Change comes in an instant. Regardless of our thoughts or intentions.
For example, one might suddenly become disabled due to an accident, or a parent’s business could collapse overnight, leading to financial turmoil at home, or one might get unexpectedly fired from their job.
Unforeseen misfortunes take everything away from us.
Of course, gradual changes also exist. Most of those are positive and meaningful changes.
When a person who has lived wickedly decides to change their ways and start giving back to those around them, when a long-term slacker watches a motivational video and resolves to live diligently, or when someone who used to loathe physical labor grits their teeth and starts exercising every day—these are instances where transformation occurs slowly and progressively.
Nothing can change all at once as we wish.
However, when viewed broadly, even this can be considered a moment of change.
Positive change usually springs from a firm resolution within a person. The act of making up one’s mind doesn’t take much time. It’s simply difficult to commit.
I too faced a significant change, though it was unclear whether it was positive or negative.
“Hey, look over there.”
“That’s really pretty…”
“Oh…”
I feel the gaze upon me.
Typically, it starts from the face, traveling down to the neck, shoulders, chest, thighs, and calves.
It feels like being surveyed top to bottom like a beautiful craft or merchandise.
It feels uncomfortable.
I shivered with a vague sense of unease.
Perhaps Ji-eun is more sensitive than she appears.
Or maybe she’s been receiving these kinds of glares for a long time.
Otherwise, she wouldn’t naturally feel where people’s gazes are directed toward her body.
Boisterous male students chatting with friends on the street, a man who can’t take his eyes off me despite being with his girlfriend, a girl quietly whispering to her friend as if trying to keep me from hearing.
I can see more eyes glancing over as well.
I had never received so many gazes before, and it turned out that people’s looks were more cold and lifeless than I had anticipated.
It’s the first time experiencing this kind of situation, and every hair on my body stands on end.
My chest feels a bit tight.
I feel dizzy, and my breathing is irregular, making it hard to catch my breath.
I don’t know why, but I must calm myself.
I sat on a bench for a moment to catch my breath.
Was my condition not good?
I was fine before coming out, though.
I should have noticed my pale face; this body is weaker than I thought.
Could I be a sickly cute girl?
This thought didn’t seem incorrect, as even this frail appearance seems alluring to others.
Even sitting on the bench, the gazes didn’t leave me.
I expected it, but Ji-eun’s appearance was far more devastating than I had imagined.
I suddenly thought that being a celebrity wasn’t something just anyone could do. While there might be people who enjoy this type of attention, I certainly did not belong in that category.
Even now, I feel this overwhelming pressure.
I hastily quickened my pace, trying to distance myself from the gaze.
I led my starving body toward the restaurant area. Checking my phone, I realized it was already 3 PM.
An ambiguous time.
Since it was that hour, there weren’t many people around.
Thinking that I wouldn’t have to face any burdensome gazes made me feel a bit more at ease.
What should I eat? This dilemma is something I encounter at every meal time, though there are usually a few fixed options available.
I initially thought of soup, as nothing can soothe an empty stomach like a warm bowl of soup.
Even just imagining it makes me feel filled.
Judging by Ji-eun’s state, it seemed she hadn’t had a proper breakfast, either.
But for some reason, even while looking at the map app, I couldn’t bring myself to open the door of the soup restaurant.
The smell of soup wafting outside didn’t whet my appetite. Instead, it felt somewhat unpleasant, like a strong meat odor.
Normally, I would have drooled at the thought of a good bowl of soup.
Standing outside the soup restaurant, I soon realized a fact.
When the body changes, so does the appetite.
Ji-eun’s tongue and stomach were expressing their disinterest in soup.
I wondered if mental preferences are less significant than physical ones.
It isn’t common to experience changes in the body, so it makes sense I wouldn’t know about it.
With the first destination unexpectedly failing, I had no choice but to be cautious.
What could satisfy a woman’s palate?
After some contemplation, Ji-eun’s body provided me with a simple answer.
“How spicy do you want it?”
To the staff member who glanced at me repeatedly, I simply responded to keep it mild.
It was a mala tang restaurant. Though the name sounded unfamiliar, Ji-eun’s feet naturally led her here.
Should I say it’s now my feet? It felt quite strange to have my steps directed so effortlessly.
However, separate from that,
I had never tried mala tang.
That’s only natural.
I don’t know whether I have too narrow-minded an outlook, but how often would a robust man eat mala tang?
Usually, when guys meet up, they say, “Let’s go have some soup!” No one says, “Let’s have mala tang!”
The phrase “Let’s have mala tang” sounds funny, but nonetheless,
I had read on social media that it’s one of the top three favorite foods among women yet mala tang remained unfamiliar to me.
The scent wafting from inside the restaurant was the first sign of that.
A peculiar smell that tickled my nose with its unique spices.
I wondered if I had come for no reason, but I was secretly curious about its taste.
I awaited my food with a sense of intrigue and curiosity.
After the wait, the taste of mala tang was—
“Hmm…”
Well, it was a taste that was hard to describe, something nuanced.
I had no idea what ingredients were inside as it was my first time experiencing this texture.
However, aside from the confusion, my hands were moving on their own, scooping up mala tang without me realizing.
Ji-eun’s body was quite honest.
Days passed since then.
Through several outings, I started to become somewhat numb to the gazes of others.
My body still trembled every time I went out.
There’s no one who can remain calm when all eyes are on them.
Maybe I could get used to it over time.
I resolved to become accustomed to it as quickly as possible.
Ultimately, adapting to this body would be beneficial for me.
There weren’t any other notable gains. I simply learned the locations of convenience stores and restaurants in the neighborhood. There were no clear clues about Ji-eun.
The only clue I found was not outside, but inside the house.
It seemed Ji-eun had majored in design. To be precise, she might be called an illustrator. I didn’t know the exact title, but it appeared she worked in drawing.
Her working style seemed to be more like a freelancer, taking on tasks as they came. If she had been attached to a company, they would have contacted her by phone, considering she hadn’t worked for several days.
I was speculating her past by looking at a few of her works on the computer and her bank transaction history.
Ah, the computer. I was rummaging through the computer that occupied the center of Ji-eun’s room.
If you want to know about someone, you should look through their phone and computer.
I don’t remember who said that, but it was a memorable statement that left an impression.
It turned out to be true.
Round yet delicate baby-like drawings greeted me.
It was a unique style; is this the trend nowadays?
No, that’s not it.
While admiring individual paintings, I regained my focus and immersed myself in the search.
What began as a search for clues about Ji-eun shifted slightly in purpose.
I skimmed through Photoshop and 3D rendering programs, moving the mouse here and there.
What’s important right now isn’t this.
The wandering mouse cursor drifted toward a corner of the desktop.
[Xteam]
The worldwide game client Steam was sitting in one corner of the screen.
It seemed Ji-eun had played quite a few games. Among the drawings she had done, there were game characters, so it could be that she had played them for her research.
Regardless, that wasn’t what mattered.
What mattered now was that I wanted to play a game.
It might seem abrupt to ask, “What game?” but I was craving it.
Laziness… I guess one could say that. I’m not going to deny it.
However, rest is essential for humans.
Just as machines that run nonstop break down, humans without rest inevitably fall apart.
Here I was, transformed into a complete stranger, someone of a different gender.
My body, which had been tense in this unfamiliar environment, was screaming for rest.
Playing a game could be a good choice for rest.
Hmm… Shall I play just one round?
One round should be fine.
