Chapter 73 I Like You
How strange…
It was just a few simple words.
Just a slightly bashful sentence. But why did asking it feel like all my energy had been drained away…
I could have chosen not to ask.
Because just now, when I confirmed Victoria’s weakness… well, it wasn’t really a weakness. It was more like a very useful means to change her mind, which is also my specialty. The method is very simple and doesn’t require any thought—I just need to show a pitiful expression at the right time.
As long as I look scared or pitiful, Victoria will soften. She will consider my feelings and stop forcing me to do anything I don’t want to do. For example, last night when we were shopping, I didn’t want to eat the stinky smoked fish. All I needed to do was look at her, blink my eyes in a sad way, and say something soft, and she would give in to my wishes.
And there were some other small incidents that happened earlier at the mansion…
Victoria is a strong woman with a very strong sense of self. Once she decides on something, even if it’s a small thing, she won’t easily change her mind. Her words and actions rarely take others’ feelings into account, let alone blindly follow others’ opinions—except for me.
Only I can instantly change Victoria’s mind by simply showing emotions like ‘I’m sad, scared, wronged, I’m too pitiful’.
I discovered this last night and verified it not long ago—not that it was my intention.
But no matter what. Now, finally! I have a way to counter Victoria.
So, I could have chosen not to ask that question. I could continue to pretend to be ignorant. If Victoria wants to do embarrassing things to me again, all I need to do is put on a performance… no, I just need to show her the true thoughts deep inside me without any concealment.
She would then calm down just like before and never cross the boundary to the orange forbidden zone.
But actually, compared to these, I prefer to believe that Victoria won’t do such things anymore, at least not tonight.
She is not someone who lacks self-control. On the contrary, Victoria is stricter with herself than anyone else. She understands that continuing might hurt me, so regardless of how much she desires it, she won’t try again. She will stop before she sees me suffering. I believe this about her.
Therefore, I can pretend nothing happened, not break this layer of paper, and not face the unexpected feelings. As long as I say nothing and do nothing. As long as I can get through tonight, I’ll run away early tomorrow morning when the sun rises. In this way, Victoria will surely understand my attitude towards this matter, and she will never be honest with me again.
I can choose to escape. Maybe temporarily, maybe forever, but this way my heart will be lighter.
But I still asked…
Because I don’t like that.
It creates a barrier.
I don’t want there to be no more silence and comfort between Victoria and me in the future. Whenever we meet, there won’t be that quiet moment like last night. We will definitely plant a soft thorn in each other’s hearts, which may accompany us for life. In the near future, whether we haven’t seen each other for three days or have been apart for a long time, that thorn will immediately appear the first time we meet, stuck in our throats, blocking many words that should have been said.
I don’t want one day to feel that being with Victoria is awkward and torturous, nor do I want her to feel the same way about me. That’s just not what I want.
I want to become an intimate friend who can talk about anything with her, someone she knows deeply… of course, not in that sense.
I was thinking about all these things. After much hesitation, I finally made up my mind and asked that question.
“Do you like me?”
This is truly…
so embarrassing.
Embarrassing…
After asking, I immediately lowered my head, burying my face in my arms, feeling the heat on my cheeks.
I wanted to clarify things, to tell her—
I don’t know what I wanted to tell her, but I just couldn’t keep it in.
Victoria stopped her actions. She didn’t speak for a while. I wanted to turn around to see her expression, moved my feet slightly… but I didn’t dare to lift my head.
I waited quietly,
My heart was filled with trepidation.
“Peyello…”
After a long while, the beauty behind me finally spoke.
“You know, my family is a failure.”
She did not directly answer my question but sighed lightly, uttering indifferent yet slightly low-pitched words that were irrelevant to my query.
“My father, my mother. Their marriage was born out of disputes over interests; there was no love between them. This was something I understood even when I was very young. I knew they never did anything together except for necessary social occasions. Admiring flowers, tasting tea, chatting about less serious matters—I never saw them do any of these since I could remember. They even deliberately avoided having breakfast at the same time.”
“And I, precisely the child of such two people. I grew up under their guidance. I understood that when I grew up, I would also marry someone I had only met a few times, or perhaps never met at all. This was the responsibility I, as a princess of the royal family and Princess Isenbel, should bear. That was my value…”
The hand gently resting on my head slowly slid down to my shoulder, pausing there for a moment before continuing its descent. I tensed up again.
The clear voice from behind, carrying complex yet peaceful emotions, continued to reach my ears: “In the first twenty years of my life, I didn’t understand what liking someone meant. Although I had once yearned for the kind of love celebrated in stories, and imagined that one day I might meet a knight as handsome and reliable as those in tales. But I couldn’t imagine how I should act or what I should say if I truly encountered such a knight. My imagination could only stop at meeting a knight, which to me was already the best outcome, without any further developments. The reason why I felt this was impossible was because there wouldn’t be such beautiful love as in the stories. Such love doesn’t exist in reality, hence it is written into stories.”
While she was speaking, Victoria’s fingers kept sliding down my back, reaching my side waist, then extending forward to touch my lower abdomen… I could no longer hold back and firmly held her hand.
Victoria paused momentarily.
“Peyello…”
She leaned in close, whispering softly in my ear.
“I’m listening… Don’t… don’t…”
I pushed her hand away, my body trembling uncontrollably. I wanted to escape, but felt a weight on my right shoulder as Victoria rested her head on it.
“Don’t move,” she said. “Just for a moment… okay?”
Her hand climbed back up to my lower abdomen, gently holding me in her embrace. I feigned resistance for a moment but soon lost all strength, my body limp like it had no bones. Pity plays and dramatic performances… I couldn’t do them. Not even daring to lift my head.
She said just for a moment…
Fine… Just for a moment…
“I don’t know what it feels like to fall in love with someone else. There is anticipation in my heart, but actually, I am more afraid of it. Because I know, no matter what… I will only face arranged marriages.” Seeing me calm down, Victoria continued whispering in my ear, “Like Father and Mother, and the other uncles, aunts, and sisters… To me, love is like that. Coexisting with indifference every day, burying true feelings deep inside. Neither too close nor too distant, respecting each other.”
“One day, I flew up into the sky, soaring beyond the city walls to the fields outside, landing on a tree branch. Far away, I saw two girls. About seventeen or eighteen years old, they were running and playing in the fields, laughing joyfully. They ran barefoot through the mud, their hair dirty, but they didn’t care. When they got tired, they sat down in the mud, hugging each other tightly… Even though they were dirty, I felt that no one was cleaner than them. At that moment, I thought I saw the love in stories.”
Victoria leaned her head closer, her cheek touching mine, her skin smooth.
“I want that kind of love,” she said.
“I want to have that kind of love, but I don’t know how to obtain it. For this, I suffered and was confused until I was crowned queen. Until the mundane rules could no longer bind me, until that night… when I met you.”
Victoria hugged me tighter, as if trying to merge me into her body.
“So Peyello, do you still need me to answer your question?”
I couldn’t speak.
But I think, maybe Victoria didn’t need to say it anymore.
Yet, she still said it.
“I like you.”
