Prequel – Farewell [2]
[79]
Before embarking on the journey.
Johanna visited a wasteland near the Imperial Capital with Ray.
The place Johanna found was once adjacent to a bustling city but had become desolate due to the aftermath of a meteor.
“Is this my land?”
Johanna boasted in a slightly playful tone.
Since it wasn’t surprising that Johanna owned some land near the Imperial Capital, Ray briefly acknowledged her and looked around.
Ray still didn’t understand why Johanna wanted him to come along to such an unrestored wasteland.
However, as he glanced around, he noticed a rather large gravestone-like structure in the distance.
Ray asked curiously, “What’s that?”
“A grave.”
“…Whose grave?”
“Speira Prizzran.”
“…!”
Ray, who had been walking alongside Johanna, abruptly stopped in his tracks.
Johanna turned around to look at Ray, who had stopped, and asked, “Aren’t you going to see it?”
“…”
Ray resumed walking alongside Johanna again.
Upon arriving at the tombstone, Johanna lightly waved her hand.
Following her gesture, a strong gust of wind blew away the dust accumulated on the tombstone.
“It’s difficult to publicly erect a tombstone, so I temporarily made this one here.”
Johanna placed a white flower she had prepared in front of the tombstone and offered a short prayer.
While Johanna prayed, Ray remained silent.
After finishing her brief mourning, Johanna brushed the tombstone with her hand and smiled bitterly.
“Remember Speira?”
“…”
“She remained noble and dignified until the end. Just like the day we first met… she was aristocratic.”
“…”
“She maintained her grace, dignity, and pride until the very last moment. Perhaps… No, never mind.”
If Speira had let go of all her grace and pride to fight, perhaps Johanna herself might not have avoided death either.
Though there was no solid evidence, Johanna vaguely held such a conviction.
After touching the tombstone, Johanna turned to Ray with a somber expression.
“Speira could’ve been a hero too.”
“…Yeah.”
“We twisted Speira’s fate this way. We made Speira harbor malice.”
“…It wasn’t us, it was me.”
“How many people must have experienced the same tragedy?”
“…”
Ray couldn’t answer.
Countless people must have endured horrific tragedies beyond measure.
Johanna spoke to Ray, who remained silent.
“Hey, Ray. If you’re in danger, I can do anything to save you.”
“Johanna…”
“So understand Ray. Don’t think Ray is wrong.”
But understanding Ray and accepting his choices were two different things.
It was also true that countless tragedies swept through the world because of Ray’s decisions.
It would be easier to completely ignore those tragedies, yet Ray was trying to face the changed world with open eyes.
Johanna smiled gently at Ray and asked,
“Are you trying to atone?”
“…No. Even if I tried to atone… It wouldn’t work.”
It was already too late to talk about atonement.
Dreaming of atonement seemed futile since Ray had come too far.
Moreover, ‘that day,’ Ray had no other choice.
Even if time were rewound to that day, Ray probably wouldn’t choose differently.
So uttering the word ‘atonement’ felt meaningless to Ray.
Still…
“I’ll… try.”
“That’ll be tough.”
Johanna chuckled and poked Ray’s forehead.
“I’ll help you try. So you can get whatever you want, even a little.”
Though her gesture was playful, her voice reached Ray unwaveringly.
Ray looked at Johanna, who had grown up significantly without him noticing, and nodded.
“Thank you, Johanna.”
“You should definitely thank me.”
Johanna smiled brightly.
*
They set out on a journey.
Ray planned to travel across the continent to personally observe the changes the world had undergone.
Of course, this journey wouldn’t take months of his time.
He intended to stop by the Imperial Capital frequently.
Having explained his plan beforehand to reassure others at the Imperial Capital, Ray decided to start with familiar places together with Johanna.
Their destination was none other than Phillip’s County.
How much has it changed?
Recalling the scenery of his hometown, Ray completed his travel preparations.
Only Ray, Johanna, and a few personnel responsible for miscellaneous tasks were traveling.
Johanna had ample free time anyway.
With Luna, the unparalleled Grand Mage, holding down the fort at the Imperial Palace, there was no need for Johanna to wield her power now that the war was over.
Thanks to this, Johanna prepared joyfully to visit Phillip’s County with Ray without any burden.
‘Journey with Ray…’
In the past, Johanna wasn’t skilled enough to support Ray.
Only Luna could accompany Ray into dangerous battlefields.
That sense of powerlessness and regret from her younger days still lingered deeply within Johanna.
However, now she was accompanying Ray on the journey to protect him.
This change felt quite delightful to Johanna.
Reflecting anew on past memories, Johanna embarked on the journey to Phillip’s County with Ray.
A carriage carrying the two of them passed through the Warp Gate heading toward Phillip’s County.
“…”
Ray thought that Johanna had matured greatly just before they left.
However, once they started their journey, Johanna reverted to her old self.
“Hey, useless Ray.”
“…”
“Eh? Not answering?”
“…”
“Hey, useless!”
Johanna kept teasing Ray, irritating his temper.
Back when puberty first hit, Johanna used to act this way.
However, during that time, Ray could suppress Johanna, which isn’t the case anymore.
Now, whenever Johanna teased him, Ray just had to endure it.
Finally unable to hold back, Ray muttered, “Hey… can you stop already?”
“Wow… asking me to stop? Are you really saying that to me? Hah!”
Johanna gasped dramatically and poked Ray’s ribs repeatedly.
“Me? What about you? How much have I suffered because of you! And now you’re complaining about this? Why are you so impatient?”
“…”
Realizing his fault, Ray silently twisted his body to avoid Johanna’s fingers.
Of course, it was a futile resistance.
Johanna twirled her finger around Ray’s ribs while grumbling.
“I’ve spent all my time on the battlefield wielding a knife, and now I might not even be able to have children!”
Due to the union of spirit and body, Johanna’s physical reproductive functions had become difficult.
As Ray remembered this fact, his face stiffened momentarily, but Johanna simply giggled and began feeling Ray’s ribs.
“Well~ At least it’s not all bad, right?”
“…?”
“There won’t be any wrinkles on my skin in the future. And I don’t have to worry about certain areas getting loose, right? You’re lucky, aren’t you? To have a girl who feels like a virgin no matter how many times you hold her?”
“…”
Ray pondered.
No, why has she become so spicy?
Our Johanna wasn’t like this before.
The Johanna Ray remembered from ten years ago wouldn’t casually make sexual jokes like this.
However, after nearly ten years of battling on the front lines, Johanna was no longer someone whose heart could blush at mere sexual innuendos.
Ping!
Grabbing Ray by the collar and pulling him close, Johanna kissed him lightly on the lips.
After breaking the kiss, Ray chuckled nervously and said,
“You’re being too forceful.”
“If you don’t like being forceful, grow stronger quickly.”
You’re becoming too weak.
With Johanna’s complaints, Ray laughed again.
*
Phillip’s County wasn’t on the front line.
Thus, it was a region relatively less affected by the chaos of war, but even so, many things had changed compared to the past.
For Johanna, who had always been on the battlefield, such changes were familiar.
However, the altered landscape of Phillip’s County stirred many emotions in Ray.
“…”
The signs of life worn down by prolonged war were evident to Ray.
The lack of supplies was a significant problem, but the disappearance of divine power caused even greater confusion.
Divine power was a transcendent ‘miracle’ almost irreplaceable by modern medicine from Earth where Ray lived in his previous life.
In the past, even in remote villages, having one divine-powered cleric was enough to maintain medical and health systems.
The reason the Holy Church could wield immense influence across the entire continent for over thousands of years was thanks to divine power.
However, with divine power gone…
Even urban centers like Phillip’s County in the outskirts struggled to restore order.
Experiencing this chaos firsthand, Ray continuously pondered how to establish a new medical and health system.
Of course, upon visiting Phillip’s County, Ray also greeted the Count of Phillip.
“Have you been well?”
“It’s fortunate you’re safe.”
The aging Count of Phillip calmly welcomed Ray.
Ray and Phillip’s Count exchanged stories for a long time about what had happened and the newly emerging problems.
In the midst of discussing the collapsed medical system, Phillip’s Count suddenly brought up another topic.
“The orphanage is still in operation.”
“Is that so…”
Ray smirked.
Phillip’s Count also smiled and continued,
“Even during the war, we didn’t stop our efforts. We took care of children who lost their parents. There was compassion, but also… because of you, we saw the possibility.”
Well, everyone spins the gacha because of that possibility.
Ray was quietly delighted that the changes he initiated were still ongoing.
As time passed, when it was time for Ray to return to the Imperial Capital,
Phillip’s Count shook hands with Ray and said,
“I believe you will do well.”
“…”
Ray silently nodded.
Phillip’s Count stepped back and instructed,
“Next time, show your granddaughters’ faces.”
“Yes, I will visit again soon.”
After giving his affirmation to Phillip’s Count, Ray departed from the county and returned to the Imperial Capital.
There were still many places to visit besides Phillip’s County.
Ray had no intention of delaying unnecessarily but decided to visit Luna before preparing for the next trip.
When Ray visited Luna, he explained his future plans in detail.
Not just simple plans, but the direction of life he wished to live from now on—Ray sincerely shared everything with Luna.
Looking at Ray, who was finally talking about his own life rather than others’,
Luna finally spoke.
“Ray, there’s a place we need to go together.”
“…”
Ray nodded.
Ray sensed that the moment he had been waiting for but wanted to avoid was approaching.
Once they reached the place Luna wanted to go, he would finally be able to ask.
About your identity.
And about Luna.
Then…
He would be able to ask the woman before him.
Prequel – Farewell [3] -完-
[80]
“…”
Ray looked into the mirror.
Although not extraordinarily handsome, a fairly good-looking face reflected back.
A face that could easily attract affection at first glance.
“…”
Ray stared at his own face anew.
Compared to his ordinary appearance in his past life, the face reflected in the mirror now was quite radiant.
Had he possessed such looks in his previous life, he would have surely wandered around flaunting his good looks.
However, after reincarnation, Ray couldn’t afford to focus on appearances amidst relentless struggles.
He continued this struggle relentlessly until now.
And only now, looking into the mirror, Ray could savor a faint satisfaction.
Feeling the small changes that came to him, Ray lifted his head slightly and wiped the corners of his eyes.
Then he turned his gaze back to the mirror.
“…”
Ray checked if his hair was tousled and adjusted his clothes while looking in the mirror.
Since he rarely did this, Ray spent quite a bit of time checking his appearance.
Pak!
After fidgeting in front of the mirror, Ray shook off his hesitation and straightened his clothes firmly before leaving the room.
However, as soon as he stepped out of the room and hadn’t taken a few steps, he unexpectedly encountered Ellie and Kania.
Ellie and Kania approached Ray with bright smiles.
“Dad!”
“Dad!”
It had been more than half a year since Ray regained his warmth.
During this time, thanks to Ray’s diligent efforts, the distance between him and his daughters decreased significantly.
Of course, Karen and Alesya’s faces were also filled with happiness that never faded.
Everything seemed to be gradually finding its rightful place.
It felt like they were moving towards a conclusion worthy of being called a happy ending.
As Ray warmly greeted his daughters, Ellie looked at him intently for a moment before asking,
“Dad, are you going to meet His Majesty the Emperor?”
Anyone could tell that Ray looked more polished than usual today.
Ray stroked Ellie’s cheek gently and replied,
“No, I have another appointment today, so I paid attention to my appearance.”
“Dad, don’t make too many wives; Mom gets mad.”
Ellie’s baseless worries made Ray chuckle.
It seemed that reading strange books led to strange statements, which were inherited traits.
Ray reassured Ellie and Kania not to worry and moved on.
Just before reaching the meeting place with Luna, Ray was stopped by Johanna.
“Ray.”
“Ah… Johanna.”
“…Are you going to meet Luna?”
“Yeah.”
“…”
Johanna paused briefly, hiding her complex feelings behind a smile.
“Come back safely.”
“…”
Luna should be just beyond the door ahead, so what does she mean by ‘come back safely’?
Swallowing this question, Ray merely nodded.
Passing Johanna, Ray took a deep breath and opened the door leading to Luna’s office.
Inside the office, Luna was still diligently handling her duties as usual.
As Ray entered the office, Luna finished organizing the documents on her desk and faced Ray.
Luna looked at Ray, neatly dressed, and commented calmly,
“…It seems you’re ready.”
Being ready wasn’t just about his attire.
Luna could read Ray’s resolve in his eyes.
Ray was no longer bound by the past and was determined to move forward.
“It’s enough.”
In the past.
When Ray entered the World Tree’s domain, he glimpsed a future where Bella couldn’t bear the loss of Ray and passed away within five years.
Not just that future.
Among the countless possible futures Luna faced just before transcendence, Bella never lived long.
Bella always died filled with regret after losing Ray.
Bella was not the kind of woman who could endure the pain of losing her son first.
Ray overlooked this possibility.
In the past, Ray thought Bella adopted him out of compassion.
Because of her warm and devoted nature, he believed she could treat someone else’s child like her own.
Moreover, although she treated someone else’s child like her own, he assumed her affection for him wouldn’t compare to the love for her biological daughter.
But…
To Bella, Ray was not just a child she tried hard to treat like her own; he was her most precious son.
Just as she couldn’t overcome the frustration of losing Lea first, Bella couldn’t endure losing Ray first either.
However, Ray arbitrarily concluded the form of love Bella bestowed upon him due to guilt or the unchangeable fate, no matter how much he struggled.
Therefore, in every possible future, Bella passed away filled with regret after losing Ray.
Nevertheless, Bella was saved in this world.
Realizing and accepting that Bella passed away happily and that this was the happy ending she desired, Ray was now ready to walk his own path.
Hence, now Luna could finally share the story she had left untold with Ray.
“…Would you like to go on a date?”
“…Sure.”
As Ray nodded, Luna stood up.
Ray didn’t know where Luna was heading yet, so he thought he’d ask once they left the Imperial Capital.
However, the moment Ray exited the office with Luna,
the scenery surrounding him transformed.
“…!”
Suddenly, Ray found himself standing under a clear sky.
Sturdy civilian houses and neatly paved roads appeared first in his view.
Though not at the level of a downtown area, it seemed to be a fairly prosperous village with many people walking busily along the streets.
“…?”
Confused by the familiar yet unfamiliar scenery, Ray turned to look at Luna.
Then Luna walked past Ray and murmured,
“It’s Dinor.”
“…!”
Dinor was the name of the region adjacent to Phillip’s County.
Moreover, it was Luna’s hometown.
“Is this Dinor…?”
“Despite the devastation caused by the war, it has developed a lot compared to the ‘past.'”
Luna continued walking.
Trying to trace the traces of the past in the changed scenery, Ray followed Luna.
Walking along, Ray realized what he needed to do and tensed his jaw.
Now was the time to muster courage.
Facing the truth, Ray now had to ask Luna.
However, despite repeated resolutions for this moment, Ray’s lips wouldn’t part easily.
In fact…
Ray was afraid.
Terrified to the point of wanting to turn his back and run from facing the truth.
But Ray couldn’t disappoint her any longer, so with that single-minded determination, he finally squeezed out his voice.
“You…”
Ray’s voice trembled endlessly.
“Who… are you really?”
“…”
Luna stopped in her tracks.
Then, turning around, she looked at Ray, whose voice quivered as if frightened.
(Interlude)
The expression on Luna’s face was bleak.
From Luna’s sunken gaze, Ray couldn’t read any emotion at all.
For a brief moment, the two stared at each other as if glaring.
That fleeting instant felt eternal to Ray.
“Hmm…”
The frozen time began to flow again with Luna’s voice.
Twisting her lips slightly, Luna turned her back and started walking forward again.
Caught off guard for a moment, Ray hurriedly chased after Luna.
Listening to Ray’s rough breathing, Luna muttered,
“Hmm… Ray, who do you think I am?”
“…”
“Exactly, who do you think I am?”
“…!”
Ray was startled as he chased after Luna.
The scenery was changing again somewhere along the way.
It wasn’t moving to another location.
The scenery was flowing backward in time.
As the scenery flowed backward, Ray realized where the street they were walking on led to.
As the scenery flowed back in time, both Luna and Ray were gradually returning to their younger selves.
The young woman transforming into a young girl asked herself again.
“Who am I? Her Apostle…? A duplicated personality…? Maybe an avatar?”
In fact, she knew the answer.
She wasn’t Luna.
She was the residual echo that Luna, who had achieved transcendence, left behind in this world.
Someone who merely shared Luna’s memories, a substitute created solely for the final farewell journey.
Still, the girl wondered.
“Ray, I have something to ask you.”
“…”
The girl stopped walking.
Ray also stopped following her.
Next to them stood an empty house filled only with cold air.
Ray recognized where this place was.
This was…
The exact scene of the day Ray and Luna first met.
The shabby house stood against the backdrop of the fading scenery from the past.
The young girl dressed in tattered clothing smiled brightly and asked,
“Ray, was I a good mage?”
“…”
Ray remained silent.
On the blurred scenery of the past,
The girl was smiling warmly against the warmth of the setting sun.
Luna was smiling at Ray.
“Ray, this is my endpoint.”
Luna looked around.
Here was her endpoint.
Ultimately, Luna had stayed in the same spot, not taking a single step away from the warmth and salvation Ray had given her that day.
This was the starting point where she first stepped into the world, and this was also the endpoint she chose.
“But Ray’s endpoint shouldn’t be here.”
“…”
A tear rolled down Ray’s cheek, slowly wetting the ground.
Ray couldn’t save Luna.
Despite being the one to reach out first…
He doubted, turned away, betrayed, and leaned on her until all he left behind were wounds.
And now, Ray couldn’t even hold Luna’s hand and ask for forgiveness.
Once this miraculous fleeting moment passes, Ray wouldn’t even be able to share in the loneliness Luna would contemplate for a long time.
“…”
Ray moved his lips.
Ray didn’t have the chance to repent to her.
He wanted to say sorry, but knowing it would only echo hollowly, he couldn’t bring himself to say it.
With tears falling endlessly, Ray painfully whispered to Luna,
“Thank you…”
“…”
“Thank you… Luna…”
“…”
“Thank you… really… thank you…”
Ray mumbled the same words like a fool.
And upon hearing Ray’s gratitude, Luna smiled contentedly and extended both her hands toward him.
“Ray, now live the life you wished for.”
“…”
“Break free from obligations… Pursue the life you desired… and be happy.”
Luna warmly embraced Ray and delivered her final wish.
“For my sake… be the happiest person in the world. Because… I’ll be watching over you forever…”
“Luna…”
The boy sobbed for a long time in the girl’s embrace.
Even after the sunset faded into darkness and the girl eventually disappeared, leaving him alone,
Ray cried for a long time, remembering the girl.
For the happiness the girl hoped for in the future.
He alleviated the ache in his heart for quite a while.
– The Prequel of the Swordmaster of the Red Light District 完 –
