Suddenly, memories of my time in the Magic Tower came rushing back.
It was a place that, as long as you achieved results, elevated you above others and praised you, but the moment you fell short or lacked results, you were treated as if you were nothing.
The Dark Magic Tower was that kind of place.
As it deserved its name, those who lacked talent in magic or came from humble beginnings longed to enter this place, believing that once they stepped inside, those thoughts would vanish.
This place was hell.
A grave of knowledge filled with individuals who would even sacrifice their lives to explore the world and reach a higher realm.
“…”
There, I had thought of myself as special.
Other magicians might scoff at this notion, but I truly believed I had talent. In fact, I possessed a level of talent that no one could match.
That’s why I wanted recognition.
Whenever the people of the Magic Tower praised me for my achievements, I felt truly alive.
However, it didn’t take long for that perspective to change.
No matter how incredible one’s talent was, one couldn’t continue researching magic until death, and there were times I took breaks from my studies to enjoy myself.
That day, I was scolded severely by the Tower Master to the point I could hardly eat.
A magician destined to lead the Magic Tower should not fall into temptation; I had to continue my research and strive for a higher level of magic.
When I had learned to think, my parents were already gone, and I was repaying the kindness shown to a young girl who would otherwise starve alone or be sold off, and at that moment, for the first time, I rebelled against the Elders.
At first, it was merely a sense of rebellion.
I wanted the Elders of the Magic Tower, who never granted me a moment of rest despite my hard work, to know that I was upset.
However…
When I revealed that tiny bit of defiance, the Elders showed their true colors.
The smiles that had turned to me morphed into faces resembling demons.
The praises I had received metamorphosed into curses and harsh words.
The free time I had even briefly possessed became shackled.
It was shocking.
In fear, I researched magic like a mouse that had lost its way.
…
…
I was now old enough to support myself.
I successfully executed the escape plan I had long prepared while studying magic, escaping the Magic Tower and stepping out into the world.
Though I lacked practical experience, the vast world smiled upon a magician with immense talent like me.
While living a modest life, making enough money to get by without any special incidents, it was then that doubt about being a magician finally struck me.
What were the people of the Magic Tower hoping to achieve through their research?
What did they want to gain by going to such lengths?
Was it merely a desire to uncover all knowledge?
Was that even a plausible endeavor?
I had thought about researching magic for just a moment when I returned to my lodging, but there was no way a place like an ordinary village inn would have a magic tome, making research impossible.
Starting from scratch was feasible, but since all my research materials had vanished, there was no basis for my inquiries.
Ultimately, having lost my purpose, I fell into contemplation about why I was even alive.
What had I lived for until this age? What should I do moving forward? It wasn’t long after I began pondering these questions…
When I was attacked.
The Dark Magic Tower never intended to let go of a talent like me.
They were determined to find out where I was and forcibly capture me.
After a long chase, I arrived at the Academy.
While I was here, no one could take me.
As long as I was a student here, even the Dark Magic Tower, no matter how formidable, could not lay a hand on me.
Thus, I clung to the Academy for my life.
I had grown complacent with the reality that I was safe now.
I shouldn’t have done that.
…
…
…
When I closed my eyes, those memories vividly resurfaced.
The sight of Aria, who was covering me and sustaining a serious injury, with her student uniform stained red and the once platinum-colored hair blossoming with crimson flowers.
It hadn’t been that I hadn’t seen corpses while living as an adventurer.
In my early days as an adventurer, it was tough, but most corpses were long deceased, and when they weren’t, they were only the sights of slain monsters.
This was something else.
It was the first time I witnessed someone I knew well, a close acquaintance, shield me and take the injury instead.
And that person was none other than Aria.
The one who had treated me kindly for the first time, even though she couldn’t see or hear, and despite my rudeness, was gentle toward me.
That girl had shielded herself and endured the injury from a demon.
With a wound that would have been fatal for an ordinary person, Aria kept smiling, trying to reassure herself, and that picture kept haunting me.
Until that moment, I had been consumed by the thought that someone had died because of me, and soon after, I lost consciousness from the fear of dying and the terror of the demon.
However, thankfully, Aria was alive.
I had seen her facing the demon and had rushed to help.
Even though she was a Saint, it would have been difficult to face a high-ranking demon alone, and when I confirmed this with magic, it truly appeared to be so.
Even if I went to help, I thought there was no way we could defeat the demon, so I scattered my magic, hoping someone would come to assist.
I couldn’t just stand by and watch her face a demon alone.
That was my thought when I went to help, yet…
In the end, I almost let her take a fatal wound and die.
In fact, she didn’t need to sustain such a grave injury; she had thrown herself to protect me.
If only I hadn’t rushed in to help…
If only I hadn’t acted recklessly to the extent of worrying about causing chaos in the Academy.
This wouldn’t have happened.
Somewhere deep down, I believed myself a genius, possessing unparalleled talent in magic, which led to this poor judgment.
And this was the outcome.
If Headmaster Arhen hadn’t shown up, everyone would have perished right there.
Because of my misguided judgment.
I had almost killed both the hero and the saint of this era.
I was no talented magician.
“A useless girl.”
As they said, I was indeed a girl of no use in this world.
“You should just research magic.”
Perhaps that statement was the truth.
After all, accepting that I was nothing more than a cog in the machine of the Dark Magic Tower might be the proper conclusion.
Maybe living like that was the best fit for someone like me.
“If that’s the case… then…”
Let’s return to the tower.
I genuinely thought so.
I had no right to be here.
Because of me, everyone almost died.
Because of me, I had nearly led the hero and saint to their demise.
The appearance of the demon was almost synonymous with the resurrection of the Demon King, yet I had nearly killed the only beings capable of stopping that Demon King.
Rather than committing such an act, wouldn’t it be better to return to the tower I despised the most, to atone, and research the magic that might make this world a little better?
That’s what suited me…
“[Sister Stella.]”
…
In the end, had I gone mad?
Perhaps I was so insane that I was hearing hallucinations.
I had almost ruined everything and almost died; there was no way anyone would be speaking to me.
No… perhaps they were calling out to blame me.
If that were the case, at least it would ease my heart.
“[Sister Stella…]”
Ah… I would rather it were a hallucination.
I wished someone could just tell me that…
With trembling eyes, I looked toward the source of the movement.
“Ah… ahh…”
There stood Aria.
I couldn’t meet her gaze and turned my head to avoid looking at her.
Every time I made eye contact with Aria, those memories kept overlapping…
That face, which smiled as if nothing was wrong even while dying, that smile kept flooding back…
I felt like I was going insane.
So much so that I wanted to die from the burden of guilt.
“Please don’t come closer… please…”
Hate me.
I was in the wrong.
I’m sorry… Saintess…
Please… don’t forgive me…
