“Let’s die together.”
Ariana’s words drifted into my ears as I closed my eyes and repeated my prayers. I was utterly stunned and lifted my head.
What are you talking about? That’s not what I wished for. How did “I hope you die after me” get twisted into this?
As soon as my eyes adjusted to the light, I saw two figures in my vision. The professor, covered in white armor, sharply transformed his hand and swung it toward Ariana’s neck. Ariana just stood there, quietly watching.
I let out a small scream and reached out toward her back, but before I could, the professor’s movement abruptly stopped.
Blood began to pour out from every hole in his body. The armor crumbled, and his fingers shriveled up, turning stiff like stone. It was as if all the blood in his body was being drained, turning him into a mummy.
The professor let out a hollow laugh and spat out a single word.
“Crazy btch.”
“…Can’t argue with that.”
He seemed like he wanted to curse more, but his face dried up before he could. Even someone as clueless about magic as me could tell he wouldn’t be speaking anymore.
After staggering a couple of times, he fell backward. His dried-up body shattered into dust upon impact.
He’s probably dead.
“When I first learned this, I thought it was completely useless… But I guess I ended up using it after all.”
Ariana let out a deep sigh, blinking rapidly as she scanned her surroundings.
Then, her eyes met mine. Her face flushed with relief, and it was clear she was at ease.
This was the first time I’d seen Ariana so emotionally open. It felt strange. Unsettling. It was like seeing someone who had let go of everything, with no need to hide their feelings anymore.
Ariana staggered and slumped against the wall, her face pale.
“Are you okay?”
She asked me while hugging her knees, staring blankly into the air. Since I hadn’t done or suffered anything, I nodded.
But shouldn’t you be the one answering that question right now?
“The health teacher will be here soon. They’ll handle the cleanup, so you can talk to them.”
“…What about you?”
“Sorry, I couldn’t keep my promise.”
Ariana’s calm face overlapped with the mummified professor’s in my mind.
There were no visible wounds, but somehow, I knew.
“You’re dying.”
“Yeah.”
Her voice, as she spoke of her own death, was eerily calm, as if it were no big deal. What pushed you to this point?
I know. It’s me, isn’t it?
When I realized that things had turned out exactly the opposite of my prayer, my mind suddenly cleared. I had wished for her to die even a few seconds after me. So, instead of me, she’s the one dying.
Yeah, it’s only natural that my wishes don’t come true. If luck had struck twice in a row, I’d be scared of the misfortune that would follow.
With a resigned smile, I opened my mouth.
“How much time do you have left?”
“Probably a few minutes.”
“Then we can talk for a bit.”
I walked over to her and sat down beside her, leaning against the wall.
Feeling her gaze on me, I wondered what to say. Since she usually avoids conversations, this situation felt unfamiliar.
Then it hit me—I could ask something lighthearted but something I’d always been curious about.
“Why did you like me?”
It felt a bit out of the blue, so I added, “It’s not like there was ever any romantic tension between us.”
Ariana made a face like she’d been asked something she really didn’t want to answer.
“Ah, well… It was your looks…”
“…I see.”
“That was just the start! Just the start! Don’t get the wrong idea!”
Flustered, she raised her voice and started coughing. I sighed and patted her back. Her feet, now in my line of sight, were shriveling up like the professor’s. I forced myself to look away.
It’s fine to like someone for their looks. Why are you so flustered?
Though it’s a bit shallow.
Ariana caught her breath and twisted a strand of her hair. Her face was gradually turning red. She must be embarrassed.
“After I got to know you a bit, I found new reasons to fall for you every time we met… There are too many reasons. I’ll probably die before I can list them all.”
“If you liked me that much, why didn’t you confess?”
Since time seemed short, I asked outright. Her eyes, looking slightly startled, filled with regret.
“Yeah… I kept making excuses. Saying homosexuality was weird, that there was a status gap… I ran away from it all. If I’d known it would end like this, I should’ve just blurted it out back then.”
“Well, no. Back then, I was busy chasing after Hans, so it made sense. But what about now? Even after we met again, you didn’t say anything.”
Ariana made a bitter face and hung her head low.
With a snap*, her completely dried lower body began to crumble.
“…How could I? After what I did. It’s obvious how much the princess hates and despises me. If I had any conscience… I couldn’t do it.”
“…Yeah. I did hate you.”
After we reunited, our relationship was so hostile that love was the last thing anyone would associate with it. I was the one-sided victim, and she was the one-sided perpetrator.
But there were some ambiguous parts too.
There was.
Maybe Stockholm syndrome kicked in, but at some point, I started feeling a strange closeness to her.
I couldn’t quite figure out what that emotion was on my own.
I wanted to check.
This is the last chance, after all.
If I didn’t actually hate her, there were things I wanted to say.
“Ariana.”
“Yes.”
“Can you confess to me just once?”
“Huh?”
“Close your eyes and do it just once.”
“Uh…”
It was a sudden, weird request, but Ariana surprisingly took it seriously.
She fidgeted, unable to keep her gaze steady, her ears turning red as she opened her mouth.
A shy gesture mixed with a whisper-like confession.
Maybe because it was so different from her usual demeanor, it looked kind of cute.
“…I like you. Please accept my feelings.”
“Sorry. I’ll have to reject you.”
I realized my feelings the moment I heard it and rejected her.
Ariana’s expression turned dumbfounded.
She awkwardly laughed and continued.
“I guess I really don’t like you. Judging by how I feel now, I probably can’t forgive you either.”
Even if she had asked me to live together and I had followed her like I was drawn to her, I wouldn’t have been able to endure it.
I couldn’t erase the short but intense version of her from the first two months.
Even if she apologized, the past wouldn’t disappear.
“But I guess I didn’t hate her either. I just wasn’t attracted to her, but I didn’t find her repulsive. Well, I wouldn’t have given my body to someone I truly hated.”
The extreme method of confirming her existence by giving my body was possible because the kiss on the first day wasn’t as unpleasant as I thought.
My sexual orientation and the lack of rejection toward Ariana as a person played a big part.
Despite her current cruel demeanor, she was one of the closest to the princess she used to be.
Even if I felt betrayed, the starting point was different.
In the end, it was like this.
The result of strictly separating the princess of the past and the me of the present.
I couldn’t overlap the kind Ariana of the past with the terrifying Ariana of the present, and in the end, I came to love and hate her.
I came to feel both love and hate.
Even if it’s a twisted relationship closer to a mental illness than love, the fact that I feel affection is what matters.
The reason I see her differently from those who hurt me is because I’ve divided her into two people within me.
It wasn’t entirely wrong to see her as just a torturer when I looked at her mask.
I hate the Ariana who hurts me, but I don’t hate the Ariana who doesn’t hurt me.
That’s all.
I nodded in understanding.
Ariana, however, was still trembling.
Every time her body shook, dust fell from her stiff fingers.
It was hard not to notice.
The fact that she was dying was too obvious.
“Why… why are you saying this…?”
“I wanted to thank you for saving me. I don’t want to feel grateful toward someone I dislike.”
The words I wanted to say were of gratitude.
Regardless of who caused it, she tried to protect me, and because of my wrong judgment, she lost her life.
If I don’t hate her, I should be grateful.
Ariana grimaced painfully upon hearing my words.
“No. I don’t deserve your gratitude. Everything that happened was my fault…”
“Don’t worry. I have no intention of forgiving you. You’re still an enemy, not even a bad friend, and I’ll only think of you when I have nightmares.”
I turned my head and met her gaze.
Without realizing it, my voice carried strength as I continued.
“I’m only grateful for the value of your life. For the rest, suffer and die.”
Ariana’s eyes widened.
The words that were about to spill from her slightly parted lips were swallowed back.
Her twisted expression had already relaxed.
Though it was a cruel remark to someone dying, it seemed to sound different to her.
“…Thank you.”
“You should be.”
Ariana smiled faintly.
Her chest was so stiff that her laughter sounded metallic.
“It’s like seeing the princess from my childhood.”
“That doesn’t sound like a compliment.”
“It is a compliment.”
A comfortable silence followed.
She only opened her mouth again after her lips had stiffened almost completely.
“I’m sorry.”
“Yeah.”
“Will you forgive me?”
“No.”
“I see.”
Ariana smiled.
“It’s painful.”
Despite her words, her expression wasn’t one of pain.
Perhaps because it was painful, she might have welcomed a better death.
Ariana slowly closed her eyes.
As her breath left her, her body dried up quickly.
After about five minutes, she crumbled completely, making it hard to even guess her former shape.
Only then could I accept that she was dead.
