If only I had the will, executing it wouldn’t be hard, would it?
It would be meaningless talk.
-Grinding sound.
758th death.
The moment I woke up, I fell out of the trunk. With my face pressed against the ground, my breath was momentarily cut off.
I clenched the dirt with my fingertips.
I rose from my spot, tearing at the unfortunate weeds.
From here on out, the task was simple: a routine ingrained after hundreds of deaths.
Before Park Kwang-cheol comes to investigate the sound, I had to quickly sprint down the hill and head to the battlefield.
And roughly, grab any one of the three apostles, fighting well and dying in the process.
Although, I doubt I’ll fight well.
Unending death and resurrection endlessly repeated. Now, I can predict the attacks aimed at me.
If I just focus on dodging, I might survive somehow.
However, the problem lies with attacking. I, without any weapon, cannot penetrate their outer skins no matter what.
Ultimately, I had to admit this brute-force method has its limits.
But it’s not like I haven’t gained anything. There’s been ample time, so I should have tried other methods as well.
Therefore, I decided to observe their battles.
The level of combat, however, was in another dimension entirely, hard to track even with my eyes.
Analyzing their movements with the intuition I possess isn’t an easy feat.
In an hour, their battle would end.
One Apostle laughs and charges in. However, he retreats after Blag tears off one of his wings in a stronger counter than expected.
Then, all three Apostles attack simultaneously. As expected, the result is as predictable as ever.
Once again, the battlefield crumbles.
Witnessing my comrades’ deaths moment after moment with intense focus and analyzing them in death is no task for human beings. Sometime, I felt something streaming down my cheeks. I wiped my face.
They were tears. I realized I had unknowingly started to cry.
[‘Clear Mirror Water’ evolves into ‘Ego-less State’.]
My state of mind, forged through countless deaths and returns, was nearing Nirvana.
The battle ended. Calming my mind, I headed towards the battlefield.
For some reason, death stopped being frightening.
“Who are you?”
The Apostle who just killed the old man asked another Apostle beside him.
I gave no answer. I positioned myself to fight and die.
I had exhausted all the methods I could think of, even trying to provoke a retreat. But the Apostles always noticed immediately. I classified this as the world’s suppressive force.
There was no other way but to stay on the predetermined path.
Also, something like this happened once before.
“Hey, you sons of bitches!!!”
All three Apostles turned.
I screamed.
“Please, just let me stab once. It’s not like it’ll make any difference, right? Just once!”
The Apostles didn’t mock me. They just unsheathed their great blades. However, the faceless Apostle with a pristine white face near them smirked.
After muttering a few words to the others, he slowly approached me.
“Would you like to try stabbing me?”
‘Blag.’ I recognized the face.
He spread his arms wide.
Taking no defensive stance, he simply waited for my attack.
I believed without doubt that he’d accept.
I concentrated all the mana I could muster at the tip of my spear, and then struck with all my force.
-Grinding sound.
“Haha, it’s okay.”
-Cracking sound.
The moment I woke up, I was overwhelmed by doubt.
Not even with my best effort did the attack work. The amount of innate mana I possess was utterly insufficient.
I had to make a decision.
‘Reverse Heaven.’
The final and ultimate technique left. Now, I have no choice but to use it. Reversing the flow of mana through my entire body and blood vessels to amplify power…
The only drawback was that, by activating ‘Reverse Heaven,’ my growth trajectory would be permanently locked in place. It’s impossible to reverse the mana flow once directed, after all.
I took a breath of air and forcibly reversed my mana flow.
An instantaneous sensation of burning in every vein of my body.
All the energy coursing under my skin surged in the opposite direction.
My organs felt like they were tearing. My bones felt like they were shattering. All my nerves felt inflamed.
-PUK!
I spat out blood and died.
The 912th death.
The 1100th life.
Finally, I succeeded with Reverse Heaven.
[You have partially obtained the ‘Reverse Heaven Divine Skill.’]
But, only partially.
After countless deaths, what I realized was that my pitiable body could barely survive the Reverse Heaven.
Simply reversing the flow of mana was insufficient.
‘Reverse Heaven’ is a technique that explosively amplifies power by reversing the flow of mana entirely.
Yet, my frail body proved incapable of withstanding such strain.
If it weren’t for the elixirs of Iano, strengthening the essence of my mana in a short span would have been impossible.
Hence, instead of enhancing my frail body, I focused on increasing my mastery of Reverse Heaven.
The 1104th death.
I died spitting out blood.
The 1492nd death.
My heart exploded.
The 1671st death.
My blood vessels burned out. My body broke before even an Apostle could kill me.
The 2001st death.
The conclusion was simple.
My body needed to be perfectly adapted to Reverse Heaven.
The 3910th death.
Failure. My body still couldn’t adapt to Reverse Heaven.
The 4399th death.
My body started slowly adapting to Reverse Heaven.
After adjusting the output, I devised a method for immediate response.
The 4529th death.
10 seconds.
Maximum maintenance duration: 10 seconds.
It was within these moments that I realized I could bring this conflict to its end.
I lost count of how many deaths I endured.
The battle with the Vanguisher.
By now, I was able to fight in sync with them.
However, being able to fight does not mean winning.
Everyone had died.
As expected, my demise would follow.
-PUK!
While lost in thought.
A fist pierced my stomach. It narrowly missed my heart, but I felt my organs rupturing.
However, it didn’t hurt. Not that there’s no pain — it was just that I had become too accustomed to it, rendering my senses dull.
I have died countless times without a number.
What meaning does death hold now? Simply, if I die, I return, and that’s all there is to it.
So, the only thing I need to do right now is one.
Kill.
I firmly grabbed the Apostle who pierced my stomach.
With my other hand, I drew out my spear and summoned mana using Reverse Heaven.
Kill.
The Apostle’s eyes wavered.
But it was too late.
The mana concentrated at the tip of my spear surged, a monstrous power vastly stronger than ever before.
10 seconds.
The swirling mana awaited its chance to excise the evil.
The Apostle tried to withdraw his arm.
However, the muscles of my stabbed stomach held him in place while my other hand gripped his arm.
The Apostle grimaced, hitting my face with the opposite hand.
-BOOM!!
My head snapped to the side, but I felt nothing.
And, thus, my spear pierced the Apostle’s shoulder.
-Gnashing sound!
“Kghghhh!”
I finally inflicted a wound. The Apostle groaned.
Has this ever happened before?
Have we ever witnessed any of them in pain?
I’m not sure.
My arm trembled. Just a little more, just a little more.
-BOOM!
But I wasn’t the only Apostle.
Another Apostle standing nearby hit me forcefully and flung me away.
“Idiot, what are you doing?”
The Apostle whose shoulder was pierced let out a hollow laugh, then threw the spear stuck in his shoulder at me. Hatred gleamed in his eyes.
He looked ready to explode every moment.
But,
“Let him be.”
The other Apostle extended an arm to restrain him.
“He’s already dead. We need to go now. We’ve overstayed.”
Looking around, the sun was setting. This was the first time we had fought for so long.
As they left, leaving bloodstains, I suddenly felt my body weaken. I bowed my head reflexively.
What is this?
The Apostles were gone, but I had survived.
Though the Vanguisher had been annihilated, it was during this moment that I finally glimpsed hope.
It was the first time I had changed something with my own hands.
It was the first time I had seen a small change in the battlefield that had endlessly repeated deaths.
Finally, after countless uncounted deaths, the results arrived.
Blood flowed from my body.
The sensation of my entrails severing and my muscles tearing returned.
“Uh…hehhehe…”
Dying soon, I smiled happily. Finally, I understood.
No matter how long or how many times it takes, I will kill all of them.
And,
I will save everyone.
Breathing became erratic. Though I couldn’t feel physical pain, I sensed the limit of my breathing.
Now, it was time for me to go save my comrades. I took out my spear and immediately plunged it into my neck.
-PUK!
I’ll return, again. To the base point.
Wait, I will surely kill them.
But.
The place where I opened my eyes again.
“Uh…uh?”
The battlefield.
The very place I had just died.
My body still bore a hole, and blood was still flowing from the wound.
For a moment, I couldn’t comprehend.
“Am I not dead yet?”
Once again, I lifted the spear and drove it into my neck.
-Punch.
When I opened my eyes again.
Still,
It was the same place.
I instinctively sensed something was wrong.
Clearly, I had died, so why…?
At that moment, a distant voice was heard.
“Emergency support team coming!”
It was the association’s emergency response team. For a moment, I was breathless.
And then it struck me.
In desperation, I stabbed at my neck again.
-PUK!
When I opened my eyes again, I ended up back in the same place.
A hypothesis screamed in my mind.
Desperately ignoring it, I attempted to crawl away from the direction of the rescue team.
“Quick! Quick, apply the recovery Holy Law!”
Someone shouted.
And—
A sacred energy engulfed my body.
“No…!”
A single potential.
The Apostles fled.
From the moment they left, I, Jung Hae-in, had survived.
And the system judged it as the “end of the situation,” regardless of the annihilation or survival of the Vanguisher.
A new save point was set for me.
“AAAAAGGGHHHH!!!”
A scream tore out of me.
I covered my head with blood-drenched hands.
I writhed on the ground, clawing at my hair.
Hundreds of deaths, thousands of deaths.
I endured, I tolerated.
And, finally, I thought I had succeeded.
In that moment, I assured myself that I had unmistakably changed something.
The light of hope I saw turned out to be the waning embers of life for the last of them.
“AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGGGH!!!”
From then on, countless times, I raised my spear and drove it into my neck.
-Punch!
I opened my eyes.
-Punch!
I opened my eyes again.
But, there was no return to the previous point.
It was all over.
I…
In the end, I…
Couldn’t save anyone.
