I wasn’t originally a good-tempered person. In fact, to be honest, I leaned more toward the bad side.
Fighting with fists was a daily occurrence since I was young. I frequently got into fights, and once I started, I saw it through to the end.
Because of this, I had earned the cute nickname ‘Samddak.’
I was incredibly lenient with those I considered mine.
However, if they weren’t mine?
I couldn’t find a reason to be kind.
I probably got rid of this black-and-white thinking in the military. Around that time, I learned how to suppress my anger and pretend to be nice.
There were no “my people” there.
And the Old Man already knew about my tendencies.
That day was one where the training just wasn’t going well.
Though it wasn’t because my body was sluggish or my head heavy, strangely, everything went wrong.
My spear didn’t thrust as far as I expected, and my center of gravity wavered.
Finally, emptying my mind, I began to destroy the scarecrows.
Like erasing thoughts, like shedding emotions, I swung away without purpose.
It wasn’t just one or two.
Around when I’d smashed about 200 in a row, the ruined training field was silent.
Broken pieces of wood floated through the air, slowly sinking to the ground.
The shattered shapes lay scattered around me in great numbers. My fingertips trembled hotly.
I sighed, gripping my spear even tighter.
This wasn’t enough.
Demons are strong. Especially the officers… they’re just monsters with human forms.
So, could I stand before these characters and lead them?
“Can I protect them?”
I repeatedly asked myself.
“I don’t blame you.”
How long had I been pondering like this?
A quiet voice came from behind me.
I turned my head slowly.
It was the Old Man.
“Ah… you’re here?”
I tried to maintain calmness, but from the start, that was meaningless in front of the Old Man.
He knew me too well. He had already seen through the emotions woven within my eyes.
“…You don’t need to completely suppress your inner anger.”
He closed his eyes.
“Regardless, it is still a part of you.”
I silently mulled over his words.
No need to suppress…
I sat down and closed my eyes, introspecting within myself.
The depths of me where incomplete emotions were tangled.
Unending, boiling fury stemming from my sense of inadequacy.
And an ingrained weariness that carried within it a feeling of helplessness.
Between these two, I had always urged myself on, pressing down these feelings.
‘Anger is an unnecessary emotion. Anxiousness and wavering are nothing but weaknesses.’
That’s what I believed.
So I concentrated on suppressing my emotions rather than controlling myself.
But, is that really true?
If it’s true what the Old Man said, that there’s no need to suppress—
Perhaps, I could just accept it.
I inhaled deeply.
And in that moment, I faced the emotions dominating me as they were.
Hot, cold, overwhelming, empty.
But contrary to expectations, the emotions didn’t attempt to control me.
I slowly tuned them.
Not suppressing, not denying, just letting the flow take its course.
Balancing them so they wouldn’t mix chaotically, yet not throwing them away completely.
I am not a madly rampaging beast.
Yet neither am I a Buddha who endures everything.
I possess emotions.
But I don’t let these emotions sway me.
I opened my eyes.
My whole body was drenched in sweat.
Looking around, three days had passed. The Old Man was standing behind me.
He, who had been closing his eyes,
“…Good job.”
Left a brief message and turned his back.
Then, as he stepped out the door, he added,
“And, congratulations.”
I remained seated and confirmed the window that had appeared before me.
[You have acquired ‘Clear Mirror Water (明鏡止水)’ Technique.]
This was the reason I was called a ‘Spiritual Demon’.
*
As soon as the countdown ended, Johan moved. Drawing his sword from his waist and pointing it at me.
As if he were some real hero.
“Shouldn’t you be more careful?”
The corner of his mouth twitched into a loose smirk.
Leaning on the cheers and shouts from the audience, he looked down at me.
After mastering ‘Clear Mirror Water’, I lived forgetting the fluctuations of emotion.
Regardless of whether emotions were negative or positive—I was untouched by them.
“Sometimes there are accidents,” he continued lightly swinging his sword.
Thus, I ought to remain unaffected by such low-tier provocations.
But then,
‘What is it?’
I was momentarily confused.
One of the emotions inside me that had been perfectly balanced was trying to surge out.
Without realizing, my fingertips tightened.
My neck chilled. What was this feeling?
Instinctively, I examined my inner self.
‘…Me.’
And then, I realized.
Maybe.
‘Am I… angry?’
So long had it been, I didn’t even recognize the emotion.
Almost like muck at the bottom of a settled mud pond, it slowly but surely began to overwhelm me.
Since the battle at Pienlin? Or since that dream?
Lately, I had noticed that my emotional regulation wasn’t like before, but never had it surged so strongly.
Then, Johan said as he lowered his sword,
“Exactly whose toes are you stepping on?”
I instinctively narrowed my eyes.
Ah.
Is this it?
With just that one sentence, something stirred within me.
I considered Cheon Yeoul as mine. She was a character I created and cared for accordingly.
And Johan was meddling with “mine.” Treating her as a tool, trying to snatch “mine” away.
So, naturally—I got angry.
Extremely reasonable, but this process had been absent in me recently.
Instead of feeling disturbed, I embraced it. This, too, was one of my emotions.
I subtly tilted my lips upwards.
At that moment, Johan swung his sword and unleashed mana. In an instant, his enhanced body accelerated.
My vision expanded.
The awakening of Total Perception.
The attack direction was obvious: the front. After all, he was the hero.
I lightly adjusted my grip on the spear.
-Clang!!
I precisely blocked his attack.
Neither of us took a single step back.
A sudden clash of strength.
The blades locked and forced each other away.
Johan pushed his sword fiercely, explosively injecting mana.
‘I’ll measure you to this extent.’
Johan’s brow twitched. His previously relaxed expression was gradually filled with alarm.
I could feel the subtle tremors transmitted from his hands to mine.
His sword shook.
Instantly, he narrowed his eyes and twisted his sword, taking a step back.
Realizing he was being overpowered, he immediately increased the distance between us.
And it was a mistake.
Using the twisted recoil, I spun my body, drew my spear from my waist, and instantly threw it.
-WHSSSSHHHH!
A sharp tearing sound pierced through the air.
In an instant, Johan blocked the spear aimed at his head with his sword, gasping.
A fleeting smirk returned to his lips.
He must’ve thought he had seized the upper hand from deflecting the spear.
However, it was an opening. I had no intention of prolonging the fight.
In the moment he deflected the spear, I charged in, using the smartwatch on my wrist as knuckles.
-PFFFT!
And that knuckle accurately struck his side.
“Ugh!”
Johan opened his mouth but couldn’t even groan.
Dust rose above our heads.
I had no intentions of stopping.
Once again, I landed a strong blow to the same spot.
-Grrr!
This time it went in deep.
The sensation of his ribs breaking transmitted through my clenched hand.
Johan’s body violently twisted.
He reflexively swung his sword, but his eyes were off-focus, and his stamina was clearly depleted.
There was no strength behind the blow.
I simply tilted my head to avoid the sword.
Then— the knuckle on my hand struck his face.
-GRR!
With a spray of fresh blood, Johan’s head whipped backward.
His body hung briefly in the air.
And—
Bang!
He was roughly thrown to the ground. But I was with him.
I fell on top of him as he crumpled.
-GRR!
Once again, I struck his face.
-BEEEEEPP!!
The competition-ending signal rang out over the arena.
I paused for a moment.
Looking around, Johan’s body had already been flung out of the ring.
His disqualification, my victory, by foul.
‘So that’s it.’
I didn’t particularly care.
The bloodied fist slammed into Johan’s face again.
-BAM!
The shock caused his head to bounce off the floor.
Mixed with scattered blood on the cracked tile, a few teeth skittered out.
I shook off my hand and stood up. The iron watch that had been tightly coiled around my fingers was completely smashed beyond recognition.
I violently unravelled the debris and tossed it to the floor.
Looking around, the audience was silent.
An uncomfortable stillness.
People couldn’t say anything, silently staring at me.
Then, the announcer stammered,
“…Th, the winner is— Jung Hae-in!”
And in that moment,
-WAAAAAAA!!
A deafening roar erupted.
I slightly covered my ears.
Because it was noisy.
Looking around, the audience seats were quiet.
At that point, the announcer hesitantly said,
“…S, the winner— Jung Hae-in!”
And at that moment,
-WAAAAAAA!!
The arena erupted in thunderous cheers.
I slightly covered my ears again.
It was too noisy.
