“Na, I did my best too… But the only thing I’ve learned my whole life is that, so my heart doesn’t go as I wish! I also want to sincerely apologize…”
I endured that sobbing for a while.
Senior Elsi’s whimpering quickly turned into helpless crying.
“…I think I’m sorry. I must have done something wrong. I’ll keep trying. Someday, I hope to be forgiven. But I don’t want to be hated by you, even for a single moment.”
It was a tone close to pleading.
Her watery, blue eyes captured my image with longing. I felt as if I would fall into those clear eyes like a lake.
She was such a proud and haughty woman.
Perhaps she had never even bothered with commoners.
Yet that woman threw aside all her pride and honor and walked with her head bowed.
So much so that even if she were cursed at or assaulted, she couldn’t make a sound.
It was an action born solely from not wanting to be hated by me.
Someday, she might change, genuinely apologize, and seek forgiveness.
However, that meant she did not want to be even a little distant from my side.
It was indeed a trivial reason.
I ended up letting out a hollow laugh once again.
Senior Elsi looked at me with anxiety and impatience.
“Do you hate me…?”
That was Senior Elsi’s true feeling.
I hesitated for a while and recalled Reto’s advice, which I had engraved in my heart.
The only response to sincerity was sincerity.
So I decided to confess my vulnerable side for the first time.
“…Senior Elsi.”
At my call, Senior Elsi chose silence.
It seemed she realized that my atmosphere had changed.
“To be honest, I’m not that strong. I am scared of dying, and I’m narrow-minded… But the thing I fear the most is that the number of precious people in my life is increasing.”
It was embarrassing to share something I had never revealed before.
My face flushed slightly, but Senior Elsi listened to my words without saying anything.
She still maintained a serious demeanor.
Thanks to that, I felt a bit more at ease to continue my story.
“As you know, it wouldn’t be strange if I died at any moment… It’s terrifying that I’m unable to protect and lose the people I cherish, and I’m also extremely fearful that if I die, my precious people will have to suffer that pain.”
“…But you already have enough precious people, right?”
“Still, not as much as a romantic partner.”
I couldn’t tell when it started.
When the burden was suddenly placed on my back, its weight didn’t feel so heavy.
It was such an enormous matter that I couldn’t even grasp its reality.
However, as time passed, I gradually realized just how heavy the burden on my back was.
It was scary and frightening.
The fact that it had to be me, that if not, the world might perish.
Why did it have to be me?
Pushing myself as though to abuse myself, oscillating between life and death, I asked countless times.
There was no answer to that question.
I just hoped that this burden would end with me carrying it.
Even if someday I were crushed under this weight, I wished that the number of people in pain would decrease even a little.
So I pushed away Senior Elsi’s feelings for now.
Without knowing what my true feelings were, moaning under the weight on my shoulders.
“So I couldn’t accept your feelings, Senior Elsi… I never hated you, I’m sorry for lying back then.”
It was a long confession.
It was my true feelings that I had not shared even with Reto or Celin.
Besides, I felt like sharing it would only make her more anxious.
The enemy I had to confront was an unclear force lurking in the shadows. If I, who was supposed to be the center, wavered, there was a risk that anxiety would spread.
Especially in the case of Senior Delphine, who only followed me, admiring my strength.
I couldn’t show any weakness.
Senior Elsi didn’t say a word for a while.
She simply stared at me intently.
That overt gaze made me awkward, and I turned my eyes away.
She might have been disappointed in me.
Senior Elsi seemed to admire my strength, just like Senior Delphine.
If that were the case, it would be inevitable if Senior Elsi decided to leave.
It was bitter, but it was better than deceiving Senior Elsi.
Being by my side meant risking her life.
Then, after a while, Senior Elsi stammered and finally spoke.
“Cu, Cute…”
It was a word spat out after a nervous silence.
What was she trying to say, I thought, just as my gaze shifted back to Senior Elsi.
Suddenly, a sweet fragrance surged into my nose.
I felt the soft touch of her skin. It took me a moment to grasp the situation.
Senior Elsi had pulled me into her chest.
In an instant, I felt breathless.
Though Senior Elsi seemed to have a small chest due to her physique, it was surprisingly ample. At least it was enough to suffocate my mouth and nose.
There was no way I could pull away like this.
If I forced my way out, Senior Elsi’s injured shoulder could get worse.
I had limited options available.
In the end, I had no choice but to tap on her arm as I gasped for air.
Regardless of what I did, Senior Elsi just squealed with delight.
“Cu, Cute! My master, were you that scared of me being sad? Is that why you pushed me away? Oh my, oh my!”
No, more than that, I wanted to breathe.
I desperately wanted to express my thoughts, but it was impossible.
It was because Senior Elsi brought her cheek closer to mine.
Only then did I remember a fact I had forgotten.
Senior Elsi had mentioned she cared for her younger brother quite a bit.
It seemed she was weak against the younger brother type.
If I could, I wanted to play along a bit.
To be honest, being in Senior Elsi’s arms felt good.
However, as time went on, I found it increasingly difficult to breathe, until finally, my hand grasped Senior Elsi’s arm due to my unbearable need for air.
“…Then, can’t we try together?”
With that word, the tension in my body loosened.
At the same time, Senior Elsi’s hold on me relaxed.
Released from captivity, I gasped for breath.
And I couldn’t help but turn a puzzled gaze towards Senior Elsi.
She had an exceptionally caring expression.
It was a look I had never seen from Senior Elsi before.
Yes, it felt like an adult.
No, of course, both of us were adults.
“In the future, I will sincerely apologize and seek forgiveness too, so you should decide your response… Until then, I’ll try to endure.”
Hearing that sweet voice, I suddenly realized.
That Senior Elsi was older than me.
Why had I never noticed until now?
I couldn’t find an answer to that question, so I could only respond blankly.
“…Yes, I will.”
Trials and tribulations lead to growth.
I might have been unaware of it. Perhaps the battle with the Corpse Giant had made Senior Elsi grow even a bit.
Of course, the Senior Elsi after that was the same as usual.
As she tried to rise, she screamed and fell back down.
I could hear a thud, suggesting her shoulder had taken a hit.
Senior Elsi bit down on her lip and, as always, unleashed a stream of curses.
“Ah! That damn bitch because of her…!”
But when our eyes met, Senior Elsi immediately shut her mouth.
After a moment of awkward eye contact, she gradually averted her gaze while glancing at me.
Eventually, Senior Elsi let out an awkward laugh and began to act cute towards me.
“Hehe, you know I wasn’t talking to you, right? I was saying all that to that Rudmila bitch…!”
The mature demeanor she had just shown felt like a mirage.
Nonetheless, I couldn’t help but let out a faint smile.
Yeah, I liked this side of Senior Elsi too.
In fact, it felt even more comfortable this way.
It seemed like our relationship had returned to what it was.
Later, Senior Elsi began to stir up trouble, claiming to be my ‘pet and more than a lover,’ but that was a story for another time.
For now, I decided to savor the moment.
On the day the conflict with Senior Elsi was resolved, I drank alcohol.
Through my hazy mind, I read the fourth letter once more.
I could roughly guess who the sender of this letter was.
It was probably Senior Elsi.
If so, did that mean I was going to become her lover in the future?
In the past, I would have denied it, saying it was absurd, but somehow, I felt that it might become a reality.
Everything was fitting together perfectly.
The trajectory I had traveled matched precisely with the future described in the fourth letter.
I had once again preserved the future mentioned in the love letter from the future.
I didn’t know how many more letters would come, but if I continued as I had been, an end would eventually come.
With that pleasant thought in mind, I fell asleep, and not long after, I had a dream.
The long dream was a chaotic one, far more vivid than normal.
How much time had passed?
Gasping, I opened my eyes and instinctively shifted my gaze to the table beside my bed.
And there it was, as usual, the letters were in place.
It was the same as always.
No, in fact, it was not ‘always’ the same.
Because it showed a strikingly different aspect than the letters that had arrived until now.
Without even being able to wipe the sweat pouring down, I let out a resigned laugh.
“…What is this?”
On the table, two letters had arrived.
It was the beginning of a new incident.
