Ceria opened her eyes groggily.
Her drowsy, unfocused gaze only added to the confusion in her mind, unable to keep up with her trained sense of perception.
Where am I?
In the dust swirling within the puddle of memories, Ceria tilted her head.
It felt as if the images from the past had been severed.
To be precise, they were memories just before losing consciousness.
Even with her dull mind, Ceria slowly retraced the steps of the time that had passed.
Senior Ian had visited her bedroom.
At that moment, Ceria, who had been enjoying her time with dolls modeled after the senior, was taken aback.
And then afterward.
The once clear memories began to find their place one by one.
The muddy puddle revealed the truths that had been hidden.
Ah, Senior Ian brought up that bitch story.
Ceria was angry. She could hardly maintain her sanity.
So, in her frenzy, she had pressed Senior Ian.
Then after that.
With each memory that revived, color started to drain from Ceria’s face.
Her originally pale skin didn’t take long to turn ghostly white.
The girl’s upper body sprang upright.
She had to clarify things somehow.
No, before that, she needed to apologize.
It had been like forcing Senior Ian into bed.
Even without a proper confession.
If Ceria had been in a similar situation, she would never be able to forgive the other party.
Her heart pulsed wildly, more than ever.
Her unfocused eyes and twitching limbs, filled with excessive strength, testified to her anxiety.
She felt like she wanted to scream.
If only she hadn’t heard the voice of the man she dreaded.
“Did you wake up?”
With a jolt, Ceria’s body stiffened.
Her distrustful gaze slowly turned sideways. There sat a man with a face she always recognized.
It was Senior Ian.
After a few seconds of blankness, Ceria was startled and dropped her eyes.
She felt embarrassed.
And she felt sorry.
So much so that she couldn’t even think of crying, she fumbled to speak.
“Uh, um, that is… S-Senior Ian!”
“Yeah, that’s right.”
Ian’s voice surprisingly carried a relaxed tone.
Unlike her, who had fainted, he must have had time to collect his thoughts.
Ceria felt like she wanted to bite her tongue out of shame.
No, she actually did bite it.
She was so flustered that it made a sound from her biting her tongue for the first time in a while.
“Uh, um… Agh, um!”
Images flashed before Ceria’s eyes one by one.
Among them, the scene that left the most intense shock was Ian’s hand axe glancing off Ceria’s chin.
It wasn’t language.
Yet it was a brutally obvious answer.
If it were any other woman, they might have cursed Ian instead.
No matter how unstable she was, Ceria was being sincere.
It would be rude to attempt to resolve this with violence instead of conversation.
Yet Ceria could not bring herself to blame the senior she loved.
Everything felt like it was her fault.
Because I’m not pretty.
Because I’m not charming.
Yes, because I’m worse than my sister.
Before long, clear droplets began to fall from Ceria’s blue eyes.
“J-just kill me… please…”
It was a plea that mixed shame, despair, and defeat.
It was certainly not an empty word.
Ceria lowered her head like a criminal waiting for the blade on the guillotine.
To hide the overflowing tears, she covered her face with both hands.
“Please, ugh… please kill me. I can’t endure it any longer.”
“Ceria.”
“It’s my fault.”
At Ian’s sigh-filled call, Ceria gritted her teeth as if to strengthen her resolve.
Her complexion was utterly miserable, though.
“I-I must be worthless… I’m sorry, Senior Ian. Ugh… I’ve caused trouble from beginning to end.”
The man gazed silently at the girl.
And so the girl wept endlessly.
As if she might just die of dehydration at this rate.
“Feeling bad, huh? Can’t even talk properly, so timid. Plus, you have no friends and are of low birth. Out of the blue, a woman lesser than your sister confesses.”
“Ceria…”
“I’m sorry, for daring to have such feelings for you, Senior. I-I’ll try not to stand out from now on… No, I just want to stay nearby…”
“Ceria!”
Only after the man raised his voice, unable to endure his exasperation, did the girl’s mouth finally close.
Yet still, she couldn’t gaze into his eyes.
Ian sighed and spoke.
“I’m not that great of a person. The world has plenty of men who are fine without me.”
“No, Senior Ian is unique.”
Ceria declared, sniffling, without any hesitation in her tone.
“Whenever everyone hated me, you were there by my side. And you saved me.”
“Anyone could do that. I just got close to you early.”
“No, you can’t do that now.”
Once again, clear droplets streamed down the girl’s cheeks.
Ceria seemed no longer even thinking of wiping her tears.
“I won’t accept anyone but Senior Ian. Senior Ian is my everything.”
That firm and straightforward declaration left no room for doubt.
Ian realized that Ceria was sincere.
So he hesitated for a long time.
He didn’t know what to say to Ceria.
Furthermore, he couldn’t even grasp what future he should choose for himself.
Suddenly, a woman’s portrait flashed across Ian’s mind.
The one to whom he had first opened up his heart.
In the end, Ian let out a long sigh.
“Ceria, honestly, I’m trash.”
The violent choice of words made Ceria’s blue eyes widen.
Caught off guard, Ceria even seemed to be about to deny it with moving lips.
Yet Ian was quicker than her.
“There’s a girl who confessed to me. She asked me to wait, but then I fumbled around and ended up in bed with another girl. I’ve already messed around with three girls in various ways. I’m indecisive, insensitive, and even cowardly.”
Ceria’s mouth shut instantly at the sudden confession.
This was the truth Ian had been hiding.
He might have wanted to bury it forever.
Unless it was Elsi, he had never confided this to anyone.
“Honestly, I’m scared. The more serious the relationship, the more there is to protect… I have to save the world, you know.”
His words seemed to be a lament, appearing irritating at first.
Or perhaps they looked weary under the burden, as if he were exhausted from a long battle.
“Can you still like me like this? I can’t choose anyone anyway. Not until I stick a knife into Delphrium’s heart.”
Ceria suddenly recalled a man.
A man who resembled her beloved senior, yet the emotions in his eyes were weary and dulled.
Her senior was starting to resemble that man.
How had the affection and fierce light in his eyes dimmed to such fatigue?
Ceria found it unbearable to witness Ian’s suffering amidst it all.
The answer wouldn’t change anyway.
“Yes.”
Her voice was soaked with emotion, but Ceria answered without hesitation.
“I will like you. Always.”
Because you are my first and last love.
Meeting Ian’s now radiant blue eyes, he smiled bitterly.
“Then wait a little longer.”
What would respond to Ceria’s heart would be after a decision was made regarding the Yuridina Clan.
As Ian made that promise, he embraced Ceria.
Yes, Ceria should be like this.
Cute, lovely, and innocent junior.
Sometimes her obsession is excessive, but Ian really liked this about Ceria.
He was glad she was sane again.
That was Ian’s true feeling.
Still, well.
It was excessive to have knocked her out with an axe.
He was just relieved that she seemed to have forgotten it.
After Ian left, Ceria’s complexion finally bore signs of life.
It felt like a dream.
She had thought she’d be left helpless, yet she found herself in the senior’s embrace.
She didn’t even need to progress any further.
The senior had asked her to wait.
In other words, it meant there was still an opportunity for Ceria.
Though that bitch was ahead for now, the time given to Ceria was long.
Someday.
Yes, someday.
Ceria hummed a tune as she buried her face in the blood-stained clothes that sat in a corner of the room.
It was the outfit Ian wore when he faced the wolf monster instead of Ceria.
At first, she had intended to dispose of it, but while preparing for the Hunting Festival, she couldn’t bring herself to throw it away.
After that, there was no reason to dispose of it.
The clothes of Ian smelled of memories.
The scent of the day Ian had first saved Ceria.
The dusty, bloodied Senior Ian.
He was so cool.
Ceria, as she inhaled the scent of blood still on the uniform, pondered with a dazed mind.
Thus, she failed to notice.
The black mist rising behind her.
[You cannot deceive the blood.]
[You are a monster. You will realize it someday. In the not-so-distant future…….]
Cackling, ominous laughter echoed as if scraping against metal.
Yet, Ceria showed no signs of being bothered by it at all.
On the contrary, her face was calm as if she heard nothing.
Perhaps tiring of her indifference, the black smoke soon broke down into mud.
As it seeped into the wooden floor, that unpleasant laughter did not cease.
[I know, I can smell it… Your blood’s master is coming. From the far south…….]
Instead, only a jubilant cry echoed like a resonating refrain.
[‘Jealousy’ will arrive!]
Soon, the mud vanished, leaving behind pure white smoke.
The day I met Senior Delphine after a long time.
I opened up about my worries regarding Ceria, and Senior Delphine chuckled, saying to me.
“Simple.”
It was nothing more than a one-syllable answer.
Not understanding her intention, I had to ask, stunned.
“Excuse me?”
Then Senior Delphine kindly provided additional explanation.
“Since she said she wanted that, just spend one night with her… that’s all there is to it, right?”
It was a strategy I just couldn’t comprehend.
