The sound was so loud it felt like my eardrums would tear.
A blinding white light completely swallowed the world, stars and the full moon crashed down to the earth, and the sky shattered like a broken window, collapsing into fragments.
“Ugh!”
As consciousness returned, my body instinctively rose, and I immediately realized that something was wrapped around my lower half.
I could tell it was just the bedsheet and blanket with the briefest of touches. I could even feel the softness of the pillow in the spot I had just been lying on.
“Whew…”
Only then did I realize it was all a dream and I wiped the cold sweat from my forehead. Indeed, a refreshing morning was incomplete without a good stretch.
However, something felt different from the norm, and my instincts immediately picked up on it.
“Hmm?”
Just moments before, I had been completely consumed by trying to comprehend the situation. The dream was so vivid it felt more real than reality itself, to the point where I momentarily thought I had died.
But now, I know. No, there’s no way I couldn’t know.
‘Why can’t I see…?’
My condition had greatly improved, and my body felt rejuvenated, almost like I had returned to my youth. My skin felt firm and full of vitality, as if I could easily take ten laps around the cabin near the woods.
But why…
Why can’t I see?
My heart pounded as I blinked my eyes repeatedly dozens, even hundreds of times, without taking a breath.
Shirai didn’t want to accept reality.
Not the sunlight that greeted her every morning,
Not the familiar ceiling of her small bedroom,
Not even the thick Bible—none of these things would ever be seen again.
“Is this the wrath of the Heaven-Earth Deity…?”
Now I understand.
Because of my foolish mistake—misjudging someone as my benefactor and giving my affection improperly— the Heaven-Earth Deity must have been greatly angered and brought down this divine punishment upon me.
Regret and sorrow welled up, making my chest heavy.
It wasn’t the loss of sight that hurt Shirai the most. It was the unbearable sorrow of never being able to see his face again.
Not only had she missed the chance to confess her love and had her feelings stolen by another woman, but also because of her own errors, she had lost her sight again.
All of Mate Daylight’s efforts for her had come to nothing in a single day.
“Ugh…”
Shirai crossed her arms over her shoulders, struggling to suppress her trembling body. From her throat came a deep moan as she tried to fight back the tears.
The magnitude of regret and sorrow was far too great to contain with just her two trembling arms.
People sometimes unconsciously recall moments of regret.
– Yuren, thank you so much. For helping me achieve a long-held wish.
– Mr. Mate, don’t you have plans? Can’t you just hang out with me instead? I can make it more fun.
– I love you. You’re the only one for me. Wouldn’t you agree, Yuren?
How wrong everything turned out.
Mate should’ve been there.
Shirai, who had been trying her hardest not to cry, finally broke down, sobbing like a waterfall.
If she could see, she would’ve immediately realized the truth: she had returned to a distant past.
The Espera Order.
A religious organization that wielded great political influence over the empire.
The reason is simple: the Holy Maiden belongs to the Espera Order.
For centuries, all Holy Maidens have been affiliated with the Espera Order, the oldest and most influential religious group with the largest number of members.
Despite its grand scale, the Espera Order has a critical weakness.
It is far too dependent on the Holy Maiden.
If the Holy Maiden is incompetent, then the Espera Order is powerless.
The history of the Espera Order’s political influence has depended entirely on the capabilities of its Holy Maiden for countless centuries.
Whenever the order tries to exert influence without a Holy Maiden, it faces suppression from the royal family. Once, they even gave the Holy Maiden a manual to follow but found it useless.
Whenever they tried to follow the manual, they would fail under pressure from other factions or lose arguments, only to weaken further.
The Espera Order had been grappling with this issue for quite some time.
The Holy Maiden of the previous generation was considered the pinnacle of incompetence. During this time, Clive Espera, the high priest of the Espera Order, reportedly faced relentless political pressure, making every day an ordeal.
But this generation’s high priest, Clive’s son, Claudio Espera, couldn’t be more different from his father—so much so that he reached a point of having no worries or troubles due to St. Shirai’s incredible competence.
A prodigy who could understand ten things from one explanation, and a hundred from ten.
Despite her young age, having not even entered the academy, she was well-versed in all political forces and trends. Recently, she secretly met with the second princess and managed to secure a beneficial contract for the church.
Her brilliance sometimes made people question if she was faking her blindness to keep them guessing.
She truly was a remarkable individual.
Knock, knock.
“St. Shirai, it’s time for breakfast.”
EHWHA CLOUDRAIN, a veteran advisor.
She is one of the named swordswomen, who graduated second in her class at Lumere Academy five years ago.
Her reputation rose even further as she successfully protected St. Shirai for five years without a single accident.
But what Ehwah truly prides herself on isn’t her career or fame.
It’s being the lead advisor to St. Shirai, hailed as a genius throughout the realms.
She feels satisfied and has a strong sense of self-worth, simply by being St. Shirai’s advisor.
The fact that she has been working alongside this extraordinary figure for five years is Ehwah’s motivation to live her life.
However…
“St. Shirai?”
In the center of the hallway of the top floor of the Espera Order, where the Holy Maiden’s room is located.
Shirai, who always rose early and promptly responded to her calls, remained completely silent.
Ehwah realized something was wrong and shouted loudly.
“St. Shirai!! Are you alright??”
Bang! Bang!
The sound wasn’t from Ehwah knocking on the door.
The moment Ehwah pressed her ear to it, she heard a terrifying noise from the walls.
Ehwah was a seasoned advisor; she always carried the master key close to her heart in preparation for such emergencies.
Ehwah quickly retrieved the master key from her chest and opened the door in hurried urgency.
Bang! Bang!
“L-Lady St. Shirai…?”
The sight that greeted her caused Ehwah to be overcome with shock.
The reason why she couldn’t move immediately despite needing action…
“St. Shirai! Please, stop!”
Shirai had seated herself on the bed and was smashing her head against the wall.
Blood poured down, streaking her torn skin on her forehead.
Even though Shirai couldn’t see faces, recognizing someone by their voice was still easy for her.
The female knight with brown ponytail hair.
Ehwah CLOUDRAIN.
How could she forget the voice of a partner she had worked closely with for so long?
“Is that you…? Shouldn’t you have become Nipia Princess’s advisor?”
Shirai’s confusing remarks left Ehwah utterly perplexed. Without hesitation, she responded with what first came to mind.
“Something’s really wrong.”
Sighing deeply and tapping her forehead with her hand.
“Do you know where you are? This is the Espera Order, right?”
“The Espera Order? Is this some kind of sudden joke…?”
“Uh… Don’t push yourself. Lie back down. There will be no further warnings, and I will make you faint if you try to get up.”
After a long argument, Shirai and Ehwah successfully came to an agreement.
Walking once around the room and returning to the bed.
Assisted by Ehwah.
Shirai obeyed the agreement and lay back on the bed, immediately comprehending the situation.
That small cabin bedroom wasn’t so spacious. Judging from the layout of the room, it had to be the top floor of the Espera Order, the living space for the Holy Maiden.
The fuller hair, firmer skin, and re-closed eyes, Ehwah’s return to the Order, and Shirai herself.
Given this amount of information, even a grade-schooler could figure out that time had been reversed for some reason.
Judging from the silence of the outside world, including Ehwah, Shirai deduced that only a few—if not just herself—were aware of this fact.
Losing her vision was still inconvenient and scary. Thinking that she would never see that beautiful night sky again left her feeling a deep sense of regret.
But she resolved herself. If she could return to the past, then vision would be something she could sacrifice.
She wanted to see Mate Daylight as herself, Shirai, and not as Shirai Stardust.
“Why do you self-harm?”
Shirai’s torn forehead was treated with gauze and bandages.
Given the calmness of the Order, it seems Ehwah hasn’t shared this fact with anyone else.
“I’m sorry. Lately, I’ve been under a lot of stress.”
“Can the reason really be that simple? And saying things like I’ve become the advisor to Princess Nipia Solaris…”
Ehwah would eventually become the advisor to the Third Princess, Nipia Solaris, in the distant future.
Unintentionally, she had spoiled her own life events.
‘Just because I said that… it can’t possibly affect the future, right?’
Like most people, Shirai is harmlessly unaware of time loops.
Discussing the future with care was naturally expected, considering she couldn’t predict how one word could alter a situation.
“How much time is left before my academy entrance?”
“36 days.”
She had traveled further back in time than she expected.
If that’s the case, then she hadn’t even met Mate yet.
“Hold on!”
“Why, what is it?”
“Isn’t there a scheduled inspection of churches starting tomorrow?”
“Yes, didn’t you yourself mention it? You said it was necessary to investigate major religious groups before preparing for your academy entrance.”
Shirai’s heartbeat was irregular.
Though she remembered the names of all the scheduled churches, she asked Ehwah again just to confirm.
“The Rutern Church, Trics Church, and Arcana Church tomorrow. The Ertsel Church, Scarlett Church, and Eriks Church the day after that. Then the Catalina Church, Tiran Church, and Daylight Church on the third day.”
Actually, she just wanted to hear the name “Daylight Church” from someone else.
She wanted to feel the experience of being sent back in time from another person’s perspective.
“Could this be some kind of hidden camera show?”
“What have you been talking about since a while ago?”
Ehwah is a poor liar. Her voice always trembled whenever she wasn’t truthful.
Such bold confidence definitely wasn’t a lie.
That confirmed she was indeed sent back to the past.
“Prepare the carriage immediately.”
Since the church inspections don’t start until tomorrow anyway, let’s head directly to the Daylight Church.
Shirai concluded there was no point in stalling further.
“No, no, what on earth are you saying? Absolutely not! Besides, don’t you have an appointment in an hour?”
“But isn’t it a prayer schedule? Can’t you just proceed without me?”
“What’s the point of a prayer if the Holy Maiden doesn’t attend? You, of all people, should know that everyone here trusts St. Shirai.”
“But there’s somewhere I must go…”
“St. Shirai…”
Ehwah grabbed Shirai’s hand tightly, expressing deep sincerity.
Seeing her always blind eyes trying to focus on her despite not being able to see always made Ehwah’s heart ache and feel torn.
Having watched Shirai endure hardships as a blind person, Ehwah realized something was truly amiss but was conflicted.
“I’ve never asked for something like this before, right? Please, could you make this one exception?”
Ehwah’s forehead furrowed as she weighed the options in her mind.
If she went outside without the higher-ups’ permission, she might get a pay cut.
If she got fired…
She might never see St. Shirai again.
The hard-earned pride she had accumulated over the last five years could collapse. It was a dizzying thought.
Risking her only source of joy was too dangerous.
But sometimes, human emotions can overpower reason.
“Alright.”
“Are you serious? Thank you so much! I’m so, so grateful!”
“But not right now. We’ll agree to go together at 9 PM. I can’t compromise any further, no matter how much you ask.”
Shirai, who was so elated that she clasped her hands together and bounced them up and down, unknowingly made Ehwah smile.
It was regrettable, though, to think…
‘Right now, losing your sight might actually be a blessing.’
Otherwise, Shirai might have been teased for her happiness.
“…”
I’ll meet you soon.
Not as Shirai Stardust but as just Shirai,
Not as Mate Moonlight but as Mate Daylight.
Regret and joy.
Contradictory emotions coexisted in Shirai’s eyes, two feelings that could never coexist.
