I used to eat them often too.”
“Thank goodness… I was worried about what to do if you didn’t like them…”
“Not at all. To be honest, I’m actually a bit excited.”
“It might be a bit of a leap, but I think you’ll enjoy it. That restaurant is so good that even when I was a broke academy student, I saved up my pocket money to go there.”
Looking back, I really ate a lot. Since it was a wild animal, I worried about parasites, so while I wouldn’t cook beef thoroughly, I preferred to grill deer meat completely. Yet being able to enjoy freshly cooked meat right on the battlefield was one of the few luxuries I could relish.
‘…That cook was especially good at making deer dishes.’
So, yes.
“I’m looking forward to it. Really.”
The first deer dish I would have since the war ended.
Indeed, it was something to eagerly anticipate.
*
How long had passed as I walked side by side with the gleeful Esther, unable to bring myself to push her away?
Lost in the chilly autumn air, we stepped into a cozy little restaurant with warm light streaming out.
– Ding ding—
“Welcome!”
An apron-clad employee hurried towards us. Esther tightened her grip around my arm unexpectedly, causing me to momentarily halt my words.
“We are two.”
“This way, please~.”
For some reason in high spirits, the waiter hummed a tune as he led us slowly into the restaurant.
This place, with its good aroma, was difficult to call a restaurant, yet it certainly wasn’t the kind of roadside eatery you would encounter anywhere either.
It seemed considerable effort had gone into the interior design, enveloping the place in an old-fashioned yet pastoral log cabin ambiance.
After we were seated, the waiter took down Esther’s order and walked away. Professor Esther, placing her coat on the chair, asked with a beaming smile.
“How do you like it? Isn’t it nice?”
“Yes, I like it.”
Just sitting here seemed to quiet my heart. I wondered if there was a particular reason they insisted on this kind of decor?
When I casually brought up that question, Professor Esther tilted her head slightly as she replied.
“Well, let’s see…? Was it around three years ago? They abruptly announced a renovation, causing the place to close for a while. It changed since then.”
“…Is that so?”
“Yes. It used to be a bit more upscale, but now it feels much more comfortable. Like entering a warm cabin, perhaps?”
Nodding at Professor Esther, I carefully looked around.
It was notable how transparent the space was, allowing me to see the entire restaurant. Thus, I could catch sight of a man with his back to us diligently cooking in front of the rising flames. Perhaps he was the chef?
Professor Esther and I conversed while watching that scene. A dialogue that would rarely take place on the streets flowed smoothly and comfortably since we had entered this place.
It was intriguing. Was it perhaps the comforting atmosphere that this restaurant provided?
“Ah… So last time, the top professor asked for it to be done quickly.”
“You must have gone through a lot of stress.”
“Yes, especially with so much work piling up and dealing with odd jobs… Well, it’s an important task if you think about it…”
Since we both held teaching positions at the Academy, our conversation naturally shifted to topics regarding it. How nice it would have been if we had talked about this sooner.
‘One lesson learned.’
Even before the food arrived, my fondness for this restaurant had noticeably increased. We chatted as we watched the chef perform what felt like a fire show while cooking.
“Oh, it seems our food is about to come out.”
As Professor Esther said with a notably bright expression, the chef, who had been grilling the meat for a few minutes, brought a plate of food to the waiter.
“…Ah.”
And then, I locked eyes with that chef.
With those gentle, endearing eyes, slightly protruding cheekbones, and a uniquely long mustache.
“…Jansen?”
He closely resembled the man I remembered as ‘the cook who made deer meat delicious’. I found myself mumbling his name unintentionally.
However.
“……”
Although he made eye contact with me, he quickly turned away and headed back towards the kitchen, as if he didn’t recognize who I was.
“Enjoy your meal~.”
After the waiter set down the food and left, I couldn’t bring myself to look down at the plate. My gaze seemed stuck on the back of the chef, who was busily cooking away.
‘…It’s a misunderstanding.’
Yes, that must be it. There’s no way that man could be Corporal Jansen.
Corporal Jansen had died in my arms, having suffered grievous wounds, eyes wide open.
Now that I think about it, I remembered he had a twin brother. I recalled this as I gazed at the back of the chef.
Was that chef, who looked so remarkably alike, perhaps Jansen’s brother?
– “Priest! Our parents run a restaurant that specializes only in deer dishes. Once the war is over, I’ll definitely treat you to a meal.”
“……”
Why do memories resurface so painfully late?
I turned from the kitchen and caught sight of Professor Esther, smiling brightly as she cut the pieces of deer meat on her plate.
‘…Now, it’s over.’
Following Professor Esther, I tried a piece of deer meat. The sauce felt familiar, but tasted even fresher and more refined than I remembered.
…Yes. The taste I knew, but even tastier.
“Um~. Professor Antorelli, how does it taste for you?”
“……”
“Professor?”
As I chewed the deer meat, I thought about what I was doing here, right now.
Normally, I would have been holed up alone in the dorm, reading theological texts, cleaning the chapel, fumbling with tasks in the professor’s office, or lying listlessly on the bed staring at the ceiling when I felt down, watching the sun set.
Naturally, the weekends in such a life trickled by like something viscous, slow to pass despite the inevitable flow.
But today, spending time with Professor Esther was completely different from any weekend I had experienced before.
So, what I wanted to say was….
“…Yes. It’s delicious.”
“Oh my…. Is it that good that you might cry?”
“I’m not crying.”
Chasing after the past was something I should finally stop.
For now, let’s concentrate on this moment.
“It’s really delicious.”
At least for now.
