Just before I called out to Senior Elsi without thinking.
“Yeah, sorry. It was my fault… That’s why I’m going around to apologize. I know it won’t erase my sins just by saying this.”
The voice of the young woman enduring humiliation rang out.
I stopped breathing for a moment at her matter-of-fact tone.
I couldn’t believe it.
Wasn’t this Senior Elsi?
She was infamous for her terrible temper. It would be more normal for her to be hurling curses, unable to contain her anger, rather than apologize.
Yet here she was, not only bowing her head before a commoner but delivering a proper apology.
It was nothing short of a miracle.
Could Rufin have a talent for teaching after all?
But that feeling of awe didn’t last long.
Before I could fully process my emotions, a thunderous voice erupted from the man.
“…Stop joking around!”
Senior Elsi flinched, closing her eyes tightly.
It was as if she was used to such outbursts.
“I…I have no idea how much I’ve been plagued by nightmares since then! Every time I walked down the street, I had to look over my shoulder! Afraid I might encounter one of your goons…”
“…Sorry.”
Despite the torrent of words from the man, Senior Elsi remained steadfast, only muttering her apology.
The man was momentarily stunned by her gentle demeanor.
Then, trembling, he turned his head away.
I could understand how he felt.
Senior Elsi was infamous for her especially cruel methods.
Moreover, leveraging her family’s power to neutralize her opponents was her forte. It was an intimidation tactic that no commoner without connections could withstand.
Anyone would break under that.
Whether body or mind, or both.
And right before me stood someone who had suffered deep wounds, both physical and psychological.
Now, she was here offering an unexpected apology, presenting a thoroughly repentant appearance.
It would be understandable for him to be disconcerted.
And it made sense that he wouldn’t feel like forgiving Senior Elsi.
The man’s voice turned icy cold for this very reason.
“…Get lost.”
The tone was tinged with faint moisture.
The dry-voiced man removed his glasses and hastily wiped away his tears. He might have been reliving the pain he’d endured all these years.
With her head bowed, Senior Elsi offered another apology.
“To repeat, I’m sorry… If you want, I’ll apologize again, as many times as you wish…”
“Didn’t I tell you to get lost?!”
At that moment, the man roughly shoved Senior Elsi.
With a small scream, Senior Elsi fell to the ground.
At this sudden turn of events, I involuntarily trembled.
Though rumors say otherwise, could Senior Elsi really endure this too?
It seemed the man had the same question in mind.
For a brief moment, his eyes were clouded with fear.
But contrary to our concerns, there was no reaction from the fallen Senior Elsi.
She was only attempting to slowly get up.
Watching this, the man stammered out a warning.
“Listen, don’t ever show your face before me again… And don’t even think about being forgiven! You’ve left a scar on me that will never heal…”
That was his final word.
The man started walking away unsteadily, not stopping until Senior Elsi was out of sight.
Then, our eyes met.
What a bizarre coincidence.
The secluded backyard of the building was open on all sides. If he hadn’t deliberately chosen this path, the chances of us meeting would have been slim.
Still, our eyes met.
It could only be described as a trick of fate.
There was no possibility that the man had come here looking for me.
You could tell just by his suddenly deathly pale complexion.
He was clearly fearful of me.
In some ways, I was even more terrifying than Senior Elsi.
After all, I was the one who had once demolished the royal princess’s guard knights right in the middle of a main street.
Not only that, but I had even committed the audacity to assault the princess herself. Expecting normal behavior from me? No one remained in the academy who could do so.
Who would dare oppose someone who could potentially land in the temple’s intensive care unit?
Especially since, for unknown reasons, the princess herself appeared to be supporting me from behind the scenes. There was no one left who’d want to confront me directly.
In a sense, I was the superior version of Senior Elsi.
In terms of skill, the cruelty of our methods, and even the powerful backing I had, it was the same.
It was an unfair reputation in either case.
I’d never once attacked someone first.
Mostly, it was legitimate retaliation. I’d never used violence against a helpless commoner.
My clash with the princess happened for valid reasons.
But not everyone can understand these detailed circumstances.
Therefore, it was only natural that the man feared me more than Senior Elsi.
Especially since rumors of my close relationship with Senior Elsi were already widespread throughout the academy, he must have been doubly terrified.
Trembling, the man slowly took a step back.
He shook his head desperately while almost sobbing.
As if he had encountered a legendary monster.
“Oh… Oh, it’s a misunderstanding… Please understand…”
“…It’s fine.”
That was my reply as I let out a deep sigh.
Of course, the man was watching me suspiciously, his eyes filled with distrust.
He was perceptive.
In reality, my consciousness wasn’t at ease.
Seeing Senior Elsi pushed and fall made me feel an indignant surge of emotion, justified or not.
But I knew.
This had to stop.
I tried my best to calm my mind and feigned my normal voice.
“You’re the victim here… Just go.”
Human hearts can be fickle indeed.
Before long, I had developed affection for Senior Elsi, and naturally felt the urge to take her side.
I resolved to be wary of this inclination.
Of course, it didn’t prevent the pang of sympathy in my chest.
Poor Senior Elsi.
No, I shouldn’t feel sorry for her. Why was I feeling this way?
Even as the man hurriedly left, I silently watched Senior Elsi.
It took her a while, but she eventually managed to get up shakily.
She scrunched up her face and brushed off the dirt from her clothes.
Then, in true form, she unleashed her usual abusive language.
“d*mn rookie. What a tight-hearted son of a g*n.”
But, there was undeniable sorrow and humiliation in her words.
I couldn’t speak for a long time.
I quietly stepped back, thinking of Senior Elsi’s pride.
The next day, I ultimately sought out Reto.
Despite hesitating to confide in him about my private matters with Senior Elsi, I needed a trustworthy advisor.
Reto was certainly capable of fulfilling that role.
As expected, he was already aware of all the rumors about Senior Elsi.
When I sat across from him and sighed, he clicked his tongue in disdain.
“Tsk tsk, why did you have to mess things up so much?”
“…I didn’t know I was such a wretched person.”
“Well, let me enlighten you. You’re terrible, handing out chances left and right to people you can’t handle. You’re garbage.”
As always, Reto delivered his merciless evaluation.
I didn’t have the energy to be angry.
I merely raised my hands in surrender.
“Alright, it’s my fault… So, what should I do, Reto?”
“What’s your heart saying?”
The immediate counter-question left me speechless.
It was a question I couldn’t possibly answer.
I felt as if I’d been stabbed.
Reto’s emerald green eyes were steadily watching me. With a solemn look, he asked again.
“What does your heart say? I need to know that, don’t I?”
But it was impossible for a satisfactory answer to suddenly appear after days of deliberation.
After hesitating for a long while, I exhaled another long sigh and replied.
“To be honest, I also don’t quite…”
“No one knows their own heart.”
Reto said, turning away his gaze indifferently.
He carelessly flipped a page in the book he was reading.
It was as if he didn’t care what happened to me.
“Hiding, being delusional, or looking away… If you don’t know your own heart, who else would? That’s wishful thinking, like something from a romance novel. Though, that’s one of the amusing aspects of human psychology…”
Reto’s eyes briefly glanced back at me.
Confronted with his insight, I could only look down at the ground in silence.
“You no longer have the luxury to run away. People like me, who are rotten to the core, might, but you… being someone who’s always half-hearted, you’ll naturally keep struggling.”
“…So?”
“The only way out is to lay your emotions bare.”
As if stating the obvious, Reto said this.
He continued flipping pages of his book while giving sincere advice.
“Can’t you see the obvious? That senior is being genuine… Therefore, you need to respond sincerely as well.”
After much deliberation, I decided to heed Reto’s advice.
As always.
Reto was right.
No one can genuinely escape from their true feelings.
Not me, not Senior Elsi.
Therefore, a time for my decision had come.
There was nothing for it but to steel myself.
It was time to face Senior Elsi’s sincerity.
And my own.
