Chapter 5: Night (About Sinking Shadow, but everyone knows who the protagonist is)
I stood atop the grand and sacred church, the silent night still and devoid of other presence apart from me.
Stars shone brilliantly like fluorescence, and lights flickered in homes nearby, perhaps.
This is the scene I guessed based on four years of experience. My eyes have long lost their former luster, unable to see, willingly so. The colors of the world, I’ve let go without a single regret. That year, I exchanged my bright golden eyes, once as clear as glass under the sunlight, for these four years of mundane, tranquil life. This exchange, whether it is worth it or not, is irrelevant. It is simply what I chose.
Blind nun – isn’t that quite a cool title?
Moreover, some truths only become visible after discarding the dazzling colors of the world…
In these four years, I’ve grown accustomed to a restrained smile, to slight bashfulness, to offering blessings to each and every resident who passes by, pure and devout.
There are the childish voices of children, the warm words of the elders, occasionally followed by the hearty laughter of men, and the tender voices of women.
But I knew from the start that these days would not last long.
Thus, I indulged but never lingered.
Thus, when she appeared, I harbored no trace of regret or sigh, only my usual calm smile, as I watched her and spoke of what I knew and thought.
But I was wrong. As prescient as I thought I was, even after seeing through people’s hearts, grasping the intricate disputes, I never foresaw that one day, I would change due to one person. Our relationship, though untangled, was also not entirely clear.
Sinking Shadow Corvado, a feisty half-elf noble young lady, no, she might as well be called a maiden. Her smile brightens like a flower, but this has nothing to do with her.
Yet, I couldn’t help but feel drawn to her.
After she came, I always wanted to do mischievous little things during my leisure time to tease her, making her act coy in front of the crowd. Looking back, I am astonished at how childish my methods were. Just like now, on this city that worships the divine, I perform this act of blasphemy: standing atop a church, and I am, after all, still a nun…
In fact, more than making her act coy, I hope to see her genuine smile, or perhaps repent for the sins I once committed. Those mistakes I cannot recall…
But I also realize, this is not an easy matter. At the very least, it is no easier than reclaiming the sinful name that I discarded. She doesn’t know about my past…
“Sister Lena.” Her clear, youthful intonation was something I enjoyed hearing when she addressed me.
The night doesn’t hinder the elves’ vision, so Sinking Shadow could see me. I had already anticipated this, just as I knew that despite my blindness, she was surely pulling at her hem to respectfully bow to me.
Despite its lack of originality, it couldn’t stop the joy in my heart.
Because she had come again.
I thought I was sick, but this was mere speculation. In this world, there is probably no one who knows oneself better than a saintly individual. Perhaps God understands. Perhaps a demon does too.
“Sister Lena!” She called out again, and I suspected she was frowning because of my inattention. “Please sit with me for a while, Lord.”
Though I didn’t wish to refuse, the words at my lips turned into, “Speak, what is the issue this time? I’ll leave if you don’t.”
Immediately, her clear voice rang out with a tone of caprice, “Sit with me for a while, Len-nie-Nun-Nee~.”
Still, I sat down. Ultimately, regardless of the process or method, it ended with the outcome she desired.
“Strange, the usual her wouldn’t act so capriciously. Could something really have happened?” With slight doubt, I prepared to listen.
“Hehehehe.” She giggled and sat down next to me with a casualness. “Can’t I come visit you without any reason, Lady Lena~?”
She was always so one-sided, so stubbornly obstinate.
Just like the year she fell head over heels in love with the eldest son of Marshal Leman Frank Baum’s household – Sacred Dragon Frank Baum.
No matter how her relatives and friends repeatedly tried to dissuade her, she remained steadfast against all consequences until she was heartbroken but unrepentant.
Back then, she was incredibly determined. I saw her, eyes still open back then, leap off the walls of Golan-Elsen City.
I also witnessed her fatal stab in the opulent wedding of the faithless man to an eminent socialite of the empire’s capital.
And I saw her reciting strange laments, curled up in her cell.
“A man has died, a man of little worth, too lazy to bury him in a tomb. The head fell under the bed, and the limbs scattered across the room…”
Back then, I wasn’t called Lena, I wasn’t a nun, and I wasn’t a good person either.
Until I carried out the act I deeply regretted yet couldn’t undo.
I mistook and killed someone.
That attendant, the young wolf-woman named Antilu Roy, who rushed everywhere in hopes of lifting her spirits.
