This wasn’t the first time I’d given an interview.
Back when I was a player, I was quite the promising prospect.
Journalists often came by, and during the national championship when I emerged victorious, even foreign officials made an appearance.
After being selected for the national team, I was approached for interviews several more times.
So, there’s absolutely no reason for me to feel awkward or nervous.
I’m not here because I messed something up— I’m here as a proud winner.
I know that much for sure… at least in theory.
Yet, something about this body transformation must be affecting me because my heart is pounding strangely, and I can’t calm down.
Stay composed. You know how to ease the tension, right?
Begin with some deep breaths. That should help.
“Hoooww… haaaah. Hoooww…”
Thankfully, it worked.
My narrowed vision returned to normal, and I could clearly see my surroundings again.
In another room, the Reaper appears to be preparing for their interview.
Meanwhile, real-life journalists are taking their seats, one by one, waiting for me.
There’s an empty seat next to me; perhaps it’s for the interviewer.
Soon enough, an attractive anchor took the seat beside me.
Her face was familiar—I’d seen her on television a few times, though I can’t recall her name.
“Were you nervous? I noticed you doing some deep breathing.”
“Oh, not really. I’ve calmed down now.”
“That’s impressive. I was pretty jittery during my first time. Shall we start the interview then?”
“Yes, I’m ready.”
“Great, let’s begin!”
A short icebreaker followed.
The anchor smiled, then the signal went up that the camera was rolling.
“Arena Main Tournament Group Stage E. Player Gawol has defeated Player Rime with a score of 2-0. Now we’ll hear some thoughts from the winner. First, congratulations on the victory!”
“Thank you.”
“In the selection process, you confidently declared that you would beat Rime, a lance knight. How do you feel now that you’ve emerged victorious?”
“Well… Rime held out longer than I expected, but I’m glad I won. I’ll aim to perform well in the next game too.”
“Yes! Those were Gawol’s thoughts after her victory.”
I wanted to sound more natural, but it’s difficult to control my emotions with this body. Even after calming down, I could feel my nerves creeping up again.
“Gawol showed considerable confidence in her match against the lance knight Rime, despite it being a difficult matchup in general. What are your thoughts on that?”
“That’s just… a misconception, I think. If an assassin plays well, they can avoid taking damage and keep chipping away until they win.”
“Yes, very confident answers, characteristic of Gawol.”
The anchor chuckled slightly.
Did I make some kind of faux pas in what I said?
Thankfully, if it was a mistake, it wasn’t significant. The interview continued in a relatively smooth atmosphere. They seemed considerate enough to avoid overly sensitive questions.
Still, they were thorough about getting key points across. For instance, why I avoided using skills in the first match or questions about the combat setups. Whoever wrote the questionnaire must have been knowledgeable about the game.
“Moving on, with Reaper’s recent match win, they’ve become your next opponent in Group E. What are your thoughts or preparations?”
“Hmm, not so much ‘resolve’… but I’ll definitely come back victorious.”
Afterward, the Traveller and I parted ways after watching the Group G matches.
It was Luche’s group.
She proved herself by showing skills beyond our expectations and advanced to the winners’ bracket.
Both Traveller’s and Luche’s victories felt like heartwarming results.
The community’s atmosphere has been steadily rising these days.
Even sites I don’t often visit are buzzing with positive energy.
Despite still being disliked by some, sports are quick to shift public opinion. I need to enjoy the moment while it lasts.
The next day, from A to D groups, the matches resumed.
Normally, today wouldn’t have any special plans for me. However, I decided to prepare for an excursion.
“Even so, wearing workout gear might be a bit much, right?”
That person might not care, but it’s still about etiquette.
We should consider other people’s perspectives.
I pulled out some black stockings from the closet.
At first, I strongly disliked women’s clothing, but now there’s little choice because I don’t have many other options.
The government service turned out to be quite thoughtful after the transformation.
They provided a few sets of clothes that fit after my body changed.
After the accident in April, I was left without any living relatives.
My only connection, Master, was about to leave for an international trip.
But after threatening him that he’d surely die if he boarded the plane, now there’s no one left to care for me domestically.
– “Alright, I get it. Please stop saying you’re going to die.”
– “Then go ahead and leave.”
– “Will you really stay home and rest properly if I go? Promise me properly.”
– “I will.”
– “Alright. I’ll call you at least once a day, so be sure to answer.”
All was going well, but when it came time to leave the hospital, I couldn’t wear my old clothes.
So, the person responsible for sorting my new identity prepared a few sets of clothes for me.
Most turned out to be standard women’s wear.
They seemed to have randomly bought clothing that matched my size near the shopping mall, resulting in very few long pants.
After discounting anything too casual like workout gear, what was left was practically nil.
I had to dig out a skirt that I kept safely for special occasions. Fortuitously, it was long enough to reach my knees, reducing the burden.
Clothing was a luxury I could barely afford back in my old life…
Now that I have a bit more financial security, I should consider buying a few pairs of appropriate clothes soon.
As soon as I put on the skirt, an overwhelming sense of rejection surged.
– This bus stop is Incheon City Municipal Columbarium. Incheon City Municipal Columbarium.
I wore the stockings to cover my legs because there’s a large, obvious scar on my left leg.
It’s the kind of wound that would make people uncomfortable just looking at it.
I already attract unwanted stares as it is, and I need to wear a leg brace on my left leg.
If I walk around with bare skin, it would draw attention inevitably.
This was a practical decision made to protect the psychological well-being of others.
While lost in thought, I arrived at the columbarium.
Walking along the familiar path, I soon reached my friend’s placement.
“Phew… it’s exhausting. You really screwed me over, friend. To make me, someone with physical difficulties, go through all this trouble…”
The one good thing is that my friend’s urn is stored in a lower position.
I don’t have to struggle standing, so sitting down on the floor works just fine.
Happily, there are no bystanders nearby right now.
Sitting down on the floor gave my body some relief.
For some reason, his photo made me feel strangely happy.
I can’t provide a proper offering under my current condition.
My friend probably wouldn’t want me to anyway. Instead of those awkward displays, it might be better to grab a drink or two at a nearby bench.
There’s something embarrassing about two men getting overly emotional—it just looks bad.
“I came ahead of time since I’ll be busy tomorrow. Just be happy that I came.”
Today’s visit was not for my friend’s memorial day.
Technically, it’s tomorrow, but I don’t have a choice with my schedule.
He’s not the type to get upset about coming a day early, so it’s fine.
If I were in his position, I’d tell him to focus on his own tasks and perform well.
He would probably encourage me the same way.
That’s how I choose to imagine it.
My very first wall.
My first and only failure.
And the only friend I ever truly had.
That’s why, while I’m here, I’d also like to draw a bit of encouragement.
“Maybe nothing will change if I win, but maybe something will. At the very least, things won’t get worse, right?”
Before I knew it, time had passed quickly with my quiet updates.
I was feeling parched and had an urge for an alcoholic drink.
