Of course, all of this was merely Jinseong’s reasoning.
A deduction based on incredibly fragmentary details—almost akin to a creative work of fiction.
However, even if it were mere conjecture verging on delusion, when the insight of a shaman who surpasses worldly limits was mixed into it, it became something infinitely close to the truth. It was something akin to a premonition, an inexplicable and indescribable sixth sense that crept in and took shape.
Supporting Jinseong’s reasoning, William had dreams every single day.
He dreamt of walking around the dilapidated church with a girl. In another dream, the young William complained loudly while buying tasteless fish and chips, and the girl suggested feeding it to the birds.
He dreamt of a girl watching couples getting married in the church with a dazed expression, muttering how wonderful it was. Another dream revealed William, in a brusque tone, asserting he could arrange a much grander wedding ceremony if he so desired.
Dreams.
Memories.
William’s dreams were a beautified version of the past, memories of his childhood spent with the girl.
But at the end of these innocent memories, a nightmare invariably manifested.
The girl, once so adorable, now appeared as a corpse swollen with water, whispering sweet nothings to William. At this point, he would be overwhelmed with guilt and powerlessness, uttering curses. And thus, in their dream-world encounters, the boy and the girl’s meetings always ended in the worst possible way, repeating endlessly.
The same memories transformed into nightmares.
Regret.
William, stuck in a regret-filled past, was always tormented in his dreams, yet he could only repeat his words of ‘go away’ without ever apologizing to the girl.
Ironically, William, having avoided the apocalyptic future foreseen by full-fledged prophets and the obsessive fixation on fragments of time that other prophets experienced, was walking a similar path despite the life many prophets would envy.
William was trapped, bound by his own inadequacy with his half-baked prophetic abilities. He was haunted by the memories in his dreams and the girl he couldn’t save, repeatedly reliving his regrets.
Jinseong could not help but laugh upon recognizing this irony.
“Ra. So immature.”
Jinseong understood why William’s reckless personality developed the way it did. He now saw why William treated women as disposable and kept replacing them.
“Though he might want to break free, when he tries to, the iron chains hesitate him. In the end, like other prophets, he’s nothing more than a slave to time.”
He wanted to escape.
That’s why he sought out women different from the innocent and kind girl in his past, hoping to forget.
But he didn’t truly want to escape.
The puppy love he experienced before knowing the meaning of love must have deeply rooted itself in his subconscious. Coupled with a shocking event, it left an indelible scar that dominated his life. Consequently, while William longed to free himself from the girl’s presence, subconsciously, he projected her image onto every other woman, looking for similarities to her. He remembered her when encountering those traits, as well as when he didn’t.
It’s much like how attempting not to think of an elephant inevitably brings the image of one to mind.
The more William tried to forget and escape, the stronger the shackles grew, imprinting themselves deeper in his mind.
Thus, he could only indulge in the bodies of women.
If he engaged emotionally, her image would surely be projected upon them.
Whether consciously or unconsciously, recalling her presence would extinguish the flames of passion and leave him feeling uneasy.
“Moreover, that’s not the only reason.”
Humans have an instinct to fill what’s missing.
Although William’s preferences for women were largely shaped by the girl in his past, they weren’t solely dictated by this. William harbored considerable dissatisfaction towards people in general, particularly his parents; they cherished him as a treasure but did not treat him as other children were treated. They honored him, yes, but perhaps also neglected him in ways that left him feeling unfulfilled.
Maybe it was inevitable.
After all, even in modern society, it’s difficult for children not to develop grievances towards their parents.
But William had been a boy born into a noble family that emphasized etiquette and formalities. Moreover, he possessed a prophetic ability that required special handling like a treasure.
Naturally, his treatment was different from other children.
“Children are far more sensitive than people realize. Surely he would have realized how he was treated.”
The care he received was akin to treating a treasure, not a child or a family member.
A treasure is, after all, just an object, however precious.
Of course, William’s parents likely didn’t realize this. Regardless of his exceptional talents, wasn’t he still their own flesh and blood, born of their union?
However, once a person is commodified and treated as a means to an end, they become just another item.
A very valuable item, belonging to the family.
Hence, William’s preferences likely revealed a subconscious attempt to heal the emotional voids from his childhood. To compensate for maternal affection he lacked, he sought out women with curvaceous figures. Furthermore, to address the perceived neglect by his parents, he may have been drawn to mature faces that symbolized love and acceptance.
Additionally, maturing beauty was the exact opposite of the “girl” whose presence haunted him, making it the perfect escape.
Thus, Jinseong understood why William was fixated on Agnes.
When seeing young children, William likely projected his younger self and the girl onto them, incapable of treating them with anything but kindness.
“Agnes has a good figure, a mature appearance, and a compassionate character. She’s also older in actual age, though her visible looks are about mid-20s. As a witch, she likely doesn’t age.”
Agnes fulfilled all the criteria of William’s ideal partner. She had the mature appearance he sought to escape the girl’s image while allowing him to project the girl onto her. Moreover, Agnes could fulfill his sexual desires, stemming from the maternal void, and being older added to her appeal without detracting from her youthful looks. No wonder William was captivated.
“Ra. So that’s why he clings to Agnes.”
Jinseong understood why William clung to Agnes, indulged in reckless behavior, caused trouble, but remained kind to the young. He was likely projecting his younger self and the girl onto them, unable to be cruel.
“Perhaps we can exploit this…”
Jinseong thought of numerous ways to approach William using his tendencies. Placing a woman with William’s ideal characteristics nearby and gradually opening his heart, placing him in a trance to treat his trauma, introducing children to naturally project his past onto them, and help him overcome certain events.
Or, using drugs to make him hallucinate about the girl, amplifying his emotions and binding him forever to her image; summoning similar spirits, corrupting them into evil spirits, and possessing someone to make him a puppet; or re-enacting the tragedy in William’s life to deepen his trauma.
Positive resolutions or plunging him into despair, Jinseong considered many methods, some requiring little effort for great results.
But despite the multitude of possibilities, Jinseong chose none.
“The one who ties the knot must be the one to untie it, and whoever starts must take responsibility to the end.”
William was already bound by a curse, likely from a shaman harboring resentment towards him.
The black magic cursing him distorted his fate and clouded his future with a thick fog, indicating a profound connection.
Such deep connections couldn’t be trivial. The knot was tightly bound, and the weight immense, enough to shatter rocks as it grounded him.
Thus, Jinseong respected the shaman whose intervention in William’s life required such high risk.
Though it would have been ideal for this affair to remain unrelated to Jinseong, unfortunately, there was a faint connection that extended to him as well.
The mature version of Anastasia appearing in William’s visions meant the curse was likely progressing through dreams. It also implied Anastasia might become involved and find herself opposing the shaman targeting William.
If only William had to face the consequences, it might have been different, but Anastasia could also be in peril.
Thus, Jinseong chose not to fully disengage but to step back slightly.
Just enough to intervene if necessary.
