It was a long time before I was able to calm Emma down.
Despite several minutes of comfort and persuasion, Emma still had a flushed face. I could see a hallucination of steam rising over her deeply bowed head.
It must have been because she felt that embarrassed.
She looked like she was just munching on dried mushrooms. In reality, it wasn’t such a shameful scene at all.
Yes, that’s what I should have said.
I couldn’t bring myself to offer that much comfort.
Because the scenery from back then kept replaying in my mind.
The image of her munching on dried mushrooms with tears in her eyes.
It was a face that seemed to contain an overall gratitude for life, like a piece of art.
From the squatting position to minimize the energy consumption, to her pitiful effort to melt the dried mushrooms with her saliva.
It was sincerity that could only be shown by someone who hadn’t been able to eat for a long time.
Of course, hunger and poverty were not sins.
They were merely inescapable conditions of life.
Life often functions on such unreasonable foundations. I had no desire to blame or shame that.
If there were those who wanted to, they were likely people with nothing else to be proud of.
But that was just my personal opinion.
Emma already felt inferior because she came from a common background.
Though she pretended to speak informally with me, her self-deprecation often revealed itself in her subtle behaviors. It was needless to say, especially now that she felt indebted to me.
In the midst of all this, she was in a situation where she couldn’t even have a proper meal.
It wouldn’t be strange for Emma to feel shame.
Moreover, I also didn’t want to see her in that state.
It wasn’t because I was disappointed or embarrassed.
It was simply because it hurt my heart.
The fact that Emma was struggling so much, and that I was one of the reasons for it, was painful to the point of being unbearable.
So I couldn’t act like it didn’t bother me.
After all, I was the main cause of what had made her this way.
But it seemed Emma misinterpreted the emotions reflected in my expression.
With a voice still wet with tears, Emma apologized.
“I-I’m sorry… it’s embarrassing…”
“No, it’s not!”
I immediately denied Emma’s words.
It wouldn’t be good to leave it like this. Emma’s feelings might dig endlessly into a pit.
Feeling an urgent need, I rarely continued my persuasion without hesitation.
“Why do you think you look embarrassing? I actually liked seeing your honest side… it was, kind of cute too…”
“……Cute?”
Emma’s emerald eyes, glistening with moisture, turned towards me.
There was no sign of sadness or pain.
I desperately nodded my head to seize the opportunity.
“Y-Yes! Of course it was cute, you usually have such a meticulous side, but you seem kind of lost in moments like this.”
After some time of fidgeting, I finally let out a resigned sigh.
Fortunately, it seemed like Emma’s mood had lightened a bit.
I decided to speak from my heart now.
I held Emma’s delicate hand in mine.
She flinched slightly with a sound, but didn’t reject my touch.
A faint blush rose on her cheeks.
“……But Emma, I hope you don’t have to struggle. Please eat regularly and don’t overexert yourself. Every time your complexion looks pale, my heart aches.”
Emma stared blankly at me without saying a word.
She didn’t seem to have the intention to retort my words.
That was at least a positive signal.
I just hoped this would encourage a little improvement in Emma’s daily life. Since Emma was so devoted, I needed to put a brake on her occasionally.
Just a moment ago, it seemed like that was the case.
Emma had told me she visited the alchemy guild not long ago. She had to sell some potions out of desperation, so it should have been normal to have enough funds for a while.
Yet, if she was still munching on dried mushrooms, there could only be one reason.
She had squandered her materials.
Unable to hold back, for the sake of research.
In this way, no matter how much money I gave, there would be limits.
Even if the quality of the meals improved, the amount of sleep would decrease.
That couldn’t happen.
“Just as much as you are precious to me, you are also incredibly precious to me… so please don’t overdo it. I will make up for whatever you lack in the future…”
“……Stop it.”
However, I couldn’t finish my words.
Emma turned red and averted her gaze as she said that.
I thought her reaction was pretty good.
I could only close my mouth in bewilderment.
“Don’t keep doing this. Holding hands and looking at me seriously… that, that makes me misunderstand.”
“……What do you mean?”
In response to my puzzled question, Emma cleared her throat awkwardly and spoke.
Of course, she still couldn’t meet my gaze.
“I-I think you are being serious…”
“I am serious.”
“Aah, really!”
Emma could no longer contain herself and raised her voice.
Her tearful face turned toward me.
“……This is why I can’t let go.”
It was a sulky complaint.
I had no choice but to wait silently for Emma’s next words. It was only natural since I didn’t even know what Emma was trying to say in the first place.
Not too long after, Emma let out a deep sigh.
It was a sign of reflection.
“I-I didn’t plan to spend all the money from the beginning… but I kept worrying about you, and the alchemy materials caught my eye…”
Each hesitant word she uttered was warm.
It was just Emma’s nature.
Warm, considerate, like a pebble soaked in warmth.
Just being next to her made me feel at ease.
I reluctantly wore a bitter smile.
The firm determination I had to firmly tell her something had long vanished.
How could I be so resolute with such a gentle woman?
Emma looked dejected and subtly watched my reaction.
“……I’m sorry for making you worry.”
“It’s okay, Emma. Thank you… for thinking about me so much.”
After that, we shared a long-overdue lighthearted conversation.
Of course, I had to condense the story of my encounter with the retinue of the evil god. I feared Emma’s reaction upon learning that I had almost died.
She might stay up all night to create better potions.
Or she might faint from the shock and only cry while she was awake.
Emma was fragile.
I had to protect her.
That judgment wasn’t wrong, as the conversation with Emma unfolded in a rather gentle atmosphere. At some points in the storytelling, Emma let out gasps of surprise.
However, there were some things that, no matter how much I tried to hide, simply wouldn’t fade away.
For me, it was the separation from Ned.
I tried to recount it as calmly as possible, but I couldn’t escape Emma’s concerned gaze.
She cautiously asked me.
“……Are you okay?”
“Yeah, I am now.”
I swallowed the words “maybe” that could have followed.
I didn’t want to burden Emma with unnecessary worries.
But this was in vain, as Emma, as she always did, picked up on my feelings quickly.
Yes, as she always did.
Emma watched my expression silently for a while, then hesitantly pulled me into an embrace.
I briefly considered withstanding it.
Yet, not long after, I found myself burying my face into Emma’s chest like I was enchanted. The sweet scent tickled my insides.
It was soft and resilient.
I decided to enjoy that sensation without a care in the world.
“You’ve worked hard, I-an…”
The scenery of my hometown flashed through my mind.
As the villagers cried, they buried the uncollected corpses among the charred remains that had collapsed. The gravestones stood like saplings.
It was painful and distressing.
Loss carves a heavy pain into the heart. It seemed like it would be easy to forget, yet the cries from that day resurfaced and choked me again.
Ned’s sister, Mei, asked me.
“……Young master, where did my brother go?”
It wasn’t the kind of question to throw at someone all wrapped in bandages.
But the other party was just a child, and at an age where they might not even understand death.
I didn’t know what to say.
Not at all, at all.
I could only pat Mei on the head.
Clumsily managed excuses followed.
“He went to keep a promise.”
“……Why?”
Mei asked, with her eyes filled with unshed tears, seeming not to understand.
“Why did he have to keep a promise, leaving even me behind?”
“Because…”
I had to protect you.
That was Ned’s only vow.
Burying all those words in my heart, I answered Mei.
“……A noble knight doesn’t tell lies.”
Hoping that in Mei’s memories, Ned would remain as a noble knight.
Now, even when I retraced all those memories, no tears came.
I only treated my aching heart with Emma’s warmth and scent, as if that would cover all the painful memories.
Emma held me tight until I chose to stop.
How long had it been?
Once my heart settled down, I slowly raised my head from Emma’s embrace. I let out a cough out of embarrassment.
Even so, Emma silently looked at me with a gentle smile.
Though she didn’t speak, her feelings were conveyed.
That alone felt like a great source of strength.
After some time, Emma forced out a bright voice to lighten the heavy atmosphere.
“By the way, I-an. Do you want to see the ingredients I brought? I discovered a rare ingredient in the city this time!”
It was obvious that it would be something I wouldn’t even recognize if I saw it.
But since I was grateful for Emma’s thoughtfulness, I got up with a faint smile.
“You mean the ingredients you traded for your meals?”
“Y-Yes! But I have no regrets!”
With a resolute expression, Emma took out a bag that had been sitting on the shelf.
Inside was a bunch of white mosses that emitted a faint glow.
I had never seen such things before.
Seeing the puzzled look on my face, Emma immediately began to explain.
With her shoulders back and a fist on her chest, she looked quite cute, which deepened my smile.
“This moss only grows in the northernmost coniferous forests! It absorbs the magic of the permafrost, making it difficult to obtain… As you know, there’s a curse from one of the seven deadly sins lingering at the furthest north of the continent.”
The northern region and the seven deadly sins.
As I listened to Emma’s story, those two words suddenly resonated in my ears.
Now that I think about it, I remember what I heard during my mythology class a long time ago.
The reason the north is surrounded by eternal cold.
Before I could continue my thoughts, Emma, unable to hide her pride, continued speaking.
“It’s such a cold place that not only is it difficult to collect, but even entering is a challenge, and yet it grows in such abundance… Isn’t it amazing?! So this is ‘Snow Cursed’… Huh?”
That was when I sensed an ominous sign.
Emma’s previously excited tone fell sharply. I could only examine Emma’s expression with confusion.
Emma stared blankly at a handful of “Snow Cursed” she was holding.
“T-This isn’t ‘Snow Cursed’…”
“……What? They’re all fake?”
Emma slowly shook her head and began to examine the items inside the bag one by one, ultimately coming to a conclusion with a forlorn expression.
“About 10% of them are fake. This is strange… I’ve never had such an issue with a merchant before, why suddenly…?”
10%.
That was an ambiguous ratio.
I wondered if it was a planned scam or a result of trying to deceive, counting on the trust of experts like Emma.
I secretly fiddled with the hatchet at my waist.
“……That cost you your meal, didn’t it?”
At my comment, Emma let out a distressed sound.
She began to sweat coldly and looked to me for cues.
It seemed that she firmly believed the faulty rumors about me as well.
I was a pacifist, but in Emma’s eyes, it looked like she was facing a ticking time bomb ready to explode.
She managed to put on a bright smile and said to me.
“It’s okay! The mushrooms are delicious! Especially, the white stump mushroom is coming up frequently in the forest lately, so there are a variety of dishes! Mushroom salad, mushroom roast, mushroom stir-fry, mushroom juice, dried mushroom tang….”
Mushrooms, mushrooms, mushrooms.
No matter how long I waited, all that came out of Emma’s mouth was mushrooms. Even though she counted over ten types of dishes she could make with her fingers.
In the end, I couldn’t hold back any longer and let out a deep sigh.
And I uttered one line.
“……Where does that guy live?”
I asked only the urgent question.
Emma hesitated, avoiding my gaze, but internally I couldn’t help but chuckle.
‘Northern region’ and ‘moss.’
What a strange connection, isn’t it?
It seemed I would have to save my reunion with Emma for another time.
