Chapter 2

#2 <Three Lives>

I couldn’t remember anything except the loud noise at the moment of the accident.

Is this how it feels to crouch in complete darkness for decades? My eyes were completely covered, and my body couldn’t move. Like a shrimp trapped in an invisible net, like a fetus in the womb. Jin Hyuk just burrowed into himself like that.

There were days when I crouched in the attic, consumed by darkness, thinking of the family I couldn’t meet. The ten years of my childhood when I castrated my own emotions. It felt like I had slept through a long time, far beyond that period.

The memory of the accident, the loud noise hitting my eardrums, and the sensation of running like crazy every day. In the face of time’s sharp teeth, everything just weathers away helplessly.

Just as I was about to forget who I was, Jin Hyuk finally regained his senses.

The warm sunlight scratched my cheek, and the cool wind made my neck shrink.

Finally.

I thought I was coming to my senses.

*

As my senses returned, so did some of my memories.

Rustle rustle – lick lick.

What is this sound?

Something rough and damp soothing the heat on my sun-warmed cheek.

‘Could it be that Director Hong is licking me, a vegetable?’

I knew he liked me, but to this extent…

I didn’t know a human tongue could be this rough. Did it grow barbs?

Pant pant pant.

What is this sound now?

They say a widower understands a widow’s heart, but this seems like too much excitement.

With great effort, I moved my heavy eyelids and opened my eyes.

Slowly, light came in, filling my vision with a blurry haze.

Gradually, my focus sharpened, and the first thing I saw was…

‘What is this…’

A shiny, curved object emitting a fishy smell.

And two holes piercing through that object.

‘This is…’

A dog’s nostrils.

And.

The dog’s tongue that had licked me tirelessly, hoping I would wake up.

As my vision recovered, I could see the dog’s identity.

The yellow mutt from the photo I looked at every day, with its tongue sticking out.

“Jang Gun-i?”

Woof!

It sounded like a yes.

I couldn’t help but be surprised in many ways. When I saw Jang Gun-i, I thought I had died and met him again.

But.

‘Why is my body like this?’

My voice and body are too young.

I examined my hands and body. They were tiny. My fingers were short and chubby, and my limbs were, to exaggerate a bit, only slightly longer than a dog’s.

I hurriedly unfolded the newspaper neatly folded on one side of the bed.

「Election age 20, candidates in order of parliamentary seats, 8-person meeting agreement」

Why are they writing such obvious things…

「Presidential election regional sentiment concerns… 66%. Joint poll by Hankook Gallup」

「US retaliatory strikes on Iran. Two Feyman offshore oil platforms hit」

「86-year settlement preliminary review. National Assembly opens 13 upper-level meetings」

86-year settlement?

Ah, I should have checked the date first.

「October 1987…」

A detached laugh escaped the child’s mouth.

“Heh heh heh.”

I really am dead.

Is Chairman Hong Ki-jun dead too?

I was too busy taking care of the old man to notice what kind of accident it was.

It’s absurd to think I could have figured out the situation in that short moment anyway.

“Still, it’s good to see you, Jang Gun-i.”

He was the friend who always stayed by my side when my parents passed away and I was lonely. Jang Gun-i lived with me until I was ten, when I was taken away by my mother’s stepsister. He bit the trouser legs of the people who were forcibly taking me away and was kicked hard by the man called my uncle. That was the last time I saw Jang Gun-i alive.

I hid in the attic for days and then escaped at night. Running through the dark night, guided by my sense of direction, I arrived at a house more than 10km away. There, under the dim moonlight, I found Jang Gun-i dead. I cried silently and buried him next to my parents’ grave.

“Did it hurt a lot back then, Jang Gun-i?”

Whimper whimper.

It seemed so.

I hugged Jang Gun-i tightly, sharing the joy of reunion.

How long did I hug the mutt and rub my face against his?

“…Hyuk-ah.”

Decades.

No, it felt like several times that.

“Jin Hyuk-ah.”

The voice I tried to recall while hugging my knees in the dark attic of a rural teahouse. Only one person ever called me so affectionately with such a beautiful voice.

With a loving smile, that voice found Jin Hyuk again.

“My baby-. If our Jin Hyuk stays in the autumn sun too long, he’ll turn into a raisin?”

Before I could even peek out the gate, tears filled my eyes. So, I couldn’t see the owner of the voice properly.

Before the hot tears could spill, my mom came over and hugged me warmly.

Mom. The affectionate voice and tone, the gentle hand stroking my cheek. It was a warmth I hadn’t felt in a long time. The smell of fire on her body, probably from cooking dinner, brought back happy memories of the past.

“Why are you crying, my son? Did you have a scary dream?”

My cheeks, held by my mom’s hands, turned upward. Determined to see her, I squeezed my eyes shut to shake off the tears. Finally, a clear white face came into view.

‘Who is this lady…’

She resembled the photos, but seeing her in person was so different. The faces of my parents, which I had seen in my thirties and forties, had blurred in my memory. So, it wasn’t unreasonable to feel unfamiliar.

But I could tell by the pull of my soul.

“Mom?”

Is it really you, Mom? Is it really our mom?

My mouth wouldn’t open. I disliked speaking unless it was necessary for work, so I kept my words inside. How could I still be like this even after death?

“Yes. It’s me, Mom. Oh my- my baby, why are you crying?”

Han Yu-young stroked her son’s head, comforting him until his sobs subsided.

All Jin Hyuk could do was rub his face against his mom’s chest, expressing his affection.

‘I’ve died and met Mom and Jang Gun-i again.’

Seeing how my body felt young and awkward, I was sure I was dead. But if this is what death is like, what is there to regret?

Finally, I met my mom.

Jin Hyuk looked around.

The hometown house from my childhood, the wide fields and paddies, the sparkling stream under the sunlight, and the distant sea. Even the colorful mountains.

I slowly nodded.

‘As expected, no one is here.’

But…

“What about Dad?”

Did he fall into hell alone?

He was a good person…

***

“Hahaha! My son! You’re nine years old and cried over a scary dream?”

At dinner, Dad laughed heartily. He said he had been picking beans in the field. Come to think of it, Dad used to work alone to avoid making Mom do hard work. Even in heaven, he has to work. Dad must be tired.

Dad, Son Kwang-yeon, was in his mid-thirties. Ten years younger than Jin Hyuk in the past.

Jin Hyuk really enjoyed the meal his mom made for the first time in decades. I didn’t know rice from a cauldron could be this delicious. Even though there was a gas stove, Mom insisted on cooking rice in a cauldron. She said it was healthier.

I didn’t know. I didn’t know the beans in the bean rice could be this savory, or that a table filled with soybean paste stew, kimchi, vegetables, and pickles could be this splendid. I hadn’t realized it before.

Watching Jin Hyuk shovel rice into his mouth, his parents smiled contentedly.

‘Mom, Dad. Dad, Mom.’

They’re young. My parents must have been happiest when they were with me. They must have been waiting for me here for a long time. Heaven is built on the happiest times of our lives.

But it’s strange. They didn’t ask how I’ve been or if I got married after meeting me after so long. Maybe they didn’t ask because they knew I lived unhappily and alone. Well, they wouldn’t want to dwell on their child’s unhappy life.

It’s probably better not to bring it up unless they ask.

As night deepened, I fell asleep with my mom’s arm as my pillow.

A smile hung on my mom’s lips as she gently stroked Jin Hyuk’s cheek. With sparkling eyes, I slowly closed mine.

‘My mom was really beautiful.’

This is truly heaven.

But couldn’t they have built a nicer house?

This shabby old house is too real.

There’s even a spider on the ceiling.

***

Are dreams the replay of memories, the reflection of the subconscious?

Or are they premonitions of the future? The dreams Jin Hyuk had were as dark as the future of a past life. In the darkness, murmurs could be heard, and some voices were quite clear.

Even when I tried hard to remember, the memories before the accident were blurry. It felt like my soul was shattered, my chest aching, and my eyes burning. As I flailed my arms trying to grasp the elusive memories, my mom woke me up.

“My baby-. Our Jin Hyuk, you have to eat breakfast and go to school.”

Fortunately, Mom was still by my side.

But school? Do I have to go to school even in heaven?

Isn’t this more like hell?

I ran about 3km with my short legs. The rectangular cartoon character backpack, covering half of Jin Hyuk’s back, swung side to side. Isn’t it amazing? Even the backpack has been restored to that era.

I saw adults working in the fields and paddies. They must have passed away too. I ran through the narrow, bumpy paths, past the winding unpaved bus road, and arrived at school without stopping.

‘As expected, I’m the only one at school.’

I washed my hands and face at the water tap on the edge of the playground and caught my breath.

‘I ran so much, but I’m not tired at all!’

Heaven is truly heaven.

Then, I heard chirping sounds from the school gate.

It was the children coming to school.

‘Ah, my poor friends, so many of them…’

They must have been happy at this time too.

***

A day. After spending a full day, I admitted that I had returned to the past, not heaven. My tone, actions—everything about Jin Hyuk was different from the other kids. No matter how much I looked at the other children, none had the adult self like Jin Hyuk. They were just kids.

And seeing all my classmates here, it’s too much to say they all died. The people in the fields too. It’s a rural village where it’s hard to see people anyway. Plus, the autumn harvest is almost over, so there aren’t many people in the fields.

‘My memories are becoming clearer.’

The memories of my previous life, which had been distant, were coming back. However, adapting to this small body and childhood life was still a problem. In my previous life, Jin Hyuk had a growth spurt in high school. But now, at nine years old, I’m not just small, I’m tiny. And my memories of childhood in my past life aren’t clear either.

‘Though they’re memories I’d rather forget.’

My childhood was filled with longing for my parents and the sorrow of living as a burden. Fear of verbal and physical abuse. But the more you want to forget, the more vividly those memories are etched into your heart. So, it’s hard to say that they’re blurry just because I wanted to forget.

Decades. It’s more convincing that they’re blurry because of the physical distance.

‘I wish someone would tell me.’

By what harmony I returned. But no matter how much I looked around, no demons appeared, and no one’s voice was heard.

***

“Hey, Jang Gun-i. Isn’t this a bit too much?”

Heh heh heh.

In my confusion, I finished school and went to the yard’s flatbed. With no one to complain to, I was glad Jang Gun-i was there. In a child’s voice, Jin Hyuk rambled on.

“You know, I was about to marry the chairman’s daughter and take over the group. But then the accident happened.”

Since I was planning to retire, it wasn’t about attachment to marriage or power. Jin Hyuk was just curious about what happened next. After all, isn’t it human to want to know the ending of a story or a movie? Especially when it’s about your own life.

A sigh escaped me.

Jang Gun-i sighed deeply too.

“You know, web novels? They say that as soon as you go back in time, all your memories come rushing back. Ugh-, I can’t even remember yesterday, let alone have memories rushing back… Web novel writers are all liars.”

Jin Hyuk, who was particularly talkative with Jang Gun-i, kept rambling while Jang Gun-i tilted his head, staring at him.

“The point of return is usually around twenty or a younger age, but I’m nine…”

Jin Hyuk’s rambling stopped there.

‘Ah, right.’

I’ve returned to the time when my mom and dad were alive. What else matters?

My wish to live with my parents has come true.

But Jin Hyuk’s face suddenly stiffened.

‘How did they pass away?’

The dates I always remembered, the cause of death. It was all blacked out like with a black marker. Did I get amnesia from the accident?

“This is driving me crazy. Ah, I don’t even have cigarettes.”

Who can I complain to about this suffocating feeling?

I rummaged through my pockets, but of course, there were no cigarettes. Instead, something that would fit in a nine-year-old’s pocket came out.

Two acorns.

Sigh-, I was really just an ordinary mischievous kid back then. Jin Hyuk let out a frustrated sigh.

“Jang Gun-i, let’s become relatives.”

Clink.

One acorn fell into the dog bowl under the flatbed.

“I should give one to Mom.”

Jin Hyuk headed home to find his mom.

Behind him, Jang Gun-i barked like crazy.