# Episode 26: Make a Wish (2)
“Do I still not have the right to receive the Young Master’s affection?”
Not having the right…
No, it’s me who doesn’t have the right.
I know better than anyone that I, of all people, do not have the right to receive the princess’s affection.
After all, the original owner of this body, Rab, was the one who caused Cecilia so much pain in the previous storyline. And ‘I’ am an alien presence seeped into this world.
She, on the other hand, is destined to defeat the Evil God alongside the protagonist and live a happy life, saving the world.
In this fairy tale land full of dreams and hope—a land of peace and beauty—there is no room for a foreigner like me.
A person like me doesn’t deserve her affection.
So, you might ask, if I save the world, wouldn’t that fix things? Wouldn’t it be enough if I, chosen by the Goddess, personally made her happy?
…Let me be honest, let me reveal my true feelings.
I’m afraid.
To be honest, I’m terrified.
The fact that I died once, the fact that I now inhabit the body of the original antagonist Rab, the fact that I don’t know when or where the Evil God might target me, the fact that the fate of the world rests upon my choices—all of it fills me with fear.
I was a coward who has never held a gun, a sword—or even thrown a punch. And now they expect me to defeat the Evil God?
It’s absurd. The moment I face the Evil God, I might soil my pants and flee faster than anyone. That would already be a fortunate outcome for me.
The Goddess called for me to save the world’s future, but I am merely an extra, a bystander.
Do I genuinely wish for Cecilia’s happiness? Do I truly wish to save this world from destruction?
Bullshit. It’s all bullshit.
I just didn’t want to remain the villain.
And most of all, I didn’t want to die.
I was terrified of the unknowable moment of death, a pitiable human being who flails helplessly to escape from it.
The essence of a dull and foolish coward never changes.
I am ultimately a coward who lacks even the courage to change myself.
And yet, despite all this, someone gives their heart to me.
Know your place.
“…Yes, I am insufficient.”
I am.
“I am utterly insufficient.”
As a person.
“Therefore, I cannot accept her feelings.”
Because I am not the one who should be given her affection.
“Let me remind you. Know your place.”
Know your place, ‘I’.
“…”
My firm answer left Ria staring silently at me.
I anticipated her shedding tears in response to my harsh words, but perhaps her mental fortitude was stronger than I gave her credit for.
When I couldn’t bear to meet her deep gaze, which seemed to pierce my soul, I heard her voice.
“Young Master.”
Finally, the tone from her lips was neither surprised nor sad—it was simply calm.
A tone as peaceful as “The weather is nice today, isn’t it?” lingered near my ears.
“I used to be a coward.”
“…?”
“I was aware. I realized that my parents were not normal.”
But I ignored it.
No, I looked away.
Preferable to the immediate pain and suffering was the meager fence provided by my noble title as a princess.
I feared losing it more.
With the leash of reality around my neck, I had my claws and teeth neutralized.
I forgot how to rebel, living the life of a doll.
The foolish princess Cecilia lived as a puppet like that.
“Young Master changed my world.”
You cut the strings binding the puppet.
You taught the doll how to walk on its own.
You made me realize the warmth and kindness I had never known.
My handsome fiancé.
“…It’s nothing but selfish satisfaction.”
I’m not the kind-hearted person the princess believes I am.
Though I claim it’s for the princess’s happiness,
In truth, it’s the arrogance of a coward who simply doesn’t want to be the villain.
Now it has escalated to the arrogance of a coward tasked with saving the world from the Evil God.
An imposter clad in falsehoods and hypocrisy, deceiving even myself.
That’s who I am at my core.
You claim I saved you.
You claim that your time with me has been joyful.
But I am afraid.
Afraid of the uncertain future.
Afraid I might wake up one day and no longer be myself.
Having already tasted death, I fear being forever lost in the darkness.
This desperate creature who flails around out of fear is ugly.
Savior? Hero? Brave Knight?
Nonsense.
I’m just an ordinary, insignificant mortal.
I know you hold a certain regard for me.
Even an idiot could see the affection in the way you look at me.
But it can’t be. I can’t accept it.
I’m the kind of person who would deceive myself and take advantage of your feelings for me.
Compared to you, whose future is bright with possibilities, I am far beneath you…
“Insufficient, you said? Then let me fill the gap!”
“…!”
“If I’m lacking, then let me fill the void. If there’s a hole, let me pour more into it.”
“Princess-”
“You said I lack the qualifications?”
Why should you, Young Master, be the one to decide if I’m worthy to receive your heart?
You shouldn’t worry if I’m qualified; you should worry if my love for you ever wavers.
“The qualification to receive my heart isn’t something you, Young Master, should judge—”
Click!
“It’s something only I have the right to decide.”
Her smile beneath the crescent-shaped eyes.
Thump!
“…?”
For some reason, the area near my heart started to ache upon seeing her alluring, almost fantastical smile.
“Truly exasperating. Watching him makes my stomach churn.”
An empty white space.
The goddess Nephthys sighed as she looked towards ‘something’.
“Still, at least the seed has been planted, right?”
The meeting with the goddess a few days ago.
Rab—more precisely, ‘Rab’ inside—remained calm even while gazing upon the goddess.
Because he was brave? Because of unwavering faith in the goddess?
No, it was because of fear.
Would a person who hides his true feelings out of sheer fear forget that dread just because he’s in front of the goddess?
“I was very worried about this core for salvation being excessively frail, but now it seems there’s no need to worry.”
A small soul was brought unwillingly, completely unaware of its own death, trying to escape the impending bad ending. Ironically, this child learned that they were the sole human meant to save the world.
Did the child feel ‘joy’ at the opportunity to become a hero?
Or did the child feel ‘responsibility’ upon bearing such a great mission, causing tension?
She, the goddess, recalled the emotion of ‘fear’ evident in the child’s eyes.
“Fortunately, it’s not too late. I was considering whether I should intervene before it’s too late.”
The hearts of humans create miracles.
A mother’s maternal love can lift a car to save her child, and a wife in a coma can awaken due to her husband’s sincere prayers.
The seemingly unremarkable heart of a human always surprises us in ways we cannot expect.
Upon confirming the small seed of emotion planted in the child’s heart, Nephthys smiled with relief.
“From ancient times, my apostles have claimed love with their own hands. Little apostle, Cecilia, I hope you can capture his heart with your lovely hands.”
*
In the awkward atmosphere, as the sky began to darken, we hurried back to the mansion.
During this time, I was amazed, even astonished, by Ria’s determination as she firmly held my hand, insisting that the day wasn’t over yet.
Caught up in Ria’s momentum, I could only follow along in a daze until we reached the mansion.
What was that ‘click’ sound, you ask?
Don’t misunderstand. Ria simply gave my hand a quick kiss.
Although Ria is now too embarrassed to meet my eyes after kissing my hand, my reaction is probably far from normal as well…
Her words keep running through my mind, tingling in my chest as if awakening something deep inside me.
I held her hand all day without any problem, but now, I’m hyper-aware of the sensation of her touch, my nerves focused entirely on my palm.
As we returned to the mansion while the awkward atmosphere lingered, my mother noticed something was off and cautiously inquired,
“Did you two fight?”
“No, nothing like that…”
Even to my mother, it’s clear that something isn’t right between us.
“Did you do something to upset her?”
“No, I didn’t! And why does it presuppose that I must have done something wrong?”
“Hmm~ Well, it’s a relief to see you two getting along so affectionately~ Soon, everyone will find out, won’t they!”
“?!”
What does she mean by ‘everyone will find out’?
“Mother, what does ‘everyone will know’ mean?”
“Hm? You didn’t know yet? Considering your age, aren’t you and the princess planning to have your debut dance soon?”
“Ah.”
