Panthegrasia Special Promotion Celebration.
A gathering to congratulate the priest who has been specially promoted.
From the twelve supreme gods to the low-ranking gods whose names don’t even earn a line in history, all attend this grand festival.
However, in reality, it’s a festival for the gods who spend their days in boredom to eat, drink, and enjoy themselves.
Also, it turns into a mocking session for the poor priest due to the Golden Pen event.
Who would miss out on such fun?
Thus, Ares, the deity hosting this celebration, ordered one of the junior priests to entirely vacate one of his small towns on the day of the festival.
Thanks to this, the residents of the small town received compensation and were forcibly relocated for two nights and three days.
It truly is on an unimaginable scale.
Thanks to this… the convenience of no identity checks due to the absence of the guards normally stationed at the city gates.
Artemis and I passed through the wide-open city gates and looked around the city.
There was not a single trace of people or animals; it was eerily quiet, like stepping into a ghost town.
I grabbed Artemis’s arm, pointing at the empty stables and taverns with open doors.
“Wow~ Look at how every door is wide open. It’s the first time I’ve had this kind of experience.”
“To think you didn’t steal the entire city!”
“Eh? How could I steal a city?”
“Well, aren’t you Ark, the thief who steals happy endings? Hahaha!”
“…”
While speaking, I should have noticed when Artemis’s lips twitched sarcastically.
They’ve been pestering me day and night over one incident, to the point where I’m almost driven mad.
Looking back, it all started five days ago in the backyard of Athena’s temple.
Artemis had grown tired of her argument with Nike.
After I told her I was going to the restroom and didn’t return for a long time, Artemis left the reception room to search for me throughout the temple.
While wandering around here and there, just as I was about to open the back gate of the courtyard, we met face-to-face.
My heart nearly sank when I remembered the incident at the military barracks below the Mountain of the Gods.
I hastily explained my conversation with Athena to Artemis, trying to ensure she wouldn’t misunderstand.
In great detail, I recounted it as if the thief himself had been caught red-handed.
After hearing it all, the response Artemis gave was quite something:
“Wow, you really did take good care of Big Sister, huh? But why do you feel the need to explain every single trivial detail?”
She gave me a cool reply with a nonchalant expression, which made me feel even more awkward.
Though I couldn’t bring myself to say “I was worried you’d misinterpret it and go dark,” I laughed it off.
Deep down, I felt truly happy and excited to witness Artemis’s emotional growth.
However,
Artemis didn’t give me much time to bask in pure joy.
“Hey, Ark, by the way, what exactly was that cheesy line about stealing happy endings when you walked in?”
“….”
What do I do?
Until just now, I thought it was kind of cool.
Athena’s expression clearly indicated she was moved.
But hearing it come out of a third party, Artemis, twisted the space-time continuum, causing a tingling sensation in my limbs.
It was a grave mistake to deliver that self-indulgent line, trying to boost Athena’s spirits.
Hearing this self-indulgence from Artemis by chance became the start of ongoing misfortune.
“Haven’t you heard of love hunters? But in all these thousands of years, this is the first time I’ve ever heard someone refer to themselves as a thief of happy endings!! Hahaha!”
Artemis, kneeling on the ground and hitting the floor with her fists, began to convulse with laughter, choking and gasping for breath.
“Can’t you stop teasing me now? It’s the fourteenth time today alone…”
“Ho ho! There are still six more to go. Sorry, Ark? I’m a greedy thief of happy endings! …Hehehe!!! Oh, my stomach hurts so much, I might explode! Ha!! HaHa!!”
Losing all composure, Artemis now spun in place like a top on the ground, cackling madly.
Junior gods arriving in Ares’s small town on schedule were passing by, glancing strangely at us and giggling.
With a sigh,
This shame of becoming a spectacle…
I wanted to die of embarrassment.
Then suddenly, three shadows approached us.
“Still excelling at crude behavior, aren’t you, Artemis? Will you move aside? Before I kick you out of the way.”
Behind her, Aphrodite stood with her fan covering her mouth.
I immediately prostrated myself and glanced upward, assessing the situation.
She had two male gods flanking her,
one a large, unattractive man and the other a red-haired handsome man.
By their appearances, they were undoubtedly Hephaestus and Ares.
“What? Just move aside, why start a fight? Lady.”
Artemis stood up brushing off the dust from her hands, responding defiantly.
Aphrodite, showing she no longer wished to associate, lightly ignored Artemis and turned her head to look at me.
“Artemisian priest, Ark. Promotion to class 8… Congratulations.”
“Thank you, Lady Aphrodite.”
Though brief, Aphrodite and I had much happen between us.
Even so, her professional attitude towards me appeared remarkably mature.
Nevertheless, a myriad of emotions mingled in her voice, which slightly trembled, couldn’t be easily defined.
Perhaps realizing this herself, Aphrodite hastily left the scene with the gods accompanying her, heading towards the inner fortress of the city.
“Mother can’t seem to let go of her lingering affection, it seems.”
Eros, who arrived shortly afterward, spoke to himself as he looked sorrowfully at his mother’s retreating back.
Yet, those words were clearly meant for my ears.
“Are you here, Lord Eros?”
Unlike the other deities in casual attire, Eros was armed with a bow and arrow, strapped to his back and waist.
In contrast to the other deities attending the festival for enjoyment, Eros’s purpose was crystal clear.
“Further words between you and me are unnecessary. We will see each other again at the Golden Pen Award Ceremony.”
Eros, giving me a serious look, left a curt reply and walked towards the inner fortress with his smiling wife, Psyche.
Due to Artemis’s antics at the city gate, I was forced to continually greet arriving deities right on schedule.
Ah, my knees are killing me.
“Long time no see, Artemis, Ark.”
Poseidon, with his gracefully long blue beard, greeted us with a deep voice.
“Lord Poseidon, may you continue to enjoy prosperity? I don’t know how to repay the favor of recommending such a humble servant—”
As I was greeting, Artemis nudged me and stepped forward.
“Ho ho ho ho!! Uncle, guess what this guy said to Big Sister? A thief of happy endings!”
“Thief!”
“What? Do you know it too, Uncle? This is hilarious. Hahaha!!”
The perfectly matched uncle and niece pointed at each other, laughing together and high-fiving.
Realizing I was staring, Poseidon cleared his throat a few times.
“Hmm, Ark. Your choice fills me with great anticipation. Do not disappoint me, understand?”
“Yes, Lord Poseidon.”
While he attempts to retain his dignity now,
there’s an audience, so the actor must perform.
I just decided to play along.
Once Poseidon entered the inner fortress, the area around us began to grow quieter.
Finally, Athena and Nike, in full armor, entered.
When I greeted them, Athena gave a stiff nod and briskly walked past with a tense face.
Judging from her rigid expression and the spear tightly gripped in her right hand,
she seemed to have in mind what would happen should I fail.
The moment I become a threat, Athena’s spear will aim straight for Eros’ neck.
Ding—Ding—
The announcement bell rang, signaling that the celebration was about to begin, echoing across the entire city.
“The time has come. Let’s go, Ark.”
“Yes.”
“You are confident?”
“Considering you’ve just teased me to your heart’s content?”
“Sh, shut up! What can I do if it’s funny?”
“I will surely return the favor someday.”
“Yup~ I look forward to it, Mr. Thief of Happy Endings? Ho ho ho ho ho!!”
Until we entered the inner fortress, we bickered back and forth.
The usual banter was surprisingly effective in relieving the lingering tension.
Upon entering the inner fortress, we immediately parted ways.
Artemis to the VIP seats in front of the stage,
and I, as a special promotion candidate, towards the waiting room.
Inside the waiting room, the priests who had arrived earlier were anxiously staring at themselves in the mirror and clearing their throats.
They glanced at me briefly but didn’t initiate conversation.
Standing and casually looking around the unfamiliar waiting room,
three elementals flew up to me, handing over a formal suit.
After changing and being forced into a chair,
they misted “The Dew of the Gods” onto my face and applied makeup.
Around ten minutes after all the preparations were complete,
—Alright! Let’s start the much-anticipated Golden Pen Award Ceremony! Yahoooo!!
The excited MC called the priests waiting in the room out one by one.
First, a male priest in his thirties, stiff as a plank, marched to the stage.
“To check out how things go.”
I peered through the small glass window.
The priest received the Golden Pen from Hermes, the MC,
scanned through the semi-circular seating area filled with gods,
and approached Hera, sitting in the front row among the Twelve Great Gods, kneeling on one knee.
Respectfully offering the golden pen with both hands,
a moment passed, then Hera gently accepted the Golden Pen without much choice.
Everyone in the audience erupted into cheers and whistles.
ClapClapClap!!
Whiiiiiiii!!!!
Even Hera, known for her heavy and stern demeanor,
couldn’t hold back her excitement after becoming the center of attention.
After struggling to maintain her composure, her lips trembling,
she finally burst into a hearty laugh, lowering all formalities and celebrating joyfully with those around her.
Nice.
That’s how this event will proceed, right?
—Our normally stern Hera has finally cracked a smile, so tonight, we all may drink until our noses are crooked, without a single issue!
“Ho ho ho ho!”
“That statement is forbidden! Hohoho!”
Hermes, with ease, lightened the mood of the gathering with jokes,
and the smooth hosting continued.
One by one, the priests waiting in the room were called onto the stage,
and after an hour, I was the only one left.
—Alright, everyone has waited long enough, right? Good things are always served last.
“That food is going to burn up if we keep waiting! Just call them already!”
“I’m curious!”
—Hahaha. Shall we call the next one? The hottest topic in Olympus these days! The Eye of the Storm! Priest of Artemis, Aaa~rk!!!!!
Hermes called out my name.
It’s finally my turn.
“Alright.”
I double-checked the collar of my suit and ascended the stage.
Eros’ arrow,
Nike’s curse,
I will dodge them all.
Because there’s no regret in retracing my steps.
