Chapter 3

# 3 < Three Lives (2) >

***

The next day came, and after eating breakfast, he grabbed his bag.

Perhaps because of the acorn incident, Jang Gun-i growled at Jin-hyeok. Even though they were close, it felt like he was being a bit too clingy. Still, Jin-hyeok, being a year older, decided to endure it.

“I’m off!”

Afraid Jang Gun-i might bite his heel, he dashed off as if being chased.

Luckily, even though Jang Gun-i was faster, he only followed behind without biting or overtaking. He followed Jin-hyeok all the way to the wide stream, barked loudly, and then returned home.

Slowly, memories were coming back, but still, he couldn’t quite grasp them as he headed to school for the second time. He could run faster than yesterday, and his breathing wasn’t as heavy.

Jin-hyeok sat at his desk, closed his eyes, and meditated. He imagined breathing in through his nose, the air passing through his brain, lungs, and dantian. When exhaling, he did it in reverse, spitting it out through his mouth. Throughout the process, he consciously felt the shape and beat of his heart.

After a few breaths, the sweat on his forehead cooled, and his stiff legs relaxed. A current flowed from the top of his head to his toes, and his body temperature rose.

‘I don’t know what this is, but I just do it.’

It might be the privilege of a regressor that those scam web novel authors shouted about, but breathing is a privilege of the living.

Thinking back, there were often friends like that.

Kids more mature and serious than their peers. They would watch their friends playing with contentment, wander around the garbage incinerator with their hands behind their backs, or mutter while picking up bottles in the mountains. Though they lived ordinary lives without any standout traits, looking back now, they were quite mature in their own way.

‘Were they regressors too?’

Unable to blend in with their childish peers, living trapped in their own worlds.

The meditation didn’t last long.

Creak- Clank-.

The old sliding classroom door opened, and a little girl walked in. She had her hair in pigtails and was wearing a skirt.

“Son Jin-hyeok, hi? Your house is far, but you came early again today?”

“Yeah, I did. Come on in. The commute wasn’t too crowded…”

What am I saying?

The girl widened her eyes, and Jin-hyeok quickly shut his mouth. Damn it, talking about the commute like a little kid. Still, it was worth having the conversation.

‘Let’s see, that kid is…’

That friend is Kim Min-kyung. She lives in a village in the opposite direction from Jin-hyeok’s house, following the bus route from school. She had big eyes and cried a lot. In the first semester of second grade, there was almost a fight when he stopped another kid from bullying her.

Like smoke gathering back into a bonfire. That’s how Son Jin-hyeok’s memories slowly returned. Afraid they might fly away with his breath or disappear if he closed his eyes, Jin-hyeok sucked in all the returning memories.

‘Seems like not all web novel authors are full of it.’

Though not perfect, memories flowed in like a slow-motion video. Those guys are half full of it, huh.

Delighted by the seeping memories, he gradually conversed with his friends and retrieved more memories.

*

‘I know I’ve returned to the past.’

Though he was focused ahead, Jin-hyeok’s thoughts were buried in a puzzle that wasn’t easily solved. It was a difficult question, even without borrowing Socrates’ words.

‘Who the hell am I?’

If he had said it out loud, someone might have burst out laughing. They might have patted his head, calling him cute, or given him a light smack.

The contemplation of the self usually begins when one firmly recognizes their role as a member of a group, like the responsibility of being a dad or mom. But Son Jin-hyeok just wanted to understand. The current situation.

It wasn’t a question thrown out because he didn’t know who he was. Who was he, who had he been, to have such an opportunity to return to the past? When such things happen, the question ‘Why did I come back?’ should come first. But he didn’t have the leisure to arrange and reorder the questions.

Because.

“Son Jin-hyeok-.”

“Yes-.”

Everyone was looking at him.

The teacher had called his name, so Jin-hyeok stood up. It was Mr. Choi Eung-muk. Still called a national school, he was Jin-hyeok’s homeroom teacher in second grade. Always smiling, he was Jin-hyeok’s favorite teacher in his previous life.

“Our class president Jin-hyeok got a perfect score on this test too. Shall we all give him a round of applause?”

“Wow-!”

Clap clap clap-.

The teacher’s lines and the kids’ envious gazes were eerily familiar. Just saying familiar isn’t enough. It’s because he had experienced it before.

‘The memories are getting clearer.’

Class. Though he had learned it once in his previous life, there’s no way he could remember the details. But what’s so hard about second-grade elementary school lessons? Besides, Jin-hyeok had been the top student at the best university. Back then, he had let go of everything, so he didn’t brag about it.

During class, he looked at the blackboard, and during breaks, he watched the kids playing, trying to recall more memories. Unlike a child, he frowned, and his deep brown eyes, filled with anguish, were as dark as the abyss.

“Our Jin-hyeok is so mature. Did you get more dignified after Chuseok?”

No. I’m just spacing out, and you call it dignified. And I only became this mature since the day before yesterday. But I don’t feel like arguing with the teacher.

He just awkwardly smiled.

‘This is really confusing.’

Nine years old. Not the smart nine-year-old of the 21st century with established early education. There were still kids who couldn’t memorize the multiplication tables.

“Teacher, Jae-suk wet himself-.”

There was even a kid who, unable to ask to go to the bathroom during class, just relieved himself while sitting on his chair. Kang Jae-suk, that kid, cried with his shoulders shaking, face down on his desk. They weren’t cunning or cheeky, just pure.

*

A day of classes at a rural elementary school second grade lasted until the fifth period.

Until lunch after the fourth period, Jin-hyeok hadn’t recalled all his memories. It meant he didn’t fully know what would happen next. Jin-hyeok’s confusion didn’t settle.

Especially.

‘Foster parents.’

Why he had to live with them. He couldn’t remember until school ended. It also meant he couldn’t remember why his parents had left far away.

Restoring memories was harder than he thought. He had imagined that over 30 years would be a physically long distance. But even Jin-hyeok, with his genius brain, couldn’t easily recall, which was strange.

‘I wish the memories from this point would come back.’

Someone approached Jin-hyeok, who was sitting blankly.

“Jin-hyeok, do you want to come to my house today?”

“Your house?”

It was a girl named Lee Hae-won. Her house was further inland, near the sea. Her parents ran a store at the bus terminal. The only store in the rural village. They also provided lodging for the last bus drivers, so they made a decent living. That’s why Hae-won dressed like a princess, rare in the countryside.

“Uh-, hey. Friend, I-.”

“Come on-, we said we’d do something fun today.”

Hae-won pulled Jin-hyeok’s arm as if she would drag him away immediately.

Only then did he remember what they did at Hae-won’s house in his previous life. They picked up stones by the sea, flipped small rocks to catch crabs, and played. They also ate snacks Hae-won brought from her parents’ store.

It was shocking. Reaching a shaded spot, Hae-won sat on a rock, lifted her skirt, and grinned. Honestly, at nine, they already knew about such things.

‘I mumbled and made excuses before going home.’

It was embarrassing and made his face burn. That memory coming back made his heart pound again. It felt like the emotions he had suppressed in his previous life were returning, the shock a naive country boy had felt back then.

“Uh, friend. I’ll come next time. My mom told me to come home early today.”

“Okay. Promise? Jin-hyeok, you can’t look at other kids’ stuff, okay?”

Hae-won grinned.

It seemed she was determined to do that today. Even in the countryside, there were cheeky kids and unruly troublemakers. In some ways, country kids were more cunning than city kids. Jin-hyeok concluded it wasn’t about the countryside or the city but about the person.

‘Is every moment repeating?’

Nine-year-old Jin-hyeok wondered, watching Hae-won’s retreating figure. He had changed, but why hadn’t the people around him changed? Was it because he hadn’t been back long? It was a worry without an answer.

‘Should I go to Hae-won’s place?’

Hmm… what would I do there? My body is nine, but my tastes aren’t.

In his previous life, Jin-hyeok had never kissed a woman. He kept women at a distance, almost like having a cleanliness obsession, suppressing and erasing even impulses, making it possible.

That’s right. Son Jin-hyeok had never held a woman. He had chosen a life of solitude. And yet.

‘It feels like I have experience. A lot of it.’

I swear I have no memory of dating a woman. Is this also a regressor’s privilege? No way. Such fake memories, no different from the uncanny valley, can’t be a privilege.

The vague memories confusing Jin-hyeok swayed like a ghost behind a mask in the mist. Maybe that ghost was Casanova, thought nine-year-old Jin-hyeok.

***

Three days. It took a full three days for most of the memories in his nine-year-old body to return. Friends, parents, and the villagers. But they were only childhood memories, so there wasn’t much to gain from the memories etched in his nine-year-old body. What Jin-hyeok needed were future memories. Especially, memories from a few days later.

His parents never fought or raised their voices. They loved Jin-hyeok more than anything in the world. The way they treated him was different, even his dad, unlike other country folks.

‘Now that I think about it, I never found it strange.’

Dad. He was very different from the other uncles in the village and even the school teachers.

Starting with his speech.

– “Hello, elder. Have you eaten?”

– “Mi-kyung, when your dad comes, tell him Jin-hyeok’s dad stopped by, okay?”

The villagers who heard his dad’s speech would shrink their necks as if a snake were crawling on them.

– “Jin-hyeok’s dad-, what does this Chinese character say?”

– “Jin-hyeok’s dad-. I heard you have a house? Can you name our youngest daughter-?”

They always sought Jin-hyeok’s dad for intellectual matters.

Even though his dad always held Jin-hyeok’s hand when they went out, Jin-hyeok never found it strange. Seeing his dad every day, thinking it was strange would have been strange itself.

Jin-hyeok was frustrated.

‘Focus, focus.’

The memories from his previous life were still missing.

The memory of losing his parents hadn’t come back yet, and he was anxious, not wanting to repeat the nightmare of living under abusive foster parents.

‘It’s only been a few decades, why can’t I remember?’

Trying to recall his previous life’s memories felt like crossing a long tunnel with a single candle.

Then, two mischievous friends approached Jin-hyeok. Kang Jin-soo and Yook Seong-chan. Their fathers didn’t know each other, but their names matched perfectly. Even the teachers called them Jin-soo Seong-chan together.

“Jin-hyeok, do you want to go to the school’s back mountain with us? They say a lot of acorns fell-.”

“Hey, Jin-soo. Squirrels and chipmunks need to eat too-. They’ll starve to death-.”

A change came over Jin-hyeok.

Sit-iseo?

‘It means the three of us.’

Starve to death?

‘They’ll die?’

It felt like finding a lost puzzle piece.

It was a flood of puzzle pieces, but it was an easy puzzle to arrange in order, and it was a grateful flood. The moment the candle barely lighting the tunnel turned into headlights.

Tears streamed down.

“Hey, Seong-chan. Jin-hyeok’s crying. Why are you talking about death-.”

Jin-hyeok waved his hand at the kids.

‘No, guys, it’s not that. Thank you.’

For helping me remember.