My chest feels heavy.
It felt as if I would collapse on the spot and burst into tears at any moment.
Johanna tightened her jaw to hold back her sobs, then let out a single curse in a muffled voice.
“Damn you.”
Johanna clenched her fists as she glared at Ray.
During the ten years that Ray sat silently on the throne…
Johanna had to sit by his side and whisper various stories alone.
She laughed and cried alone, talking to herself as if having a conversation with Ray.
Ray did not open his eyes for a long time.
His heart felt like it was about to explode, and his entire body seemed frozen, torn apart.
Most people who saw Ray directly believed he was already dead.
Still, Johanna believed that Ray could rise again.
She had to believe.
To avoid breaking down in despair, Johanna had to believe that Ray could rise again.
More than a decade ago, Luna promised Johanna that she would restore warmth to Ray.
Johanna trusted that promise made with Luna, but…
Sometimes she couldn’t help feeling unbearable anxiety.
Had Ray truly already passed away?
Could he never return to us?
Was Luna lying?
These doubts and disappointments would suddenly surge up, tearing her heart apart. To turn away from this despair tearing at her heart, Johanna pushed herself to the brink, fighting desperately.
Knowing that accepting Ray’s death would mean collapsing and never getting back up…
Johanna tormented herself so cruelly to avert her eyes from despair.
For ten years, Johanna often had nightmares.
Nightmares where the frozen Ray remained without regaining warmth, crumbling away.
Johanna feared these nightmares might become reality.
The nightmare of losing Ray was more terrifying to her than countless battlefields drenched in blood.
And now, in this very moment.
The warmed Ray looked back at Johanna.
Johanna shed tears and managed a faint smile.
Finally, she could be free from the fear she had tried so hard to ignore.
As the fear faded, all the emotions accumulated over the long years welled up, making Johanna’s chest feel heavy.
“Damn you…”
There were so many things she wanted to say.
Just as she waited for this moment, there were countless words prepared—words she could probably pour out for hours while standing still.
But ultimately, the only thing that came out was a curse.
Like a child throwing a tantrum, Johanna revealed her pent-up feelings while shedding tears.
“Really… you damn bastard… really…”
“”
Looking at such Johanna, Ray remained silent.
In Ray’s eyes, Johanna’s appearance hadn’t changed much, as if time had bypassed her.
Even after ten years, Johanna still had the face Ray knew so well.
However, Ray sensed her changes nonetheless.
He faintly felt the arduous achievements she had built while traversing bloody battlefields and facing death.
The myriad emotions lingering in Johanna’s voice struck Ray’s heart.
Ray couldn’t bring himself to speak to Johanna.
“”
Only after facing Johanna did Ray clearly recall their last conversation.
He realized what wounds he had inflicted upon her.
Standing still in place, Ray couldn’t utter a word.
Then Johanna approached Ray in quick strides.
Puff! Johanna pushed Ray forcefully, causing him to take a few steps back.
In a fit of nerves, Johanna shoved Ray against the wall and barely managed to speak.
“Don’t worry, you said!”
That day, Ray had confidently assured her.
“Just a temporary separation, you said! It’s not dangerous, you said!”
Assuring everyone would be safe, smiling while messing up Johanna’s hair.
“You lied to me!”
At the moment of parting, Ray had told so many absurd lies to reassure Johanna.
And then he died.
At that time, it was the best option for Ray.
He had to calm Johanna with lies and send her away.
If he hesitated, he couldn’t guarantee anyone’s safety.
So he lied.
But Ray also knew that it wasn’t the best choice for Johanna.
The lies Ray told Johanna were nothing more than self-deception in the face of death.
No matter how harshly criticized, there was no excuse.
Ray’s lies became an indelible wound for Johanna.
A deep and lasting scar that would haunt her as a nightmare for the rest of her life.
That was the truth.
Ray knew he realized too late, but…
Nonetheless, he painfully uttered an apology.
“Sorry…”
Suddenly, Ray recalled a past memory.
When Ray came into contact with the World Tree, he saw a different future.
In that future, Johanna moved from battlefield to battlefield, worn down and broken.
Even enduring such a painful existence, Johanna continued holding onto her sword, longing for Ray even as she resented him.
Ray didn’t want Johanna to live such a life.
One reason Ray insisted on the Demonic Realm expedition was because he didn’t want Johanna to endure such a future.
That was undoubtedly Ray’s sincere wish.
But after Ray’s death, what Johanna had to endure…
was not much different from the terrible whirlwind of bloodshed Ray had foreseen.
Ultimately, Ray failed to save Johanna.
Instead, he drove her into a reality no different from that cruel future.
Right before his death, Ray had a clear premonition that his choices would bring Johanna much pain and hardship.
Yet, he couldn’t turn away from Bella’s hope.
“Sorry…”
The clearer the past memories became, the harder it was for Ray to lift his head.
The more he understood the wounds Johanna endured and the frustrations she had to overcome, the more Ray bowed his head, his eyes reddening.
“Sorry…”
There were no other words to say except “I’m sorry.”
Pushed against the wall, Ray leaned against it and shed tears.
Johanna glared at Ray, and others left the two alone, knowing fully well that Johanna had every right to vent her resentment and anger toward Ray more than anyone else.
Even when they were left alone, Ray repeatedly muttered “I’m sorry.”
Johanna shouted angrily, unable to bear hearing it anymore.
“Is ‘sorry’ all you have to say?!”
“”
“Is saying sorry enough?!”
Puff!
Puff!
Johanna hit Ray’s shoulder and arm with emotion-filled punches.
Silently, Ray endured the punches filled with Johanna’s anger.
Compared to the wounds Ray had caused Johanna, a few petty tantrum-like punches weren’t enough to absolve him.
Thus, Ray stood quietly, accepting the punches without a word.
Compared to the sins Ray committed, it was far too light a punishment.
Puff!
Puff!
However…
Puff!
Puff!
Surprisingly…
Puff!
Puff!!
It hurt quite a bit.
Thud!!
“”
With a punch near his sternum, Ray involuntarily let out a low groan.
Each punch from Johanna sent reverberations through his bones and joints creaked.
It felt like something might actually break soon.
Initially intending to endure, Ray belatedly searched within himself for mana.
Though it was a dirty move, his survival instinct overpowered his rationale.
However, there was no mana flowing within him.
“”
Ray belatedly realized his physical condition.
On the verge of death, Ray had deliberately destroyed not only his core but also the circle encircling his heart.
Of course, even though his core and circle were destroyed, the experience Ray had accumulated thus far wouldn’t disappear.
His combat experience and the senses gained from Harshia’s fragments remained intact.
If Ray wished to restore the Spatial Blade’s core, it was risky but certainly not impossible.
Even without the Spatial Blade’s core, restoring a proper core to his heart would allow him to easily reattain the Swordmaster level he had once reached.
However, Ray was powerless now.
Not just a Swordmaster, but a useless wretch devoid of even a speck of mana.
For such a powerless wretch, Johanna’s punches were extremely, excessively painful. Painful to the extent that he worried whether his bones might shatter entirely.
Perhaps due to the prolonged period of dormancy, his muscles were withered and unable to absorb the shock properly.
Eventually, Ray, who had initially intended to endure everything silently, emitted a craven sound.
“Alright, just…!”
“Just?”
Of course, Johanna went berserk.
“Just? What do you mean by ‘just’? Just stop?”
Thud!!
Johanna added more force to her punches, glaring fiercely.
“What will you do if I don’t stop?”
Thud!!
“What will you do if I don’t stop?”
Thud!!
“Huh? What can you possibly do?”
Thud!!
“Now I’m stronger than you, aren’t I?”
Thud!!
Johanna unleashed all her accumulated frustration, beginning to beat Ray as if trying to crush him completely.
Ray, who had been accumulating karma until his impending demise, started receiving his karmic retribution.
Continuing to be beaten senselessly, when Ray finally decided to survive somehow and raised his guard, Johanna furiously knocked it away and shouted.
“Do you feel sorry for me? Sorry? What will you do by apologizing? Huh? Are you planning to throw another necklace at me and act all smug about it? You damn bastard!!”
“No…! Really…! I’m sorry…!”
Being beaten senselessly without a speck of mana for the first time after reincarnation, Ray was now losing his composure.
Finally, when Ray collapsed half-crumpled after being pushed to the corner, Johanna stopped punching, huffing and wiping away her tears.
“Tch…”
Tears continued to flow down Johanna’s cheeks.
Johanna, who had barely survived, looked at the sobbing Johanna and slowly adjusted his posture.
After being thoroughly beaten, the feeling of being alive returned more strongly.
The throbbing pain reminded Ray again that this wasn’t a dream.
Ray had died.
He knew better than anyone that his body and soul had perished beyond revival.
Still, Ray regained warmth and met precious people again.
He could apologize for his wrongdoings and shed tears.
This was nothing short of a miracle.
Ray had no idea how such a miracle was possible.
However, he didn’t need to ask others who had gifted him this miracle.
“”
Luna.
She was the only one.
Creating such a miracle was something only Luna could accomplish.
“”
Slowly, Ray wiped his face.
It was oppressive.
Just thinking of Luna’s name made Ray feel suffocated by guilt.
Still, he couldn’t turn away.
He had to force himself to face it.
He had to confront it and repent for his mistakes, albeit belatedly.
After Johanna calmed down a little, Ray, with a demeanor full of guilt, apologized again for his wrongdoings and cautiously asked Johanna.
“Is Luna… here as well…?”
“”
Johanna’s gaze dimmed.
